What did he eat, for goddess’ sake?
“I don’t know about that,” Daniella said. “You didn’t exactly honor the contract either.”
Ashlar opened his mouth, and then closed it abruptly. “Are you questioning my word?”
“I am.” Daniella nodded. “I have the contract here.” She pulled the gross thing out of her waistband.
Eww. I hadn’t even bothered to ask what had happened to the contract.
“In it, the agreement is to surrender the souls of Granny and Meema when they leave this Earth. Granny said you showed up on Meema’s eighteenth birthday. That’s not exactly when they leave this earth.” She looked up from the contract.
“It is when I chose to have them leave the earth,” Ashlar shot back.
“That wasn’t in the contract.”
Ashlar shrugged. “And?”
“So Granny didn’t really break the contract. Because you broke it first.”
Beeval hissed next to me. “Call the Big Boss.”
“What?” I asked.
“The Big Boss. Handles disputes. Ashlar cheated. Big Boss decide.”
“Holy shit,” I breathed.
“Big Boss make Ashlar honor contract.”
“What’s Big Boss’ name?” I asked.
Beeval’s forehead wrinkled as he thought. “Sojin,” he said finally. “His name Sojin. Call him now. We call him.” Beeval grabbed my hands.
“I don’t—Beeval—”
“Thehruksh Sho’jin!” Beeval yelled.
Oh sweet goddess. They were going to hear us. I chanted with Beeval as I snuck a look over the windowsill.
“I don’t recognize this language,” I whispered.
“Way we speak in Hell,” Beeval said, and shouted out the chant again.
I couldn’t believe I was hiding in the house while they were out there facing that greasy asshole.
“Beeval, let’s go face him.”
He stared up at me, his eyes wide with fear.
“I’ll be with you,” I said, standing and keeping hold of his hand.
He stopped speaking, then he nodded. “We call loud as we walk out. So he know. Once we call Big Boss, tell Ashlar we dispute, and want ruling.”
“And he has to stop whatever he’s doing?” I couldn’t believe it was this easy.
Beeval nodded. “When a Big Boss has to settle, no one can do anything.”
“Then let’s go.”
Hand in hand, we walked out onto the porch.
Deirdre whipped around, hearing us. “What are you two doing here? Get back in the house!” she hissed.
“Listen, and repeat,” I said, trying to keep the explanations to a minimum. “Yell it for everyone in the back, Beeval.”
He nodded, and raised his voice. “Thehruksh Sho’jin!” He repeated it, his voice loud.
I could see that Ashlar was stunned. He obviously hadn’t expected this turn of events. And he was trying to see who was yelling for what was apparently his boss.
I joined in, nodding to my sisters, the Deanas, and Zane. Slowly, they began to repeat the unfamiliar-sounding words, and Beeval and I, still holding hands, stepped down off the porch to stand between Deirdre and Daniella.
“I have it ready,” Deirdre said, touching the back of her neck.
I nodded, not stopping the chanting.
“What are you doing? There’s no need for— who is that?” Ashlar took two steps toward our lawn, peering at Beeval. “Why do you have one of my demons?”
“He’s not yours,” I said, feeling the anger course through me. He probably didn’t even know Beeval’s name. “He is here of his own free will, at our invitation.”
“You can’t just steal away one of my demons!” Ashlar was outraged, which was kind of funny.
“I didn’t. I invited him, and he came.” I met his gaze.
“You will suffer for an age,” Ashlar said to Beeval with no inflection at all.
The ground rumbled again. Beeval stopped chanting. “He is coming,” he said, putting his hands on his hips and glaring at Ashlar. “You cheat, you answer to Sojin.”
“I didn’t cheat!” Now Ashlar looked not only pissed, but annoyed.
I hoped he was also feeling a little nervous. The prick.
“You better hope not,” Daniella said. “There is honor even among demons. Your boss is going to be angry if you tried to cheat Granny and you’re harassing us now.”
“You do not know of what you speak,” Ashlar said, crossing his arms. “We shall see.”
