Bronwyn.
His every sense became riveted on the sounds of her arrival. The crunch of tires on gravel. The squeak of the break. The pop of the engine as it cut off. The click and swish of the seatbelt being released. The clunk of the door being opened and closed, the slap of sandalled feet on the stones of the drive. A light tread moving towards him, a voice calling out to Patrick, asking him to stay by the car, the sweet scent of her as she turned the corner and made her way down the path towards him.
He was aware of all of it, the tension of her presence thrumming through him like the sweetest harmony; a harmony with a discordant note at the end.
He should have known she would come after him. She was stubborn, his Bronwyn. Why did she have to be so stubborn?
He bent to his task, trying to ignore it, to ignore her as she walked over the grass behind him. She’d changed from her uniform; the soft swish of the skirt she now wore brushed against the plants she passed, tangling around her legs. His mouth watered. The scent of the flowers and herbs she used in her work enticed his senses, lingering, caressing. He held back a groan as his cock sprang to life, straining painfully against the denim of his jeans, just like it had earlier in the day when she’d been running that damn oil over his chest. Sweat broke out on his brow as he clenched his muscles against the rush of desire that fired his veins.
He had to get control of himself before he turned around. He couldn’t let her know he was so aware of her. Couldn’t let her know she was welcome in a way not even his sister would be. She needed to think he wished her far away.
His hands shook as he grabbed the mulch in the bin and pushed down. More sweat broke out on his skin that had nothing to do with the sun beating on his back or the physical nature of the work he was doing. His muscles screeched with the effort of not turning around to face her, to grab her, to run his hands over her body, enjoying every single petite yet curvy inch of her. To press his hungering lips against hers and drown in the taste and texture of her mouth, the sweet yet spicy scent of her skin.
He wanted.
He couldn’t have.
Gritting his teeth so hard his jaw popped, he gave no outward sign that he knew she was there, even though she must know he could hear her, smell her. He hoped she’d think him rude and get peeved, turn around, walk away, forget about him. There was nothing she could do for him and her presence just made everything so much harder because …
He wanted.
‘River.’
He swallowed hard past the gravel in his throat. ‘What?’
Undeterred by his rudeness, she stepped closer. ‘I’ve been thinking about what happened today.’
‘I’m not going to let you heal me.’
‘I’m not talking about that. Well, I am.’ She swallowed hard. He could smell her nervousness. ‘But I need to clear the air about what happened before my power surged before I get into that discussion.’
By the Moon—why did she have to bring that up now? ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. Nothing happened.’
She moved a step closer so that he could feel her warmth brush over him. He squeezed his eyes closed and bent over the bin of mulch, trying to fill his nose and mouth with the wet, musky scent of bark and leaves. It didn’t work. He could still smell her.
‘River. Talk to me.’
‘I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone,’ he snarled, moving away to grab the rake from the ground and drag it across the earth he was about to mulch.
‘River, I’m confused.’ She paused, waiting for him to speak, but he wouldn’t. If he opened his mouth, he’d say far more than he ever meant for her to know. ‘River. I know I shouldn’t have touched you like that, but I think your reaction is a little extreme.’
‘It’s not extreme at all.’
‘I think it is. I think you’re using my taking on the pain as an excuse to cover up your embarrassment about what happened earlier. And believe, me, I get it. I’m embarrassed too—and I have more right to be than you. It was my fault. But you shouldn’t stop our sessions because of it.’
‘I’m not embarrassed.’
‘If that’s true, you’ll agree to continue our sessions.’
He threw the rake down and turned to face her. The sight of her always squeezed his chest, made fire race through his veins. This time was no exception. He wanted to drag her to him and never let go, but he couldn’t. And he was so angry at her for making him feel this way. ‘Fuck! Why are you pushing me on this?’
She didn’t flinch or step back from him despite his aggression. Instead, she met his gaze, a small frown marring her smooth brow. ‘Because you need me to. Because I affect the Darkness in you and I think that’s important. Because I feel your pain and I want to help you.’
