Loving Irish

by Katy Regnery

  BRITT: Of course I understand. Rest up and give my goddaughter a kiss from me. Love you two!

  Maybe skipping the brunch was cowardly, but Hallie was in no condition to see Ian Haven again so soon.

  So much had happened yesterday, she could barely get her head around all of it.

  She needed time. She just needed a little bit of time to process everything she’d learned, and everything that had happened so quickly between them. She needed to be certain that her life was headed in a direction she wanted. She had been through too much—and put Jenny through too much—to just allow her life to take unexpected detours without her express permission.

  So instead of attending Britt and Rory’s brunch, Hallie stayed in her fleece pajamas on Sunday morning, making a fire in the fireplace and pancakes for her and Jenny. When Jenny asked why they weren’t going to the brunch, she lied and said it had been canceled, but that they’d see Auntie Britt and Uncle Rory when they returned home from their honeymoon in mid-December. Hallie just wasn’t up for a quarrel, and there was no way Jenny would skip a chance to see Ian and the rest of the Havens if she knew the brunch was still happening.

  As her daughter played LEGOs on the living room carpet with Luna by her side, Jenny lay back on the couch, staring at the ceiling and thinking about yesterday.

  For ten years, she’d believed that Ian had willingly had sex with Vicky. Learning that he hadn’t even kissed her that night was…well, earth-shattering. Not only had Ian not betrayed her, but it actually sounded like he’d been so drunk and confused, he’d possibly believed that Vicky was her.

  It hurt to think of him waiting for her that night.

  It hurt to think that he’d probably assumed she wasn’t coming.

  And it hurt to think of his eyes filling with tears when Vicky told him that she definitely wasn’t.

  Suddenly his expression the next morning—shock and confusion—made sense to her. He was shocked to find Vicky beside him and confused that it wasn’t Hallie.

  And Vicky, who’d been rejected by Ian, had perpetuated the lie that she’d slept with him. She’d let it happen. She’d even encouraged it with her silence.

  It made Hallie’s eyes burn with tears to think of the injustice of it, of the way her love for Ian, and his for her, had been ripped away from them. And why? Because of her parents’ surprise visit…and Ian getting drunk…and Vicky’s hurt pride…and Hallie’s assumptions. Circumstances had worked against them, and by not examining those circumstances, they’d been complicit in the destruction of their relationship.

  She rolled to her side, staring at the fire and sighing.

  She had no doubt that Ian was still in love with her; he’d said as much last night before kissing her. Oh, God. They’d kissed. She closed her eyes as her heart raced at the memory of his lips on hers. It had felt so right, so perfect, so very much what Hallie wanted and needed. His hands on her body, his lips pressed to hers, his tender words of love and hope in her ears.

  Is this what I want? Is Ian Haven what you want, Hallie?

  “Mommy! Look at my tower.”

  “That’s great, baby,” said Hallie, turning to look at her daughter’s colorful creation and mustering a small smile.

  “Barbie and Wonder Woman are roommates with Elmo.”

  “Wow. Progressive. Good for them.”

  “Elmo steals the cookies that they buy.”

  “Does he give them to Cookie Monster?”

  “No,” she said, lying on her belly with her back to her mother. “He eats them.”

  Hallie laughed softly. “Did you have fun yesterday?”

  “Yes. Know what, Mommy?” she asked, still focused on her LEGO figures.

  “Nope. Tell me.”

  “I love it here. I love it better in Hampshire than Boston.”

  “New Hampshire,” said Hallie. She took a deep breath. Since they’d left Boston, she hadn’t spoken of Sergio directly, worried that it would trigger a negative reaction in Jenny. But now she decided to try. “Hey, Jen-Jen…do you miss Papa a lot?”

  “Yeah.” Jenny shrugged her little shoulders. “I miss him sometimes.”

  “You know he’ll always be your father, right? And he’ll always love you. No matter where he is. No matter what.”

  “I know,” said Hallie, picking up the Elmo figure. “Elmo and I are going to go steal Oreos from the kitchen so we don’t make Barbie and Wonder Woman mad.”

