by Davis, Alexa
Still, he lost out, not me. Meghan was worth all the struggles in the world. Ben could give his new family everything, and I hoped for his other child that he did. He would never get to know his amazing firstborn, and that wasn’t something that he could ever take back. It was too damn late.
“Hot, hot, hot!” Meghan squealed, dropping the cake on the table. “It’s too hot.”
“I know that it’s just come out of the oven,” I chuckled. “You need to give it just a moment to cool down. You can’t just eat it right away, unfortunately.”
“Oh, I didn’t know.”
“Well, now you do, so just be careful sweetheart,” I told her while kissing the end of her nose.
“There are too many for just us,” Meghan told me thoughtfully. She tapped her chin and examined the cakes. “Shall we take some to Zack?”
My stomach twisted at the mere mention of Zack’s name. I didn’t know how the hell I was supposed to feel about him. Both times we slept together I kept telling myself that it wouldn’t happen again, but the magnetic draw was still there. Even when I wasn’t with him, I continued to think about him all the time. I tried to push him from my mind, but he was there all the time.
And, that stint with my G-string! I didn’t know how to feel about that at all. I could not believe that he’d pushed them through my door in a brown paper bag. It was just lucky that it was me that found them, not Meghan or Drea. I wasn’t sure how on Earth I would even begin to explain that one away, especially since there was a little note attached.
Still, as much as I was annoyed with it, it sent a thrill racing through my body. It was a crazy little secret, a taboo act which made it all the more exciting.
“We could just save them,” I said innocently with a shrug. “Have them later on.”
“But we can make more,” Meghan insisted. “I like baking; we can bake more.”
I sighed loudly and nodded. “Alright then, as soon as they cool down we’ll take some over to Zack. We better go and change out of our pajamas then; we can’t go across looking like this.”
Meghan raced over to her bedroom quickly, singing the same song over and over again. I shook my head and giggled to myself at her adorable innocence. She couldn’t seem to understand that there was a real awkwardness between Zack and me, which was fair enough since I shielded her from it. But the problem with that was I kept getting drawn back in without me even meaning to.
Once Meghan had her favorite dress on, and I was wearing a much more presentable jeans and tee shirt combo, we made our way to the hall to Zack’s apartment. My heart pounded in my chest with anxiety, but I tried my best to hide it with a bright beaming smile.
“That’s enough, Megs, you don’t have to keep knocking,” I told her quietly as she continued to pound on the door. “Zack might not even be in.”
As the door swung open, I sucked in a deep breath of air, but as I spotted Lark there looking back at me, I blew it back out. “Oh, hey, Meghan. Hi Olivia. You okay?”
“Yeah…is Zack in?” Something felt wrong, there was something off about the feelings between Lark and me and I couldn’t quite work out what it was. It made me worried about Zack and his leg. “Is he okay?”
“He’s sick, actually,” Lark told me regretfully. “I think it might be flu. I don’t know what happened; he was okay one minute, just complaining of a headache, and the next he was totally wiped out.”
“Has he seen the doctor?” I didn’t like the sound of that, it was worrying. I hadn’t ever had the flu myself, nothing worse than a terrible common cold, but it didn’t seem right. “Should he not be in the hospital getting some real care?”
“Yeah, yeah, he’s just been told to rest. Zack doesn’t like the hospital because he hates being in the spotlight. I’m just hanging out here to look after him, get him stuff as he needs it.”
Spotlight? Why would Zack need to stay out of the spotlight? He was ex-military, wasn’t he? Not someone famous . Unless he’d been lying to me about that, but I certainly didn’t know him. I wanted to press Lark, to ask him for more information, but since he didn’t volunteer anything, it didn’t feel right to ask. Maybe that was something that I would just have to discover later on. I certainly didn’t think that was a comment I would forget anytime soon.
“Do you want a break? I can always check in on Zack if you want?”
“I and you can play games!” Meghan insisted, completely missing the point of my offer “Hang out while Mommy looks after Zack.”
