by Davis, Alexa
“She’s very good at her job,” I replied firmly. “That’s all I care about.”
“Your mom said she’s beautiful.” He smirked at me and shrugged. “What? I had to ask, didn’t I? So, what does she look like?”
“She’s very beautiful,” I admitted. “Long dark hair, heart-shaped face, nice body… But again that isn’t what I care about. It’s how she does her job that I’m bothered about.” Ryan gave me a look, so I continued talking to drive my point home. “Look, I’m surrounded by beautiful women all day every day. I don’t notice them because I’m so busy working. That’s no different to what it’s like seeing Elle at Mom’s home.”
“Hmm, I don’t know if I believe you,” he teased. “If I had a foxy young lady wandering around all day long, then I’d be there watching her…maybe seducing her…”
“I’m not like that,” I replied, tight-lipped. She had been through enough of that in her past job, so even if I were attracted to her, I wouldn’t do anything about it.
Not that I was attracted to her.
“Right, whatever.” He rolled his eyes but dropped the subject. “Maybe we should get away for a bit, head down to your resort in Florida? It’s been ages, and I had such a fucking good time the last time we were there.”
“I know,” I replied dryly. “I had to hire all new female lifeguards afterward, if you remember? You fucked your way right through them without even thinking about it.”
“Well, someone has to have some fun. Just because you’re boring…”
“Oh, give it a rest, Ryan.” I check my watch, growing a bit weary of his bullshit. I didn’t want to discuss Elle with him anymore – or any other women for that matter. Just because I didn’t think it was a good idea to keep sleeping around at almost forty years old didn’t make me a bad person. “Maybe we’ll go when Mom’s better. For now, I just need to stick around to make sure she’s okay.”
“Oh yeah, of course.” He looked like I’d chastened him. “Maybe once Katherine is better.”
“And if we do go, then you have to promise that you won’t go near any of my staff members. Or my guests, for that matter. I don’t want to be stuck with endless paperwork because you can’t keep it in your pants.”
“But what if the love of my life is down there?”
“The love of your life isn’t down there, and she certainly isn’t in her early twenties. Honestly.” I shook my head, acting like his behavior was abhorrent to wind him up. “Anyway, let’s get this hole done, then I need to get home. I can’t leave Mom alone for too long.”
I couldn’t admit it to Ryan, but I didn’t want to miss Elle leaving, especially if Mom let her go early. I just didn’t think the night would be the same without fresh memories of her in my mind. It was embarrassing; I hadn’t ever acted this way before, but it was what it was. I was sure it would pass…eventually.
***
My heart hammered as I stopped the car, a thick tension swirling in my chest. The thought that I might see Elle again made me feel all weird inside. I pulled my keys out of my pocket and searched through them to find the one that would take me to Mom’s home. As I spotted my key, I thought I should probably go back home at some point, just to water the plants or something, but I wasn’t in any hurry. I loved my home. It was one of the first things I’d bought as the money rolled in, but these days it felt too empty for one person to live in alone.
I preferred being with Mom because at least there was always some sound around me, something to do, someone who needed me. I guess I never realized just how much I liked being needed.
“Hello?” I called out quietly as I poked my head inside. “Mom, you there?”
I heard laughter coming from the living room, so I followed the sound curiously. Once I reached the room, I spotted Elle with her purse on her shoulder, clearly ready to leave, sharing a hot drink with my Mom. They were chatting like old friends, laughing like they’d known each other for years.
I saw a real light in Mom’s eyes, one that hadn’t been there for a while. I guess with all my activity at work keeping me busy; I hadn’t noticed how lonely she had become. I felt bad for all the time I’d spent doing paperwork when I should have been with her. I knew a lot of her friends didn’t live here anymore, or they were too wrapped up in their own lives to come and visit. Mom needed me, and I hadn’t been around for her much.
I have got to learn to delegate better, I decided quietly to myself. I need to let go of the control. I have other responsibilities, too.