  Hallie nodded. “Just two, okay?”

  Well, that went surprisingly well, she thought, watching Jenny go.

  She maneuvered onto her back again, throwing her arm over her forehead and remembering the promises she’d made to herself the day they’d driven up to New Hampshire so many weeks ago: No more men. No more lies. No more betrayal. No lovers. No male friendships. Nothing. No one. No more.

  But Ian wasn’t “men”; he was Ian.

  And since the day she’d returned, he’d been honest and forthright with her, even when it was painful or awkward.

  And contrary to what she’d believed all these years, he hadn’t betrayed her.

  She took a deep breath and thought of all the hours he’d worked on her cottage to make amends. She thought of the way he treated Jenny, and how much his presence in Jenny’s life had healed her daughter’s fractured heart. She thought of the way it felt to hold his hand, or lean against him as they danced, or—oh, Lord, yes—the way it made her entire body shiver and ache when he kissed her.

  I want his friendship.

  I want his love.

  I want everything that we were cheated out of having.

  I want a second chance.

  Giggling softly to herself, she whispered the words aloud, “A second chance.”

  Tomorrow, she would walk over to Summerhaven with Jenny and see if Mrs. Toffle could watch her daughter for an hour while Hallie looked for Ian. She needed to talk to him.

  He wanted to give them a second chance?

  She couldn’t wait to tell him that she did too.

  CHAPTER 10

  Crash!

  The roar of wind and a loud burst of shattering glass woke Hallie from a deep sleep.

  Her eyes flashed open, and even though she was disoriented, she could tell right away that something was very wrong. Biting cold nipped at her face, and a frigid wind whipped through the room.

  Grabbing her phone from the bedside table, she looked at the time: 3:25 a.m.

  She grappled for the pull chain on the lamp, though the wind was making it hard to grasp. As soon as light brightened the room, she sat up straight in the bed and looked to her right where a tree branch had smashed through the double windows in the bedroom she and Jenny shared.

  “Jenny,” she whispered loudly, putting her hands under her daughter’s shoulders and pulling her away from the branches looming over the bed, “wake up, baby.”

  “Mommy?” whimpered Jenny, half opening her eyes before closing them again.

  Snow swirled around the room from the gash in the windows and Hallie pulled Jenny onto her lap, swinging her legs over the side of the bed and standing up with Jenny in her arms. She fumbled for the doorknob, closing the bedroom door behind her and beelining into the great room. Outside, all she could see was white. Swirling white snow. Their first major snowfall of the season…unpredicted and unexpected.

  Laying Jenny on the sofa, Hallie covered her with two warm blankets from a basket beside the fireplace, then looked out the windows at the lake. Waves whipped up two or three feet high, but at least they still had power…for now. Living in such a wooded area, however, with high-speed winds and wet, heavy snow, meant she probably wouldn’t have it for much longer. One tree had already fallen. Another would surely follow soon.

  Hallie raced back into the bedroom for her phone, trying to assess the damage, and realized that it was as bad as she feared. The windows were shattered and part of the wooden window frame had been smashed by the trunk. She moved as close to the branches as she dared, realizing that they w
eren’t on the top of the tree, but in the middle part of it, which meant…

  She turned ran upstairs, pivoting left at the top of the stairs and flicking on the hall light, but she already knew she was in trouble from the cold air blasting into the hallway from under the bedroom door. Bracing herself, she opened the door to find that the upper part of the tree had fallen onto her roof. Branches at the midpoint of the tree had broken through the downstairs window, and the trunk had smashed into the roof of the cottage.

  It wasn’t quite as bad as the hole she’d found in the other bedroom—the one that had just been fixed a few weeks ago—but still, the bedroom ceiling was cracked from the weight of the trunk now leaning on it.

  “Damn it!” she cried, staring at the damage. The tree would need to be removed and both the roof and ceiling would need to be repaired. “Why can’t I catch a break?”

