“Fuck.” He pulled away and slammed a fist on the wall beside her. “I lost it out there. You in that dress showing so much skin, drinking, the brothers looking at you like they wanted to fucking eat you up, then Tank just blew off the lid…” He pressed his body against hers. “That doesn’t happen to me. I am always in control.”
“Except when you open yourself up. You let them see the real you, Zane. You shared something about yourself. There’s nothing wrong with that.” Evie ground her hips against the bulge in his jeans, her pulse pounding as Zane unraveled in the darkness. He had never shared his feelings except that one night they were together, never bared himself the way she did when things went wrong, and now that he had shown himself to his brothers, to her, he clearly couldn’t handle it. Emotions couldn’t be controlled and Zane was always in control.
“Take me,” she whispered. “Take what you need from me.”
“You don’t understand.” He groaned. “There’s a side of me … I’ll hurt you.” He released her and pushed her toward the stairs. “Go upstairs and lock the door.”
A shiver ran up her spine. “You want me to run from you?”
His entire body shuddered, like he was fighting something that grew larger by the second. “Evie.” His voice dropped to a warning growl. “Run.”
She made a split second decision and then kicked off her shoes and took off, a grin splitting her face. Her bare feet pounded on the concrete hallway and she hit the door to the parking lot at full tilt. He wanted her to run, so she’d run. But not in the way he expected. Because she understood—the loss of control to passion, emotion so intense it overwhelmed, the instinct of a predator to chase its prey.
As she surged forward, she felt the rush of adrenaline she hadn’t felt in years, the freedom of baring herself to the night.
“Evie. Come back.”
She crossed the parking lot and ran into the small field behind the shop, praying there wasn’t anything sharp in the grass. Warehouses dotted the commercial area around her; giant, corrugated metal structures surrounded in barbed wire. Spotlights, streetlights, and the bright moon gave her a clear view of the soft grass underfoot. She veered over to a small thicket of trees, hoping to find more cover. Although she worked out a few times a week, the thrill of fear coursing through her body ratcheted her pulse up to a level that would have made her kickboxing teacher proud.
Chase me.
And he did. The door slammed open, clanging against the metal wall, and she heard him call her name, this time with a growl of determination that sent a delicious shiver up her spine. This was her game now. She was in control. If she wanted him to catch her, she could slow down her pace. If she wanted him to chase her, she could pick up speed. If she wanted to hide, she could head for the dense underbrush ahead. He was hers to command. Zane, VP of the Sinner’s Tribe. Dark warrior. First love. The man who had stolen her heart.
Chase me. Chase me. Chase me.
Her heart pounded furiously with each footfall, her speed hampered by her tender feet and the fabric of her dress. She heard him call, nearer now, his voice echoing in the stillness, but now that she was going she couldn’t stop. Not until he caught her. And God, she wanted him to catch her. But first he had to prove himself worthy of his reward.
Evie laughed as she ran, drawing in breaths of air scented with pine and a hint of diesel. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt such a rush, fear and excitement mixed into a heady cocktail that made her heart race and her sex throb.
Exhilarating. Had Zane felt like this the night she chased him through the forest? Had he run in anticipation of being caught, as she did now, or had he run in fear? Had he succumbed to her desires simply because she brought him down?
The crack of a tree branch behind her made her kick up her pace, every step a delicious thrill that made her heart flail against her ribs, her body tense in anticipation of the moment he caught her.
“Jesus. Fuck. Evie.” With a grunt, he lunged, his shoe just brushing the back of her heel. Finally, blissfully, his hand closed around her neck. She tensed for the impact, but he pulled her against him and rolled, taking her to the ground in the cradle of his arms. She almost came at the surge of adrenaline that accompanied her capture, her legs shaking so violently, she was grateful when he rolled again, positioning her on all fours in the cool grass, covering her with his body.
“Need you.”
Evie looked over her shoulder. His eyes glittered in the semi-darkness, his face masked by shadows.
“Yes.”
Zane shoved her dress roughly over her hips, then tore her panties away with an animalistic growl. “Now. Can’t wait.”
