She gaped at him. ‘How do you know that?’
He shrugged, looked away. The urgency of her question pressed on him and he wished he could turn and run from it again. But he’d seen the devastation in her eyes when he’d run from her before, the echo of it as she’d jogged up to him just now, and he didn’t want to put it there again. He ran his hand over his face. ‘I can feel it through the pack bond,’ he lied.
She gasped. ‘Does that mean everyone can feel it?’
‘No.’ He grasped her shoulders; her embarrassment at the thought everyone could feel her confusion, her worries that she was failing at this thing she’d always been so good at, were a knife in his gut. ‘It’s just apparent to me because of my link with Skye. I can feel things through her the others can’t and it amplifies the pack bond.’
She nodded. His sigh of relief fluttered the hair at her temples and he suddenly became aware of how close they were, the softness of her skin under his fingers where they touched her arm, the fresh apple blossom and honey scent of her. His cock hardened in his jeans and he almost groaned.
Fuck. He let her go. Stepped away. But it wasn’t enough. What the hell had he been thinking when he’d nodded for Iain to leave them and let Tom run up to the house? It wasn’t a good idea, being here with her with nobody else around again. He’d told her to forget about the kiss, but he couldn’t. The memory of it was like wildfire in his blood, a flame that seared images into his mind; the image of her face in his hands, the feel of her lips on his, the slide of her tongue inside his mouth and his inside hers, her gasping breaths an echo of his, the warm, soft press of her body lying on top of him. It drove all other thoughts aside, until all he could think about was doing it again. Going further. Taking everything she offered, and more, until they were wrung out, sweaty and limp in each other’s arms.
That’s why he’d run. But he couldn’t run now. She was hurting and unsure and he had to make her see what was so apparent to him. She wasn’t just warmth and light for him—she was that to the whole pack. To her friends. To her clients. Digging his fingernails into his palms, he forced his body to calm, so he could stay and help her.
‘I’m the lost cause, Bronwyn, not you.’
‘I don’t believe that,’ she said, a spark in her eyes now.
‘I know you don’t. I also know your confidence isn’t being helped because you’re not having any luck with healing the schism separating me from my wolf. But you shouldn’t let what’s happening with me knock your confidence. Skye says that even the McClunes’ healer is stumped, and she’s been using her magic to heal for a lot longer than you have. Once your new and old powers come into balance, I know you’ll figure it out. But you’ve got to stop focusing on it and seeing it as a failure. I don’t.’ He wanted to touch her forehead, brush away that frown, cup the warmth of her cheek. He realised he’d raised his hand to do just that. Her gaze lowered to it, and she stepped forward, as if wanting the touch too.
He dropped his hand and stepped back, surprised by the flash of disappointment in her eyes. No. He had to have been wrong. She couldn’t have wanted him to touch her. Not in the way he needed to touch her. Maybe in the way pack did, to settle, comfort.
Damn it! He couldn’t even give her that. But he could give her words. He could give her what she needed to hear. ‘They need you to keep trying. I need you to keep trying.’
‘But I hurt you.’
‘No you didn’t. I hurt myself. Something in me just can’t accept the change your powers bring.’
Her brow furrowed and her eyes fogged over again, but not in confusion this time. It was as if she wasn’t quite there with him; like she was seeing something else. ‘The darkness in you. I felt it lash out, but you stopped it. Held it in.’
His muscles clenched, his jaw tightening as he remembered the pain that had followed the glory of her healing power when it had first channelled into him. Her power hadn’t caused the pain. The Darkness had done that. ‘I couldn’t let it hurt you.’
‘You’re my hero.’
He huffed out a laugh. ‘I’m nobody’s hero.’
‘You were mine, yesterday.’ She reached out, touched his clenched fist, a smile flirting on her lips. ‘You’re so strong.’ Her gaze caught his, held him for one breathless moment so that he couldn’t respond. Just stood there, caught in the magic that was this woman who could be his mate if only he wasn’t so broken. Too broken for even her to fix.
