The salty flavor is welcome. It always makes me feel powerful.
I’m still swallowing when Levi’s fingers land on my clit.
I gasp and release Julius’s length from my mouth as my own climax nears. I hadn’t realized I was so close to another orgasm, but I’m still full of both men, my pussy and my tight hole filled. I rock forward, setting my forehead against Julius’s belly.
I whimper, my legs shaking, my pussy clenching. And then I’m there, falling, gliding downward. I squeeze my eyes shut to savor every moment, committing this feeling to memory. I don’t know how many times we might repeat this scene, or if we ever will at all, so I don’t want to forget. Ever.
Chapter 40
Master Julius
I’m sitting on the edge of one of the armchairs in the library, elbows on my knees, forehead against my palms.
Levi and Beck are similarly slumped on the other armchair and the sofa.
It takes me several minutes to gather the energy to lift my face. We caught our precious submissive in the air before she had a chance to pass out and collapse onto Levi. I rolled her onto her side on the bed and tucked her in. We’ve learned that for Abby, this is her way of recovering from subspace. She sleeps it off. It doesn’t freak us out anymore.
That was ten minutes ago. We dressed and made our way to the library without speaking. There’s a thickness in the air around us. It’s up to me to break it. “You two need to talk.” This is how I choose to open our dialogue? I don’t know why, but both my friends frown at me.
“We need to talk?” Levi asks, glancing at Beck.
“What the fuck does that mean?” Beck asks, sitting up straighter.
“It means I’ve been watching you. You’ve both fallen for her. You need to figure out a game plan, and you need to discuss it with her.” Words are tumbling from my mouth. I’m not sorry, but I’m surprised at how articulate I’m able to be.
I don’t have a choice. I need to separate myself from this situation. Take myself out of the equation. Step back. No more sex. No more blowjobs. That was it for me. I’m in too deep. I can’t afford to let myself get emotionally attached. I’m already losing sleep on the nights I’m even alone.
When I’m with her, I get almost no sleep at all. I stare at her most of the night. It’s out of character for me. I have to stop it. Get a grip.
Beck stands. He’s shaking his head. “No. Fuck no. Don’t you dare act like you haven’t fallen as hard for her as we have.”
“He’s right,” Levi adds, leaning back in his chair before also coming to his feet. “That’s a cop-out.”
I sigh and run a hand down my face. “You’re right. I have fallen for her. That’s why I’m bowing out. Now. I shouldn’t have let it go this far. I don’t want a committed woman in my life. Ever. I should have seen this coming. You two have to take the reins and figure out what the next step is.”
“Nope.” Beck’s shaking his head. “It doesn’t work that way. You don’t get to emotionally detach yourself and pretend you don’t care. You don’t get to put the burden of telling Abby on us either. Man up. Man up to yourself, to us, and to Abby. You care about her. Tell her. You’ve been fucking running this show for weeks. She’s your gal. Not ours. You fucking figure it out.”
I jerk back, startled. My eyes go wide. “I’m not running anything,” I lie to them and myself.
Levi laughs sardonically. “Like hell you aren’t. Beck is right. I’m not saying I’ve been disappointed. It worked for all of us. It’s not a dynamic we’ve ever had before, but it worked.”
I jump to my feet, hands on my hips, prepared to fight an unnecessary, stubborn battle with my best friends. I’ve known for weeks this was going to tear into us. And I was right. My voice is raised when I speak. “If it seemed like I took control of things, it was only because I was working my ass off to keep a balance between you two. You’ve both been googly-eyed over Abby from the moment she got here. And she looks at you the same way. I’ve tried my damndest to keep things even, ensure you both had equal time with her, give you the space to figure shit out.”
Now Beck laughs in the same mirthless mocking tone Levi used. “Well aren’t you just the consummate martyr. How gracious of you to guide everyone like a puppet master so that you could avoid spending too much time with her and keep from facing your own feelings.”
