by Davis, Alexa
“Wow,” she told me with wide-eyed surprise. “There aren’t many places she can eat, so this will be awesome. I’ll have to note the name of it.”
We ordered quickly, with even Meghan finding something that she could eat, and then a heated debate broke out about who was better: Iron Man or Superman. Lark started it to give Meghan something to distract her while we waited for our meals to be cooked, but I couldn’t help wading in.
“There’s no way that Superman is better,” I told Lark, while winking at Meghan. “Iron Man is strong, practically invincible, and also super cool. Plus, have you seen his outfit? Superman is in a leotard.”
“Yay!” Meghan cried out gleefully. “Iron Man!”
“Superman can fly,” Lark joined in while shaking his head. “Are you insane? Olivia, what would you rather, the ability to fly or to be really strong?”
“I’m not getting into this,” she chuckled. “You can fight this out among yourselves.”
And fight we did, all the way through lunch. Luckily it wasn’t a particularly fancy place, so it didn’t matter when things got heated and loud. We attracted the attention of all the other people in there, but since we’d come in late, after the main lunch rush, it hardly mattered. In fact, some of the people actually joined in with us. Mostly siding with Meghan, just because she was so freaking adorable.
“Come on, let’s go to the comic book shop,” I declared once we’d finished eating. “We’ll see what they sell more of Iron Man or Superman. That will be the deciding factor.”
“Yeah! Mom, can we?”
We all turned to face Olivia, who had seemingly given up on her resistance to spending the day with Lark and me. “Fine, come on, let’s go. Where is this place anyway?”
“Just around the corner.”
As we walked, Meghan’s excitement grew to an almost uncontrollable level. I got the impression that she was having the best day that she’d had since setting foot in New York City, which actually sparked something within me. I wanted to make her day even better. I wanted to get her to love her new home so that she and her mother might stick around.
***
“You shouldn’t have brought all that stuff for Meghan,” Olivia insisted again as we left the store. We’d been in there for hours, and I had three bags of Iron Man merchandise clutched between my fingers. “It was too much, too expensive.”
“Oh, the kid’s happy,” I grinned at her. My heart lifted, and I felt happy as I watched Meghan’s eye light up. “She enjoyed herself, what does it matter?”
“Honestly? I don’t know when I’m going to be able to pay you back, that’s all.”
“I don’t want you to pay me back.” I was offended by the suggestion as if I’d expect her to give me the cash back, whether I’d won the lottery or not. “Don’t be crazy; they’re gifts.”
Before Olivia could ask anymore, I hailed a cab, and we all got into it. As we drove home, I fixed my eyes out the window, wondering what I was going to do next. I’d been predictable for such a long time. I’d been very careful ever since the accident, so to know that anything could happen at any moment was exciting. I liked the sense of being out of control.
“I’m going to carry her in,” Lark insisted as I paid the cab driver. “Meghan looks exhausted. I don’t think she’ll make it up the stairs.”
We took the elevator to try and get in quicker, but it didn’t matter. The day had worn Meghan out, and she fell asleep in Lark’s arms. She looked so peaceful and angelic lying there in his arms, but Olivia only looked stressed.
“Oh my goodness, she’s asleep already? She’s going to wake up so early.”
“Don’t worry about that now,” Lark chuckled. “She might not, she’s done a lot today so you might get lucky. I’ll put her to bed, which way is her room?”
While Olivia pointed him in the right direction, he shot me a warning look. It was almost as if he could sense the change within me and he knew that I wanted to kiss Olivia. Was this him giving me the time to do so? I wasn’t willing to pass up the opportunity, just in case.
As soon as he’d gone from sight, I pulled Olivia back to me and pressed my lips more gently up against hers. The sparks came back. I felt that wonderful fluttering sensation running through me again, so I wrapped my arms tighter around her. I wanted to cling to this feeling for as long as possible.
It was just a shame that she didn’t seem to feel the same way.
