by Katy Regnery
“Great!” she said, beaming at him. “The Christmas party was last night. I did everything you said, Ian. You would have been so proud of me.” She hadn’t sat down yet. “Mind if I get a drink? I’ll be right back.”
He was about to say that yes, he did mind, because while he was glad she’d had a successful night, he really had a lot to do today and didn’t have time to sit around drinking coffee, but she was already walking up to the barista to place her order.
Ian took out his phone and looked through his messages. There was a new one from Rory saying that he and Brittany were boarding their flight and should land in Boston by three. And one from Tierney saying that the Rileys were arriving on the twenty-third and could Ian and Doug have two of the winterized cottages ready for them?
He didn’t bother writing back to Rory, who was halfway over the Atlantic by now, but he told Tierney he’d have Lady Margaret ready for the Rileys in time. Putting his phone back in his pocket, he grinned to himself, thinking about Christmas morning with Hallie and Jenny. It had been a long time since Ian had had Christmas morning with people he loved. It had hurt his parents and siblings to see the addict version of himself, so he’d declined their invitations to Christmas for years. But this year? He was making up for all of that. This year, he was spending Christmas with his whole family, the love of his life, and her adorable daughter. He felt like a kid again. He couldn’t wait.
When Shandie returned to the table, she smiled at Ian, stirring some sugar into her coffee and pushing the red bag toward him. “Thank you so much for meeting me, Ian. This is for you.”
He looked at the bag, then back up at her. “What is it?”
“It’s a gift, because you’ve been so amazing to me.”
Ian sat back in his chair, looking at her, leaving the bag untouched on the table between them. “Shandie, why aren’t you meeting with Maevis?”
She looked surprised, her smile fading a touch. “She’s great, you know? I just…I don’t know her all that well, and we’ve known each other forever.”
“Yeah, but you have a sponsor for a reason.”
“Can’t I have friends too?”
Ian nodded. “Sure.”
“So…? Open your present!”
He glanced at the bag but didn’t touch it. “Does Dale know you’re here?”
“He saw me go out.”
“Where did you say you were going?”
“It’s Christmastime!” she said. “Can’t a girl run some holiday errands?”
She was getting defensive, and Ian didn’t want that, but facing the truth was an important part of the steps. He leaned forward, folding his hands on the table. “Shandie, you’re meeting with an unmarried man and giving him presents.”
“I’m meeting with an old friend and thanking him,” she said, reaching for his hands and covering them with one of hers, while the other nudged the bag toward him.
Ian looked down at her hands, then gently slid his away. “This just doesn’t feel right to me.”
She frowned at him, leaning back in her chair and folding her hands in her lap. “I can’t talk to Dale about things. He doesn’t get it.”
“That’s what meetings are for. That’s what Maevis is for.”
“That’s what you’re for,” she said. “I want…I want you to be that person for me. I thought you wanted that too.”
“No, Shandie. I’m sorry if I gave you that impression, but that’s not my role. It’s not a role I’m comfortable taking on.” He reached for his coffee, finishing it up and letting his words sink in. “I’m with someone. She wouldn’t like me meeting you like this. I don’t think Dale would like it either.”
“Dale doesn’t know!” she blurted out.
“Exactly,” said Ian. He cocked his head to the side. “I’m going to sit here with you while you call Maevis.”
Shandie blinked at him, lifting her chin. “I don’t need to call her.”
“Yeah, you do,” he said softly, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Why can’t you—I mean, can’t you just—”
“No,” said Ian. “Call your sponsor. I’ll wait.”
Blinking back tears, Shandie reached into her purse and pulled out her phone. Dialing a number with one touch, she only had to wait a second. “Maevis? Yeah. It’s me. Uh-huh. If it’s not too much trouble. At the Starbucks in Center Harbor. Thank you. Okay. I will. Thank you again.” Shandie looked up at him, her once bright smile gone, her eyes flat. “She’s coming.”
Ian nodded, reaching into his pockets for his gloves and putting them on. “Good. You’re doing the right thing.”
