by A. T Brennan
“Oh god!” She gasped. “Oh my god.”
It was the first orgasm she’d ever had from someone else and it had been almost overwhelming.
She reached up and pulled him down so she could kiss him
After a moment he groaned against her lips and pulled away from her. She watched as he pulled a condom out of his pocket and paused.
“I wasn’t planning this—” he started, motioning to the condom in his hand.
“It’s okay. I’m glad you have one,” she cut him off. She wanted to see him naked. She wanted to see all of him.
He nodded and stripped off his pants and boxers and then ripped open the condom.
Her eyes widened as she looked at him. She’d never seen a cock in person before, and as she looked at Ben she felt her breath catch. He was big, and she didn’t know how she would be able to take all of him. She watched as he rolled on the condom and then moved to lie over her.
“I’m sorry if I hurt you,” he said softly as he gave her a feathery kiss.
“It’s okay.” She was expecting it to hurt, she just hoped she would be able to stand it.
“I love you, Allie,” he said as he reached down and she could feel him pressing against her opening.
“I love you, Ben,” she whispered as he started to push into her.
This was it. This was the moment she would lose her virginity, and it was with the only boy she’d ever loved.
He moved slowly at first, but when he was about halfway in he grunted and almost slammed the rest of the way inside her.
She gasped as a sharp slice of pain cut through her, and cried out as she closed her eyes. That had really hurt, but she didn’t want him to stop. She wanted to feel all of him, and she wanted him to finish.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Allie.” He started to pull out of her.
“Wait.” She pulled him close, trying to hold him in place. “It’s okay. I just need a second.”
He nodded and held her close. He was shaking slightly and she knew it was taking a lot of control for him to wait for her to be ready.
When she felt the pain start to lessen and her body relax, she took in a deep breath and hugged him closer.
“Okay,” she whispered in his ear and he groaned against her as he began to move.
His thrusts were erratic and a little rough, but she just closed her eyes as she clung to him. Now that the pain was gone it felt wonderful, and she gasped as pleasure washed over her.
“Oh god, Allie.” He gasped as his grip on her tightened. “I’m going to—I can’t. Oh fuck!”
She felt him jerk against her as he cried out, and she clung to him, holding him in place. She needed to feel his body just then, and he propped himself up on his arms so he wouldn’t crush her as he held his body over hers.
She just held him, breathing heavily as she processed what had just happened.
Ben loved her, and they’d had sex.
It was almost surreal, and she blinked as he looked down at her.
“Wow.”
“It really was,” he agreed with a smile. “I love you so much, Allie.”
“I love you too, Ben.” She ran her hands over his cheeks and through his hair. “More than anything.”
He smiled and gave her a feathery kiss.
Just then two things happened at once—the door swung open, and there was a startled voice at the now wide open door.
“Dude!”
“Oh my god!” There was a second voice at the door, and it was the second voice that brought both Ben and Allie back to reality.
In shock they both turned to the door, and Allie felt like she was going to die of embarrassment.
Standing in the doorway was Josh, Ben’s prom ‘date’ and closest guy friend, and Ashley, the most popular girl at their school and the last girl Ben had slept with.
“Get the fuck out!” Ben finally managed to find his voice as he moved his body so he was covering her, blocking them from her view. “Out!”
“Sorry.” The door slammed closed and Allie felt like she was dying inside. She reacted out of instinct and started to push against him.
“Allie?”
“Oh god.” She shook her head and scrambled to sit up when he moved off her. “Oh my god.” She looked around, desperately searching for her clothes.
“I’m so sorry. I told Josh I was going to be here when the cruise was on, I should have put a note on the door, told him to stay out of the room.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry.”
She didn’t say a word as she pulled on her panties and searched for her bra. She was so embarrassed she wasn’t thinking clearly.
She found her bra with her dress and rushed over to them. Her hands were shaking so badly she had trouble putting it on. Ben pulled his boxers on and went to help her.
She managed to get the bra on and let him help her step into her dress and pull it up her body. It took a few tries but she was able to do up the halter straps as he zipped her in.
“Allie.” He grabbed her arms as she tried to push past him. “Allie, stop. You can’t leave this upset,” he said as he held her against the wall.
“Let me go. I can’t be here right now.”
“Allie, stop. Please.” He held her tighter as she tried to wrench herself from his grip. “Wait for one minute.”
She stopped struggling and looked at him. She could barely see through her unshed tears and was a step away from breaking down.
“Let me bring you home,” he said desperately, keeping his grip on her. “You can’t just run out like this. Not when you’re this upset.”
“I have to leave. I can’t deal with this. Not after what we did, then for that…” She shook her head and looked down at the floor. “I have to leave.”
“Just wait. Let me put some clothes on and I’ll take you home.”
She wiped her eyes and then nodded slowly.
After a moment he let go of her and went to a bag that was next to the bed. He pulled out a hoodie and handed it to her.
“You’ll feel better,” he said when she didn’t take it right away.
