Unfortunately, I cry out too, flinching in my seat as I yank out my earbuds and close the file again. I stand, backing away from the computer, nearly stumbling enough to fall on my ass. I’m lucky my chair rolled back a few inches and stopped me from tripping. I’m wearing black pumps and a black pencil skirt. I would be a hot mess if I fell and ended up sprawled on the floor.
I spin around and glance at the door. No one has seen my antics. I’m in Beck’s office. He’s out doing a shoot. I’ve been using the round white conference table in the corner of his office as a work space.
I need to step away for a moment. Think. So, I head to the bathroom. It’s at the end of the hallway. I’ll have to pass Levi’s office, but me using the bathroom isn’t weird. He won’t even notice most likely.
It takes all my concentration to focus on walking normally. One foot in front of the other. I glance at Levi as I pass his office, but he’s deep in thought, his gaze narrowed on his screen. As soon as I’m ensconced in the restroom, I take a deep breath. Jesus, my reflection in the mirror is awful. My cheeks are bright red and I realize I must have been biting into my lower lip because there are teeth marks.
Shit.
I turn on the water, wash my hands, and grab a paper towel. Even blotting my cheeks does nothing. What the heck am I supposed to do? Shouldn’t I tell Levi? Obviously, the file didn’t come from this office. They don’t shoot porn here, and I don’t recognize the setting. But how did it get there?
A thought occurs to me. Maybe one of the guys watches porn, and they have it on their computer, and someone accidently moved the file to my folder as if it were part of the wedding. It would have to be Levi. I think he’s the only one who worked on organizing this folder for me. Maybe Levi enjoys porn on the side. Maybe he had it on his desktop and dragged it into my folder by accident. Shit.
I could just delete it and say nothing.
I chew on my bottom lip again. What a disaster. I’ve been here one week. I don’t want to make this kind of decision. And I’m not prepared to yet either. I’ll just go back to my desk and continue editing the rest of the files. Buy myself some time. Think about what to do. Make a decision later.
As I pass by Levi’s office again, he’s still hard at work. I continue, grateful I haven’t had to make small talk in my flustered state. Back at my table, I click on the next file and resume my job, editing the cake cutting. I can’t concentrate, so I keep having to start over.
I’ve practically gnawed my lip off too. It’s swollen and sore. The strange file still looms in the same spot, taunting me. My curiosity is rampant. I need to see more. It’s not my fault someone accidentally stuck porn in my folder.
I take out one earbud and hear nothing in the office, and then I stuff it back in and open the file again. The man leans down and whispers something in the woman’s ear while still gripping her nipple. I can’t see his face. The camera is zoomed in close to the woman’s face. When he’s standing, I can only see him from waist down. When he leans forward, his face is masked by hers.
She nods. “Yes, Sir.”
My gaze is locked on her nipple, my fingers coming to my own breast and gripping it as if I too am experiencing the pain. I’ve never watched porn before. I’m shocked. I also can’t take my eyes off the screen.
I hold my breath as the man releases her nipple, making her gasp and sway forward a bit. She has her hands behind her back. As the man steps behind her, I’m graced with a full-frontal view of her. Her skin is pale, which makes the fingerprints of the man stand out on her breast. Her nipple is stiff and swollen.
My gaze travels down to her sex, and I swallow as I find she has shaved herself bare. I know lots of women shave down there, but I’ve never actually seen it before.
The man sets a hand between her shoulder blades, and for the first time, I hear him speak. “Hands and knees, kitten.”
Her hands come from behind her back and she leans forward to plant them on the floor. “Yes, Sir.” Her ponytail falls over one shoulder. Her butt is higher than the rest of her because the pillow is elevating it. The camera moves with her, keeping her centered in the shot.
“Knees wider.”
“Yes, Sir.” She obediently spreads her legs farther. Her breasts hang in front of her, swaying with every movement.