“Oh, Alex, I didn’t see you there.” Mom indicated for me to come and sit down with them both. “Come and join us for a hot drink. Elle was just telling me a story about her daughter…”
“Actually, I better go.” Elle stood up regretfully. “My friend Terran is looking after Delaney, and I don’t want to leave her too much longer.” She gave me a sorrowful smile which tugged at all of my heartstrings. “I don’t mean to be rude. I just have to…”
“Oh no, I understand.” I held up my hand to stop her from explaining. “Thank you for all your work again today.”
“Do you need me over the weekend?”
“Oh no, you spend the weekend with that lovely girl of yours,” Mom jumped in rapidly. “I’ll be fine. Alex has his resort party thing, but aside from that he’ll be around for me, won’t you, son?”
“Yeah, of course. We’ll see you Monday, Elle.”
As she walked away, I kept my eyes fixed on her for a moment too long. Once she left the room, I could really feel her missing. Elle brought something with her that I didn’t even think she was aware of.
I turned back to see Mom giving me a knowing look. It was almost as if she could see right into my soul and knew what I felt before I was. Luckily, she didn’t say anything. That wasn’t a conversation that I needed to have right now – not when I was so confused.
Chapter Ten
Elle
Saturday
“Are you okay?” I asked Terran for what felt like the hundredth time. “You seem a little off.”
There was definitely something wrong with my friend, I could see it from the moment she walked into my home. We had a fun day out planned, shopping and cake eating with Delaney, all on me since I had the awesome paying job… But she just didn’t seem into it now, and I couldn’t work out why.
“Are you sick? Has something happened?” I felt like I needed to drag it out of her before Delaney was dressed and ready to leave. “You know if there’s anything that I can do, I will.”
She gave me an intense look and bit down on her bottom lip. I could almost see thoughts whizzing past her brain, but I just couldn’t read them. I tried to look reassuring like I wouldn’t freak out with whatever she was struggling with, but I could feel myself wobbling. If this was as huge as I was starting to suspect, then I really needed to prepare myself.
“I think you better take a seat,” she finally rasped at me, only making it worse. I glanced towards Delaney’s bedroom door, feeling glad for the very first time in my life that she took forever to get herself changed. Once I was sitting with my hands firmly gripped together in my lap, Terran started. “It’s about Mark.”
“Mark?” Icy darts of fear shot straight into my heart. That was absolutely the last thing in the world I suspected she was going to say. My head spun, and I felt sick as all the memories I did my best to suppress when it came to that man came flooding back. All the hate, all the terror, all the mental exhaustion – it was all of me all over again. “What about him?”
“I overheard something…” She bit down on her lip again, looking as if she was utterly terrified to say what she had to next. “I shouldn’t have been listening, I know I shouldn’t. I always try my best to keep work and home separate; you know that.”
“Of course I do,” I muttered. I wanted to keep my cool, but it was impossible. Just the mere mention of his name had my knuckles turning white. “I understand.”
“Well, he was in his office on the phone, and I just happened
to be walking past… I only stopped because I heard your name.”
“My name? Why is he talking about me? I never talk about him. What could he possibly have to say about me anymore?”
“Actually, it was more about Delaney.” The world fell out from beneath me so violently that I wasn’t even sure I was sitting upright anymore. I could quite easily have been passed out on the floor, and I wouldn’t have noticed. “He was discussing custody with a lawyer. He’s going to try and pass you off as an unfit mother, so he can have his daughter full time.”
No, no, no. I shook my head violently. There was no way I would allow that to happen.
Mark was a terrible father, even when we lived with him. He never bothered with her; he was too busy working and making my life hell. I hadn’t noticed it at the time because I was so wrapped up in the toxic situation we found ourselves in, but as soon as I finally got away, I noticed that he didn’t even know his daughter at all. He did nothing for her; he spent no time with her; he couldn’t possible know what she liked, how she was, who she was…
There was no way I could allow her to live with him full time now.