Evie’s body flared to life, seized by a lust unlike anything she’d felt before. Zane reached around and cupped her breast, his thumb rubbing over her nipple until it peaked beneath her bra.
“More,” she rasped. “Take off my dress.”
“Like the dress. Naughty dress. So fucking hot it drives me outta my mind. Wanna fuck you in this dress, but I won’t be gentle.”
She wished she could see his face, although the torment in his voice told her what she needed to know. “If I wanted gentle, we wouldn’t be here.”
He groaned and kicked her legs apart with his thigh, sending a shock wave of pleasure through her belly. His big body pressed hard against hers, and Evie trembled in anticipation, her ragged breaths the only sound in the still of the night.
“Mine.” He swept her hair aside and pressed his lips against her nape, his teeth scraping over her skin. Sweat broke out at the base of her spine and spasms contracted her inner muscles. The men she’d been with since Zane had been nice, kind, but dull in the bedroom. Mark, in particular, had been appalled at her suggestions for spicing things up, and she’d resigned herself to the most traditional positions, taking her own pleasure in private to fantasies of rough men and even rougher sex.
“Harder.” She rocked back against him, grinding her ass into his huge erection.
He hissed out a breath. “I came to the shop tonight thinking last night shouldn’t have happened, that we had too much hurt between us. Then I saw you and I couldn’t think anymore. I don’t know how we got to be here, but if you don’t want this, tell me now.”
“I want this. I want you.”
He nipped her shoulder, his body covering hers, keeping her warm despite the chill of the night air. A bird fluttered above them and the pine boughs swayed in a silent breeze, scenting the night with a fragrance both fresh and sensual. Primal.
Evie spread her knees wider, inviting. This was how it should be. In the forest, the way they had first come together. But rough instead of gentle; hard instead of sweet. They weren’t the same people anymore, no longer innocent in any sense of the word. She wanted Zane the way he truly was; she wanted the side he had kept in the shadows, the way he was now. All man. All biker. All beast.
“Ah, sweetheart,” his breath whispered over her skin, sent a shiver down her spine. “You do that, and I can’t get you ready for me.”
“I am ready for you.” If she were any wetter she’d be dripping on the grass. “Touch me.”
He palmed her cleft, sliding his fingers through her folds. With a groan, he pushed one finger inside and her body clenched around him.
“So hot. So wet.”
She heard the rattle of the chain on his belt, the soft slide of leather and the harsh rasp of a zipper. Unable to hold back, she looked over her shoulder and watched as he released his shaft, huge and heavy, the tip gleaming wet in the moonlight. She wanted to take him in her mouth, as far he could go, wrap her hand around his straining length, and suck him until he lost control.
“Evie…” His warning growl sent a bolt of lust straight to her clit. God, she wanted to tease him, torment him, make him punish her again like he had with that slap. Her pussy clenched and she wiggled her ass. How could she make him slap her again?
“You wanna be spanked, sweetheart?” He dug a condom from his pocke
t, tore it open, and sheathed himself. “You want me to punish you for running away?” He smacked her cheek so hard she caught her breath. The burn spread across her skin turning into pure, delicious sensation by the time it reached her clit, and she bit back a low groan.
“Yes, she does,” he murmured to himself. “She’s a fucking naughty girl, but that’s all she’s gonna get.” He thrust a thick thigh between her legs, opening her for him. Evie ground her sex against the delicious friction of his denim.
In her entire life she’d never felt as wanton as she did now, uninhibited, free. After Mark, she’d resigned herself to casual relationships, keeping her encounters brief and focused on only one thing. No risk of relying on a man to look after her. No risk of staying too long when she needed to walk away. But it was different with Zane. She’d been down that road with him before, knew where it led. There was a comfort in inevitability, and if she had doubts along the way, if occasionally he broke through the walls around her heart, she could shore them up with the memories of the nights she’d sat up waiting for him to come back, and the sunrises that crushed her hopes for yet another day.
“Gonna fuck you, sweet Evie.” His voice dropped to a husky rasp. “Gonna bury myself so deep you’re gonna feel empty every time I pull away. I wanna hear you scream. I want you to come for me.”