My mouth is dry. I’m not sure when I last breathed. I can’t move. I can’t stop myself from continuing to watch. I’m only vaguely aware that I might get caught. It’s not enough to stop me.
The man is wearing jeans that hang low on his hips. I can see a few inches of his torso, enough to confirm he doesn’t have a shirt on. His feet are also bare. Apparently, he didn’t want to be in the video, or maybe he wasn’t being paid for this film. I’d like to see his face though.
The man walks away, leaving the woman on all fours. I can’t take my eyes off her. She slowly fists her hands and curls her toes under. She’s nervous. So am I. For whatever is about to happen to her. Or maybe just for myself.
When the man returns to the screen, he has something in his hand. It reminds me of a pom-pom like the kind high school cheerleaders have. Except it’s not shiny. It’s black.
I gasp when I realize it’s made of leather. It’s not a pom-pom at all. It’s one of those things used to hit people. I can’t think of what they’re called, but I know this man is about to strike the naked woman.
A flogger? Yep, that’s it.
Instead of striking her with it, however, he drags it down her back from her neck to her butt. She shivers, another moan escaping her.
“Stay still, little one,” he murmurs. His voice is low and commanding but oddly polite at the same time. He dances the dozens of ends of the flogger up her back and over her shoulders.
Her back dips as she arches her head higher.
“Eyes to the floor,” he encourages. “If you can’t stay in position, I’ll strap you to the bench instead.”
She jerks her face back toward the floor.
I can’t breathe. I shouldn’t be watching this. I should turn it off. I should go tell Levi. I should not be turned on.
When he dangles the strips of leather over her shoulder, letting them sway back and forth to tease her breast, I let out a moan, and then I cover my mouth with my hand. Jesus. I’ve lost a few marbles. This is hot.
The man cups her face. “Are you wet, little one?”
“Yes, Sir.” Her voice is softer than his. She sways backward, pushing her butt out.
“This is your second warning,” he admonishes. “If you can’t remain still, I will move you to the bench and strap you down. I’d prefer to see you controlling the urge to move instead. A lesson. You need to exert some self-control.”
She stops swaying.
My eyes dart all over the screen. Her hands slowly fist tighter against the floor. Her head is lowered, but not enough to obscure her breasts. Her nipples are dark and prominent, the areolas large.
“Would you be more comfortable if I let you lower to your elbows, little one?”
“Yes, Sir.”
He chuckles, the sound making my breath catch. I feel like I’ve heard that voice before. It’s not possible, of course, but the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. “I bet you would. You’d enjoy letting your nipples drag across the cool hardwood, wouldn’t you?”
She whimpers and then whispers, “Yes, Sir.”
My breasts feel heavy, and I can almost sense my own nipples sliding over the floor at the suggestion. I cup both my breasts and squeeze. That does nothing to stifle my arousal. I am so turned on by this it’s unnerving.
The man rounds to the back of her. “I’m going to check your pussy so I’ll know how badly you need to come.”
She shudders, swaying slightly, obviously trying hard not to move.
My eyes nearly pop out of my head as the camera slowly swings around to her backside and lowers. When the man nudges her legs farther apart and then pulls her folds open, I can see everything. Every inch of her private parts. Since sh
e’s shaved completely bare, she has no protection from the camera.
I wonder if she’s some sort of slave being forced to perform like this or if she volunteers or maybe gets paid. Probably the latter. Duh.
Her sex is glistening. That’s how wet she is. How can she be so turned on under this man’s control, performing for the camera?
How the hell can I be just as aroused watching? My own sex is as wet as hers. I’m sure of it. I’m clenching my thighs so tightly together that I’m shaking.
When the man slowly drags a finger through her parted folds, she moans. I’m impressed by her ability to remain still. I have no idea what the bench he’s threatened her with might look like, but perhaps the threat of being strapped to it is enough of a deterrent.
The man presses a finger inside her. My God. It’s soaking wet when he pulls it back out, and then he lifts it upward. I still can’t see his face, but I hear the sounds that assure me he’s sucking her juices from his finger.