“He seems to think that because he has more money than you, he’ll be able to provide a better life,” Terran continued, twisting the knife in deeper. “But of course, he won’t be able to prove that. You’ve been there from the start, right? That has to count for a lot. I mean, I’m not a judge, but I know who I would pick if I were in charge – and it sure as hell wouldn’t be the parent who hadn’t been around.”
Does that matter? Will his money be able to provide him with lawyers so good I end up with nothing? How the hell am I going to come out of this with Delaney still by my side?
“Oh my God,” I gasped, clapping my hand across my mouth as the idea of going to court over custody hit me in the face. “I can’t believe it… I don’t know what to say.” My words were spilling so fast out of my mouth that they tripped over each other. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Whatever I can do, I will-” Terran didn’t get to finish her sentence because, at that moment, Delaney came bounding excitably into the room.
“Do you like my dress? Are we going out now? I want chocolate cake.”
Terran gave me a look, so I returned it with a grateful nod. I didn’t like the news; it was unbearable, it twisted everything up in my gut…but at least she’d told me. Once I got over this initial shock, I could work out just what I was going to do about it.
Somehow, with no money to support my case, I was going to have to make sure that Mark didn’t get Delaney. He couldn’t, that girl was my world. I couldn’t even bear to think about what my life would be like without her. Knowing she was with him and he wasn’t treating her right would kill me. I couldn’t let it happen.
But before that, I needed to shelter Delaney from the news. I needed to make sure she had a nice day and didn’t learn anything about it.
“Yes, we’re ready.” I smiled as brightly as I could manage with that horrible news circling my brain. “Let’s go.”
***
“Thank you for my new toy!” Delaney exclaimed happily as we sat down to eat. “I love it. I really like her dress.”
“That was nice of you,” Terran whispered to me. “She didn’t need it.”
“I know, but she deserves a treat,” I replied with tears in my eyes. “It isn’t just because of what you told me; I know you think it is…”
“Oh, I didn’t say that!” Terran was horrified by the idea, but I could tell that was what she thought. I couldn’t blame her; I felt a bit like that myself.
“I know, but I wanted to get her something anyway. It’s more of a celebration for me moving forwards with my life than anything else.”
If only my job were definitely permanent, that would be a good argument against Mark. I’d been thinking about plans all day long, ways I could defend myself and my parenting skills. It was exhausting. I wanted to forget about it for the time being, but it wasn’t easy. “She loves it, so that’s great.”
Delaney chatted away to herself, playing a game with her doll, which luckily meant she wasn’t paying attention. Terran and I had to be careful with what we said, but at least we could talk about it.
“I’m freaked out by it, but I’m glad you told me.” I took Terran’s hand and gave her a reassuring smile. “At least now I can plan. That’s the most important thing.”
“That’s why I wanted to tell you; I was just scared that it’d upset you… Of course, you’re going to be upset, but it’s better that you know. Have you had any thoughts on the matter? Do you know anyone that could help?”
I shook my head sadly, regretting all the time I’d wasted not getting to know any lawyers. If I had one as a friend I could call in some favors with now; I could beg to be helped with this situation. Instead, I didn’t know anyone.
“Are you going to tell your parents?”
The thought of telling my family when I hadn’t seen them for years terrified me. When I am first starting dating Mark, they didn’t like him. My father had told me Mark was an evil man who would absolutely destroy me. He was right in the end, of course, but I didn’t see it at the time. I decided in a pig-headed way that I wouldn’t listen to them and that I’d carry on doing what I wanted to do no matter what. I clung to Mark harder because they didn’t like him, and by the time I moved to New York to be with him, things were incredibly strained between us.
I spoke to them once or twice a year, but it was always weird. I didn’t even tell them that we broke up for a while because I didn’t want to hear the dreaded I told you so. I couldn’t go to them with this.