After a pause she took the sweater and slipped it on as he pulled out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. She waited as he pulled his clothes on, and when he was ready he reached out for her hand.
She took it after a slight hesitation and followed him as he started to leave the room.
They made it to the hallway before he stopped.
“Shit, I forgot my key card.” He shook his head. “I’ll be right back.”
She nodded and leaned back against the wall as he disappeared into the room.
“Thanks for the show.”
Allie heard the voice in front of her and her eyes snapped open. Ashley was standing in the doorway to the room across the hall looking beautiful and perfect in her ice blue gown.
“And thanks for warming him up for me,” she added with a cold smile. “You know it was me he was thinking about, right?”
Allie stared at her in shock.
“Who do you think he invited to come over after the cruise?” Ashley asked with a wink before she stepped back into her room and closed the door.
Allie felt like her heart was breaking. Ben had invited Ashley to his room after? He’d been planning on having sex with Ashley this whole time?
She couldn’t stop the sob from bubbling out of her chest and she took off down the hall, not even noticing she hadn’t put her shoes on and had left them in the room.
“Allie!”
She heard Ben shouting to her but she didn’t stop. He caught up with her at the elevator and grabbed her arm. “Allie, what’s wrong?”
“Did you tell Ashley to come to your room after the cruise?”
“No, why?”
“Then why was she at your room? Why was she there?” she demanded.
“Allie—”
“Why was she there?”
“I don’t know. Where is this coming from?”
Just then the doors to the elevator op
ened and she wrenched her arm out of his grasp and darted inside.
He hurried in after her and waited until the doors had slid closed before he turned to her.
“Where did that come from? Why would you think I asked her to come to my room?”
“She’s the last girl you slept with.” She looked away, trying to stop the tears that were still gathering in her eyes. “She came to your room, she said…”
“What did she say?” he demanded when she broke off.
“She said you were thinking about her. That you’d asked her to come to your room.” She shook her head as tears slipped over her cheeks and dropped onto the front of her dress. “She thanked me for the show and for warming you up for her.”
“Allie.” He gripped her arms. “None of that is true,” he said fiercely. “I swear to you, none of that is true.”
She shook her head. “I can’t deal with this, not right now.”
The bell in the elevator dinged, telling them they’d reached the main lobby. Instead of saying anything he grabbed her hand and moved away from her. She didn’t try to shake his hand off, but as soon as he moved she pushed past him and headed out of the elevator. He followed her out into the lobby, keeping a tight grip on her hand as he did. When they were outside he pulled her to a stop.
“Allie, please listen to me,” he begged as she tried to turn from him. “We’ve been best friends for ten years. I’ve never lied to you, never about something important.”
She looked up at him and brushed the tears from her cheeks with the back of her free hand.
“I didn’t ask Ashley to come to the room. I never would have even if I had gone on the stupid cruise instead of hanging with you. I never thought about her or anyone else, not even for a second while we were together. I love you, Allie. I wanted to be with you and you’re the only person I ever think about. Do you believe me?”
“I want to. But it’s just too much to deal with right now.”
“Please believe me. Don’t leave like this.”
“I need time.” She shook her head. “I need time to process everything.”
“Let me take you home—”
“I’ll be fine. I just need some time.”
“I’ll come over tomorrow afternoon. We’ll talk it out after we’ve slept and—”
“I’ll call you,” she cut in. “Mom will be home tomorrow and I can’t deal with her hitting on you, not on top of all of this.”
“Okay, but please, promise you’ll call.”
“I’ll call.”
“If you only ever believe one thing I’ve ever said to you, please believe I love you, Allie.”
“I love you too, Ben. I could never lie about that.”
“Neither could I.”
Ben bent his head and kissed her. She felt wonderful and perfect against his lips, but she was holding back.
He pulled away from her and looked down the circular driveway of the hotel. There was a cab sitting and waiting. He gripped her hand and pulled her over to it.
“Are you free?” he asked the cabbie as the passenger window was lowered and he bent to look inside.
When the cabbie nodded he helped Allie get into the car and then leaned back down to look through the window as he pulled his wallet out of his pocket. He gave the cabbie her address and more than enough to cover the fair and stepped back as the car was started up.
He looked at her through the window and raised his hand in a silent wave.
After a moment she raised her hand back to him and the cab slowly took off down the driveway. He watched until it had turned onto the street and disappeared before he rubbed his hands over his eyes and sighed.
The night had started out shitty but had gotten better the moment he’d seen her. Being with her had made it the best and most perfect night of his life, and it had ended as one of the worst.
After counting to ten he headed back into the hotel. He was so angry he was seething. Josh opening the door had been an honest mistake. He hadn’t kept watch on the time and Josh had no idea he’d be in a delicate position.
The part that was really bothering him was Ashley. Why the hell had she been at his door, and why would she lie to Allie?
He waited as the gilded elevator made its way back down to the lobby and took it back up to the tenth floor. He tried to calm his rage as he marched up to Ashley’s room and knocked.