‘You’re mistaken.’ He swung away, unable to bear that warm look of concern in her cinnamon eyes. Kicking the rake out of his way, he stomped over to the bin and reached to pull out the mulch.
‘I’m never mistaken about people being in pain. Especially people I care about.’
He sucked in a breath, her words slicing into his heart. ‘Don’t care about me, Bronwyn. I’m not worth it.’
‘You will always be worth it.’
His fingers clenched in the mulch.
‘River?’
He let the mulch fall back into the bin. ‘Please, go.’
‘No.’
He growled.
‘River. Let me in.’ She touched his back.
He stilled, the growl catching in his throat, turning into a low hum. His wolf came out of its hiding place deep inside him and rolled over, delighting in the cool feel of her hand on his too-hot flesh. He delighted in it too, but it wasn’t enough. Never enough. He longed to have her hands stroke over him, petting and caressing until his memory of any other touch but hers faded from existence. He wanted, more than he wanted his next breath, to tear her sundress from her body and press against her, equally naked, and revel in the soft silk of her skin against the hard length of his. He longed to carry her down to the soft warmth of the fragrant carpet of grass behind them, her arms and legs wrapped around him as he buried himself deep inside her, his lips on hers, on her throat, her breasts, surrounding himself in her scent and her taste, her heat and her softness, until there was nothing else.
Just him and her.
Combined.
One.
His cock flexed, pressing even more painfully against the hard denim. His balls tingled, tensed. His wolf howled inside him, lunging, begging him to act on the image screaming loud and clear in his mind. For a long moment he trembled, trying to fight what instinct pushed him to do.
He lost. He turned to her, a growl low in his throat, hands reaching to pull her against him. Hands covered in dirt and mulch. He froze. He couldn’t touch her and cover her in his filth. He tore himself away and came to a halt at the edge of the grass, half a dozen metres from her.
‘River?’
He heard the worry in her voice, the quiver of fear as she met his gaze. He closed his eyes. Fuck it! He didn’t want to hurt her, but if she didn’t leave now, he was afraid he’d do just that. ‘Go away.’
‘No. You need me.’
His eyes snapped open. ‘No. I don’t.’
‘Yes, you do. And I need to help you.’
Fuck! Why did she have to say that? He could deny himself, deny his needs, but he couldn’t deny hers.
‘River.’ She took a step towards him.
A growl snarled out of him. ‘Don’t you try to heal me, Bronwyn. I don’t want you taking on my darkness, my pain.’
She froze. ‘River, I … I should never have told you that. You took it the wrong way. It’s not as bad as it sounds.’
‘I think it is.’
‘But you don’t understand. It hurts me more not to heal. I didn’t realise how much until I tried to stop after Samhain. I thought I wasn’t able … I thought I was weak. But I’m starting to understand that I’m not. I’m strong. But if I’m to get stronger,
I need you to let me help you. Please let me help.’
Oh, God! He was making her beg. His beautiful, strong, determined, stubborn, free and joyful Bronwyn shouldn’t beg. He wanted to look at her, to give in, to say ‘of course you can try to heal me’. But he couldn’t. He shook his head. There was too much inside him. He hadn’t found enough peace. He wasn’t ready for all this emotion. Not yet. If only she’d come a few hours later when he’d had time to calm himself properly. But she hadn’t. Gritting his teeth, he looked at her, looked away. ‘Sorry, I … I’m too close to the edge.’
‘I know. I can feel it in you.’ She narrowed her eyes, taking a step closer. ‘I can see the Darkness clawing at you.’
‘Don’t!’ He held up his filthy hand, the hand he’d almost touched her with. ‘I might hurt you.’
‘I don’t believe that.’ But she stopped where she was. ‘You don’t want to hurt me.’
‘Of course I don’t want to hurt you. I never want to hurt you. Ever. But I might not have a choice.’