She curled her fingers around his fist and his hand opened, welcoming the slide of her skin over his, the twining of their fingers. She stepped closer—maybe he pulled her closer, he didn’t know. But suddenly, she was standing so close he could feel the warmth of her on his chest, the brush of her breath on his neck. She lifted her face, her tongue brushing over her lips, wetting them. He couldn’t look away.
‘River?’
‘Bron! You healed Tom.’
He wasn’t sure who jerked away first at the sound of Skye calling out, but suddenly they were standing on opposite sides of the path, panting like they’d been running.
Skye didn’t seem to notice. She practically danced up to them, and threw her arms around Bronwyn. ‘I knew you could do it. My power always settles around the children and does what it’s meant to do. It seems yours does, too.’ Her lips trembled. ‘I’m so relieved. I thought my power had screwed yours up and it’s been tearing at me. I know how much you need to heal.’
‘It’s not your fault, Skye. I healed Tom with no worries. I know I can do it again.’ Bronwyn wrapped her arms around her friend, but her eyes didn’t move from River’s.
He knew she wouldn’t forget about what had just happened. That she was going to try to have a ‘discussion’ with him about it later. But he couldn’t let that happen. As much as he wanted to build her confidence, talking about the attraction between them wouldn’t change or heal anything. It would just cut the wound open, make it deeper so it would never heal. Not that he was worried about healing himself. He’d soon be dead. At the first sign that the true madness was coming on, that he would turn rabid, he would take matters into his own hands and put himself down. It was the right thing to do. The only thing to do.
He just didn’t want to leave more open wounds behind than he had to. So he had to stop Bronwyn from pursuing this heated desire that kept flaring between them. It would do neither of them any good. He could never allow the mating bond to snap into place. It might bring a few months or weeks of bliss to him, but it would leave Bronwyn with a lifetime of grief.
He couldn’t be responsible for making her light fade. He wouldn’t.
So he shook his head at the question in her eyes and turned his attention to his twin. ‘It was remarkable, Skye. You should have seen it.’
Skye spun to face him, one arm still slung around Bronwyn’s shoulders, the touch filled with a casual intimacy he envied. ‘I wish you’d brought him up to the house for the healing.’
‘He was in pain. Bronwyn needed to heal him right away.’
‘Of course. I’m just being selfish. I thought I’d be the one to talk some sense into you.’ She laughed. ‘Who would have guessed it would have been my quiet, reticent brother?’ She skipped across the path and threw her arms around him.
He knew he should have flinched and pulled away, start the separation now, but he couldn’t. He loved Skye more than he’d ever loved anyone until he’d clapped eyes on Bronwyn. They’d been separated for so long, by the lies told to her and the drugs he’d been fed. Being part of her again felt so right, and he couldn’t let go of it fully. Not quite yet. So he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back, chuckling when she grumbled he was holding her too tight and then gave him a smacking kiss on the cheek when he let go.
‘Come on. Both of you. This deserves a celebratory drink.’
River shook his head. He couldn’t go up to the house and pretend to be happy and part of the celebration. He couldn’t chat with other packmates and share the food he knew Adam was making now fo
r whoever would be around. His emotions were too raw. He could feel the Beast stir inside him, even though the full moon was weeks away. He had to get away from the cause.
‘You go ahead. I want to go for a run. I’ll be in later.’
‘But don’t you want to tell everyone about Bron healing Tom?’
‘I’m sure Tom and Bronwyn will do a great job of that without my mumbled version of events.’
‘You’re being too hard on yourself.’
Her disappointment dripped over him like acid. But he couldn’t let it affect his decision. ‘You know I don’t like big groups. I’m better by myself.’
‘But if you go for a run, it means Iain has to miss out too. Don’t you think that’s a little selfish?’
She was pouting at him, just like she used to when they were kids. He’d always given in to her in the past when she did that, her eyes wide green pools filled with her plea. He would have given in to her now, except Bronwyn was standing there, a reminder of exactly why he couldn’t.
