by Cathie Linz
Probably not.
Jake drove as far as the state border with New Jersey before he realized that Newark Airport might not be the closest exit route. Maybe he should have driven to Philadelphia or Pittsburgh and caught a flight from there.
Today was the first of July. No snow in these parts but plenty down in the Andes. It was time for him to test his strength and get back on a snowboard again. Time to prove to himself that he still had what it takes, if not to race competitively then to face his fears.
Let Emma put that in her damn book. He’d e-mail her a picture of him back on the slopes with a couple of snow bunnies at his side.
Aw, hell. Who was he kidding here? He wasn’t facing his fears, he was running from them.
He was smart enough to know that it wasn’t just the book deal that freaked him out. It was the fact that he’d somehow fallen for Emma. As in fallen in love. L-O-V-E. A freaking four-letter word to him. Because the few people he had loved ended up dead.
Just like Emma had almost ended up dead when that pickup had headed right for her. It might have taken a few days for it to sink in with him but eventually it had. And then there was the big family gathering with Lulu saying how the thought of losing Zoe made her feel closer to her mom.
He was glad for them both.
But having Emma nearly killed didn’t bring him closer to her. Instead it scared the shit out of him. Made him want to head for the hills. Hop on the nearest flight and not look back.
Her book deal had given him the perfect excuse to do just that.
She hadn’t set him up. She didn’t have a devious bone in her body. He, on the other hand, had plenty. He had devious down to an art form.
Not that he’d deliberately used the book thing as an excuse to dump her. He wasn’t that much of a bastard. He’d honestly been stung by her news that she was doing a book on risk takers. And he had honestly wondered if she had used him.
But now that he had some time to think on it, he no longer believed that.
All this thinking made Jake hungry. He needed a burger. He pulled off the expressway at the next exit and got a Big Mac, large fries, and a soda. He saw the Dr Pepper logo on the dispenser and flashed back to Emma’s face. “Aw, hell.”
Go back, a voice inside his head told him.
Go to Peru, another voice said.
His inner argument escalated as he ate his Big Mac.
Go freaking back!
Go to freaking Peru!
What should he do? He should probably just eat his burger and stop all this conflicted thinking stuff. Easier said than done.
His choice should be clear, but it wasn’t. Heading for the slopes with a snowboard had always been the answer for him in the past. Risk was addictive. He knew that. He’d lived it.
And nearly died doing it. But the urge was still there. Part of him wanted to hit the slopes ASAP.
The other part of him wanted to return to Emma. Emma, who could be both fragile and fierce.
She might look like she needed protection but he knew that she could kick ass if she really needed to. She’d kick his ass big time if he went back.
He’d hurt her badly, and that was the thing he regretted the most. He’d lashed out at her in a blind panic, like an animal caught in a trap.
But it was a trap of his own making, not Emma’s.
Maybe he should just hit the road and keep going. Maybe she was better off without him.
What did he have to offer her? She was a smart woman with a bunch of degrees. He’d never attended college. She came from a loving family. Strange maybe, but loving. He’d grown up in foster care learning to depend on no one but himself.
But Jake had a family now. That still felt weird to him. He had no experience with long-term relationships or with family stuff. What if he messed up?
Hell, he’d already messed up with Emma.
What if he didn’t know how to make amends? What if she refused to have anything to do with him anymore? What if she kicked his sorry butt from PA to Peru? What then?
Only one way to find out.
Emma wanted to cancel the presentation she’d promised to give at the community center about her research, but then everyone would think she was a mess because Jake dumped her.
That was unacceptable. So she showed up two hours early to make sure she got everything prepared. She had a room with a blackboard. The smell of chalk was reassuring to her, reminding her of her job back in Boston.
Her hand was steady as she wrote “Keys to Small Town Successes” and then “1) Adopt a Can-Do Attitude” on the blackboard.
Yeah, right. That can-do attitude hadn’t helped her avoid getting her heart battered by Jake.
He’d not only walked out on her, but he’d also left town. He’d probably done her a favor, showing her what he was really like before she fell even more in love with him than she already was. She just needed to change her frame of reference here.
She tested the words, saying them out loud. “It’s a good thing.”
“What is?”
She pivoted to find Jake standing in the doorway.
“You dumping me.” She was so proud of how steady her voice sounded even if her heart was racing a mile a second. “It was a good thing.”
“No, it wasn’t.” He entered the meeting room, closing the door behind him. “It was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, and trust me, I’ve done plenty of stupid things.”
“I’m sure you have.”
“I came back.”
“I can see that.” She turned her back on him and continued writing on the blackboard.
“Don’t you want to know why?”
“Not really, no.”
“I’ll tell you anyway.”
“Don’t bother. I’m not interested.”
“You want me to grovel. I get that. I really messed up. I hurt you.”
“I’m over it.”
“I’m not.”
“Your problem, not mine.”
“Can you put that chalk down a minute and talk to me?”
She kept writing.
“Please?”
