“That’s your suggestion? From the man who just said that the world has too much drama? You want me to poke the wounded bear with a stick?”
“Yup.” He grinned and then headed toward the porch where Rick waited with, if possible, an even darker scowl.
Oh damn.
Rick wasn’t ashamed to admit that he might be a little pissed as he watched fucking Holloway kiss Leigh. Sure, James had only briefly touched his mouth to her forehead, much in the same way Rick had seen her brother do. Yet, he was certain he’d seen a hint of…something just before Holloway had done so. Amusement? Challenge? That quick glance had been to see if he was still on the porch and watching. He’d bet money on it.
Had James wanted Rick to see the kiss or had he pulled back and not kissed her on the mouth because Rick was watching? Then after the flash of whatever and the kiss, Holloway had sauntered up to the door, whistling and smiling like a loon.
What. The. Hell.
Then Noah had taken a moment to speak with Leigh. Their conversation had been short, but when Leigh turned, her expression was no less perplexed. What were they talking about?
She’d probably just been impatient for news. He’d promised to contact her immediately if they found Addie, so she had to know they didn’t have her yet, but that didn’t mean the wait had been easy on her.
She’d likely been tied in knots the entire time they’d been gone. But why hadn’t she come to him? She always had in the past.
Unless they’d been talking about him?
Damn, he was tired of being fussed over. Granted, in the hospital he’d had the most beautiful caretaker in the world before his grouchiness sent her away.
And it hadn’t gotten by him that his men were neither idiots nor blind.
He had made it clear that he and Leigh were not involved and never would be. Technically, that meant she was available. A man couldn’t ask for a better example of all things beautiful. Steady. Loving.
Were they already moving in?
They had a right to, and no matter how difficult it would be for him to watch, he couldn’t say he blamed them. In fact, they’d be stupid not to.
He held the door open as she trailed behind everyone. When the crowd was inside, leaving the two of them on the porch, she stopped. “Anything at all?”
He closed the door, leaving them alone outside. “Nothing. The food, everything we dropped off that last time, down to every single bottle of water, was still there. She hasn’t been home.”
The pain in her eyes wrecked him. The graceful lines of her throat tightened as she swallowed. “I don’t know if that’s a bad sign or a good one.”
“Honestly? I don’t know, either. Until I learn differently, I’m just thankful that she’s staying away from there. With Marcus on the loose, that’s the last place she needs to be. She’s smart. She’s avoided us and him. It’s as reassuring as it is frustrating.” He stepped closer. “Are you joining us?”
She blinked hard and turned her head as if looking out over the farm. When she spoke, her voice sounded thick and strained. “No. I’ll just be in the way. I’ll let you guys do your thing. Thank you.” She turned to leave.
Something inside him broke at the torment in her words, and he forgot everything except his need to comfort her. He grabbed her hand, stopping her. “Hey. You don’t have to thank me.”
The muscles worked in her throat before she spoke. “I do. Not many men would expend this much time, money, and put so much at risk for someone they don’t know. She got to me, and it kills me that she’s out there alone. I mean, I know that there are thousands of kids out there on the streets, but she’s….”
“Yours. She’s yours. Leigh. Look at me.” He slid his hand to her nape and forced her to meet him face to face. The stark grief written in the lines of her lovely face gutted him. “It’s okay. She got to me, too. We’ll find her. I’m not giving up. Not ever.”
“I know.” She pulled away and jogged down the steps. Her soft words, even quieter as she stepped down to the lawn, incinerated what was left of his will. “I don’t want this madness to devour you, too. You don’t deserve that.” Her quiet words shredded him on the deepest level. He couldn’t stand it any longer. Stepping down off the porch, he quickly caught up with her. Gently grabbing her shoulder, he turned her into him.
Quiet, shuddering sobs rocked her soft body against his. Holding her tight, he absorbed her sweet, intoxicating scent. No woman had ever gotten to him the way she had. Her tears had the power to eviscerate him. Clueless, without any idea of how to erase her pain, he held on, waiting.