“Mmm. My sweet girl is very needy today. If you can stay still for me, I’ll let you come after I pinken your bottom.”
Jesus.
I’m breathing heavily as he rises to his full height, dangling that flogger over her butt cheeks. I suck in a sharp breath and hold it when he lifts the dancing leather strips and then gracefully slaps them against her butt.
Instead of crying or jerking out of the way, the woman moans as if she’s been given a gift. Mesmerizing. The camera pans back a bit, and raises to center her butt cheeks in the screen.
He does it again. And then again. Each strike is a bit harder, and he alternates, covering her entire butt and the backs of her thighs. He pauses, stroking his palm over her offended flesh. “Such a pretty pink. More?”
“Yes, Sir.” She speaks the words out loud. I think the same words in my head. I don’t want this to end. I’m strung so tight, I think I’m going to burst soon. I’ve never been this aroused in my life. I have the urge to spread my legs and press my fingers against my sex. My awareness down there is strong.
I’ve never understood the fascination with porn. Why would anyone watch it? What could possibly be the allure? I know nothing about this is technically wrong or illegal or anything—assuming she’s doing this voluntarily or for money—but I still have never fathomed the appeal.
I get it now. I purse my lips as the man dangles that flogger over her butt cheeks again and then continues swatting her with the leather strips. They look supple. Maybe it doesn’t hurt. Maybe it actually feels good. She sure seems to be enjoying it.
“Sir,” she calls out, gasping.
He stops. “What do you need, little one?”
“I need to come, Sir. Please let me come.” Her voice is stronger now.
I don’t blame her. I need to come too. That elusive something I’ve never understood before is wound up tight inside of me, begging to be set free. I’m gripping my thighs together so tightly that my muscles are straining. I squeeze my breasts and then pinch my nipples through my blouse and the lace of my bra, unable to stop myself.
The man drops the flogger, sets a hand on her lower back, and reaches between her legs. He hesitates, and I get the feeling he’s waiting for the camera to pan back around so it has a full view of her sex.
As soon as the view is zoomed in, he thrusts two fingers into her vagina. His thumb lands on her clit. She screams.
Unfortunately, so do I.
Chapter 9
Abby
The moment I cry out, I startle myself. My entire body is wound tight, but I release my breasts, yank out my earbuds, and nearly fall on my ass as I shove my chair backward and scramble to stand. The screen is still playing the video as I spin around to make sure no one heard me.
I stop breathing.
Shit.
This can’t be happening.
All the blood drains from my face.
Levi is leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed, one hand cupping his chin. His lips are pursed, his expression unreadable.
I take a step backward, bumping into the table, and then I spin around and slam the laptop closed. It’s the fastest way to get that video to stop. It’s far too late of course, but I have to do something.
My face is flaming hot. I’m sure it’s bright red. I’m shaking so badly I think I might faint. I’ve never been so mortified in my life. In addition, I’m still aroused. And I’m about to get fired. “Sir—”
I have no idea what the hell I was going to say next to explain myself, but it doesn’t matter because Levi cuts me off when he drops his hands to his sides, his shoulders falling, face dipping, and groans.
I’m so startled by that reaction that I can’t move. I lick my lips. I need to sit, but I don’t think I can make it the two steps it would take to get to the chair. And besides, it would be horribly rude to plant my ass down when I should be gathering my stuff and getting the hell out of here.
I need to say something. Anything. Explain myself. How am I going to do that? I can’t think of anything that would justify what I just did on company time.
Levi finally takes a deep breath, shoves off the doorframe, and shuffles into the room. He grabs the back of the chair that has rolled away from me and pushes it my direction. “Sit. Before you fall.”
I lower into it, grateful for this small kindness when I’m certain he’s going to reprimand me next. I pull my knees together to keep them from shaking, fold my hands in my lap, and lower my face. “I… That video… It was in the folder with the wedding stuff. I didn’t mean to…” Except I did. There’s nothing to say. I need to shut up before I really dig deeper.