“Oh no, I meant while Lark went home…”
“No, I like that plan. We can all hang out here.” Lark stepped to one side, and he invited us in. “I would love some company if you really don’t mind?”
Meghan raced in past Lark, excited to play games with him again which left me with no choice. Not that I minded, I wanted to check in on Zack. I wasn’t a medical professional, but I still needed to see that he was okay. I didn’t want to admit it, but it was more for my peace of mind than anything else.
I poked my head into the bedroom to see Zack’s steaming hot, sweaty body tucked under the sheets. He was asleep, but he didn’t look rested. His expression was one of strain and pain. My heart went out to him – the poor boy had enough agony in his life, he didn’t need more. I wanted to do something to take it all away from him, but it looked like Lark had done a pretty good job of taking care of his friend. He had endless drinks, snacks, and air pouring into the room.
“Olivia,” Zack mumbled, making me jump. “Olivia.”
“Yes, I’m here,” I told him quietly. “What do you need?”
But he didn’t answer me, and as I stepped closer to him, it became acutely obvious that he was still sleeping. Maybe he sensed me for just a moment before drifting off to sleep, or maybe he was dreaming about me. Either way, he clearly didn’t need me now, so I would have to tear myself away, just for a moment.
“He seems okay,” I told Lark with a smile. “I mean, still sick, but alright for the moment. I’ll keep going in to check on him while you play.”
“I don’t know if I want to keep playing Megs, she’s better than all the pros!”
“I keep forgetting you play professionally,” I said as I started to pour everyone drinks. “That must be pretty exciting.”
“I like it,” he shrugged. “It gets me around a lot. I’ve been in Las Vegas a lot recently which is always fun. I am pretty good, too, which means I win a lot… The prize pot is good.”
“Yeah,…it sounds fun.” Lark didn’t sound totally convinced by it, which confused me. Surely as a gamer, it was his dream life, so why did he seem like he wanted more? Unfortunately, we didn’t yet know one another well enough for me to ask that question. “Do you do a lot of playing in New York?”
“I don’t, actually.”
“Oh, so why do you stay? Why don’t you move with the gaming?” His answer surprised me. It seemed a bit counterproductive to remain somewhere that work wasn’t.
“It’s my home,” he replied tightly. “And Zack is here, too. After his accident, a lot of his friends peeled away without really meaning to, so I wouldn’t leave him.”
My heart thumped for Zack. It was so unfair of him to go through so much in such a short space of time. An accident that ended his career and took his friends away from him. The mental anguish of all of that probably hindered his recovery and made everything much slower. “Well, thank God he has you,” I said seriously. “You’re a good friend, Lark.”
“Yeah well… If he wants to stay here to keep under the radar, then I will, too.”
There it was again, the suggestion that Zack had something to hide. Now that Lark had brought it up again I felt more comfortable with asking him what he meant. I opened my mouth and went to speak…but I didn’t get a chance to say anything.
“Do you want to watch a movie?” Meghan interrupted quickly. “Do you want to watch my princess film? We can eat cupcakes.”
I expected that to be the limit for Lark, he didn’t exactly
look like the sort who would sit around and watch animated princess films, but to my surprise, he nodded enthusiastically. “That sounds awesome, Meg. Movie and treats…so much better than being on my own.”
“I’ll go and get some popcorn from home,” I told them both. “I’ll be back in a moment.”
As I snuck back home, I typed “Zack Taylor” into the Internet on my phone quickly to see what dirt I could dig up on him on my own, but nothing appeared. That only piqued my interest more as an exciting list of possibilities filled my mind. There was something about Zack, something that I needed to find out, and although I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to go about that without being too damn obvious, I knew I would find a way.
After all, the man was in my life now – he was in my daughter’s life. It was practically my duty to discover everything that needed to be known.
Or maybe that was just my way of justifying being nosy. Either way, I would still find out the truth.