I spin around and take several steps away from them to pace the room. On my way back, I glance back and forth at both of them. “Fuck.”
“Yeah.” Levi rolls his eyes.
“Pretty much,” Beck adds, voice lowered.
“I don’t want to fight with you two.” I blow out a breath and drop my shoulders. “I can’t face this. I’m not cut out to care about someone again. I won’t do it. Please. Do what you have to do. I won’t blame either of you if you take her and move on with your lives.”
“It’s not as if that’s even an option on the table anyway,” Beck points out. “She’s leaving for law school in a month. She hasn’t once insinuated otherwise.”
Levi sighs. “Besides, I would never in my life let her give up her dream no matter how much I wanted her. It would be selfish. I wouldn’t even consider asking her to stay here.” He looks toward Beck who is nodding. “Neither of us would. I know there is tension, but I keep reminding myself she doesn’t belong to any of us. This isn’t a contest. If it were, we would all lose. There will never be a winner here. Abby is going to school clear across the country in the fall. Period.”
I take a deep breath. “You can’t tell me neither of you has considered other options. I certainly have.”
Beck flinches. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, why don’t you open a second location of Vanguard Media Specialists in Massachusetts?”
They both stare at me.
Finally, Beck speaks. “There are so many problems with that idea I don’t have enough fingers to list them off.”
“Starting with the fact that Abby hasn’t asked anyone to do that,” Levi adds.
“Besides, who would go and who would stay?” Beck asks. “Shall we flip a coin?” He sets his hands on his hips.
Levi ignores the rhetorical question. “She won’t even let us film her face because she’s worried about anyone finding out about her summer fling. She would never in a million years let this extend past August. How would she explain our arrangement to her grandfather? She couldn’t. And as much as I’m certain she’s torn, and it’s going to hurt when she leaves, I also know she’ll resume her regularly scheduled life and move on. This is too far out of character for her to be life changing.”
My turn to chuckle sardonically. “You think someone might need to ask her that instead of deciding for her?” I’m so frustrated I’m close to punching a hole in the wall. My hands are balled into fists at my hips. I never wanted this to happen. Why the fuck did I let my damn heart get involved?
“Levi’s right,” Beck tells me. “I get that he and I have let this thing get out of hand, but I also know the reason we haven’t spoken about it is because we both know in the end it doesn’t matter. Abby Wise is not some random woman we met at a club. She has name recognition. She can’t just throw her life away for any of the options we could possibly offer. Not in a million years would she be able to carry on a relationship with multiple men. There wouldn’t be any way to hide it. And let’s just say for argument’s sake that she was secretly, totally into just one of us. She could no more return to Cambridge with one forty-three-year-old man than two of them. Her grandfather would be appalled. We’re nearly twice her age. All of us. The scandal would be too much for her.”
I roll my eyes. “Don’t give me that bullshit. This is the twenty-first century. Women date older men all the time. We’re not eighty. We’re forty-three.”
Levi lifts a brow. “So, you’d be perfectly comfortable facing her grandfather?”
I sigh. “No. But I’m not comfortable with any part of this arrangement. I’m bowing out. I’ll never be emoti
onally available for anyone.”
“You keep saying that, but I call bullshit.” Levi’s voice is level. “You don’t get to pick who you fall for. It just happens. You’re just as invested in Abby as we are.”
I shake my head. “Doesn’t matter because I’m not the best man for the job. I’m not capable. She deserves better. So, I suggest you two discuss a plan, confront her, and move forward. Consider opening a second location in Cambridge. You could even both go. You know enough people in the industry to hire others to maintain your business here. It would take no time for word to spread of your reputation behind the camera on the east coast.”
Beck groans. “Did you not listen to the list of all the reasons why it’s not feasible? Can you imagine Abby trying to go to law school while she kept two secret older men on the side? She’d be burning her candle at both ends and have a nervous breakdown.”