Laughing off her appeal, he said, ‘If anyone wouldn’t care about missing out on a party, it would be Iain. He is the pack’s Lone Wolf after all.’
He could see Iain up by the gate, watching them from the spot he’d been standing in since returning from putting the bike in the backyard. He’d probably seen everything. Thank the moon it hadn’t been Patrick or one of the others shadowing him today. If it was, they’d have questions about his intentions towards their healer. Questions he wasn’t prepared to answer. But Iain knew the value of keeping his own counsel and he allowed others to keep theirs too. He was the perfect Shadow.
He gestured with his head towards the path, and Iain nodded, breaking into a jog towards them. He turned back to Skye. ‘You go on and celebrate Bronwyn’s success. I need to run. My wolf needs to run.’
‘But I need you to help me talk her into opening her business again.’
‘I’m standing right here,’ Bronwyn grumbled.
He couldn’t help but smile as he looked over at her, hands on hips, eyes blazing with a fire it was a joy to see. ‘Bronwyn knows she needs to open her business. She doesn’t need me or you telling her to do it. Do you, Bronwyn?’
Bronwyn puffed out a little breath as if his words had popped her anger, deflating it. ‘No. I don’t.’
Skye spun on her. ‘Does this mean you’re going to go back to work tomorrow?’
Bronwyn shook her head, something like bemused wonder in her eyes. ‘I suppose it does.’ Her gaze flickered to River as Skye clapped her hands and hugged her again.
‘This is terrific, especially as I’ve already got a client waiting to see you.’
Bronwyn looked sideways at her. ‘Who?’
‘Me.’ Skye said. ‘My neck is killing me after poring over those diaries for almost twenty-four hours straight, and Shelley isn’t much better.’
‘You, Miss Skye “I don’t trust anything but western medicine” Collins are willing for me to do some reiki on you?’
‘Yep. And Shelley wants a healing session, too. And we both want a massage.’
‘Now you’re asking for too much.’
Skye smiled warmly at her. ‘So how about me for nine am and Shelley for ten?’
Bronwyn rolled her eyes, but laughed. That laughter was like a key undoing the lock that had held him there for the last few minutes. Smiling at both of them, he said, ‘Now that that’s all settled, I’m going for my run. Have a sparkling for me.’ And turning before they could say anything else to hold him there, he took off, his feet pounding on the dirt path, the fire in his blood pumping through his heart, making him realise that no matter how far or fast he ran, there were some things he couldn’t run away from because he carried them with him. But he was determined one of those things would not be Bronwyn’s heart or her soul.
***
Bronwyn watched River as he ran from her once again. He’d tried to make it seem like he wasn’t running away from her, but she knew he was. Something had happened between them before, but she wasn’t quite certain what. Skye had interrupted before she could sort meaning from the mire of her own emotions. She shook her head. If River thought he could run from her and that would be an end to it, he didn’t know her very well. She wasn’t leaving him alone to bury his feelings—whatever they were. He’d said she had to face up to the changes in her powers and accept them. But that wasn’t the only thing she had to face up to.
She’d hurt him. She knew it even though he’d denied it. But denying it didn’t make it less true. And hiding from it wasn’t going to help her figure out why. And the fact that he’d encouraged her to heal Tom, that he’d known she could, that he’d made her see she was foolish for not following the needs of her heart and soul and opening her business again, just made her even more determined to figure out what was happening between them, why she’d hurt him and what the fuck those heated flashes of desire were about. They’d been about to kiss again when Skye had interrupted them. She was sure of it. And oh, Goddess, she wished it had happened.
‘Bron? Are you okay?’
She snapped around to face her friend. Skye’s gaze was probing and Bron looked away, trying to suppress the burn in her cheeks and the shot of desire that had punched into her at the memory of River’s lips on hers. ‘I’m fine. Just a bit overwhelmed.’
Skye’s gaze darted from her to River as he disappeared over a rise, Iain a few paces behind. ‘And you’re worried about River.’