  Ian had warned her that this could happen again, but she’d decided to wait on tree removal until the spring. Now she was going to pay mightily for that decision.

  Tears gathered in her eyes as she looked at the room. She hadn’t decorated it yet, but it had a bedframe and mattress that were covered in broken ceiling plaster and other debris. And just when it felt like nothing could get worse? The hallway light went black. She’d lost power. “Aw, come on!”

  Backing out of the room, she closed the door, turning on the light on her phone and making her way down the dark hallway to the stairs. The stairs were icy cold, and now that the electricity was gone, it was only going to get colder. Fast.

  Checking on Jenny, who was still sleeping, she glanced at the fireplace, wondering if she should make a fire. But then she remembered her father once telling her that opening the flue to create a necessary draft actually made everything colder in a house, not warmer.

  Still gripping her phone like a lifeline, she tapped on the “Phone” icon, and then on her phone book. Britt’s cell number was first in her list, but useless, since Brittany was en route to Ireland right now, probably halfway over the Atlantic. Hallie bit her lip as she looked at the rest of the numbers in her phone: her parents, fast asleep in Florida, and a few friends in Boston who’d be concerned but utterly useless in this particular situation; Tate, who’d gotten a ride with Fin to the Boston airport this morning, was probably back in sunny Florida already; Tierney and Burr, who lived twenty minutes away…and Ian.

  Her heart clutched.

  Ian.

  Without thinking about it, she touched his name, lifting the phone to her ear.

  Ring. Ring, ring.

  Ring. Ring, ring.

  Ring. Ring, ring.

  “You’ve reached Ian Haven, Co-Manager of the Summerhaven Event and Conference Center. I can’t get to the phone right now. Please leave a message and have a great day!”

  She waited for a tone, then said, “Ian? It’s Hallie. I know you told me to have the trees dealt with, but…well…I didn’t, and another one fell tonight, and the power’s gone, and it’s a mess here. Can you—I’m so sorry to bother you—but, can you call me?”

  She pressed “End,” backing up to sit on the couch beside Jenny’s feet and feeling so terribly alone, she couldn’t help the tears that slipped down her cheeks.

  Being an only child had had its advantages—her parents’ undivided attention, no one to fight for the remote control or the cupcake with the most frosting—but it had had its disadvantages too. The main one was loneliness. No brother or sister to pal around with on family vacations or call in times of need. No one to hold onto her memories or be extended family for her daughter. She had Brittany, of course, and thanked her lucky stars for her “sister from another mister,” but in times like this, when the world was, figuratively and literally, dark, Hallie felt a deep longing for someone to stand beside her.

  Sergio hadn’t been a great husband—they’d only known each other a few weeks when she discovered she was pregnant with Jenny, and he’d “done the right thing” by asking her to marry him. He was handsome and charming, and even though Hallie didn’t love him, she’d said yes. They were going to have a baby, right? Maybe they would learn to love each other, and anyway, she was tired of being alone, tired of dating, tired of wishing for someone beside her. Here was someone asking to marry her, she’d reasoned. Surely they’d come to care for one another, right?

  Right. They did come to care for each other, but love was elusive, perhaps because their relationship was never very deep or because Jenny’s impending arrival had forced Sergio to propose. Hallie and Sergio hadn’t shared an understanding of each other’s hearts. They didn’t have long conversations into the night. They didn’t share their secrets. They didn’t laugh at the same things.

  They co-parented Jenny with love, watched a few of the same TV shows when they both happened to be home, and enjoyed decent sex now and then. But it didn’t take more than a year or two for Hallie to start feeling lonelier with Sergio than she’d felt without him.

  She wanted to be loved.

  She wanted to be understood.

  She wanted to be needed and wanted.

  She wanted something that felt like what she’d been building with Ian Haven so long ago, and there was no one—least of all Sergio, with whom she’d never connected with on a deeper level—who could take Ian’s place in her heart.

  The only time in Hallie’s life when she hadn’t felt utterly alone were the moments she’d spent with Ian. Ten years ago…and, it occurred to her, now; in these past few weeks, even when she was so resentful of Ian’s help, she had come to rely on it.