Levi squats in front of me, bringing his head level with mine. His hands grip the arms of my chair. “It’s my fault. I’m so sorry. I must have dragged an extra video into the folder with the others.” He sighs.
I hold my breath.
“You must have about two hundred questions.”
I lift my gaze to his, confused, brows furrowed. “About what?” I shake my head. “I mean, no. No questions. It’s none of my business what you like to watch. I shouldn’t have opened it. I should have deleted it or come and told you or—”
He stops me again by setting a finger on my lips. Is he smiling? “Take a breath.”
I inhale deeply and blow it out.
“Good. Now, I didn’t mean that you would have questions about the video. I meant that you are probably wondering why I have it.”
I shake my head again. “No. I’m not a prude or anything. I know men watch that sort of thing.”
His smile grows and a brow lifts. “Men?”
My face flushes deeper, and I bite my lower lip.
“You just watched twenty minutes of it, mesmerized. I don’t think it’s fair to say that only men enjoy visual stimulation.”
I’m mortified beyond belief. He’s right. “How long were you watching me?” I glance at the door.
“A while.” He doesn’t move.
I can feel his gaze still on me as I shift to look at him again. Finally, I lift a hand and cover my face. I think I’m going to cry. How humiliating. My boss just watched me nearly orgasm in my chair while I watched his personal stash. I need the earth to open up and swallow me whole. Now.
“I know you’re embarrassed, but—”
I cut him off this time, dropping my hand and lifting my face. “You think? Embarrassed doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel right now. I love working for you. This was supposed to be the best summer of my life. And now I’ve ruined it because my damn curiosity took over my better judgement.”
His brows draw together again. “You haven’t ruined anything, Abby. What are you talking about? I’m not mad at you. You’re not in trouble.”
My lip is quivering. I’m totally going to cry.
Levi reaches for my face, cups my chin, and strokes his thumb over my bottom lip. “Jesus, Abby, it’s okay. It was totally my fault. I had no intention of exposing you to that side of the business while you were here. I’m the one wh
o should be kicking myself. Not you. You’ve done nothing wrong.”
I flinch, my tongue accidentally touching his thumb as I lick my lips without thinking. “That side of what business?” My eyes widen as realization dawns. “You shoot porn here too?” My heart rate picks up. I think my heart is going to beat out of my chest. I lean back and fist my hands together in my lap.
Levi sighs heavily. Finally, he stands and leans his butt against the edge of the table behind him, putting about a foot of space between my knees and his. He runs a hand down his face and then meets my gaze again. “We don’t refer to it as porn. And no, we don’t shoot it here.”
I lower my gaze to take in the edge of the computer. I hadn’t been able to tell where the video was shot, but it never for a second occurred to me that it might have been taken by Levi or Beck. I just assumed it was something one of them downloaded for their own personal pleasure. Something I had no business seeing.
Levi blows out a long breath and shoves off the desk. “Come on.”
“Where are we going?” I ask, heart still racing as he heads for the door.
“Home.”
I swallow. What? Why?
When he reaches the door, he grabs the frame and turns to face me again. “The studio where we shoot fetish videos is in the house.” He leaves Beck’s office, continuing to talk over his shoulder. “It’s too late to keep it from you now. Your curiosity would eat you alive.”
I don’t move. I’d rather he kept whatever it is from me. I’d rather be eaten alive by curiosity or even cockroaches than find out what he’s going to show me at home.
I’m still sitting in the chair, gripping the arms now, when Levi returns. He has his laptop bag over his shoulder. He smiles at me from the doorway, shoulders sagging. “I’ve really fucked with your head, haven’t I?”
I nod slowly. Now I have the million questions he inferred I would have. But now I really don’t want or need the answers. “Can we just forget it happened?”
He sags against the doorframe. “No. You can’t unsee that.”
I never should have seen it in the first place.
Teaching Abby (Surrender Book 2) Page 4