Bron nodded, happy to let Skye think that was all it was. ‘He wants me to heal, but he doesn’t think I can heal him. It’s almost like he doesn’t want me to.’
Skye gripped her arm and pulled her around to face her, eyes blazing. ‘You mustn’t give up on him. Please. Jason told me if we can’t find a way to free River’s wolf, terrible things can happen. Locked-down wolves … they go insane. Turn rabid. Try to kill their loved ones. I can’t lose him to that. I can’t.’
Bron stilled, breath caught in her throat at the thought of that happening to River. ‘I won’t give up on him. I promise.’
‘Thank you,’ Skye said, her eyes glistening. ‘I know you’ll be able to figure it out.’
Bron shook her head. ‘Why do you have so much faith in me?’
‘Because I know you. Because you canted the spell that allowed you to share in my powers to save my life and bring balance to the pack. You did this before you even got these powers. You were already strong in magic. Shelley and I have always known it, but for some reason, you never did.’
‘You knew it?’
Skye nodded, blushing. ‘Why do you think I was always so nervous whenever you threatened to use some healing on me? I felt the power you had inside, even though I tried to ignore its existence because I so desperately needed you to be my friend. You don’t need my power to be strong. You already were. My power is just a boost. Blended with yours, you will be able to do remarkable things.’
Bron was flabbergasted. She’d had no idea Skye had ever felt any of that. But she couldn’t deny it was true. Sensing powers in others was something Skye could do. She’d always thought it was part of the spell her grandparents had woven around her, but it wasn’t. It was a part of her powers and she was just starting to accept it and learn to use it, not out of fear, but to help the pack.
Skye laughed at the expression on Bron’s face and slung her arm around her shoulders, giving her a squeeze. ‘Aside from all that, I got you into this and I’m not going to let you suffer alone, or let you give up on yourself or River.’
A tear trembled down Skye’s cheek as she looked up at the moon rising in the sky. Bron slung her arm around her friend’s shoulder and squeezed back. She had less than two weeks to try to figure out how to help River. She couldn’t give up now. ‘I’ll try my best.’
‘I always knew you would.’ She hooked her arm around Bron’s and started walking back up the path towards the packhouse. ‘Now, let’s go and celebrate your success with Tom.’
‘Okay. But I’ll o
nly be able to have a quick drink. If I’m opening tomorrow, I have a stack of things to do. I have to call Helen—I’ll need her to come in. We’ll have to call everyone who was waiting for appointments. And I’ll have to look at my stocks and see what I need. I’ll need more if the bookings pick up quickly.’
Skye beamed at her. ‘That’s my girl. Straight back into the nitty gritty.’ She sighed and nudged her shoulder against Bron’s as they walked in the back gate. ‘Everything’s going to be okay.’
Bron nodded. Yes, everything was going to be okay, because she’d make it that way.
Chapter 9
Bron opened the shop the next day. Her clients rushed to make appointments, not even minding Bluebelle’s presence when she pushed into the room and jumped up onto a shelf to watch what Bron was doing. It made Bron smile and feel easier. Bluebelle would warn her if something was going awry just as she had before.
She started off with easy stuff—massage, reiki, a few naturopathy sessions where she diagnosed irritable bowel syndrome, an allergy to yeast and a urinary tract infection. She was able to treat them with tonics and tablets already prepared, suggesting dietary changes and rest. The rest of the first week continued on in the same way and she would have been happy except …
River was avoiding her and the next full moon was coming ever closer. Oh, Goddess. She’d promised Skye, promised herself, and yet she’d not been able to do anything because he wouldn’t see her. And the three-day cycle that will turn River into the Beast begins tomorrow. She felt the press of it in a way she’d never felt the moon’s passage before. She wondered if this was because she was now tied to the pack and she was feeling it through them, or if it was just because of her concern for River. River, who she should be healing. River, who she dreamed about every night. River, whose lips had searched for hers in the foggy moments after sleep and had made her feel more alive than she’d felt in years.
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