He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it on the bed, then he stripped down to his boxers. Her legs trembled as her gaze swept over his body, starting at his feet, her strength leaving her as she took in the discolored skin on his shins and thighs, the cuts on his wrists, and then gave out when she saw the full extent of his bruised and lacerated torso.
Her beautiful Zane.
She sank down to the floor, wrapped her arms around her legs, buried her head and sobbed, the grief ripping her apart inside. Tears spilled down her cheeks dripping on the floor with each ragged inhale. She cried not just for him, but for them, and the knowledge they could never be together.
“Fuck.” Zane’s voice was harsh, raw as he crossed the room to kneel beside her. “Sweetheart, it’s not as bad as it looks.”
She shook her head, held herself tighter, unable to speak for the images spinning around in her mind. Jagger had no bruises on his body. That guilty look on his face when he’d come into the shop … the marks on Zane’s wrists.
Zane hadn’t fought back. His hands were tied and he hadn’t fought back.
“Let me explain.” He cradled her in his arms, as if she was the one hurting. She supposed, in a way, she was.
“There’s nothing to say that could make this acceptable to me.” Evie sniffed back her tears. “I can’t do this, Zane. Seeing you like this is tearing me apart. I’ll never be able to forgive Jagger, never forget what he did to you. I won’t even pretend to understand how you agreed to it. The fact that you live in a world where this kind of thing goes on is bad enough, but on top of it … your patches … blood…”
“I’ll leave the MC.” Simple words and yet they weighed heavy on her heart.
“I don’t want you to leave.” She held herself stiff, afraid to touch his battered body. “This club means everything to you. That you would take a beating from your best friend tells me how much you love this life. You would hate me every day for taking you away from it.”
“I love you more,” he said. “I have always loved you. I’ve lived my life in the shadows because I couldn’t let you go.” He drew in a ragged breath, brushed his lips over her hair. “I can’t lose you now. I went looking for Viper because I couldn’t bear to lose you.”
She struggled to sit, pushed herself to standing. “I can’t bear the thought of losing you either, but I don’t even know who I am anymore. All I know is that I’ve been stupidly naive, and this life you lead isn’t for me. I want to be with you, but I don’t see how this can work.”
His face smoothed, eyes darkened. Even now she knew him so well, she could see his emotional retreat.
She closed her fist and hit it to her breast, her eyes stinging with tears all over again. “It hurts me to see you in pain. It hurts me to think of you suffering. It hurts me to think of you in such danger that you have to take a life. I’ve spent my whole life hurting because I wanted you and couldn’t have you. I just can’t take the hurting anymore. I love you, Zane, but it hurts just too damn bad, and now you’re taking risks for me that could get you killed. I don’t want that. Even if we can’t be together, I need to know you’re alive and happy and doing what you love to do.”
His voice, when he spoke, was thick with pain. “You want to walk away? What about Ty?”
“I don’t know.” God, why couldn’t she stop crying? “I need some time to think about it. He adores you. He’s so happy to have you in his life, I can’t take that away from him.”
She turned, reached for the door, but it felt too wrong. Unfinished. There was something she needed to do.
“Will you let me do something for you before I go?”
“Anything.”
She gestured to his bruised, battered body. “You did this for me. I want to give something back. I want to take care of you so when I leave I’ll know you’re going to be okay.”
* * *
Pain.
His life was all about pain.
And yet the pain in his body was nothing compared to the pain in his heart. Zane’s hand clenched on his breast. If he could rip his damn heart out of his chest he would. Go back to the darkness that had sustained him for the last nine years, back to the shadows. Out of the damn light.
He heard the rush of water in the shower from the en suite bathroom, a luxury afforded only the senior patch brothers who kept rooms at the clubhouse, but he couldn’t go in. He was too wound up, too out of control, too damn emotional.
What else could he do? He had meant every word when he told her he would fight to be with her. He just hadn’t realized she would be the one standing in his way.