“Lotta talking,” she said, her voice thick with desire. “Not a lot of doing.”
His hands tightened on her ass and he entered her with one hard powerful thrust. She could feel his body shaking all around her. He was trying to hold back, and although she didn’t know if she could take any more, with his huge, hot cock throbbing inside her, she pushed back against him, taking him deeper.
“You feel so good,” she whispered. “So hard. So thick.”
“Evie.” He groaned and hammered into her. Evie’s hands dug into the soft grass as she tried to keep up with the frantic rhythm of his thrusts. This was nothing like the first time, when they’d been shy and uncertain, their hands shaking, bodies trembling. This was wild, free, born of unrequited passion and burning need. Their bodies slammed together, the sound of flesh slapping against flesh as erotic as soft music and candlelight. Zane unleashed. Just as she’d wanted him. And he was everything she’d expected, and more.
Her orgasm built quickly, heating her body, coiling her muscles inside and out. Zane slipped one hand between them and brushed his thumb up and around her clit. Once. Twice. And then he pinched, sending her spiraling out of control.
He stretched over her back, twining the fingers of one hand with hers in the grass, his teeth piercing the sensitive skin of her nape, setting off another ripple of shock waves that sparked along every nerve of her body. Zane pounded into her and then stiffened and groaned, his shaft throbbing as he pumped deep inside her. With a last shudder, he collapsed over her sweat-slick back, pressing soft kisses to her shoulder until they both came down from the ride.
When Evie shivered, Zane drew her up, leaning back on his knees, one arm wrapped around her waist. They breathed together, their hearts pounding in unison. Finally, he pressed a soft kiss to the stinging bite on her neck and gently lowered her to the grass.
* * *
“Lie with me.” He didn’t wait for her response. Instead, he straightened his clothing and lay on the grass, beckoning to her with his outstretched arm. Evie pulled down her dress and joined him, curled into his warmth, her head on his shoulder, looking up at the stars, brilliant in the dark sky.
“We never did our stargazing anywhere normal,” she said quietly. “Rooftops, treetops, forests, the roof of your car … Except then we talked about deep things like extra-terrestrial beings, and war, and music, and how chemistry teachers always manage to accidentally blow things up.”
Zane chuckled. “That was a useful lesson. We needed a quick explosive one night and I told the brothers how Mr. Cooper cut into that stick of phosphorus and blew up the class. We broke into a school and stole some. Flattened one of the Jacks’ money laundering facilities, a pool hall just outside Devil’s Hills.”
“I guess you didn’t run in with a fire extinguisher and save the day like you did in school.” She leaned up and pressed a kiss to the pulse at the base of his throat.
He curled his arm around her, tucking her into his body. “I threw more phosphorus onto the fire. Watched the building burn to the ground. Thought about you sitting at the campfire on the beach on your graduation night, how beautiful you looked in the firelight, how much I wanted you.”
“All you had to do was cross the fire pit.”
Zane felt yet another stab of regret. So many opportunities wasted. How different would things have been if he’d crossed the fire pit that night, or the playground the day he’d seen her with Mark and Ty? “I didn’t want to get burned.”
He felt her chest rise and fall with laughter. “What about all the nights we lay together under the stars and talked about the future? You wanted to be a firefighter after you put out that fire in the chemistry classroom. I was going to go to college and get my Fine Arts degree. We were going to come back to Stanton so we could see each other every day and meet up for stargazing at night.”
A wave of nostalgia hit him hard, and with it the ache of longing he’d felt every time he was with her. “I got a confession to make. I was never looking at the stars. I was looking at you looking at the stars, wishing I could be inside you. Not easy being a teenager and having the woman of your dreams lying beside you, all sexy and sweet, and not being able to touch her.”
“I was the woman of your dreams?” She tilted her head back, rubbing her cheek over the soft bristles on his jaw.