Chapter Nineteen
Zack
Early Monday Morning
The fever raced agonizingly through my body, leaving me tossing and turning in my bed like a crazy person. The blankets kept falling off me, which was a relief at the time because I was completely and utterly on fire, but then the shivers would come, shaking me, rattling my bones, and the blankets would magically appear. Someone had to be taking care of me, but I was far too out of it to work out who.
“Hello?” I growled through a painful, red raw throat. “Hello?” I couldn’t get any more words out than that because a hacking cough filled up my lungs leaving me unable to speak.
“Did you call out?” I popped my eyes open as a distinctly female voice replied to my yelling. If anyone I thought it would be Lark, or maybe my father. When I spotted the gorgeous red hair and sweet face of Olivia looking back at me, I figured I must be dreaming and hallucinating. “Zack, do you need anything? Is there something I can do for you?”
Well, if I was dreaming, I might as well take full advantage of the situation. Maybe if I tested my fantasies out while I was asleep, I could get an idea of how it would turn out in real life. “I need to take you out on a date,” I rasped back. “So you could always say yes.”
“Oh.” Her eyes widened in shock before she quickly shook her head. “I actually meant water or something. I can get you a drink through a straw if that makes it easier?”
“We might as well already be dating,” I continued, completely ignoring her kind request to keep me hydrated. “You keep turning up in my bedroom, so why not?”
“You’re delirious, you fool!” she chuckled at me. “I’m going to get you a drink.”
It wasn’t long until she came back with an ice cold glass of water which she practically forced me to drink. She tucked the straw between my lips and placed her hand underneath my head. It made me ache more all over, but I was glad because as the icy liquid flew through my body, I felt myself coming back to life. It was as if everything inside of me had turned to dust like I was a desert inside, and the water running through me was washing some of that away.
“Thank you,” I muttered, as I flopped my head backward. “That’s better.”
“You just wait here,” she told me kindly. “I’ll be back in a moment with a cold washcloth to place on your forehead. We need to cool your temperature down.”
“I’ll wait,” I replied. “And, I’ll stay awake, too.”
But as soon as she was gone, my eyes instantly slid back closed again as the exhaustion washed over me. I wanted to wake up now, I wanted to spend some time with Olivia whether she was in my dreams or not, but I couldn’t. Sleep needed me, and I couldn’t ignore it…
***
“Huh? What?” I bolted into an upright position with sweat dripping all over my body. I felt wide awake but still asleep all at once; it was the weirdest sensation ever. The fever was still there, dizzying me and leaving me feeling strange, but it wasn’t as bad as it was before. I felt like I had a little bit of myself in there now, which wasn’t there before.
I slid my legs to the ground and rubbed my throbbing head. The sunlight was so blinding and white, it was challenging to see through, but I was going to have to make my way through it all eventually.
My bladder was full to the brim, and my desperation to go to the bathroom was getting to the boiling point, so I needed to move. The muscles in my arms felt weak, but there was just about enough strength in them to get my body into a standing position. My knees knocked together, my thighs felt shaky, and a deep sickness swirled inside of me. But I was up, that was a plus. If I just focused on that part, then it didn’t feel too bad…
Until I took a step. My knees weren’t ready for it, and the left one gave way. My whole leg buckled as I fell to the ground with a loud thump. “Ah, shit!” I cried out in dismay. “Fucking hell.” There was pain everywhere, even worse than usual.
“Oh my God, what happened?” I’d spent so long focusing on the new agony on my shoulder I didn’t hear Olivia’s footsteps racing towards me. “Zack, are you okay?”
“I didn’t know you were here,” I muttered to her. I blinked a few times, trying to get some memories back into my brain, but all I could draw was a frustrating blank. My mind was gray and fuzzy, emptier than ever before. “How long have you been here?”
“Long enough,” she replied in a bemused tone of voice. “Come on, let’s get you up.”
There was something in her tone that made me want to question her more, but I didn’t get the chance because she was already hoisting me into an upright position. Something must have happened during the time I was out of it, and I suppose it was something I’d have to find out later on.
