by Anna Scott
We’d had a quick conversation earlier, when she got home from work, but I didn’t have much time. I was sure that she was getting bored, sitting around my house alone all the time, but she hadn’t complained.
Holding her close to me, smelling her sweetness, my entire body relaxed into much-needed sleep. I didn’t feel her leave the bed the next morning, or wake when she left for work.
…
I jolted awake at the sound of my alarm, groggily rose from bed and looked around. Picking up my phone, I was irritated that I didn’t see a message from Hope. It was Saturday, she should be here. Anger, frustration and fear filled me instantly. Looking around the house, I found no note, no message, no fucking sign of her, she wasn’t here and she sure as fuck should be.
“Hope, where the fuck are you?” She’d answered on the third ring, but I hadn’t waited for her to say anything, no doubt my words belied just how pissed I was.
“Jake!” Her surprised response didn’t settle me down; I still didn’t know where she was. I could check the GPS locator on her car, but I hadn’t taken the time to do that.
“Where the fuck are you?” I growled, low.
“My word!” She exclaimed, still not fucking answering me.
“Hope, god dammit, where the fuck are you?” I bellowed over the line.
“Indulgence.” Finally, she answered, but why the fuck was she at Aurora’s store? I had no idea and I didn’t get the chance to ask, because she hung up, all I could hear was dead air.
My temper skyrocketed to new heights. I’d been worried about her, the shit with her ex was completely out of my control, and I couldn’t stand it.
I called her back, calming just enough to communicate – a little.
“Yes?” She asked angrily. She could join the fucking club on that shit.
“Why didn’t you tell me where you were going?” I did my best to control the tone this time. I needed to pull my shit together.
“I did. I told you Wednesday that I was going to help Aurora today. But, let me tell you something, Jake. Even if I hadn’t, that would be no excuse to talk to me like that.” She had been working hard to find her strength again and not fall back into old patterns and she appeared to be doing a great job of it.
“Shit, yeah, I forgot. You should have left me a note or reminded me. Something. Jesus, Hope, I woke up and freaked. With all the shit going on, you have to do better about letting me know where you are all the time.” My voice was still gruff, and she didn’t appreciate it one bit. It was true, though, I needed to know where she was, that she was safe. The new threat was still weighing heavily on my mind.
“I texted Aurora when I left and she told Luke. She told Luke when I got here.” Her words were measured, quiet and extremely calm, the kind of calm I knew held back a vortex of attitude just waiting to come out.
Since she’d come back into herself, feeling free with me, I’d seen it, just like I had months ago with Aurora and Amber. She could let fly when the circumstance warranted, she would let her feelings be known. It was not her nature to cower and be overly apologetic and defensive as she’d apparently had to be with her ex.
“Baby, stop.” I tried what had worked before, wanting to turn this argument around. She was right to be pissed, I’d been a dick. It still pissed me off that she hadn’t woken me, hadn’t let me know that she was leaving, but she had told someone.
“I think we’re done here, Jake. When you’re ready to speak to me kindly and without being rude we can speak again. I’ll have calmed down by then and will be ready to hear your apology.”
My what? She thought I was going to apologize? Shit, yeah, I probably should, but that was going to suck.
“I’m just saying Hope, I was home, and you know I worry about you, next time just let me know.”
“I get it, I do. I know that you worry and I really appreciate that, but don’t you see start off by screaming at me, that it puts up my defenses? I told you about my plans in advance. I am sorry that you forgot. However, that isn’t my fault. I didn’t want to wake you, so, as I’ve been doing all week, I texted and let someone know when I was leaving, what route I would take and when I arrived. You’re upset because I didn’t want to be rude and wake you. Is that about right? Or is it that I didn’t leave a note?”
“Yeah, both, you should have woken me, if you didn’t want to do that, you should have left me a note or texted me. That asshole is still out there, I want to make sure you’re good.”