She turned and threw an eraser at him. It hit him smack in the middle of his black T-shirt leaving a puff of white chalk powder before falling to the floor. “How dare you! How dare you come back here and try to act all charming like nothing happened.”
“I’m so sorry. Forgive me.”
“Forget it. You’re not going to nail this brainy girl ever again.”
“You scared me.”
“Yeah, right,” she angrily scoffed. “The man who’s not afraid of anything. The extreme sports guy who only feels alive if he’s courting death.”
“I’m telling the truth.”
“And I’m telling you I don’t give a . . . a rat’s rectum.”
“Will you at least let me try and explain.”
“No, I don’t think I will. Aren’t you afraid I’d print your explanation in my supposedly tell-all book about you?”
“No. I trust you.”
“Well, I don’t trust you. How could I after what you’ve done? And how can you say you trust me when you never told me your real reason for coming to Rock Creek? It wasn’t to build a sports resort. It was to find your birth mother. Lulu told me. Don’t worry. She swore me to silence about it.”
“I only discovered Zoe was my birth mother a few days ago.”
“That doesn’t change the fact that you knew all along that you’d come here to find her but you never told me, never said a word. And that was before you knew about my book so you can’t use that excuse. You didn’t tell me because I didn’t matter to you.”
“Don’t put words in my mouth.”
“Somebody has to since you never talk about the things that are the most important to you.
Except for extreme sports. Sometimes you’ll talk about that.” She reigned in her anger and fell back on her logic. “You do realize that the intense excitement or stress you experience while doing all those wild extr
eme sports things releases a flood of dopamine to your brain, creating a feeling of well-being, right?”
“So?”
“So taking risks is a way of keeping the dopamine flowing. The behavior becomes addictive.”
“You like being logical.”
“Yes.”
“It excites you, being logical, right? So you’re addicted to logic because it keeps your dopamine flowing. See? We’re not that different after all.”
“Yes, we are. We are totally different. You love taking risks. I avoid them.”
“I love you. I didn’t see it coming. I knew you were special and that I cared about you more than I ever had about a woman before, but I didn’t know I was in love with you until I was.
And by then it was too late.”
“Too late for what?”
“To protect myself.”
She saw the vulnerability in his golden brown eyes, but she was afraid to believe it. She had to protect herself. She couldn’t risk getting hurt again. Could she?
“It hit me at McDonald’s,” he said. “I was headed for the closest airport, planning on going to an alpine resort in Peru and proving that I could get back on a snowboard. Then I saw the Dr Pepper logo and bam, that was it. Was I going to keep on running scared, or was I going to bare my soul to you and risk you stomping my heart to bits? Did I . . . did I really have the balls . . . the courage to do that?”
Her eyes shimmered with tears at his halting words. This was no smooth-talking charmer out to nail her. This was a man spilling his guts to her. A man who hated revealing his inner thoughts and emotions. “That was it?”
Jake nodded. “I knew I loved you. Knew I had to come back and fight for you.”
“Seeing the Dr Pepper logo made you realize you love me?”
“Yeah. Sounds stupid, I know,” he muttered.
It was the first time she’d ever seen him embarrassed. She doubted it would be the last. Her sisters and mom would see to that if she let him back into her life. Could she really do it?
Could she take a chance on him?
“Okay, now I know you’re telling the truth because no one could make up a story like that.
But how long until you take off again?”
“Don’t you get it? I’m more addicted to you than I am to extreme sports. You’re scared. I get that.
I’m scared too. All the people I care about die.” Jake’s voice was rough with pain. “That’s why I lit out of here the way I did. Because when I saw that truck headed straight for you . . . Hell.” He rubbed his hand over his face as if to erase that awful image. “That’s really when I knew I loved you, but I didn’t want to admit it even to myself.”
“It took Dr Pepper to make you see the light, huh?”
“Yeah.” For the first time since walking into the room, he looked hopeful.
For the first time she felt hopeful.
She might still be uncertain about a lot of things in her life, but she was sure that Jake was the man for her.
“Did you lock the door?” she asked.
“What?”
Emma walked over, locked it, and pulled down the shade on the door’s window.
Jake eyed her warily. “Do you plan on beating me with an eraser?”
“Have you been a bad student?” she asked in a sultry voice.
He grinned. “Yes, I’ve been very, very bad, teacher.”
She placed her hands on his muscular chest and back-stepped him up against the blackboard.
“You’re getting chalk on your T-shirt. Maybe we should take it off.”
“Are you just after my body?” His tone of voice was teasing, but there was an underlying thread of uncertainty there.
“I’m after your heart.”
“You already have it,” he vowed.
She kissed him. How could she not after a confession like that? He returned her kiss with fervent hunger and a newfound tenderness that he hadn’t expressed before. Off went his T-shirt. Off went her prim white blouse. Down went the zipper on his jeans. Up went her flowery summer skirt.
Emma reached into the back pocket of his jeans. “What are you looking for?” he murmured against her lips.
“A condom.”
He shifted her hand to his black briefs. “Look here.”