“This is it?” DeAnna asked. “Why isn’t he trying to kill us?”
“He can’t. Apparently, when there’s a contract dispute, all parties have to stop whatever bullshit they’re trying.” I glared at Ashlar.
“How did you come to leave my hospitality, Desdemona?” Ashlar asked conversationally. “Since I didn’t plan to let you leave any time soon, I’m thinking my small demon there was a part of it?”
“I got myself out,” I said, not willing to expose Beeval. “And I invited him.”
“You are both going to suffer a great deal when this small hiccup is over,” he said in the same conversational tone.
“So you say,” Deana said. “I think you might have screwed up.” She shook her head. “Sloppy.”
“Maybe not pOkaye the demon,” Zane said. “Even if we have brief upper hand.”
“Scared?” Daniella asked. “Poking is kind of our thing.” She grinned.
“Yes,” I said before Zane could answer. “I am. But Beeval said this is the way things are done, so I’m trusting him.”
“Hope that doesn’t go to shit,” Dee said out of the side of her mouth.
The ground rumbled again. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Mrs. Kittrick, of all people. She was pruning her bushes, and the cats were twining around her feet. At the rumble, both Tinkie and Winkie stopped, and stared into our yard.
Mrs. Kittrick didn’t even notice. The wards were holding, for the people at least.
I nodded to the cats. “Tinkie, Winkie! Get her inside!”
Both cats stared at me, and then casually strolled to the porch, meowing loudly. Mrs. Kittrick stood up, speaking to them. I couldn’t hear what she said, but when both cats meowed and moved closer to the door, she put down her shears and followed them into the house.
A rolling black vapor, darker and more evil-smelling than the first plume came out of the crack and then a demon twice as tall as Ashlar and black as night appeared. He was gleaming, and his horns had to be six feet across. He was massive.
“Why have you called me?” He glanced around.
“Are you Sojin?” I asked politely. He seemed more annoyed than anything else, and I didn’t want to piss him off.
“I am. Why do mortals wish for my presence? Why am I here, Ashlar?”
Ashlar bowed his head. “I believe the mortals wish to register a complaint.”
“That is not unusual.” Sojin looked over at the seven of us, apparently missing Beeval, his frown deepening. “Mortals often do. This is not for me to be concerned with.” He turned from us, and moved a step back toward the crack in the road.
I wondered how in the hell—pardon the pun—we were going to cover the cracks up?
“Wait!” Deirdre called. “We called you because we do have a complaint. Ashlar was dishonest in his fulfillment of the agreement. He cheated the humans who bargained with him.”
Sojin stopped. “Is this true, Ashlar? Do they believe you have not kept to your word?”
Ashlar shrugged. “Mortals always do. They whine about fairness when the contract between us was clear.”
“No, it wasn’t,” I said, stepping forward. “It was very much unclear. And Ashlar wrote it that way, exercising his part in it in a manner that benefited only him. He was not honest with the human.”
“Was it with one of you?” Sojin surveyed me, my sisters, the Deanas, and Zane. His eyes came to rest on Beeval. “You do not belong here, demon.”
“I s
tay,” Beeval said, his voice shaking a little. “Humans let me stay.”
“Why?” Sojin asked.
“We have our reasons,” I crossed my arms.
“The bargain was between me and their grandmother. The woman cheated me. I have come to extract payment.” Ashlar brought things back on track.
“He cheated her, right from the beginning.” Daniella interrupted.
Now Sojin just looked pissed. “Both sides are claiming the other cheated? Demons are free to do as they wish.” He looked at all of us with more annoyance, and a helping of scorn.
“Really? Even break their word?” I asked. “Because you guys have enough problems anyway, with being evil. This joker hits all the stereotypes.” I jerked my thumb at Ashlar. “I thought that a contract was binding once signed.”
Sojin sighed loudly, and when he exhaled, the sour smell of brimstone filled my nose.
“God,” Deana said. “They really do stink.”
Dee covered her nose.
“Do you have the contract?” Sojin asked.