  Why? Easy.

  Ian made her feel loved.

  Ian made her feel understood.

  Ian made her feel needed and wanted.

  And all she wanted right now…right this minute…was Ian.

  Bang. Bang, bang.

  Her head whipped up as a fist slammed against her front door.

  “Halcyon? Hallie?” Bang. “Hallie! Are you two okay? It’s Ian!”

  “Ian!” she cried, leaping from the couch and running across the room to the door. She whipped it open to find him—fully dressed in a parka, hat, and gloves—standing outside, his fist raised to bang again. Grasping at his glove with both hands, she pulled him inside. “You’re—You’re here.”

  “I’m here,” he said, his face only illuminated by the ambient light on the screen of her phone. “I got your message, got dressed, and jumped in my truck. You’re not staying here. You’re coming home with me.”

  And just like that, her shoulder sagged with relief, because she wasn’t alone anymore. She didn’t know if it was smart idea to stay with Ian—there was so much unresolved between them—but right now, she didn’t care. He’d come to her rescue. He’d keep her, and her daughter, safe. That’s all that mattered. They could work out the rest. Heck, if she was staying with him, they’d have ample time to talk and—

  “Halcyon. Baby,” he said gently, interrupting her thoughts.

  “Huh?”

  “Don’t overthink it.” When he looked into her eyes, it was as though he could read her mind. Taking off one of his gloves, he cupped her cheek with a warm hand. “It’s going to get wicked cold in here. An hour from now, you’ll see your breath. In two hours, you won’t feel your toes. Just…come home with me.”

  Come home with me.

  Oh, my heart.

  “Yeah. Okay.”

  He smiled at her. “Okay.”

  “I’m in my pajamas,” she said, pointing to her T-shirt and fleece pants. “And Jenny’s asleep.”

  “I don’t mind pajamas,” he said, sweeping his eyes down her body with appreciation and making her feel warm all over despite the dropping temperature. “I’ll carry the ladybug to the truck while you grab some things for the next few days. Deal?”

  “Deal. She’s on the couch,” said Hallie, pointing toward the great room, “covered in blankets.”

  “I’ll get her settled. Meet me outside?”

  Ian’s snow boots thudded across the floor as
he headed for Jenny, and Hallie hurried in the other direction to the bedroom.

  He was right—she could already see her breath. Opening the closet, she grabbed a duffel bag, filling it with underwear, socks, jeans and shirts from the dresser. She grabbed a few sweaters, plus Jenny’s parka from the back of the closet, then shrugged into her own.

  She didn’t know where her snow boots were but guessed that they were probably still in a box in the basement. Because this first snowstorm was a surprise, she hadn’t unpacked all of their winter things yet. Grabbing her sneakers instead, she pulled them on, shoved her phone charger, tablet, and Luna into the bag and zipped it shut.

  When she returned to the door, Ian was waiting.

  He frowned at her feet. “It’s snowing.”

  “I know,” she said, “but I think our boots are still packed in the basement—whoa!”

  Ian swept her into his arms like she weighed no more than Jenny. Looking down at her face, so close to his, his breath kissed her cheek when he said, “The snow’s too deep for sneakers.”

  Snug in his arms, she had no words. All she could do was smile up at him.

  “I’ll come back for your bag after I get you in the truck. Give me your keys too so I can lock up.”

  With the snow falling on his dark hair, he looked almost mythic, like some great, protective giant from a kingdom far away, ferrying her from peril to safety.

  “Thank you for coming,” she said. “I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

  “Mo chroi,” he said softly, “I would do anything for you. That’s how it is when you love someone.”

  When you love someone.

  Her breath shuddered, and overcome with too many feelings to name, she leaned her forehead into the crook of his neck as he carried her down the path and through the gate to the warm truck. He opened the door and slid her gently onto the passenger seat beside Jenny, who was still asleep. Hallie fumbled for the keys in her coat pocket, holding them out for Ian.

  “I’ll be right back.”