Stroking her back, he savored the gift of having her in his arms, even as he reminded himself that he couldn’t have this beauty in his life.
“I can’t work at all, can I?”
“No, I’m sorry. I won’t let you off the farm until we find Sutton. I know that’s taking so much from you, but it can’t be any other way.”
“Deep down, I know that. Even if I flexed my feminist muscles and argued that, Joe would take the same stance as you. In my head, I understand it all, but my heart is barely holding on.”
“I wish I could make this easier on you, on everyone.” He attempted to put a little distance between them, but he failed. “I can’t.”
“I’m trying so hard to stay out of the way and to be patient.” The grief in her voice increased his own. His black heart bled, but he could only imagine how worse it must feel to her infinitely softer one. He’d do anything to spare her this pain. “I know you’re doing everything in your power. I won’t ever be able to repay you, and I don’t want you to think that I’m impatient with you, but…”
“But what? Come on. Be straight with me, beautiful. No teasing. You know the rule.” He tipped her chin so she had no choice but to meet his gaze.
Her words tumbled out, a rapid-fire confession she had to expel before she lost her courage. “I don’t know if I can stand another wait like that. I mean, I know you can’t just rush in. Patience and planning and all that. It’s what makes you who you are. I just can’t handle the waiting. Makes me so anxious. I’m sick with it.” She stopped speaking, but he saw the rest in her eyes.
“Then I came home without her. That didn’t help.” He stared into her green eyes and made an enormous mistake. He spoke without thinking about possible repercussions. “Then come with us.”
Shock widened her eyes as her chin dropped. “What?”
“The next time we go out, come with us. As long as it’s a safe location, you can come on the next mission. If you can’t go in the field, then sit with Pete. It might actually help if she sees a familiar face among all the hulking men or can hear your voice over the coms.”
Instantly her features brightened with a Christmas morning smile. “Truly? You promise?”
Even as a dark sense of holy shit what have I done leached into his bloodstream, he smiled. “I promise.”
New tears filled her emerald eyes. Elated, she jumped up, wrapping her arms and legs around him.
He savored just one last moment of having her in his arms, breathed her scent into his lungs. Setting her down, he struggled to put some distance between them. Where was Pete and his damn mouth when he needed him?
An utter asshole, he patted her on the shoulder impersonally then turned his back on her and walked toward Trent’s. He didn’t know which memory of her would be harder to bear, the tears, the smiles or the look of shock when he’d dismissed her.
He knew he’d never shake the memory of having her in his arms. He’d bear that beautiful scar for the rest of his days.
Fucking. Hell. What have I done?
Chapter 9
Hours later, after everyone had gone, Rick left the cool air of Trent’s home and ventured into the humid evening. He’d made a point of walking down and around the Walker’s pond at least once a day, sometimes twice—once in the morning and again in the evening if he needed extra time to think. Needless to say, he’d been working the ever-loving hell out of his
leg.
The sun sank the final few inches below the horizon, painting the evening in shades of purple and gray. Neither the gorgeous scenery nor the pain in his leg could distract him from the memory of Leigh’s wet eyes. Every time he relaxed his guard, visions of her haunted him. Even in the brightest hours of daylight, he hadn’t been able to shake them. Each time he lifted his leg and every single time his foot touched the uneven ground, the roaring throb in his thigh reminded him of the countless acres of forest they’d traveled.
All for nothing.
For all their sakes, he needed to get this wrapped up.
Gray light reflected off the pond, transforming it into a giant’s mirror as he reached the slope’s bottom. He barely noticed the serene view or the sounds of crickets and frogs having a party. He carefully stepped over a fallen log on the pond’s far side and cursed the corner they’d been forced into.
As the light faded, fireflies—or lightning bugs, as Kylie called them—made their appearance. Flitting here and there, like glowing fairies in the grass and trees, even a practical man like him had to admit they looked magical.