“We do,” Deirdre said.
“Let me see it, mor—” He stopped, peering at us. “Not all of you are mortal. Ah. Witches.” He glared at Ashlar. “You made a bargain with witches?” He shook his head. “Give me the contract, witch,” Sojin finally finished his instruction to Deirdre, holding out a long arm that ended in massive hands and claws.
Deirdre walked forward, and handed him the contract. He read it silently. When he finished reading, he directed his words to Deirdre. “Where do you believe Ashlar has cheated?”
Ashlar made a noise of protest and Sojin held out a hand.
“He said that he would take their souls when they left this earth. That suggests when the body dies. The agreement was for immortality until the time my grandmother and mother chose to die. Ashlar showed up when my mother turned eighteen, and told my grandmother it was time to leave the earth. She said no, that’s not what it said. He told her that leaving the earth could happen many ways, and that he’d decided it was time. That was not in the contract. He bent the rules.”
“But your grandmother chose to die?”
“Not until some years later.”
“The witch Desdemona didn’t give me her and her daughter’s souls! She gave me two other women instead!” Ashlar yelled. “She did not fulfill her end of the agreement.”
“After you altered the terms of the agreement,” Sojin said. “The claims of the witches have merit. Why have I been called in this matter?”
“He took me to Hell as payment for being cheated. He took our mother as well, and put her in the River of Souls. He told me that he would never stop being an asshole and bothering our family ever, not until we were all dead. So not only does he want payment, he’s asking for interest, too! On a contract he screwed my grandmother over with!” I said loudly.
Ashlar’s expression was murderous. I’m sure he wanted to kill us all, me in particular. He was like a powder keg ready to blow. But he’d been yelled at once by Sojin; he kept his mouth shut this time around.
“I believe I can solve this problem,” another voice said.
We turned to see Granny’s ghost drifting along the front porch.
Chapter Twenty
“Desdemona!” Ashlar roared. “That is her! That is the cheat!” He toOkay a few steps toward our lawn, and Sojin, who was reading over the contract once more, flicked a hand in his direction, which shoved Ashlar back.
“You are the Desdemona Nightingale who signed this?” he asked Granny.
She nodded. “I am.”
“And were you expecting Ashlar to call on you when your daughter turned eighteen?”
“No.” Granny shook her head. “I assumed we would choose when we’d die. When he showed up, I had no interest in dying.”
“Who did you find to fulfill the bargain?”
“Two women who were dying. I agreed to help them in the manner they asked, and they agreed to go with Ashlar when he came.”
“You didn’t notice the difference between the witch and the mortals she supplied in her place?” Sojin cast a loaded glance at Ashlar, who paled under his boss’ scrutiny.
“They all look alike, these mortals. Even witches,” Ashlar said, but his defiance was not as prominent now.
“Sloppy,” Sojin said. “Very sloppy. How did you get out of Hell?” he asked me.
“What? Oh, I was able to break free, and escape through a tunnel,” I said.
“With no help?”
“I’m not stupid,” I said, unwilling to sell out Beeval.
“No, apparently not,” Sojin said, looking down at Beeval. He tapped his claws on the parchment. “What is your solution?” This was directed at Granny.
“My granddaughters have brought my spirit back. I will go with Ashlar now, on the condition that he leaves the rest of my descendants alone.”
“You do not make terms!” Ashlar shouted.
“Be silent,” Sojin snapped, and his eyes gleamed red. “I have been called here to settle a dispute. This means that I will decide what is to happen, and I will ask you for information as I need it.” The raw power that rolled off his words made my heart speed up. The danger was palpable.
This greasy dumbass was going to get us all blown up.
Ashlar shut up.
The silence stretched out as Sojin read the contract a third time, and then stared off into the distance. His face was impassive, the red gleam gone from his eyes. Finally, he looked back at us, and then Ashlar.
“Here is my decision. While I cannot fault you for claiming your fee early, you did not state it in the agreed-upon bargain. That was your mistake. The woman was within her rights to attempt to subvert your interpretation of the contract since you wrote it poorly.” He glared at Ashlar, who seemed to wilt down a foot.