“Doesn’t feel like it,” she said softly, tracing circles on the table, the gift between them an awkward reminder of her misguided intentions.
Ian sighed, pushing away from the table. “I’m going to get going now.”
“I’m sorry, Ian,” she whispered.
He reached for her hand, squeezing it gently before letting it go. “Merry Christmas, Shandie. Be good, okay?”
Still staring down at the table, she nodded. “I’ll do my best.”
***
The parking lot was packed with holiday shoppers, so Hallie parked in the back, unbuckling Jenny from the car seat and taking her daughter’s hand as they walked toward the strip mall that had a pizza place, a mani/pedi salon, a hardware store, a Starbucks, and a grocery store.
“Mommy, look,” said Jenny, pointing to a dark-green truck. “Ian’s truck!”
Hallie glanced to the side, doing a double take and stopping in her tracks. It was Ian’s truck. Huh. She didn’t remember him saying anything about running errands this morning—when he went to town, he usually asked if she needed anything.
“Maybe he ran out of salt,” she said, looking up ahead at the hardware store.
“Let’s say hi to him!” Jenny suggested, pulling her mother toward the shops.
They’d been heading for the grocery store, but now Jenny steered them across the Starbucks to the hardware store. Hallie looked up at the Starbucks as they passed it, her heart dropping when she saw Ian at a table beside the window.
A shot of adrenaline blasted through her body making her fingers tingle and shake as she stared at him. He was holding hands with a woman in a low-cut red sweater. She smiled at him, in an intimate way like she’d known him forever, pushing a red Christmas bag toward him with her free hand.
“Who’s that lady, Mommy?” asked Jenny, who had stopped walking.
“I…I don’t…” She cleared her throat, her heart racing painfully as she watched Ian pull his hand away but stay seated at the table. “I don’t know.”
“She looks a little like Papa’s special friend.”
Hallie whipped her gaze away from the window to look down at her daughter. “What? Who?”
“The lady with the black hair who laughed a lot. In Boston.”
Hallie grabbed Jenny’s hand, turning them both around and marching back to her car. She was trembling all over, her eyes stinging with tears, her stomach churning up the toast and coffee she’d eaten this morning.
When they reached the car, she squatted down in front of Jenny, gripping her daughter’s upper arms firmly. “What are you talking about?”
“Papa’s special friend. We went out for ice cream.”
“Fuck!” Hallie muttered, shaking her head back and forth. Her husband had introduced their daughter to one of his fucking whores? She practically shook with anger, wondering what else Jenny had seen and heard while Sergio was cheating on her.
“Mommy, you look so mad,” said Jenny, tears welling in her eyes. “Like before. You’re hurting my arms. It’s scaring me.”
“Oh, baby! I’m sorry!”
Hallie lunged forward, hugging Jenny tightly, her mind whirling with past and present revelations: notably, that her ex-husband was a worse asshole than she’d given him credit for and that Ian, whom she had started trusting again only recently, had some secrets of his own.
“We
’re going home,” she said.
“We didn’t go shopping.”
“We’ll…uh, we’ll go tomorrow. I forgot my wallet,” she lied, helping Jenny into the car.
As they drove back up to Summerhaven, Hallie desperately tried not to let her suspicions and fears run away with her, reminding herself that Ian had not cheated on her with Vicky and that since she’d returned to New Hampshire, he’d been nothing but good to her.
She’d lost Ian ten years ago because they hadn’t unraveled the truth—she couldn’t, she wouldn’t, let that happen again. That said, however? They needed to talk as soon as possible. She needed to know who that woman was, and why Ian hadn’t mentioned meeting her.
As they turned into Summerhaven twenty minutes later, Hallie took out her phone and texted Ian.
HALLIE: Are you around? I need to talk to you.
IAN: Had to run into town. I can be there in 10 min. Everything okay?
HALLIE: Yeah. I’ll meet you at the apartment.
