by Anna Scott
“Yeah?” I asked in a groggy, sleep filled voice.
“Hope, honey, are you all right?” It was Aurora. She sounded panicked.
“I’m fine, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing, Jake called, said he couldn’t get hold of you. Luke is on his way over.”
“Sorry, he doesn’t need to do that, I’m fine, just fell asleep on the couch.”
She stayed on the phone with me until I heard knocking on the door. Moving to it, I checked the peephole, confirmed it was indeed Luke, disabled the alarm and let him in.
“Hey, Hope. You okay?”
“Sorry you came all the way over here, I’m fine. I fell asleep on the couch and didn’t hear my phone.”
“No problem, don’t worry about it. Jake called, he sounded concerned.”
“Thanks, everything is quiet.” I tried to sound appreciative, instead of expressing the irritation I felt at Jake’s high-handedness.
“Be careful with that, quiet is the jinx.” Luke’s chuckled response caught me by surprise. It was good to hear, though, he must not feel too put out by Jake’s freak out.
“How’s that?” I was curious about that particular word, not sure I wanted to know, though.
Shaking his head in humor, he told me, “When we’re at work, if someone says things are quiet, we’ll get some crazy call and end up there forever.”
Grinning in understanding, I hid the feeling of trepidation that ran up my spine. I’d worked hard all night to put all thoughts of Tim from my mind.
I watched as Luke’s face grew more serious. Leaning against the back of the couch, he crossed his arms over his chest and looked at me. I waited, not sure I wanted to know what he was about to say.
“Rory’s told me a little about your ex.”
Straightening, I felt my entire body tighten. I wasn’t angry with Aurora though; I’d told her about it all one night after had way too much wine. I didn’t respond to Luke, just waited for him to continue.
“Do you think it was him?” Yes, I absolutely did think it was him. There wasn’t anyone else that it could conceivably be. The last thing I wanted to do, though, was to share that horrible story with anyone else. I didn’t have the choice of ignoring his question, unfortunately, it would be extremely rude of me. Besides, if he already knew the story, there wasn’t any reason not to level with him.
“I don’t know, probably.” My gaze was fixed on the coffee table, I couldn’t make eye contact with Luke, I was too embarrassed. No matter that I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong, there was still a layer of pride that had been hurt. In my darker moments, I thought that I should have known somehow, that I should have seen it coming. In my rational mind, I absolutely knew that wasn’t true, but much like the women I counseled, I maintained some amount of shame.
“Could it be anyone else?” He asked after studying me for a while.
“No, no one I can think of. The thing is, he doesn’t live here, he shouldn’t know where I live.”
“When was the last time you heard from him?” Luke’s concern was written all over his face. I felt like crap, I didn’t want to put this on him. It was over, had been for years.
My lips tightened and brows furrowed in concentration.
“Two years, maybe, we broke up about four years ago, but he-” I paused, not ready to go on, not sure how much I wanted to share, or how much he knew.
“He what, sweetheart?” Luke was a sweet guy, very friendly, but the terms of endearment he used always sounded sisterly when directed at me.
“He left me notes, never signed, of course, no prints, until two years ago.”
“But you were back here then, you went to grad school here, did he know where you lived?”
“Yeah, I don’t know how he found me, I was living in that little apartment then. He knew where my parents live, so when I transferred down here after we broke up, I don’t think it was hard for him to figure out where I’d gone.”
Nodding, Luke’s fists flexed, but otherwise, he stayed calm and cool.
“Well, if he found you then, he could probably find you now, especially after Nolan died.” Luke paused a bit, considering something, then continued. “If the guy knew you were friends, he could have seen the notices in the paper, Nolan’s services were public.”
Mulling it over, considering the possibility that Tim could have found me that way, I had to admit that it was probable. If he lived here now, though, he could have seen me anywhere.
“Do you still have a restraining order? Aurora said you’d gone to the police; I assume they issued one.”
Frustration coursed through my body all over again. “No, it wasn’t ever served. They didn’t catch him. After everything happened, he disappeared.”
We talked for a little longer, then he finally left. Of course by then, my mind was racing with thoughts of Tim. I was still tired, but knew I’d never sleep, so I sat down and started watching season one of Project Runway. I made it half way through season two before I passed out on the couch.
Chapter 4
Jake
“What’s going on with Hope?” Luke’s question pulled me back to the present. The guys all met up at Bud’s, a local dive bar in Plano. The place was old, probably looked older than it actually was, but I didn’t remember a time when it wasn’t there.
The wood sided exterior probably hadn’t been painted in fifteen years, there were remnants of some blue-gray paint clinging on for dear life along the edges of each board giving the place a sinister look. The inside was dark, as you’d expect, the bar long and clear of all clutter. Oak bar stools, matching the bar lined the entire expanse, save for a small area for the waitresses to stand.
A myriad of wood tables dotted the room, all with high stools surrounding them. This wasn’t a place to come and watch the game or to bring a date, it was, however the perfect place to blend in and drink.
The mix of people was the most interesting thing about the place. Of course, you’d find the standard bikers, old vets, young vets, bar flies and cranky old waitresses who wouldn’t take shit from anyone, but also a strange number of professional types and nicely dressed women frequented the place. The latter two always seem to be sitting alone, in a dark area of the room.
