Backstage
Page 27
I’m proud that I never gave up on him in any aspect. Too many people had given up on him in his life. His mother tried to make amends so many times. I’ve since made peace with my family. Trey came with me when I did. We aren’t close, but we are all trying. It’s better than the alternative. I’ve tried to convince Trey to do the same with his mother. He’s not ready. I told him I feel he should forgive her for no other reason but to have closure. He doesn’t have to have a relationship with her the way she’s seeking. By forgiving her, he’ll also be letting her go. I won’t push him. He doesn’t need to be pressured. He doesn’t need his mother to make his life complete. That’s why I’m here.
He reconnected with some friends he had while living in L.A. He said of his past, those three were the only ones he regretted leaving behind. I’ve spoken to them on the phone, and they adore him. Even after his leaving without a goodbye, they all thought of him often and were thrilled to have him back in their lives.
Jack, Leila, and the guys haven’t given up on him either. We make up his family now. Each one of us loves him more than he feels he deserves. We feel he deserves that and much more. He deserves happiness. It’s now my goddamn mission in life to ensure he gets it.
My happiness is wrapped around him. We’ve had our moments over the past year. Many where he felt I was still better off without him. One of our worst arguments was a night after we spent some time with the twins. He became distant, and I immediately knew something was bothering him. I handled him as I always do. I forced him to talk to me. It took me hours, but I finally got him to admit he felt that I’d be missing out on happiness if I stayed with him. The longing way I looked at the twins upset him.
I can’t ever conceive. The damage done while I was held captive by that demon is irreversible. My situation is what it is. It’s something I’ve been internally struggling with for a long time. Therapy has helped me come to accept it. Trey feels by staying with him, I’m giving up my chances to have a family in other ways. He argued that surrogacy or adoption were both alternate methods to have a child. By being with him, I’m giving up those chances. He does not want children. He’s been very honest with me regarding his position on having kids. He is skeptical that I’ve accepted a childless future for myself. It took me a long time to convince him my happiness completely revolves around him being in my life. My situation is just that, a situation. It may be an unfortunate one, but it’s just the way things turned out. I choose him.
And he chose me.
Trey and I escaped this past weekend to become Mr. and Mrs. Taylor. It all happened so suddenly. A few days ago after we had made love all night long, he shocked me by asking me to marry him. Marriage has come up. He’s always said when and if he were to take that step, he’d only take it with me. I said I’d love to be his wife, but when and if he were to ask, he better be ready to do so immediately. Because the minute he did, we’d be eloping for fear that he would change his mind.
That’s exactly how it happened. He proposed, we secretly flew to Vegas, and we were married the next day. Our ceremony was short, but the significance was monumental. This complicated, broken man managed to squeeze my heart with just a few words. We haven’t exchanged rings. We decided to instead have each other’s name tattooed on our ring fingers. It’s more his style. He thought the fact he didn’t want to wear a ring would upset me. I was quick to explain his idea of commitment and pledging forever was a far better one than slipping on a ring. As I stare down at my husband’s name in a fancy script on my finger, his chosen name and not his birth one, it causes my heart to skip a beat knowing he is now mine, forever.
When we see everyone today at the farewell party the studio is throwing for their world tour, it will be as Mr. and Mrs. Taylor for the first time. His fans are NOT going to be happy. I anticipate hate mail once news breaks. Leila is also NOT going to be happy. I’ll have a ton of damage control to do. I know that she’ll get over it because she loves us. I hope it happens sooner rather than later. She’s preoccupied with the tour and having the twins away from home for so many months. Trey said I could tell her, but I felt if she knew we were going, she’d want to do something to make our wedding special. She has enough on her plate right now than to worry about us.
We leave in a few days for Europe, Asia, and Australia. The wives, the babies, all of us will be traveling around the world. Even Mandi and Patti took leaves of absence to accompany Hunter and Scott on this major milestone in their lives. It’s a first for them. During past tours, a few visits were all they every got to enjoy some time with their guys. I know first hand how hard it is to say goodbye and leave the man you love after a quick weekend, to continue on his journey without you. This tour we will be together every minute. It’s going to be an amazing experience. While on the road, I will be writing my next book about the rock phenomenon known as Devil’s Lair. The story will chronicle their lives from the start of the band to Leila joining them to present day. Traveling with them as Trey’s wife is the best feeling in the world. It will be crazy and exhausting I’m sure. I look forward to every chaotic moment.