She moved her fingertips against his arousal. “How can you store a condom there?”
“I can’t. I just couldn’t go another second without you touching me.”
“Touching you like this?”
He growled his approval then moaned as she shoved his briefs completely out of her way.
He removed her panties with haste before brushing his thumb through the crisp curls guarding her moist feminine core. Tenderly, skillfully, erotically he caressed her until her knees trembled and pulses of sexual joy shot through her.
“Now,” she said. “I need you inside me now.”
He fumbled for his wallet, where he’d stashed a few condoms the last time they’d made love. She was the one who confidently rolled it on him, adding a few feathery caresses along the way.
Shaking with need, Jake slipped his hands beneath her bare bottom and lifted her in his arms so she could wrap her legs around his waist. Seconds later he entered her with a glorious rush. She was eye to eye with him, staring into his glorious golden brown eyes, watching him watching her.
The very first time she’d met him his brooding eyes made her think of orgasms.
And now here she was, merged with him in the most intimate of embraces. He moved deep within her, increasing her pleasure tenfold. Her hands clutched his bare shoulders. Her breasts were pressed against his bare chest.
He turned, pinning her between his body and the blackboard as he increased the rhythm of his powerful thrusts. Her orgasm slammed into her, the walls of her vagina clenching around him with fierce bliss.
Jake captured her scream with his mouth even as he captured her body with his. He arched against her as he reached his own climax.
When he finally lowered her to stand on her own she had to cling to him for a moment to regain her balance. Her skirt covered her naked lower torso, which still vibrated with the memories of sexual joy.
“I think we broke the blackboard,” she noted unsteadily.
“You’ll have to marry me now.”
She blinked. “What did you say?”
“You heard me. Marry me. Please.”
She stared at him in shock.
“What? You want me to go down on my knees to propose?”
She remained speechless.
“Okay. I’ll have to adjust a few things first . . .” He rearranged his briefs and jeans and then knelt before her. He gazed up at her with love in his eyes and a wickedly sexy devil in his heart as he caressed her ankle with his fingertips. “Emma . . .”
He slid his fingers up to the back of her knee and caressed her there.
“Emma . . .”
His fingers climbed higher beneath her skirt to the softness of her bare thighs, to the cave of her sex.
“Emma, will you marry me?”
“Are you trying to distract me with sex?”
He blinked at her and removed his hand.
“No, don’t stop.” She brought his hand back to her most intimate place and moved against his fingers. “Tell me why I should marry you. Besides the incredible, mmmmm, awesome sex . . . yes, right there, mmmmm.” She gripped his shoulder to stay upright and not collapse in a heap on the floor as she luxuriated in the undulating passion he was creating within her.
“Because . . . I love you and . . . you love me . . . and we were meant to be together.
Because I love the way you snort when you laugh. Take a chance on me.” He stopped caressing her. “Oh God, now I sound like an ABBA song.”
Emma laughed and tugged him to his feet. “Yes, I’ll marry you. That romantic proposal was too good to turn down. You’re too good to turn down.”
He put his arms around her. “I’m not letting you go.”
“You’re sure? Your logical side won’t talk you out of it?”
“Are you sure? Your risk-taking side won’t talk you out of it?
“Never.” He pulled her close. “I found what I’ve been looking for. Jeez, now I sound like U2.”
“Then I guess we should stop talking.”
“You are so smart.”
“Yes, I am,” she said with the confidence of a woman who is well loved. “And so are you.”
Epilogue
One year later, Jake’s custom-built log home outside Rock Creek
“Out of all the places you could have gotten married—Aspen, Peru, Boston, even Stanley, Idaho—you pick this.” Maxie shook her head. “Who gets married on top of a mountain?”
“It’s not a big mountain,” Emma said.
“It’s big enough.” Maxie rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe you’re marrying Jake on top of Gobsmacked Knob.”
Emma grinned. “Just be thankful we didn’t go with the glacier in Alaska plan, with everyone being flown in to the site by helicopter.”
“I must say, we’ve certainly had more than our fair share of weddings around here,” Maxie said.
After her sisters’ weddings, the marriage bug had taken hold in Rock Creek with winter weddings for Cosmic Comics store owner Algee and English high school teacher Tameka, as well as for Skye’s grandmother Violet and funeral home director Owen Dunback.
Nancy Crumpler eloping with mayor Bart Chumley had surprised everyone since no one even knew they were dating.
But it was her own wedding today that held Emma’s attention. The sunlight glinted off her engagement ring—a princess-cut diamond solitaire. The ceremony was going to take place in a mountain meadow covered in wildflowers and surrounded by trees. Only family and close friends would be attending.
“I was glad to see Lulu back in town. I can’t believe she’s got a graphic novel coming out next year. She and Oliver seem happy in Boston. You don’t miss teaching in Boston, do you?” Maxie asked.
Emma shook her head. “I enjoyed it while I did it, but it wasn’t the right fit for me.”
“And what you’re doing now is?”