“Every one.” He’d dreamed about her even after he left, saw her on street corners, heard her voice in restaurants and bars. For years, he couldn’t be with a woman without thinking about her, wondering if another man was touching her the way he touched the strangers he took to his bed, keeping her safe and happy, loving her.
“It must have been hard…” Her voice hitched in sympathy. “When you came back and saw me with Mark and Ty.”
Zane’s body stiffened. That kind of pain wasn’t meant to be dredged up, relived, wielded to torture him again. “It fucking killed me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You had Ty to think about.” Forgiving, but not forgetting. He would have waited for her forever. In some ways, he was still waiting now.
A heavy silence thickened the air and it took him a moment to realize she was waiting for him to say something else, to apologize. But the words wouldn’t come. If he hadn’t left, he would be in jail, locked away, forgotten. He wouldn’t have trained as a firefighter, or saved Jagger’s life; he wouldn’t have joined the Sinners and found brothers who accepted him despite his darkness. And although he was sorry he had hurt her, staying would have hurt her more because he would have been forced to tell the truth he had hidden from her all these years; he would’ve shattered the illusion she had of her father as a good, kind, loving, honorable man.
“I thought you weren’t coming back,” she said. “After three years of waiting, alone with Ty, I gave up hope.”
He knew the moment she gave up waiting now—gave up hope—from the way her body tightened, unmolding itself from him, separating, until a chasm formed between them all the deeper because it couldn’t be seen.
“I guess we’d better go.” She sat up as he knew she would, pushed herself to her feet. With her hair tangled, her dress rumpled and her feet bare, she looked like a forest creature, ethereally beautiful, wild.
Free.
Free to leave him. Free to walk away.
She took a step back when he stood, retreating. “I think you were right. There’s too much between us. Too much hurt. Too much pain. Even when we’re close I feel I can’t touch you, like you’re holding back, and I can’t stop thinking that means you’re going to leave. I don’t think sex is enough to build a bridge high enough to get over that pain or long enough to cover the distance between w
ho we were and who we are.”
“I told you I wouldn’t turn my back on my responsibilities.”
She regarded him with a measure of resignation. “Yes, you did mention your responsibilities.”
Zane let out a growl of frustration. What more did she want? He’d told her twice now that he wouldn’t shirk his responsibility as a father. He would make sure they were safe and provided for, and tonight he’d shared with her more than he’d shared with anyone in his life. He’d let her see into his soul.
Evie turned and picked her way across the grass, her bare feet pale in the moonlight. No longer flying, laughing, as she had when he chased her, she weighed each step, as if she was afraid of getting hurt. For some reason her caution annoyed him more than her speech. Didn’t she understand she had nothing to fear when he was with her?
Maybe it was because he wasn’t good with words. He had never been an eloquent man.
Zane closed the distance between them in three easy strides. Without speaking, he lifted her in his arms, cradling against her body. Then he carried her back to the party under the twinkling stars.
* * *
Since guns and swearing had been banned, Zane wasn’t sure what to talk about with Ty. He’d never hung out with a kid. He stayed away from the Sinner parties where kids were invited, never dated a woman with children, and didn’t frequent locations where kids might be found. So when Evie left him alone with Ty in the safe house kitchen the morning after the party, he found himself disconcertingly unprepared.
“Where’s mom?” Ty stared at Zane from across the white plastic table. Who the hell had done the decorating? The safe house looked like something out of a catalogue, all white and shiny with blue accents. Cold. Austere. Certainly not welcoming. Not that he usually cared about such things, but he wanted Evie and Ty to be comfortable.
“In the shower.” He pushed the eggs and bacon Evie had cooked around his plate. Whether it was the alcohol or the fact he had to sleep alone on the couch with his guilt and frustration, he’d had the worst night of his life. Why the heck had he taken her so roughly in the forest, let her see that side of him? This was Evie, soft and sweet, not one of the women who came to his apartment wanting exactly what he needed to dish out to soothe the darkness in his soul. No wonder she’d tried to push him away. Or maybe it was like Dax said. She could sense he wasn’t fully committed, that he was still half in and half out the door.
The Sinner’s Tribe Motorcycle Club, Books 1-3 Page 84