With a roar, he thudded his fist against the wall. His hands were about the only place on his body that wasn’t bruised. Might as well remedy that problem because he had saved them for nothing.
When he felt no release from his assault on the wall, he ripped a drawer from the dresser and smashed it on the ground. Clothes flew across the room and the wood cracked and splintered. Like his heart.
“Zane!”
But now that the floodgates had opened, he couldn’t stop. He lifted the drawer and smashed it down again, his aching muscles protesting the impact. “Do you want Viper, Evie? Is that it? Is that what this is all about?” He knew it was ludicrous. She had seen who Viper was, but he needed a reason, something he could change.
“No, baby. You know that’s not true. Now come let me wash you and look after those cuts and bruises.”
Smash. Smash. Smash. He tore the drawer apart. He loved her compassion and yet he hated it if it meant the last time he touched her he would be in pain.
“I’ll shower with you so I can look after you properly.” She clasped the bottom of her T-shirt and tugged it over her head. Zane froze mid-strike, his primal instincts sharpening at the sight of her skin and her beautiful breasts encased in blue satin.
“I don’t want your help.” He threw the remnants of the drawer across the room.
“Too bad. And if you can’t do it for you, then do it for me.” Evie undid her bra and tossed it on the bed with her shirt. “It will make me … feel better.” She slid her jeans and panties over her hips and then kicked them off. Gloriously naked, quietly confident, undaunted by his rage, she turned into the bathroom. “Come on.”
Zane’s body shook, torn between going after his woman and unleashing his frustrations on the rest of the furniture.
Don’t go in. He knew what would happen if he followed her, and it wouldn’t involve standing still while she treated his wounds. And with his heart raw and exposed, he didn’t think he could handle that level of intimacy without totally losing control. With a growl, he ripped out another drawer, and hammered it against the wall until it shattered, pieces flying in all directions. Exhausted, he sank down on the bed, the ruins of the drawers scattered at his feet, his muscles quivering at the exertion. He could hear the shower behind him, feel the breath of steam, smell the floral fragrance of shampoo.
Evie.
Loves me.
Leaving me.
Overwhelmed with the need to touch her, he stripped off his clothes, all thoughts of staying away forgotten beneath the desire to hold her in his arms one last time.
Evie turned when he stepped into the shower, rivulets of water streaming over her beautiful body. “Took you long enough. Did you break all the drawers?”
Words deserted him. He took her in his arms and held her against him, his cock, painfully erect, pressed against her soft belly.
“It’s okay,” she murmured against his chest, her arms tightening around him.
He didn’t know how long they stood under the warm water, but his heart finally slowed its frenetic beat and the tension eased from his body.
“You’re mine.”
“And you’re mine. That won’t change.” She slid her hands up his chest ever so gently to circle his neck.
She was right about that. Nothing would change. He would find a way. He would fight for her until he couldn’t fight anymore.
“Let me take care of you now.” She soaked the washcloth and then gently rubbed it over his body, washing away the dried blood, cleaning carefully over his bruises. She kept her bottom lip tight between her teeth, and when she looked up he couldn’t tell if the drops on her cheeks were water or tears. Her hands were soft on his skin, gentle, and the warm water eased muscles that had been taut for days.
“I love your body.” Her hands smoothed soap down his back, over his ass. His cock was stiff and hard despite his emotional turmoil, aching for her touch, the slick heat of her pussy, the need to reassert his claim to her body. “So strong. So hard. Perfect. When I touch you, I feel safe.”
Not safe enough, or she wouldn’t be running away.
When her breast brushed against his chest, he couldn’t take anymore. Turning, he pulled her into his arms. “You are safe. I will always keep you safe, always take care of you.”
He started with her lips, gently tracing over them with his finger, then licking them clean. He slid soapy hands over her cheeks and her neck, and then he moved to her breasts, cupping and squeezing them beneath the running water until she arched beneath his touch.