I inhale deeply. I hear him. I even get what he’s saying. But I’ve also seen the way Abby looks at both of them. They hang the moon for her. Yes, she probably looks at me the same way, but I’m not in contention for this role. There’s a chance she’d be willing to do the work to make something between them a reality. Where there’s a will and all.
I blow out my breath. “Talk to her.” With that, I leave the room. I can’t even go back to my bedroom because Abby is sleeping in there. I won’t be able to sleep in that room again for a long time anyway. It will remind me of her.
I head for my office, shut the door behind me, and lock it. I’ve never locked my office, but I’ve also never been so deeply into a woman that I had to turn her over to someone else just to save myself from me. Or two someone elses. It’s entirely possible that in one afternoon I’ve just lost everyone who is important to me.
It can’t be helped.
I’m not suitable for a permanent relationship with anyone. It’s why I keep everyone at arm’s length. I was burned and permanently scarred when Theresa left me. I will never ever take that kind of risk with my heart again.
Except it may be too late.
It’s possible I’m already permanently wrapped around Abby’s finger in a way that will hurt for the rest of my life.
Chapter 41
Abby
The house is quiet as I make my way downstairs. I wonder where everyone is. I haven’t spent more than a few minutes alone in weeks. Every time I wake up in the morning or from a nap, one of them is in my space. I haven’t bathed or showered alone once since we began this arrangement.
Until now. I woke up twenty minutes ago in Julius’s bed. A glance at the clock told me it was afternoon. I figure I slept about two hours. I made my way to the attached bathroom and showered without anyone entering. I also found a sheer nightie on the vanity, which I assumed I was intended to wear.
Now, I’m nervous as I reach the bottom of the stairs and listen for my masters’ voices. My body is deliciously sore from being well-fucked. I’m not sorry. Not even close. I wouldn’t trade this experience for the world.
In the back of my mind, I’m stressed about what the future holds for me, but I keep ignoring it. I have more than a month left in my internship. I can face my life-altering summer later.
As I pad down the hallway on bare feet, I smile. I’ve changed a lot in six weeks. I no longer worry as much about the fact that anyone I encounter will see every inch of my body. I’m used to being exposed. The way all three men stare at my curves makes it worth it.
I hear them finally, their voices coming from the library. I pause for a moment, making sure I don’t hear any extra voices I’m not familiar with. I may have reached a point where I can wander around this house exposing myself to my masters and their staff, but I have to draw the line at stepping into a room naked for others to see.
I decide only two voices are coming from the library—Beck’s and Levi’s, so I enter. I find them sitting on opposite ends of the sofa, casually, leaning back, legs crossed. They both spot me at the same time and stand. Their expressions are serious. Whatever they were discussing must have been intense.
“Sweetness,” Levi begins, reaching a hand out. “How was your nap?”
“Good, Sir. How do you always manage to wear me out like that?”
Beck gives me a wry grin. “Subdrop, angel. It’s how your mind copes with an intense scene.”
Levi takes my hand when I get close enough and pulls me against his chest. He tucks my head under his chin, buries his face in my damp hair, and inhales deeply. “God, I love your shampoo.”
I snuggle into his chest. God, I love the way he feels against me.
Beck slides in behind me and sets his hands on my hips. His lips come to my bare shoulder. “Your skin is so soft.”
I’m used to their sweet talking. They always make me feel like I’m the most important person who walked the Earth.
Levi leans back, cupping my cheeks. “You left your phone in here last night. It’s been buzzing on vibrate for a while. You should probably check it.”
I close my eyes and nod. I should. I haven’t spoken to my grandfather in several days. I’ve spoken to Sabine even less. I’ve kept all our conversations short, acting like I’m too busy while assuring her I’m having the greatest time of my life doing this internship. If I remain on the phone with her too long, she’ll figure out that I’m leaving out far too many details. And then she’ll hound me relentlessly. It doesn’t help that she knows darn good and well that I thought Levi and Beck were smokin’ hot, sexy men before I left Massachusetts. Every time we speak, she brings it up.
As if on cue, my phone buzzes yet again from the end table.