“Stop it.” She finally pushed back and forced her lips away from mine. Her eyes were wide and questioning. “Why do you keep doing that?”
Because I really want to, because you’re beautiful because I actually like you!
“Because you look like you need a kiss,” I told her instead with a smirk. “Why else?”
She pressed one hand to my chest to keep a distance between us. “I don’t need a kiss from you or anyone else, thank you very much,” she replied firmly. “And, I don’t really appreciate the suggestion that I might.”
I shrugged, acting like it didn’t bother me. “If that’s what you think, that’s fine.”
I moved towards the door and waited for Lark to come out from the bedroom. It was awkward for a few moments, but soon he was there, and he could instantly tell from mine our body language that it hadn’t gone well.
“You struck out, huh?” he asked me quietly as we made the journey across the hallway. “Shame. I thought I sensed some chemistry between you two today.”
That bucked me up. If Lark could see it, then there had to be something between Olivia and me. He wasn’t very observant when it came to things like that. She was resisting it, probably for all the sensible reasons, such as the fact that we had to see each other every day and I was her patient. But if there were something between us, then she would succumb to it eventually. If I continued to be my charming self, then it wouldn’t belong.
“I didn’t strike out,” I told Lark warmly. “I’m playing the long game. You’ll see.”
“Hmm, it sounds like you're too optimistic, but we’ll see.” Lark paused thoughtfully for a moment. “But her kid is cool. I actually like Meghan; she’s sweet.”
“Yeah, me, too. A lot of fun, you know, for a three-year-old.”
“Well, that’s good.” Lark shrugged and smiled at me. “In case you’re right, and things do work out for you and her mom.”
“I don’t know about ‘work out,’ but I am right. You’ll see soon enough.”
I felt certain that I was right.
Chapter Ten
Olivia
Early Saturday Morning
I tossed and turned in my bed, managing to tangle myself up in the sheets as I did. I was so tired when I got into bed, I thought I’d drift off right away, but ever since my head hit the pillow, I’d only been able to think of one thing.
Zack. And that kiss. Well, actually both kisses.
I didn’t like to admit it, but his lips against mine felt wonderful. He awoke a desire in me that had lain dormant, that I didn’t think would come back to me again for a very long time. After the way that Meghan’s father behaved, I didn’t think I would ever like anyone again…
I hated Zack, but there was something about him that made my body react. It was as if my deep down, powerful subconscious instincts didn’t care about his dickhead personality. It only cared about his hot body. I wanted him, despite the fact that I didn’t actually like him, which was something that I’d never felt before. It was driving me crazy. I had a deep and powerful itch inside of me, and it really needed to be scratched.
How dare he get under my skin like that! What gave him the right to make me think about him in such a way?
It wasn’t fair. He could have easily just left me alone, and things could’ve remained at the awkward stand-offish relationship that we had before. That sucked, but this was so much worse. This left me with absolutely no power, and I didn’t like that at all. I didn’t like the ball being firmly in his court. It made me vulnerable, and damn it; I did not move to
New York City to be vulnerable again. No way!
I jumped out of bed, giving up on the idea of sleep, and I padded through the apartment, grabbing the monitor as I walked. I knew that she was older now and that we lived in a much smaller place, so if Meghan woke up I would like hear her without the device, but I spent a fortune on it when she was born. I ensured I got one with a very long distance range because at the time I was sure that I needed it, and damn it; I was going to get my money worth.
I carried it with me into the kitchen and set it down on the counter while I poured myself an ice cold glass of water. I wanted to calm myself down, to stop myself from doing something stupid, but it didn’t do anything. I was riled up, my body was absolutely on fire, and it made me furious. I sucked back the cool liquid like there was no tomorrow, but still, nothing within me changed. It was as if Zack had shifted something completely and there was no turning back.
As I glanced at the clock and saw the irritating time of 1:26 in the morning, the unfairness grabbed hold of me. Why should I be struggling to sleep while he lay probably soundlessly asleep just across the hall?