Life is always hectic for the members of Devil’s Lair. Their U.S. tour last year was epic. The best tour they’ve had to date. Several Grammys now hold their places of honor in each of their homes. Their videos are constantly played on MTV. Jen has been in negotiations with execs over the details of a possible Devil’s Lair reality show. It’s all been fucking insane…and I wouldn’t change one minute of it.
“You’re still staring into space,” he says, walking into the kitchen in nothing but a towel. “Why aren’t you getting dressed?”
I move toward him automatically. It’s not a conscious thought. When he’s near me, I’m instantly closing the distance between us. His skin is damp from his shower, and he smells incredible. He moans when I run my nose through the smattering of his chest hair.
“Tara, you know what that does to me.”
“Mmm, I do,” I respond through the kisses that I plant all over his pecs. I trace the tats that decorate his chest with my fingertips. “Just as you know what the sight of you in a towel does to me, my husband.”
His cock grows hard between us. “What happened to not having enough time?”
“Life is too short,” I respond with his favorite saying. While looking into his pale blue eyes, I slip my hand into the opening of the towel to hold him. He smirks when my cool fingers wrap around his hot flesh.
“You better follow through, my wife.”
Mimicking his smirk, I flick the towel from around his waist. His eyes narrow when I run the pad of my thumb over his piercing. They blaze when he watches me lower to my knees to take him into my mouth. He buries his fingers into my hair, manipulating my movements like he loves to do. He loves holding me still as he slowly thrusts into me. I hollow my checks just like he loves me to do. I moan and suck also in the way that he loves me to do. I smile around him when he releases his own moan. So when he pulls out of my mouth, I’m confused that he stopped me from finishing one of the things that he loves me to do.
“My turn,” he says before picking me up and carrying me into our room.
I should argue that we don’t have time. The responsible adult in me shouldn’t have started this to begin with.
Screw that.
As Trey Taylor’s wife, I’m now reckless and carefree. Fuck responsibility and all it comes with. My goal in my life, in our life together, is to live each and every day to the fullest with no regrets. I don’t want us to ever look back and wish we did anything differently. I only want us to do what we want to do when we want to do it.
And right now, I want my man to do what he does best…fuck me good and hard.
The End
Book four? This is insane. Yet, at the same time, it feels like I’ve been doing this forever. I can’t remember what things were like before I started writing just a little over a year ago. It’s become such a huge part of my life. With each book, I’m getting a touch better at jugglin
g life and writing…emphasis on “a touch”. Through all four books, my family has gotten a touch better at accepting my new career as well. I think we have all reached a happy medium.
This is a repeat from my acknowledgement blurb in Encore. But, it’s worth repeating. Because, this man has been my rock and I couldn’t have done this without him. So, I first want to thank my best friend, my husband. He has been nothing but supportive throughout this entire process. He encourages me. He pimps me. He makes me laugh. He watches me cry (while rolling his eyes). He’s the best. Love you J.D.
To my two boys, I love you guys. Thanks for letting Mom off the hook so many more times that I can count.
I want to thank my immediate family. You’ve all been my best cheerleaders. I love you and thank you for your support.
Bloggers…There’s too many to list, and this isn’t a bad thing. It proves how much support I have, and I truly appreciate each one of you. Some of you have become my closest friends. You guys have been there for me since day one. You all do what you do cause you love to do it. That alone makes you all tops in my book. Love you and thank you!
Groupies !!! Best groupies on earth. I’ve said it before and I’ll continue to say it. I adore each and every one of you. Thank you so much for your help, your advice, your support, your love of Jack, Leila, their friends, and even Trey. Thank you.
To Trish, Kim, Cheryl, Rachel, Stephanie, and Jessica. Our daily chats had me pissing my pants. At times, you made me cry from your words of encouragement and support. You ho’s own my heart. Love you girls so much.
I want to thank my cover artist, Lindee Robinson at Lindee Robinson Photography. When I came to you in search for my perfect Trey, you tirelessly send me pics upon pics of possible candidates. Each time I’d say, “No, sorry, that’s not Trey”. You never gave up. And then, you found HIM! You found my perfect Trey and I am so very grateful. Thank you for capturing him perfectly for the Backstage cover. You rock girl!