“Hey, lover.” She grinned as she opened the door and looked him up and down.
“Why the hell did you tell Allie I asked you to come to my room?”
“Didn’t you?” She gave him an innocent smile.
“No, I didn’t.”
“A few days ago you said we should all come over after the cruise and have a little after party.”
“A bunch of us in a room having a few drinks is a hell of a lot different than me asking you to come to my room alone.”
“Is that how she took it?” Ashley smirked. “Poor little virgin—oh wait. You took care of that, didn’t you?”
“Watch how you talk about her.”
“What, is she your girlfriend now?”
“What happens between me and Allie is none of your business.”
“Can you really say that when I saw you on top of her?”
“Ashley—“
“Don’t bother telling me to keep it quiet. Everyone already knows.” She gave him a contemptuous look. “You fucked me, dropped me, and hooked up with the skank virgin? Pathetic”
“How can someone be a skank and a virgin?”
“Look at who she comes from. She’s not like us, Ben. Her family is trash. Her dad is a loser and her mom is a whore. You know she fucked Jimmy Callahan a few weeks ago, right? How many does that make? Six, seven guys in our class alone?”
“Allie isn’t her mother.”
“The trash doesn’t fall far from the can.”
“Ashley—“
“Are you sure she was actually a virgin? I mean, was there blood?”
“What?”
“Lots of chicks ‘lose’ their virginity more than once. You just tell a guy it hurts, pretend like you’ve never done it before and voila, he thinks he’s the first one in.”
Ben just stared at her in disbelief as she talked. Ashley was gorgeous, there was no denying that. Her long blonde hair, beautiful features and tanned and toned body made her look like a model, not a high school senior. He’d always thought she was hot and he’d enjoyed being with her, but at that moment her beauty was being overshadowed by her ugly personality.
“Her mom treats that house like a revolving door of dicks. What’s to say little Miss Allie isn’t taking her sloppy seconds?”
“Leave her alone. We’re done here.”
Ben turned on his heel and stomped into his room. He didn’t really feel like he’d won that confrontation, and now everyone would know about them. He went over to the ice bucket and grabbed the bottle of wine. There wasn’t much left but he didn’t care. He needed a drink.
He drained what was left in the bottle and flopped down on his bed, staring at the ceiling as his mind began to wander.
He’d been telling Allie the truth. When he’d planned this night he’d never considered sleeping with her, but not because he hadn’t wanted to.
They’d been best friends for ten years, and in all that time she’d never made any indication that she had feelings for him. The first time she’d gotten drunk they’d been at his house. His parents had been gone for the weekend and his sister had been at her friends. They’d cracked open a bottle of peach schnapps and before long Allie had been giggling and confessing all of her secrets to him. She’d told him how she thought he was handsome and the best looking guy at school, but hadn’t said anything about wanting to be with him.
Thankfully he hadn’t gotten as drunk as her. If he had then he probably would have confessed how much he wanted her and how much he liked her, and had for a long time.
Allie was gorgeous. Ever since he started to notice girls he’d n
oticed her. He’d fantasized about her, dreamed about her, and for years he’d wanted more from her. He’d never acted on his desires because he hadn’t wanted to risk losing her if she didn’t feel the same way. For years he’d been waiting for some sort of sign from her before trying to move forward.
Now that he’d held her in his arms, had kissed her and had his hands on her body, he needed more. Being with her had been incredible. He’d had partners before her, but it had never been like it was with her. Before, he’d felt physical pleasure, but when he’d been with Allie the physical had taken a backseat to the emotional.
He loved her. He’d never loved any girl other than her in his life, and she loved him too. To hear her say the words had almost been too much for him, and that connection had heightened everything.
When he’d looked down at her she’d been the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. Her lips had been a little swollen and shining pink from his kisses, her hair had been messy from his hands and her eyes had sparkled as her cheeks flushed. Plus there was a look in her eyes. She’d looked up at him with a mix of wonder and trust, and there had been desire in there too.
Everything about the moment had been perfect, until the door had opened and shattered their safe little cocoon.
He didn’t blame Allie for being humiliated, or for being upset at what Ashley had said to her. He just hoped she would have a clear mind after getting some sleep tonight. She always calmed down after a good night’s sleep.
A part of him was worried she hadn’t felt what he had. He knew she’d wanted it and had enjoyed him before they’d actually had sex. He’d hurt her, that much had been obvious, and while he hated having to do it, the fact that she’d chosen him to be her first meant a lot to him.
Allie had waited to share her body with someone, and she’d chosen him. He hadn’t been so choosy. He’d lost his virginity at fifteen and had had almost half a dozen partners in the last three years. His standing in the popular crowd made it expected and acceptable for him to act that way, but he wasn’t sure if he’d done it because he’d wanted to, or because he thought he was supposed to.
He shook his head and closed his eyes as he pulled in a deep breath. What had started out as the most amazing and perfect night he could have ever imagined had been ruined by a stupid door.