“I need the bathroom,” I told her honestly instead. “Do you mind helping me there, I don’t want to fall and pee my pants.”
“Of course, I will!” She tucked under my armpit and led me in the right direction. As she moved me, a cheeky sense of fun-filled me, and I couldn’t resist giving her a flirty comment. I had an odd sense of déjà vu in my chest, but I wasn’t quite sure where from.
“Are you coming in with me? You could hold it if you like?”
“Hold what… Oh for goodness sake, Zack!” she half laughed. “I’m really trying to help you here. If you’re going to be a dick about it, then you can help yourself.”
“Don’t be so uptight,” I teased. “Just…wait for me here.”
She leaned her body up against the hallway wall and gave me one little smile before I made my way into the bathroom. While I peed, I smirked to myself as I thought about Olivia sitting with me all night long. She was definitely the sort of girl I wanted to date…
Wait, date. Something about that word stirred something deep inside of me. I could remember myself saying something, but I wasn’t totally sure if it was a dream or not.
“I need to take you out on a date. We might as well already be dating. You keep turning up in my bedroom, so why not?”
Did I actually say such forward things to Olivia? We were way past being polite, but that felt a bit far. Especially as I couldn’t recall the answer however hard I tried.
As I finally got out of the bathroom, hobbling on my bad leg, I noticed that Meghan and Lark were also standing in the hallway, looking at me as if I was some kind of freak to be stared at in a zoo. It made me shift uncomfortably on my feet.
“Oh wow, I am loved,” I told them all sarcastically with a silly little bow. “It’s nice to get an audience while I pee.”
“We weren’t exactly an audience; we weren’t in the bathroom with you. And, don’t make jokes about that,” Lark warned me. “We’ve all been really worried about you. At one point, Olivia had to force me not to drag you into the hospital. I thought the fever was about to get the better of you. I was honestly freaking out.”
“Don’t worry too much,” Olivia gave Lark a strong look. “I knew that as soon as your fever broke, you would be okay. You weren’t so bad to need the hospital.”
“We made you
cupcakes,” Meghan interjected, taking the heat off me for a moment. Lark’s words truly had me worried despite Olivia’s insistence for me not to. Was I really that ill? It wasn't like him to worry over anything . “But Mommy said you might like toast first?”
“Toast would be amazing.” I ruffled her hair and grinned at her. Meghan’s sweetness overshadowed everything else. “Thank you, sweetheart.”
“And water, I bet,” Olivia gave me an imploring look as if she wanted to see how I felt really. “You need to keep hydrated today really. You’ll probably need some more rest, too.”
“Oh, I don’t think I could ever sleep again.” I tried to protest that I wasn’t tired, but even as the words left my mouth, I felt a wave of tiredness crashing over me. Maybe I could go back to bed, but I wanted to spend some time with my friends first. “Oh no, maybe not. I’ll just grab some food, something to drink; then I might go and get some more rest.”
“Well, we’re here all day long, buddy.” Lark cocked his head and grinned at me. “So whatever you need, we’ll sort it for you. Slaves for a day, and all that.”
I was touched. His words actually left me too emotional to answer him, so I simply gave him a sharp nod instead. I’d spent a lot of my time in the recent months feeling quite lonely. I missed all the people who were no longer in my life, but now I could quite clearly see the ones who were meant to be there were. Lark was an incredible friend to stick around during my hour of need, and Olivia was amazing, too. She had probably taken the day off of work just to see that I was okay, despite the fact that she barely knew me, really.
Well, it was time to change that . As soon as I got better, I would begin to really open myself up to her. For the first time in ages, I would actually let someone in, and I was excited for that.
***
I spent the next few hours waking on and off, leaving me unable to tell what was real and what was merely a creation of my mind. When my mom was sitting at the end of my bed talking to me, I knew that was a dream. But when Olivia’s lips pressed against mine, I wasn’t totally sure. It felt real, but it was unlikely that she would want to kiss me while I was in this state.