“I think I’m clean there now,” she panted.
He knelt in front of her, kissing his way over her stomach, lapping water droplets from her skin, and the soft red-gold down over her mound. Her hands tightened in his hair when he gently parted her legs and eased her back against the wall. Then he lifted her knee, opening her to him. “Over my shoulder.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Only hurting that will happen is if you don’t let me love you.”
She did as he asked, locking her heel against his back, and he leaned forward and licked the sweet petals of her folds.
“Oh, God.” Her leg tightened, drawing him closer and he licked again, tasting her honey as water slid over his cheeks. His cock throbbed under the pounding spray as he sucked and teased up and around her clit. She rocked her hips against his mouth, but he wanted more from her. He wanted everything.
She was his. And he wanted her body and soul.
* * *
“Hold on to the showerhead. Don’t let go.”
Evie’s breath hitched. No hands meant no control. And this was supposed to be her show, her way of giving back to him. But she sensed he needed her like this, needed to take back some control. She reached up and his warm smile sent a wave of arousal through her slick, wet body.
Still, she wasn’t prepared when he pushed a thick finger inside her. Her breath left in a rush, her back bowing as she rocked to meet his thrusts. Water jets teased her sensitive nipples, before splashing against his forehead, but he was relentless, his finger sliding in and out as his tongue circled her clit, sensation building on sensation, until there was nothing but the incessant demand of her body for more.
Zane added a second finger, stretching her, his fingertips pulsing against her sensitive inner tissue. Pressure built within her, not the usual rush to the peak, but a slow, steady roll, deep in her core. Her back arched away from the cold wall. Her leg locked on his shoulder. Her hands gripped the showerhead so hard she feared it would tear away from the wall. And when he flicked his tongue over her clit then nipped it gently, timing it to the deepest thrust of his fingers, she let go, her climax tearing a low, guttural groan from her throat, her body shuddering over and over as he drew out her orgasm with slow, shallow pulses of his fingers.
“So beautiful,” he said softly. “I’ve wanted to see you restrained since the moment we met again, even if you were doing it yourself.”
Yeah, she’d always figured her Zane had a kinky side. But she never thought she did, too.
His gaze dropped to the curls at the juncture of her thighs and her body trembled with need. Just that look, the heat of his gaze, was enough to send a tremor of excitement through her. And when he stood, curved his hands under her breasts, the rough calluses scraping over her sensitive skin, she thought she might come again just from the erotic burn.
He pushed her breasts together and sucked one nipple, then the other, his tongue unrelenting as it lashed back and forth. Her head fell back, and she went up on her toes, pain and pleasure mixing until she couldn’t tell where one finished and the other began.
“I could spend all day worshiping your beautiful breasts,” he murmured. “I could spend a lifetime worshiping you.”
Overwhelmed by sensation and the loss of control, she strained toward him until his erection pressed against her stomach.
“I need you.”
“Then spread your legs for me, sweetheart. Let me in.” He moved one hand down her body and teased around her folds, circling her entrance. A tremor ran through her and she angled her hips trying to urge him inside her. The constant stream of water over her clit sent a buzz through her head and she moaned her desperate need for release.
“Gotta get a condom.” He moved to leave and she grabbed his hand.
“It’s okay. I’m on the pill.” She looked away, not wanting to see his expression. She trusted him that much, and yet she was still walking away. God, what was she doing?
Zane’s hands slid down her slick body and he cupped her ass, lifting her easily to his hips. And then he slid inside her with one hard thrust, startling her with the fullness and the sense of complete possession.
He let out a low groan. “Ah, Evie. So good to be with you this way. Like the first time we were together.”
No, it was better. More. She had never felt this close to him before. Not in the forest when they’d made love, nor in the bedroom when she’d locked away that part of her that might get too involved. But now, with the water washing away all her barriers, his body hot and hard against hers, his cock throbbing inside her, with nothing between them, she felt the last of her control slip away.