Over the years, I’d watched these anomalies, wanting to know if they were coming to hook up with someone from the wild side or maybe participating in something illegal. Neither appeared to be the case. They rarely talked, didn’t order martinis or glasses of wine. They drank, almost exclusively, vodka or whiskey and only talked to the waitresses and bartenders.
Tonight was quiet, a Wednesday night in Plano, Texas. Reed, Grant, Trent, Luke and I sat around two high-top tables, pushed together near the back of the large room. Everyone tried to get together once a week, though with our varying schedules, often times one or more of us wouldn’t be able to make it. It was important though, after Nolan’s suicide, we’d realized how much we needed each other’s support.
Thinking about Luke’s question, I didn’t know how to answer. I’d barely spoken to Hope since Monday morning. She’d called yesterday to thank me for all the security upgrades to her house and offered to pay. I did my best not to get pissed at that and instead, tried to respect her strength and independence.
“I have no idea. Why?” I was curious why Luke thought I would have some insight into the woman. I liked her, noticed her right away when we’d met, but aside from that one crazy night – one I’d love to repeat – there wasn’t much more between us. Sure, I was worried about her and the creepy as shit note on her porch and wanted to protect her, but she didn’t seem to want to let me do it. I’d love a hell of a lot more from her, but I didn’t think she was going to let me do that, either.
Luke studied me for a long time, I could tell there was something he wanted to say, but he refrained.
“What did she tell you about the note?” His question stunned me, had she said something to him about it? Did he know more about this fucked up mess than I did?
“Not much, told me she was fine and didn’t know who it was from.”
Luke’s lips tightened and forehead wrinkled in either concern or frustration. If I were to wager a guess, it would be frustration.
“What do you know?” I asked, sharply questioning him. If there was more to his, I needed to know. I couldn’t help her if I didn’t have the entire story.
With a small shake of his head, he looked down into his beer and I could practically see the wheels turning in his head.
“Fucking spill it, Luke, I need to know what the fuck is going on.”
Luke’s gaze shot up to me, his eyes narrowed on my face, assessing me – for what, I wasn’t sure.
“How well do you know her?” he asked, strangely, I thought.
“Well enough, I don’t know. Why?” I knew my answer wasn’t going to be enough to elicit more from him. It would only be my concern for her that would win him over, if he felt like telling me was the lesser evil.
“She’s a quiet person, she doesn’t share freely. Aurora’s told me how she was painfully shy in school, so I think it’s hard for her to truly open up.”
Nodding my agreement, I tried to find a way to encourage more. “Look, Luke, I’m concerned for her. I am the one who found that shit on her porch Monday morning, I saw her fear. She tried to mask it, but I could see it just under the surface.” I took in a calming breath, trying to steady my words. “I don’t know how to help her without all the details. If there’s something you know, you need to tell me so I can help her. That’s all I’m trying to do, keep her safe.”
I didn’t think Luke was going to answer me, he stared off for so long, thinking. I could hear the buzz of quiet conversations all around us, but we were sitting close enough that we’d been able to speak so no one else would over-hear our conversation.
“She’s got a past.” Luke finally replied, cryptically, fucking asshole, I wished he’d just spill it already.
“Who doesn’t?” I barked back.
With a raised brow and a glare sent my way, he continued. “She’s been hurt before. I don’t know the details, but Aurora knows enough to be worried about her. I think it could be the same guy bothering her now.”
My blood actually boiled. I was livid. If she had any idea who this asshole was, she should have fucking told me. She could have given me a clue, instead of worrying about an unknown creeper.
Nodding, working to keep my anger masked, I encouraged Luke to go on.
“I don’t know many details, I know that whatever happened was a few years ago, when she was in Mississippi, but the guy came down here after she’d moved and left her notes and shit. I don’t know any more than that. I don’t feel right telling you her story, but I can’t watch over her, or I don’t think she’d let me, maybe she’ll let you.”
“As-fucking-if, that woman will barely let me within five feet of her. Thanks though, I’ll do what I can. Maybe I should have her stay with me for a while.” That thought had merit, I decided it would be my best course of action. I did have a guest room, but my bed was so much bigger and more comfortable. That would take care of two problems at once. She would be safe and she’d be in my bed.
The night passed easily from that point, but Hope was never far from my thoughts. The guys’ good-natured ribbing and adolescent antics lifted my spirits, and I enjoyed the time I spent with them.
We’d all served together in the Marines. It was strange happenstance that we each ended up in the area. There were a lot of service members here, but the fact that some of us knew each other before and served together, or met in the Corps and ended up in the same general area seemed unusual.
I for one, hadn’t grown up here. Dylan and I both grew up outside Philadelphia. Growing up the way we did, the military was about the only positive avenue available to us.
At the age of seven, my mom, two sisters and I moved in across the street from Dylan’s family. We were instant enemies, both trying to be top dog, until the second or third month when the neighborhood bully was picking on my youngest sister, Melissa.