“Thank you for taking care of so much for me. I appreciate it, next time you’re home and I have a thought that you don’t know where I’m going, I’ll do that. I’m not waking you up. It’s been quiet for a few weeks now, maybe the whole police station thing scared him off.”
I winced, but since she wasn’t with me, she couldn’t see it. I hadn’t told her about the new flowers and the note at her house the day before. I didn’t want her upset anymore and I didn’t want her to slip back into the freaked out person she’d been. I loved seeing her as the self-assured, confident woman I knew. Certain that I should tell her, I contemplated the situation for about a second, then decided to keep my mouth shut.
“I want you checking in regularly, just humor me, okay?”
“Fine. I need to go.” She wanted off the phone with me, that was obvious, I didn’t want her upset by the news of what the asshole had done, but I didn’t want her pissed at me either. I’d rather her be pissed though, than hurt.
Chapter 11
Hope
“What’s wrong?” Aurora asked from behind me. I spun around to look at her, jamming my finger on the screen of my phone to disconnect the call with Jake.
“Jake’s being a jerk. He woke up, I wasn’t there and he freaked.”
“Didn’t he know where you were going to be today?”
“Of course, I told him the other day, but he forgot. Honestly, he’s working a ton, totally crazy schedule. I think he’s more tired than he wants to let on and all this drama with me is weighing on him.”
Aurora’s sympathetic look was kind, and I knew that she understood. When everything went down with Nolan, she’d worried about being a burden on Luke, I was feeling the same way. I didn’t want this crap with Tim to burden Jake, especially now. Things were going well between us, but it was so new. I worried that it was all too much. It was a lot for everyone. Jake had arranged for our friends to check in with me, to help watch over me now that he was working a new assignment. I was a burden on everyone.
We got back to work. Aurora had received an entirely new line and was resetting the entire store. That’s why we were all here this morning. Dawn, Amber, Aurora and I were working hard. Gillian, the goddess-of-all, had already brought us coffee and snacks twice. She was my new girl-crush, mostly because her stuff was amazing.
I felt the weight of stress on me for the rest of the day, we enjoyed ourselves, joking and having fun while we worked, but the fight with Jake bothered me. I’d seen his controlling side several times, I’d also seen him be a jerk and let his mouth run without thought when he was upset. I didn’t want that to be unleashed on me again. The last thing I needed, with my history, was to be with a man who couldn’t control his tongue. Our time together was hot, explosive - sexually, and generally really good, but there were times that I saw more within him and it made me uneasy.
“What the hell?” Dawn hissed. We’d been in the store room, grabbing some new items to place. When we walked back out to the front of the store, Aurora was helping a man. They were standing in front of the scarves, just where Dawn was walking. Realization set in, it was Gavin.
A small giggle escaped, but I quickly stopped it when Dawn narrowed her glare at me. I used my thumb and forefinger to zip my lips and she smiled.
Walking over to join Amber behind the counter, we whispered and watched as Gavin tried to talk to Dawn. It was hilarious. This was just the fun I’d needed today. Aurora joined us after a few minutes.
As Gavin paid, then asked Dawn to go
to lunch, I had to force myself not to crack up over the entire scene. I couldn’t wait to find out what was going on. They obviously had some serious history, but so far, none of us had been able to pull it out of Dawn.
The day passed with no more from Jake, which was good, because I wasn’t ready to talk to him. That evening, once we’d finished, we all went to our respective houses, cleaned up, and headed back out to have dinner.
Dawn had made her excuses, apparently she had plans already, so she couldn’t join us. Amber had tried to get Gillian to come out with us too, but she’d declined as well, but hadn’t come up with an excuse. I noticed, once we’d all sat down that Gavin looked around the table in question. He also looked toward the door every time someone new walked in. I had a feeling that he was looking for Dawn.