“Zane.” His name on her lips was more a plea than a request, but he was already moving, lifting her hips in time to his thrusts. She tightened her arms around his neck and held on for the ride, her back slick and wet against the cold tile wall.
Her inner walls tightened around his cock as he hammered into her, sliding her up and down his hard, wet body, giving her the friction she needed to hit her peak. He stroked his finger over her clit and her climax came in a rush, pleasure flooding through her veins in a molten wave. Zane grunted and pounded into her, coming hard and fast just as her pleasure began to fade.
He held her against him as the water beat down, washing away their sweat and tears. Then they washed each other all over again, and rubbed each other dry.
* * *
Evie slipped out from under Zane’s arm and texted Connie to meet her downstairs. She had applied salve to all his wounds and bandaged the worst cuts. Exhausted and clearly in pain, Zane had fallen asleep holding her cradled against him. She didn’t want to leave, but she needed time to think. How could she be with a man who led a life that scared her?
Connie met her downstairs with Ty, still wired after hours of gaming.
“Sparky’s bringing the SUV. He’ll be here in a couple of minutes.” Connie gave a quick glance down the hallway, then lowered her voice. “I got downstairs and played some pool, checked the place out. It’s a game room. Pool table, dartboard, foosball table, bar in the corner, but there were three steel locked doors with cameras above them, and they wouldn’t let Ty come down, so I figure there’s something there. I asked but no one would tell me.”
“I don’t think I want to know what’s down there.”
“You looked wrecked,” Connie said softly.
“I am wrecked.” Evie’s shoulders slumped. “I told Zane I couldn’t do this, that I needed some time. I couldn’t handle seeing him hurt like that. It made me angry and ill at the same time. If Arianne hadn’t been in the way I might have done some serious damage to Jagger, and yet I’ve never hit anyone in my life. It’s how I would feel if someone hurt Ty. I wanted to protect him and care for him, but I also wanted to get him out of here. But he’s a man, not a boy. And this is th
e life he loves. I love him, Connie, but not this world—not for me, and not for Ty. I don’t know what to do.”
Connie’s face crumpled. “Oh honey, I’m so sorry. I guess you probably don’t want to go back to the safe house.”
“I’ll get a hotel until I figure things out. And we’ll have to find somewhere else to set up shop.”
“You can stay with me.” Connie picked up Ty’s electronics bag and put an arm around him. “I’ve been trying to rent out my spare room forever. And before you start worrying about putting me in danger, Jagger already arranged to have two guys watching you wherever you go. He says it won’t be for long. They’re already waiting outside.”
Sparky honked the horn and Evie reached for the door.
“We’re leaving?” Ty shook himself, his eyes wide. “What about Zane? I didn’t see him yet. I haven’t seen him for a long time!”
“He’s sleeping,” Evie said gently. “And he’s not feeling well so we don’t want to disturb him.”
“But he didn’t say hello. And he was going to show me all the bikes.” His bottom lip quivered. “And I was supposed to teach him how to play World of Tanks.”
Guilt curdled her stomach. “You can do those things with him another time. Maybe Connie can bring you back here tomorrow.”
A tear rolled down Ty’s cheek. “Doesn’t he want to see me?”
“Hey, bud.” Wincing, Zane eased himself down on the stairs leading to the second floor. He wore a long-sleeved shirt under his cut that hid all the bruises, save for the one on his cheek and the fresh cuts on his hands.
Ty ran into his arms. “Mom said you were sleeping and you weren’t feeling well.”
“Yeah, well, we can’t be Batman all the time.” He ruffled Ty’s hair and his eyes flicked to Evie. “We got time to check out the bikes?”
“Of course.”
Zane clasped Ty’s hand and led him outside. Eyes tearing, Connie watched them go and shook her head.
“They’re so good together. You can’t…”
The Sinner’s Tribe Motorcycle Club, Books 1-3 Page 90