I wanted to wake him, to yell at him, to ensure he couldn’t get any rest just like I couldn’t. I needed him to know how fucking pissed off I was that he had taken it upon himself to put his hands on me without me asking for it, without me even wanting it…
Okay, so maybe I wanted it, but that was beside the point. He didn’t know that, did he?
As I thought about him in that reptile house, claiming me with his mouth, I bit down on my bottom lip while my core buzzed with excitement. My whole body hummed with desire, and I knew there was only one thing that could give me the release that I so desperately needed, but that didn’t mean anything. It was just a fantasy…wasn’t it?
I hook my head, trying to throw the idea out of my brain, but it wasn’t going anywhere. The less I tried to think about Zack, the clearer the image of him became in my mind and the more I wanted to get my hands on that damn picture.
Without thinking any more about it, I grabbed hold of the monitor and the apartment keys, and I stalked across the hall to give him what for. Zack was probably very happy with the knowledge that he had me exactly where he wanted me, and I wanted to let him know that he didn’t. I wasn’t going to lie back and let him silence me.
Actually, I wasn’t really sure what I was doing. I just knew that I needed to see him.
I hammered so loudly on his door that I probably woke up the whole building, but by that point, I truly didn’t care. I’d made my decision, and I wouldn’t leave until I woke at least him up.
Finally, the door swung open and his sleepy-looking face greeted me. With his ruffled hair and his eyes, half closed, my heart dipped and lifted all at once. I didn’t know how to feel, which was only made worse when he spoke to me.
“Olivia? What are you doing here?”
“I… I don’t know,” I admitted. “I…” All the endless yelling that I had in my mind faded to one side as my eyes trailed down his half-naked body . Did he have to sleep in just his underwear? Was he really that determined to send me insane? “I have an itch,” I heard my mouth speaking without me really considering my words. “Can you scratch it?”
His eyes went wide for a moment before he regained himself. He grinned brightly, all of sudden looking much more awake, and took my hand in his. As he led me into his bedroom, he kept his eyes fixed on mine the entire time, and it felt like he was seeing deep into my soul. For the first time in a very long time, I didn’t mind that sensation. I was pretty sure that was because I didn’t even like this man. I was just there to use him physically.
Okay, so I hadn’t exactly told him off, but I was here to use his body. That was just as good, wasn’t it?
Oh fuck it, I needed to stop thinking. I needed to switch my brain off and to listen to my body for once.
I placed the monitor down on the bedside table, finally thanking my past self for having the sense to get one with such a long range, and grabbed onto Zack’s hips. As my skin touched him, I spotted a look of shock cross his face again. Maybe he thought this was part of a game and that I wasn’t actually about to go through with it. To prove that I was, I yanked him towards me and brought myself onto my tiptoes, pulling him in for a kiss. This time, it was much more passionate, and we could both tell that it was leading somewhere exciting.
I didn’t even care that it wasn’t wise – that hardly mattered. There were so many reasons why this shouldn’t be happening, and only one reason why it should. But the fact that I wanted it to was powerful enough to overshadow any other reasoning.
Zack grabbed at the oversized tee shirt I slept in and pulled it up over my head, leaving me standing in front of him in only my lace panties. It was dark so that he couldn’t see me too well, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t overly fond of my post-baby body, but since I didn’t even like Zack, it hardly mattered what he thought of me. We were only here together for a physical release.
I ran my fingers lightly along the waistband of his underwear, which caused him to shiver lightly. I knew then that I was turning him on. It gave me a confidence boost that I didn’t even realize that I needed. As I dipped my hand into his underwear and felt his thick, throbbing erection, I actually had to gulp to keep myself from crying out with glee. Touching him for real was even better than the idea of him in my mind – he was bigger, pulsing, exciting.
“Oh God,” Zack groaned while tossing his head backward. “Olivia, you have no idea how good that feels.”