‘The Beast? It’s prowling there, I can feel it, but you’ve still got control, so it’s not the real problem. It’s the Darkness. I have a feeling about the Darkness, about how it responds to me.’ She reached out to touch his raised hand.
‘No. Don’t.’
‘River. What is it?’
‘You don’t understand.’
‘Then explain it to me.’ She stepped closer.
It was one step too far. ‘You can’t touch me, because if you do, I won’t be able to stop myself.’
‘Stop yourself from what?’
‘From stripping that dress from you, laying you down on that grass and fucking you until you come, screaming my name.’
Chapter 16
Silence snapped between them as Bron’s mouth dropped open and she trembled to a halt. ‘Oh,’ she said on a sucked-in breath.
‘Shit. I didn’t mean … I just … Fuck.’ He turned and raced away too fast for her to have a chance of catching up.
‘Oh,’ Bron said on another breath as she tried to take stock of what had just happened. River wanted to fuck her until she came screaming his name. Tingling, trembling warmth raced through her, centring in a pulse low in her stomach. The muscles at her core clenched tight. She pressed her hand low, astonished at the sudden rush of damp in her panties.
River.
The thoughts she’d been having about him, the thoughts she’d been telling herself were wrong and false and stupid crashed through her. Oh, Goddess. Were her knees actually trembling? Had the air suddenly got thicker, hotter? She needed to sit down. But there was nowhere nearby. She plopped down on the grass, mind spinning.
How had this happened? How had he crawled under her skin and into her heart so quickly, so easily? He was nothing like the man she’d dreamed of ever since she was a little girl. That dream man had never threatened her sense of self like River did. Aside from that, everything about him went against every type of man she’d ever allowed herself to get involved with—his brooding nature and those scars on his face that spoke of terrible pain endured with brave stoicism, while a massive turn-on for most women, were exactly the thing she usually avoided because of her healing nature. But this went far deeper than her empathy, than a need to fix, to heal. She shook her head, trying to rid herself of the impact of those words, the image of him tearing off her dress, his mouth hot on hers making her feel wild and treasured at the same time as he bore her down to the soft grass and thrust into her.
‘Oh!’ She pressed her palm hard down on her pelvic bone, trying to stop the building wave of orgasm her thoughts had almost brought on. She’d always enjoyed sex; had always been willing to give and take and explore, but never once had she been brought to the point of orgasm by a couple of growled words and a few intense images. Only River had brought her to that point. And given that response, she knew he could easily do it again. Her erotic dreams of the last few weeks with him featuring had nothing on this.
‘Fucking hell,’ she moaned. How had this happened? She was always in charge sexually, never allowing anyone to give or take more than she was willing. How had River got past those defences? How had her control slipped to the point where she didn’t have any? She had no idea. She just wished he hadn’t run from her. He might want to fuck her, but his reaction after he said that told her just as clearly that he didn’t want to want that. Blowing out a long, shaky breath, she whispered to the air, ‘What do I do now?’
‘Look to your roots. Use everything at your command.’
The voice rang in her head. ‘What do you mean?’
‘You already know.’
She shook her head. She didn’t already know. If she did, she wouldn’t have just cocked up right royally with River when she needed to win him back. She would have been able to hold back her powers and not channel them into him earlier. She would have truly been able to help him when she’d touched him with her grandma’s magically infused oil the only barrier between them.
Oh. My. God.
That was it! She had seen it. Thought it earlier, then cast it aside, not once, but twice, not fully understanding the significance of what it had been.
The Darkness hadn’t responded violently to her grandma’s magic, had shied away from it, because it didn’t know what it was. ‘Look to my roots, indeed.’
She pushed up from the grass, brushing her skirt down, trying to still the trembling of her fingers and put on a face of calm she was in no way close to feeling. She was excited, but she didn’t want to give false hope to anyone, let alone herself. But she had a clue now. She had to follow old avenues. The family grimoires. She’d mentioned them before but hadn’t really thought they’d be of use, because she’d thought of them as lesser. She thought of her original power as lesser. But what if they weren’t? What if the answer was truly in what she had always been?