He shook his head, freeing it of worthless whimsy.
Movement at the edge of his vision caught his attention and he turned. His breath caught and the world around him ceased to exist. On the opposite side of the pond, at the top of the rise, a siren sat atop a beast of a horse, reins in one graceful hand. A heavy, humid breeze blew by, pulling a strand of long hair with it. Not much more than a silhouette, he knew that utterly feminine form as well as he knew his own.
He’d certainly spent enough time admiring the long, lean lines and sleek curves.
His toes caught on a vine, twisting his ankle and wrenching his fatigued leg. Pain exploded in his already throbbing thigh. Stumbling, he crashed to the ground.
“Rick? Are you okay?” Leigh called out, her warm voice traveling through the warm air and across the pond. The sound of rustling grass moved closer and he pushed himself up off the ground to untangle his legs. “Hey. Are you all right?”
Standing, he brushed his palms clean and inwardly cursed himself. Any other time or circumstance and he had the agility of a damn cat. If he hadn’t been mooning over Leigh, he would have been just fine.
More proof that he needed to get as far away as possible from her.
Coming around the pond’s end, she urged the horse closer, making him feel like a clumsy fool. “I’m fine. I wasn’t watching where I was going.”
“Are you sure?” She stopped the enormous animal a short distance away. It flicked an ear and stared down its nose at him. Fireflies twinkled in the air around the woman and beast. Tilting her head, Leigh seemed to hold something back as she assessed him. “Would you like a ride up?”
Good god, she’s gorgeous.
“Ah. No. I’m good.” Like an idiot, to prove his point he stepped forward and his aggrieved wound screamed at him. He couldn’t quite control his wince as his leg wobbled and it took everything he had not to crumple to the ground.
She sighed heavily, as if he’d disappointed her somehow. “You know, I figured you for a better liar and a smarter man. Is it such a bad thing to accept a helping hand? I won’t bite. Promise.”
“No, but he might.” He nodded toward the beast she sat comfortably on.
Leigh looked down on him perplexed. “Tallahassee? She, not he. And she’s a great mount. Gentle and steady.”
“She’s huge.”
“She’s not really that big, but she’s a strong, reliable girl.” She’d been staying up at the Walker’s big house but had wandered down to talk with Kate. She’d been restless all day and looking for a distraction. With nothing else to do, she went down for a few minutes of girl time. They’d been sitting on Trent’s front porch when Trent had come out and suggested she take a ride.
He’d innocently remarked how pretty the pond was and how thick the lightning bugs were around it. Then he’d gone as far to suggest that she take Tallahassee, pointing out how even tempered and strong she was.
The sneaky man had known exactly what he was doing.
Tallahassee stood patiently beneath her and stared down at Rick as if she didn’t know what to make of him. Leigh didn’t know whether to strangle him for his stubbornness or admire him for his seemingly endless supply of willpower. “Would you like a ride up to Trent’s?”
Rick asked, “A ride?” He couldn’t have looked more shocked if she offered him a trip to the moon.
“Yes.” Leigh tried to sound neutral and not at all as if she weren’t talking down to a stubborn three-year-old, but she wasn’t sure she pulled it off. “Tallahassee and I can give you a ride up the rise and drop you at Trent’s. You really should give your leg a rest. You’ve done too much. After the hours you spent looking for Addie earlier? You should be horizontal.” She forced herself to stop there. As badly as she felt the need to do it, he wouldn’t appreciate her fussing over him.
He looked from her to the horse and back to her. “No. I’m fine.”
She couldn’t take it anymore. This polite, impersonal distance between them frustrated her to no end. Enough was enough. “Rick. Your leg is shaking so badly that it looks ready to collapse. Please let me help you. She’s strong enough to carry both of us. Promise.” She stared down and willed him to be reasonable.