She took some quiet comfort in the fact that Ian wasn’t trying to hide where he’d been, though she was eager to set the matter to rest once and for all. After she parked the car, she walked Jenny into the main office.
“Hey, Mrs. Toffle,” she greeted the elderly receptionist, who was on duty today in preparation for tonight’s event.
“Hello, dear. And hello to you, Jenny.”
“Hi, Mrs. T.,” said Jenny.
“Mrs. Toffle,” said Hallie, “is there any way you could keep an eye on Jenny for a little bit? Ian and I need to…to talk.”
Mrs. Toffle’s eyes scanned Hallie’s face for a second, no doubt taking in her flushed cheeks and overbright eyes. “Of course, dear.” She turned to Jenny. “Want to help me lick some stamps and envelopes?”
Jenny nodded, eyeing the lollipop jar on Mrs. Toffle’s desk.
“Take your time, dear,” said the older woman with a comforting nod.
Hallie headed upstairs, grateful for a few minutes to compose herself before Ian got home, though it was hard to shake her worries.
“Calm down,” she said. “Maybe she’s an old friend. Heck, Hallie, she could be his cousin! You didn’t even think of that. She could be family.”
She fanned her face with her hand as she paced the living room, trying to get her emotions under control, but the more she thought about it, the more her heart sunk. Rationally, she knew that Ian hadn’t cheated on her with Vicky but rewriting a history she’d held as true for ten years didn’t happen overnight. And Sergio? He’d proven himself to be a rat bastard, with new revelations this morning about how low he would stoop: introducing their daughter to a woman who might have been an escort or prostitute.
She recalled her promises to herself on the drive up to New Hampshire—no more cheating, no more lying, no more men—but she’d fallen head over heels for Ian Haven all over again, and the thought of losing him now was…unbearable.
When she heard his footsteps on the stairs, she took a deep breath and lifted her chin, turning to face the door.
***
Her text had unnerved him.
Not that Ian had a lot of experience with women, but the proverbial “we need to talk” line generally didn’t bode well for those of his sex. What had happened?
When he got to Summerhaven, his anxiety increased to find Jenny downstairs with Mrs. Toffle, who gave him a dry look, glanced at the stairs, then returned her gaze to him with a pinched expression.
Okay.
She’s upset.
He took the stairs two at a time, pulling off his hat, mittens, and coat before he got to the door and dropping them in a heap on the floor when he entered.
Halcyon stood across the room, clenching her hands together, her eyes wide and worried, her lips pursed, exuding a barely restrained panic that sent his own emotions into overdrive. What the hell was going on?
“Halcyon?” he said. “Are you okay?”
She nodded once, her nostrils flaring as she stared at him.
“What’s going on?”
She gulped, remaining stock-still as she faced him. “I took Jenny to the grocery store this morning. She saw your…truck, um, in the parking lot. I saw you…with… with…um, a woman. At Starbucks, um…”
His heart started racing like a gun had just been shot beside his ear. Holy shit. She’d seen him with Shandie. Of course she was upset.
Covering the distance between them in two strides, he pulled her stiff body into his arms, his heart thundering with sympathy for her. He saw exactly what this looked like through her eyes: first, her boyfriend cheats on her, then, her husband cheats on her, then, her boyfriend cheats on her again.
“It’s not what you think,” he said.
“What do I think?” she whispered, her voice breaking, her body still stiff in his arms.
“I would never cheat on you. Never.”
“That’s not enough, Ian. You need to tell me everything. Who is she? Why were you—”
“Wait. I need you to hear this: You think that you’re the girl that men cheat on, baby, but it’s not true. I never cheated on you. Your husband is a well-established asshole, but you are rid of him. You’re with me now, and I will never do that to you, Halcyon.”
His words calmed her, though questions remained to be answered. “Okay, fine. Then tell me what I saw.”
Leaning away from her, he took her hand and led her to the couch, pulling her down beside him. “Remember a few weeks ago when I came home late from AA on a Monday night?”
She nodded.
“That was because a friend needed some encouragement. The friend was Shandie, whom I knew in high school. And she texted me again today—last minute, no notice—to ask if we could talk again.”