“I do not like to give credit to the mortals, witches or no, but this one was smart and she provided you with two souls. The fact that they were not the specific souls you wanted—they were still two souls. And if you did not notice for many years, again, that is at your door. Now you have a third soul, part of the River, correct?”
Ashlar nodded. His fists were clenched by his sides, but he didn’t speak.
“You have more than what you originally agreed upon. For your stupidity, you will not get the soul of the woman who signed.” He nodded at Granny. “You have gotten more than you deserve, and this is your punishment for being stupid and allowing a human witch to outsmart you. You will no longer involve yourself with these humans. This bargain is fulfilled.” He rolled up the parchment.
“Then the immortal life I gifted your descendants is no more!” Ashlar raised his hands.
“No!” Granny shrieked, her ghost moving in front of us to block whatever he was about to do. “No! They must be allowed to keep the immortal life! Take me! I’ll go with him if he leaves things as they are!”
“No, witch! I shall suffer your cheating no longer!” Ashlar roared.
Deirdre, Daniella and I raised our hands. The magic swirled around us, and we were all ready to blast his greasy ass when Ashlar flew backwards, hitting a tree across the street from the house.
“I have made my decision,” Sojin said. “You broke the bargain. Worse, you were foolish in how you managed things. You were defeated in your attempts to cheat by the human witch. Yet you still collected two souls, and now have a third. You will bother the humans no longer, and you will not alter anything that has already been given.”
Holy shit.
“So now what?” DeAnna asked.
Sojin turned his gaze to her, and I could feel her fear rise off her. But she didn’t move, or back away, and I was proud of her.
“We are done here. Ashlar, you will come with me. You will not return here. This matter is closed,” Sojin said, moving to the crack in the road. He stopped. “Demon, if you choose to stay, you will not be able to return.”
I didn’t know what he was talking about until Beeval moved forward and bowed.
“Master Big Boss, Beeval stay here. No go back.”
“If that is your choice, then so be it.” He turned his back to us, waving his hand to where Ashlar was sprawled against a tree. Ashlar floated past us, glaring with such hate that I wanted to shrink from it. But I forced myself to stay still, and with far less drama when they showed up, both of the demons disappeared into the crack.
The vapors followed, thank goddess, leaving only a lingering smell of brimstone.
“What in the hell just happened?” I turned to look at everyone else. “We didn’t even need to use it!” I gestured at Deirdre.
“Into the house, girls,” Granny said, her face worried. “I don’t feel safe out here.”
“We need to fix that crack first,” Daniella said.
“Let’s do it,” I said, and the three of us, me, Daniella, and Deirdre, walked to the road. Together, we sent magic to the crack, sealing it from below. I didn’t feel good with a crack to Hell right in front of the house, but there was nothing to do but close it up and hope for the best. Hope that it didn’t become a tunnel or a shortcut out of Hell.
Once the road was sealed, we all went back into the house.
“We should probably call the city, and have them come and repair it. It looks like shit,” Deirdre said.
“Put it on the to do list, tomorrow maybe?” Daniella laughed a little.
We joined her.
“I feel like more should have happened,” Dee said. “That felt…”
“Anti-climatic?” Deana said.
“Yes!” I said. “It did. Like, I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop, or something, and Ashlar to show back up and say ‘Nope, suckers!’”
“No,” Beeval said, coming from the back of the house with Evil on his head. I hadn’t even seen him come in and go searching for Evil, but there he was. “Once Big Boss decide, no one go against. Ashlar not strong enough. He gone.”
“Really? You’re sure?” Daniella asked. “He won’t come back to bother us?”
“I don’t think that Sojin really cared,” Zane said. “I also don’t think he liked Ashlar very much.”
“You have to wonder if anyone likes that guy,” Deana said, shaking her head. “Gross doesn’t even begin to cover it.” She faced me. “And you got away from him. Desdemona, that’s amazing. I would have been scared into paralysis, or something.”
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