Dylan saw what was happening and stepped in to protect her. He’d gotten his ass kicked. The following day, Dylan and I went together and took care of the bully, explaining, very gently of course, that picking on little girls was a pussy move and that we didn’t appreciate it. Okay, seriously, we beat the shit out of him, payback for seven year olds, and sometimes thirty-two year olds too.
My dad had left us three years before, no trace, no support. My mom worked her ass off to keep the house, but eventually it was just too much and she sold it before she lost it. No doubt, she was a smart woman. Mom had found us a much smaller house in a more run down area, but in the same school district. Instead of upper-middle class families, the new place was filled with single moms and younger couples. The few retired couples who’d been there since the neighborhood was new, kept an eye on all the kids left at home by working parents.
It hadn’t been the safest, but it wasn’t too bad. From that young age, I’d taken the job of protecting my sisters from anyone who would do them harm, including the strange guy who lived on the street behind us. For whatever reason, he’d always given me the creeps. I caught him trying to talk to Stephanie once, she was only one year younger than me, the middle child in our family. Thankfully, I’d been a teenager then. I’d come into my height, but was still rail thin. Stephanie wasn’t gullible though, whatever that guy would try to snow her with, wouldn’t work. I was more worried that he’d convince Melissa, the baby, to come over and search for his missing candy stash. We kept a close eye on her.
After a few hours, Trent and I walked out together. Once inside my truck, getting ready to turn toward home, I angled off in the opposite direction, toward Hope’s.
Chapter 5
Hope
The relentless pounding on my door wouldn’t stop. Whoever was here, really wanted to get my attention. I looked out the peephole and saw Jake, illuminated in the overly bright security light, he’d installed just a couple of days before. Strangely, he wasn’t looking at the door, his head was turned and his gaze was clearly trained on something down the street.
I really wanted to ignore him, I’d fallen asleep – finally. The pounding started again just after I’d stepped back from the door and walked to the alarm panel.
“Just a minute,” I called and thankfully he stopped. The last thing I needed was for my neighbors to wake up. They were generally nice people, but all families, no one that I knew of kept late hours.
Pulling the door open, I braced myself for Jake’s mood. I’d witnessed it enough times to know that when he was angry, he’d explode. His fuse seemed to be rather short but burned out quickly.
His volatility frightened me, with my past, any dominantly aggressive man would. I was sure that he wouldn’t hurt me, but didn’t fully trust my instincts since I’d trusted Tim once too.
“We need to talk,” he said, pushing into the house. I raised my eyebrows in question and preceded him as he motioned to the couch. I didn’t want to sit, whatever this was, I wanted to get it over with. The last thing I needed was Jake in my house, late at night. I had self-control, but seriously, resisting that man was too much to ask. This, however, didn’t seem like a social call.
“Why didn’t you tell me about your ex?” Oh shoot, oh shoot, oh shoot, this was not good, not good at all. I just knew that Luke wouldn’t keep his mouth shut.
“There’s not much to tell,” I said, breezily. That was a lie, but really, why did he think he had the right to know?
Jake’s face went stony; his look was ice cold. “Really? So, when I asked you Monday morning if you had any idea who could have left that shit on your porch, you didn’t think that maybe telling me was a good idea?” He was furious. I could understand, but it wasn’t like we were dating or something, he didn’t owe me anything, and I didn’t owe him anything.
“This isn’t your problem, Jake. I’ll handle it, I always have.” The glare he sent
me was arctic. I thought his look had been cold before, I was dead wrong. A muscle flexed in his jaw and I watched as he clenched and unclenched his fists. The sight of his hands like that did scare me. I could remember Tim’s hands doing that, it was a clear image in my mind.
My body reflexively moved, I stepped back, away from him and whatever he saw on my face must have registered with him. He immediately relaxed his posture and put his hands up in front of his chest, in what was supposed to be a calming position.
My heart didn’t calm, though, the adrenaline had kicked in and I was in fight or flight mode now. I could hear Jake saying something, he was trying to get my attention, but whatever he was saying, didn’t register.
I rarely had this type of flashback anymore. I’d gotten help, had seen a therapist for a long time after Tim’s attack, but once in a great while something would set me off. It was usually a conversation with my father.
“Hope!” Hearing the panic in Jake’s voice helped me to bring myself back. I’d been deep breathing, as I’d been trained to teach my own clients, and as I’d learned firsthand through my own counseling sessions. I focused on something positive and took slow, deep breaths to help counteract the fear.
Finally, after I’d heard his pleading for the third time, my eyes traveled slowly up until they met his. What I saw there stunned me. His eyes were indeed pleading, but also remorseful.
My heartbeat began to steady as I studied Jake’s face. I’d never seen anything like compassion on Tim’s face. I knew, intellectually speaking, that Jake wasn’t anything like my ex, but there were times I just couldn’t control my reactions.
“Are you okay?” Jake’s voice was gentle, as if he were coaxing a frightened kitten.
“Yes, thanks. I’m sorry, I don’t know what just happened.” I did, but didn’t want to explain, I knew that the sight of his fists had triggered this episode. Usually, I was able to control the fear before the memories took over.
Jake smiled hesitantly, seeming to understand what I wasn’t saying.