He ran a hand through his dark hair and turn his head to look over the pond. Then he spoke to it, refusing to look at her. “I—”
“Don’t give me that bullshit. Man up and accept a helping hand for once.”
He turned his head from the pond and looked back to her, a crooked grin on his face. “Man up and accept help? How does that work?”
She dismounted from Tallahassee and, holding her reins in one hand, stepped closer to Rick. “It is possible to do such a thing. It takes a strong person to ask for help. No one in their right mind would look down on you for that.”
He stared down at her as if she were from another planet. “I don’t care what anyone thinks of me.”
“Then why won’t you accept help?” Unable to stop herself she cupped his jaw in her free hand.
He closed his eyes. “I just can’t. It’s not who I am.”
She shook her head. “Well, I have news for you, Superman. You don’t have a clue who you’re up against. Get. On.”
He smiled. “I don’t know about Superman. I’m pretty sure he never rode a horse.”
“Well, tonight, he’s going to.”
“You really expect me to ride that?” He looked at Tallahassee as if she might breathe fire at any moment.
“Her, not that. Tallahassee is her name and, yes, I expect you to ride her.” She took a small amount of pity on him and released his jaw. Taking his hand in hers, she drew him to stand beside her mount. “Put your hand here.” Not giving him a choice or chance to escape, she took his hand in hers and put it on the saddle. Damn, he smelled good. Even in the hot, humid evening, his scent made her hunger for far more than a few light touches.
Then it hit her. Whether this meeting had been pure chance or the product of Trent’s meddling, it didn’t mean she couldn’t use it to her advantage. “Put your foot here.” She patted his outer thigh and pointed to the stirrup. She let her hand linger on the hard muscle as she met his gaze.
In the dim evening light, a well of fathomless heat stole her breath. Something low in her belly flickered to life, warm and sultry.
“Leigh, baby.” Quiet and grim, he started and stopped as if he didn’t know what to say.
She swallowed the lump in her throat. He was worth the fight.
She battled the need to throw herself at him, beg him to see to reason. She called on the last few brain cells she had. Trailing her hand up to his waist, she kept the contact light, easy, but let him see her desire in her gaze. She might not be able to see it herself, but as much of it simmered inside her, she didn’t doubt that it was visible. She wanted to ask him why he thought her opinion didn’t matter. She wanted to know why he though
t he had to shoulder the weight of the world alone when he was surrounded by a team of capable, willing friends.
She wanted to know why he acted as if he needed atonement. Was she making assumptions? Maybe, but she didn’t think so. She’d lost count of the times she’d seen the shadows of guilt flash through his handsome features.
“All right, Clark. Mount up. She won’t move until we tell her to.” She ached to brush the lock of dark hair away from the nearly healed scrape at his temple. He’d needed a haircut before he’d been shot and it had only grown more unruly since. She loved the rakish look on him. She kept her hand light at his belt, waiting.
He looked at her in confusion. “Clark?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, Superman. You must have forgotten your disguise. No glasses.”
He grinned and shook his head. As he looked back at Tallahassee, his grin faded. She took a small measure of pity on him. “Is it horses that bother you or animals in general?”
“That obvious, huh?” He sighed as if he’d just confided his greatest weakness. “As silly as it sounds, I’ve just never spent much time around animals. We didn’t have any when I was growing up. After my mother passed away, I was sent away to school.” He shrugged. “I just don’t get them.”
She resisted the urge to tease him. “Well, you don’t have to understand Tallahassee. You have to trust her. She’s stronger than you and Noah combined. Or I’ll get Trent and have him drive down here to pick you up?” She grinned innocently. “I’m sure he’d love to come with the 4-wheeler and rescue you.”
“Witch.” The single word rang with something that sounded like admiration. “Fine. You got me. What do I do?” He sounded anything but convinced and her heart ached for the young boy who’d lost his mother and been sent away from his home and his remaining family.
Finding Leigh: Dark Horse Inc. Book 3 Page 9