Hallie’s shoulders, which had been tensed up around her ears, relaxed a little. “So that’s what you were doing? Meeting a friend from AA?”
He nodded. “She went to a Christmas party last night, and she didn’t drink. I’d given her some advice on how to handle social situations, and she wanted to thank me.”
“Thank you?” scoffed Hallie. “She was dressed like she wanted to do more than thank you.”
“I have no control over how she dresses,” said Ian, keeping his voice gentle and even. “She brought a gift and said she wanted to thank me.”
“Yeah. I saw the gift bag,” scoffed Hallie.
“I have no idea what was in it.”
“Wasn’t it for you?”
“It was, but I wouldn’t accept it. I told her that I was with someone now, and I couldn’t accept a gift from her. I waited with her while she called her sponsor. Then I told her that I couldn’t be the person she called anymore—that I wasn’t comfortable with that role, and I didn’t think my woman would be comfortable with it either.”
“Your woman?” she asked softly, the slightest smile tipping up her lips.
He pulled her onto his lap, relieved when she straddled him and scooted closer to press her breasts against his chest. “My woman.”
“Anything else?”
“I think she has a crush on me. To be clear, I do not have a crush on her. I am one hundred percent in love with you.”
Her smile grew a little wider, and Ian felt it in his heart, how much he loved that smile. “Is that everything?”
“That’s everything,” he said. “I promise.”
“I believe you,” she said.
“Thank you,” he said, sighing with relief.
“I’m sorry I doubted you,” she said, leaning forward to brush her lips against his.
“It probably looked pretty suspicious. But baby, I’m so glad that you came to me,” he said, reaching up to caress her cheek with the back of his hand. “Thank you for respecting me enough to ask. Thank you for not believing the worst and leaving.”
“There will still be moments…sometimes,” she said, “when my doubts get the better of me. But I promise to come to you when they do. I promise never just to leave you without a word…without fightin
g for us first.”
“That’s all I ask, mo chroí.”
She breathed in, her hardened nipples rubbing against his chest as her smile deepened and her eyes darkened. “You know…Mrs. Toffle still has the ladybug. The apartment’s free…”
Standing up with her legs locked around his waist, Ian stared into her eyes as he walked into the bedroom, throwing her down on the bed, unbuttoning her jeans, and tugging them off with her underwear. He knelt between her legs, loving her clit until it was pebble hard, and when he entered her body, it was slick and hot like it had been oiled, just as she’d promised the night they first made love.
Later, when she was lying naked, sated and soft in his arms, with her head resting over his heart, a feeling came over him, so strong and true, it wouldn’t be denied, and something he’d been planning to do on Christmas Day suddenly needed to happen now.
“Halcyon,” he asked, lightly running his fingers up and down her arm. “How do you feel about…forever?”
“From where I am right now? Pretty good.”
“Okay. More specifically…how do you feel about marriage?” he asked, holding his breath when the words left his mouth.
She leaned up on his chest. “Honestly? A little scared.”
He exhaled, feeling slightly deflated.
“In fact, I wouldn’t even consider it again,” she said gravely, making his heart plummet until he caught the glimpse of a twinkle in her blue eyes, “except with one man.”
Relief flooded him, and his lips quirked up in a tentative smile. “Do I know him?”
That made her laugh, and the sound of it filled his heart with so much joy, he leaned to the side a little, opening the drawer of his bedside table and withdrawing the little white box that held a promise ring, a Christmas ring, an engagement ring, made expressly for her.
“You stay there,” he said, easing her head from his chest and sliding out of the bed to kneel down on the floor beside it.
He held up the little box, flat in his palm.
“I bought this over ten years ago.” Opening the top, her listened to her sharp intake of breath as she looked at the tiny, sparkling gems in the simple silver setting. “It’s a ruby for you and an emerald for me,” he explained. “I was going to give it to you that night—a promise ring, to let you know how much I loved you and that what we shared was just the start of something wonderful.”