To Andy Glass, bass guitarist for We Came As Romans. We’ve never met, but I feel as if I know you personally. You have brought my misunderstood, often misinterpreted Trey Taylor to life. Ashley Patchak, I thank you for bringing Tara to life as well. You two are perfect together and you have perfectly portrayed Trey and Tara on my cover. You’re beautiful. Thank you both. www.wecameasromans.com
To the best Beta Team an author can have. You CHICKS chomp at the bit in anticipation of each book I’ve thrown your way. You read and comment as needed, and always come out showing me your utmost support. To Alicia, @ AVC Proofreading, thank you for getting Backstage perfect for me to hit that publish button early. When I text you wanting to move up my release date you never flinch. You accept and return in the little amount of time I allot you with. Thank you for going with the flow.
Thanks you to Brenda Wright for formatting Backstage for me. It was so great not having to do it, especially when I spend hours doing it and I end up doing it all wrong anyway. You’re a lifesaver.
To my author friends, I’ve met some of you, but most I haven’t yet. I’m proud to be in this community with you. I’ve seen some nasty, and I’m so grateful to have found the cream of the crop in classiness and professionalism. Thanks girls.
A.D. and C.D. If you run, I’d find you. If you hide, I’d find you. If you leave me, I’d find you. You two are my rocks, my therapists, my girls, and my BFFs. I adore you so much.
Finally, to all my readers. THANK YOU! Those words fall short, and seem inadequate. I cannot express my gratitude with just two words. It’s not possible. I’ll never understand why so many of you go above and beyond the duties of just a reader. By pimping me, sharing my posts, commenting on them, telling your friends, every day you steal a part of my heart. Thank you.
Interested in becoming a Groupie? Contact me at am.madden@aol.com. We’d love to have you.
Reason I Am is an original song created for The Back-up Series. Lyrics - A.M. Madden, music - Mike Martone, vocals - Tyler Cohen, guitar - Randy Newberry, and recording engineer - Dennis Arcano. The song Reason I Am is available for download on Reverbnation and iTunes.
The songs listed below are both personal favorites and inspirational tracks that I played on a constant loop while writing Backstage. I’m sure it’s not a revelation to hear that I adore music, especially classic and modern rock. I did write a book about a rock band, after all. These songs helped set my tone, helped create my moods, helped inspire me. Every Avenue has a special place in my heart. If Devil’s Lair were real, this is what they would sound like. I never tire of hearing them, which I feel makes the mark of a true masterpiece. The others are just so Trey-like that I needed to include them.
Follow A.M. Madden on Spotify.com to find all The Back-up Series playlists.
Reason I Am ~ A.M. Madden & Mike Martone
Glad You Came ~ We Came As Romans
Porn Star Dancing ~ My Darkest Day
Start Me Up ~ The Rolling Stones
Meet Me Halfway ~ The Black Eyed Peas
Say Something ~ Say Something
Light My Fire ~ The Doors
Sweet Child O’ Mine ~ Guns N’ Roses
All My Love ~ Led Zeppelin
Again ~ Lenny Kravitz
Fool In The Rain ~ Led Zeppelin
In Pieces ~ Linkin Park
What I’ve Done ~ Linkin Park
Home Sweet Home ~ Motley Crue
Behind Blue Eyes ~ The Who
Comfortably Numb ~ Pink Floyd
Hey You ~ Pink Floyd
Never Let Me Go ~ We Came As Romans
Fade Away ~ We Came As Romans
Hysteria ~ Muse
Eternally Missed ~ Muse
Get Out Alive ~ Three Days Gone
Animal I Have Become ~ Three Days Gone
The Back-Up Series, Back-Up Copyright ©2013, Front & Center, Encore, and Backstage Copyright ©2014 by A.M. Madden.
Please support all Indie-authors and leave a review at point of purchase. Indie-authors depend on reviews and book recommendations to help potential readers decide to take the time and read their story. This Indie-author would greatly appreciate it.
Xo
A.M. Madden
You can contact A.M. Madden at:
www.ammadden.com
https://www.facebook.com/pages/AM-Madden-Author/584346794950765
https://twitter.com/ammadden1
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7203641.A_M_Madden
You can contact Jack Lair at:
https://www.facebook.com/jackhlair
https://twitter.com/jacklair1
You can contact Trey Taylor at:
https://www.facebook.com/treytaylor69
Table of Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Trey’s Epilogue
Tara’s Epilogue
Acknowledgements
Backstage Playlist
Follow A.M. Madden
tons">share