Beck releases my hips and leans over to grab it before reaching around to hand it to me.
Levi turns to lower himself onto the sofa, taking me with him, positioning me in his lap.
When I open my phone, I’m shocked to find dozens of texts and messages. All of them came in the last few hours. I stiffen as I scroll down, noticing most are from Sabine. What really catches my attention is that several are from Geraldine. None are from my grandfather.
I listen to a message from Geraldine first, holding the phone to my ear. “Honey, this is Geraldine. I need you to call me as soon as possible.” I don’t even bother to check any other messages or texts. Instead, I hit call back and wait for Geraldine to answer.
She does on the first ring. Her voice is off. “Abby?”
“Yes. It’s me. Is everything okay?”
“No. Honey. I’m so sorry. Your grandfather had a heart attack a few hours ago. He was at his office. His secretary called 911, and they did everything they could to revive him, but he didn’t make it.” She sobs.
My fingers start to shake, and I nearly drop the phone as I jump off Levi’s lap. “What? Geraldine. What?”
“I’m so sorry, honey. I hate that you had to find out over the phone from so far away.” She’s crying now. Her voice shakes.
I can’t process her words. My grandfather? He’s the strongest man I know. He’s supposed to live to be two hundred. He can’t die.
I shake my head as I drop to my knees. The phone slides out of my hand and hits the rug. Levi and Beck surround me in an instant. Beck grabs the phone from the floor and starts speaking. Levi wraps me in his arms and picks me up, cradling me against him.
I’m shaking. No. No no no no no. My grandfather is the only family I have. This can’t be happening.
Chapter 42
Master Levi
“Are you sure you’ve got everything?” I ask Julius as he zips up Abby’s suitcase.
“Yes, Dad,” he responds, mocking me as he glares at me. “I went through every drawer in the bedroom and the bathroom and cleared out the closet. This is everything.”
I glance at Abby. She’s curled on her side on the bed in her room. She hasn’t been in here since the first week she was with us. She looks so small and vulnerable. She hasn’t stopped shaking since we got the news.
Julius sits next to her and rubs her back for the tenth time. “B
aby, it’s time to go. Levi and Beck are going with you. They’ll take care of everything. I need you to be my good girl and stay strong for a few hours until they can get you home. Can you do that for me, baby?”
He’s leaning over her, his face close to hers. I know he hadn’t meant to see her again today. Not after what happened in the library between the three of us after we fucked her senseless. Julius had checked out. He’d gone to his office and locked the door, hiding, from the rest of us as well as himself.
But now. Now Abby needs him, and as I watch him help her sit up and take her cheeks, I see deep emotion in his eyes. I doubt she can see what I’m seeing because she’s too distraught, but Julius’s expression confirms what I suspect. He doesn’t think he’ll ever see her again.
“I’m okay,” Abby murmurs as she slides off the bed onto her feet. She’s dressed in stylish khaki pants, a thin pink sweater, and gold sandals. I rummaged through her belongings to choose this for her. I’m not sure she even realizes she’s dressed. We haven’t permitted her to wear a bra or panties for six weeks. She adjusts herself and rubs her hands down her front.
I hand Julius her brush and he runs it through her hair, gathering it at the nape of her neck and securing it with a gold clip from her toiletry bag. She doesn’t have on any makeup, nor does she need it, but I have it in her carry-on if she perks up enough to decide she wants to primp a bit.
Julius takes her face again, inches separating them. “I’m so sorry, baby. If there’s anything I can do, you call me.”
She nods, a new tear sliding down her cheek. “Yes, Sir.”
He smiles at her and hugs her tight. Even in distress, she ends their time respectfully.
When I reach for her hand, Julius lowers to sit on the edge of her bed. I suspect he will remain there for a while after we leave. Thinking. Remembering every detail. It’s only been weeks, but it seems like longer, and I know that’s just as true for Julius as Beck and me.
Teaching Abby (Surrender Book 2) Page 21