I wrapped my fingers tightly around him and started to move at a slow pace, picking up as I saw how much it thrilled him. Watching the man who’d tortured me over the last few days turn into a shuddering mess felt a whole lot better than yelling at him could’ve done. I enjoyed having him like putty in my hands.
But then Zack tugged my hand out of his underwear and slammed me back against the wall. The cold surface shocked me, but it did nothing to dull the heat radiating throughout my body. The fire had been fully lit now, and it seemed that nothing was going to put it out.
“You have been driving me crazy for days,” Zack murmured against my neck as he traced his fingers tantalizingly up and down my thighs. “I never thought I’d end up having you here.”
I was animalistic and wild. I didn’t need to have any serious conversation about this. I just wanted to act, so I dug my nails into his sides and pulled him closer to me. I rolled my hips into him, trying to show Zack that the storm was brewing inside of me and if he weren't careful, it would become a tornado.
Luckily for me, Zack seemed to get the hint and moved his hand to where I was desperately gagging for him. He slid my panties to one side and ran one of his fingers down my hot, wet slit.
Until that very moment, I hadn’t noticed just how rough and calloused his fingers were. It had to be from his time in the Forces and was actually surprisingly sexy. It made my heart beat faster, the sizzle in my stomach explode, and my knees grow so weak it was challenging for me to remain upright. If things didn’t move on soon, I wasn’t sure how much longer I’d be able to keep standing.
“I need you,” I hissed at him. “Oh God, Zack.”
He nudged my knees further apart, and he pushed my underwear further away from me. I felt his length tantalizingly teasing my entrance as if begging to be let inside. I tried to press against him, to give him that permission, but he was determined to tease me for a moment first.
He pressed his forehead up against mine and stared into my eyes with something that looked a deeper than lust. I wasn’t sure how to take that, so I pushed harder, and soon, he was in me.
“Oh fuck,” I groaned as he filled me up amazingly. This was exactly what I needed; fuck knows how I’d managed to survive so long without it. It felt so fucking good. I’d forgotten that it could be so amazing. “Oh, Zack.”
As his thrusts intensified, I lost myself completely to the sensations. Nothing else mattered, the whole world shrunk down to just me and him. It was f
ucking phenomenal, and I never wanted it to end…
Chapter Eleven
Zack
Saturday
I stretched my arms across the bed even before I opened my eyes. I needed my body to feel awake before I could even begin to bring my mind back into the life of the living. This was very different for me, these lazy mornings where I could get up at whatever time I wanted, and I found myself still getting used to them. Everything used to be so regimented, so controlled…but back in those days, I still had a purpose.
Here and now, I was still trying to figure out what the hell I was doing.
As my hand hit the pillow next to me, I half expected it to bang into the warm body of the beautiful young lady who had shocked me in the middle of the night by turning up for a very random, very passionate screw. All day long, she had acted like she hated me, then just as I was drifting off to sleep, she hammered on the door and demanded that we had sex. It was hot as fuck and just proved my theory right – that she did actually feel something when I had kissed her. I knew it!
Of course, she wasn’t going to be lying in bed next to me. I knew that since she left straight away afterward, clutching her baby monitor as if it was her lifeline. But at some point, she must have infiltrated my dreams because I had this vision of her remaining by my side all night long.
But this way was better. It made everything far less complicated if everyone knew where they stood.
My phone beeped, and for a heart-stopping moment, I allowed myself to believe that it was Olivia. I grabbed onto it like an excitable schoolboy with a crush but was sent flying into an abyss of disappointment when I noticed the word “Dad” on the screen.
“Hi Son, I’m coming over today so we can discuss this charity of yours more. See you at about eight thirty-ish.”
Eight thirty-ish meant eight thirty on the dot. My father might not have been in the military for a very long time, but he still clung to the discipline like it was the only thing keeping him alive. His hair remained in a buzz cut, he loved everything to be neat and organized, and he was never, ever late.