If the avenues she’d pursued so far hadn’t worked, then there were other things she could try. It was time she stopped ignoring the ancient avenues of magic tied to her family and use them.
Walking swiftly, she returned to the car.
Patrick stepped out of the trees as she came around the corner of the house. ‘Are you okay?’ he asked, his chocolate eyes filled with concern as she walked towards him.
She touched his cheek, noting the impact of that touch light up his aura. ‘I’m fine. I’m just angry with myself. I upset River.’
Patrick nodded and opened her car door. ‘I saw him race out of here faster than he should.’
‘Iain is following him?’
‘We thought it best. He’s fastest of the lieutenants and will be able to catch up and get River to slow down, and if he won’t slow down, he’s better able to throw his cloak around River as he runs beside him and use its influence to force River back to pack land.’
‘Good thinking.’
Patrick’s mouth quirked up on one side. ‘That’s what they pay me the big bucks for. And the fact I’m kind of pretty.’
Bron couldn’t help but laugh, the warm bubble of sound breaking through the tension that had been riding her body for weeks. Patrick’s low chuckle joined hers, his face breaking into an open smile that warmed her from within. ‘Thank you for that, Patrick. I needed a good laugh.’
He pouted. ‘Are you saying I’m not pretty?’
Laughter bubbled out of her as she reached up and pulled his head down for a quick kiss. ‘You send all of woman-kinds’ hearts aflutter with those big, long lashed eyes, and you know it. You don’t need me stroking your ego further.’
‘Yeah, but it’s extra nice when you do it.’
‘Flatterer.’
‘Milady,’ he said with a wide sweep, gesturing towards the driver’s seat. ‘Your carriage awaits.’
Still chuckling, she hopped into her car, the heat inside enfolding around her like an oppressive blanket. She normally enjoyed that heat, the promise of summer and long lazy days, but right now it just made her skin itch. Shifting uncomfortably on her hot se
at, she said, ‘Are you coming with me?’
He closed the door with a gentle push and then leaned on the open window. ‘I wish. Jason’s called me away. I’ve got all that energy from the power you pushed into me still surging through me. Jason wants me to run some drills with some of the youngsters. But Gareth is here. He’ll shadow you for the rest of the day.’
‘Gareth?’
‘Oh, I forgot you haven’t met him yet. He’s come down from the pack lands. He’s my cousin. You’ll like him.’
‘Why do you say that?’
‘Well, he’s not quite as good looking as me, but he knows his way around a joke and has a special talent you’ll appreciate.’
She glanced up at him, about to come back with a quip like she usually would, but saw the faded shadow of the daylight moon behind his shoulder high in the sky. It was three-quarters full. She knew the full moon was drawing nearer, but somehow, the reality of that hadn’t fully impacted on her. But seeing that three-quarter shadow in the sky, she was suddenly filled with an urgency that had only been a whisper before in comparison. The witty words she’d been about to say died in her throat and all she said was, ‘That sounds interesting.’
‘Is that all you’ve got for me today?’
‘I’m sorry … It’s just, I need to go.’ She tore her gaze from the shadow moon and started the car. ‘Is Gareth ready?’
‘Ready and raring.’ He gestured behind him and she saw a young man step out of the shadows of the front portico, his sandy hair spiked up, eyes eager. He gave a little wave and then rainbow light surrounded him and a moment later, a large, sandy wolf stood there.
Patrick tapped the roof of the car. ‘Right to go.’
‘Great. I’ll see you later.’
‘You sure will, gorgeous,’ he said, the cheeky smile full blown on his face. But this time, it didn’t make her smile. She put the car in gear and took off, her mind full of River, the need to find something helpful in the grimoires made even more urgent by the sight of the faded shadow moon, three-quarters full in the sky.
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