“No, I don’t think so. This is something I would rather deal with myself.” I ignored the surprised look that Terran gave me. “I’ll tell them only if I need to.”
With a sharp nod, she seemed to see that I needed a change of subject which thankfully she gave me. “So, did you see the news about your boss’s party this morning?”
“Huh?” I wasn’t expecting that; I’d almost forgotten all about Alex with all this mess. “What party?”
“The new Gold Resort opened today. I saw pictures online.”
“Are you following him?”
“I liked the Facebook page.” She shrugged as if it was normal. “I want to get to know what he does a bit more; he seems like a really interesting person.” She pulled out her phone and scrolled down to the pictures. “Look, it’s awesome, isn’t it?”
“Wow.” I took the phone from her and looked at the images of his resort. He had it decorated in gold and white, with the most incredible displays on all the tables. “That’s amazing. His mom is always telling me how hard he works and how good he is at his job. It looks like she’s right.”
“I wish we were invited. Look at it! I can just imagine us at a fancy shindig like this. We’d love it, wouldn’t we?”
I loved that idea, but of course, it was a world people like Terran and me would never fit into. Mark was well off, not loaded like Alex but enough, and I’d never felt like I fit in with him. This was on a whole other level. “I don’t think we could walk up in our usual dresses,” I said as I handed her back the phone. “I think we’d be kicked out before we could enjoy any of it.”
“Maybe one day,” Terran replied dreamily, completely ignoring my comments. “Maybe we’ll get invited because you work for him.”
I didn’t want to get sucked into her silly fantasy, but I couldn’t help myself. Except, in my mind, I wasn’t just a guest. I was Alex’s plus one. I was on his arm with a beautiful designer gown on, with sky-high heels on my feet, and my hair styled beautifully, looking and feeling like a princess. Dream Alex held onto my hand and gave me a look filled with love. My heart skipped a beat as he leaned down to kiss me, with all eyes upon us. Dream Alex loved me so much that he didn’t care…
I wasn’t quite sure where that came from. Just because Alex was good looking didn’t mean I had feelings for him, did it?
Oh God, I was in
trouble.
Chapter Eleven
Alexander
Monday
I tugged on my tie again, trying to get it just right. As I dressed, my mind reeled over everything that I needed to do. With the opening party going off without a hitch and things now fully in motion with the new resort, the real work began. This was not the time to relax. I had to ensure that the new Gold Resort became one of the most popular places in town.
“I feel pretty good today,” Mom commented behind me. “I don’t think it’ll be much longer until my leg is healed.”
My stomach clenched. I wanted Mom to be better, of course, I did; but as soon as she was, I lost all control. Even if she still needed my help she would probably send me back to my own home – which reminded me, I needed to pop in to check on my mail – and she would get rid of Elle, too. I wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye to her just yet; I felt like there was still something very intriguing about her that I wanted to get to know.
“Well, don’t push yourself,” I told her in a caring tone of voice. “You don’t want to push yourself back just because it feels good right now.”
“I know, I know, I’m not an idiot,” she laughed. “I’m just saying I think I’m healing well.” After a beat, she asked me, “How are things with the business? Now that the party has gone well, are you thinking about opening another?”
Yes. Always.
“No,” I answered. “Not at the moment; you know I’m focusing on you until you’re better.” When Mom rolled her eyes at me, I tried to play it off as something else, as well. “Plus, I need to ensure this one gets going first. The manager is good, but I want to keep an eye on her.”
“Just an eye, I hope.”
“Mom, you know I’m not like that.”
Not anymore anyway.
Once upon a time, I’d loved all the attention that came my way. I would take advantage of it without even thinking about it. Since I had to grow up quickly and felt responsible for Mom and me, I didn’t start thinking about women until I had just turned twenty years old – and then for a while, it was all I could think about. I noticed that women wanted me and whether that was only for the money or not I wasn’t sure and I didn’t care, so I delved in head first. I had crazy, fun sex with people I barely even knew. It was wonderful...for a time.