My huge plate of shrimp primavera sat before me, only partially eaten when I pushed it away and leaned back in my chair. The portions were huge, but I would enjoy the excellent pasta dish again tomorrow. I was getting ready to ask the waitress who’d just stopped by our table for a box when I heard my phone ring inside my purse.
Digging it out, I read the screen before answering. It was another one of the counselors from Freedom House.
“Bernadette?” I asked in greeting. My fear ratcheted up, knowing that she would not be calling me unless there was a serious problem. I was terrified that something has happened to Vanessa. She’s been struggling so much, and sometimes I was the only one she’d talk to.
We were generally off on weekends, though we rotated with being on call for any emergency counseling sessions. At a battered women’s shelter, those were not infrequent.
“Hope, sorry to call you on your day off. It’s Celeste.” I heard the hesitation in her voice. Bernadette was on call this weekend, but Celeste was a patient that I saw every week. She was a sixteen-year-old girl, beautiful and sweet, but she and her mother had escaped years of abuse by her abusive father. Sadly, there were more cases like this than I could count.
“What is it?” I heard the tremble in my own voice as I asked, pulling my purse off the back of the chair and getting ready to slide into my jacket as I stood from the table. I opened my wallet, threw two twenties on the table and got ready to walk out with a look to Aurora. She knew the drill, they all did. What surprised me, was that Gavin and Luke stood from the table as well and started to walk toward me.
“She’s at Memorial, she slit her wrists.” Oh, lord, not again. I could not go through this again. Of course, I’d dealt with this at work before, but I was too raw after losing Nolan to suicide. My body started to tremble and I felt a hand clasp my shoulder, offering support.
“Is she-is she okay?” I was heartbroken. Frightened for this girl’s life and terrified for her mother. What her mother would go through after something like this would be horrendous.
“It doesn’t look good. I need you here, Hope. Marianna isn’t good.” Marianna was Celeste’s mother and I wasn’t surprised to hear that at all. I didn’t counsel Marianna regularly, but had a basic understanding of the situation. Marianna blamed herself for not getting Celeste out of that destructive house sooner.
“Of course, I’ll be right there.” We disconnected the call and I got ready to address the group, but the hand on my shoulder tightened, I’d forgotten it was there. I looked up to see Gavin and waited to find out what he was going to say.
“What’s going on?” He asked me, concern written all over his face. Gavin and I were friends, but not close. I was surprised by his sudden closeness, standing between him and Luke, I noticed that both men were looking down at me with the same concerned expression.
“I have to go, something’s up at work.” I couldn’t explain what happened, obviously, I’d never betray the confidentiality of a patient like that.
“You’re going to work?” Gavin queried.
“No, actually, I have to go to Memorial Hospital.” Gavin’s hand slipped away and he dug into his pocket and pulled out his keys.
“I’ll take you, give Luke your keys, he and Aurora can take your car home.” I was taken aback at the suggestion.
“That’s not necessary, I could be there all night.” I probably would be, depending on how Celeste did, her mother would need support.
“Hope, you shouldn’t be out late and alone like this. Not after you were followed. It’s dark, the roads will be all but deserted in another couple of hours. Let Gavin take you.” Luke was practically pleading with me. I didn’t have time to argue, so I just nodded my head.
I said a quick goodbye, handed my keys over to Luke and followed Gavin out of the restaurant.
When I was about five feet away from the table, I turned my head, looked over my shoulder and call back; “Just take my car to your house, maybe I can just sleep in your guest room tonight.”
I noted the surprise on Luke’s face, but he masked it quickly, “of course.”
Gavin and I made it to the hospital in just under twenty minutes. The ride was silent. My focus was on Celeste and Marianna. Gavin seemed to be focused on the road, which is good because he was driving fast.
“I don’t know what we’ll be walking into, depending on what’s needed, you won’t be able to stay too close.” I told him as we walked through the double doors into the emergency room.
“No problem. I’ll stay in the background and let you work.” I appreciated his support and understanding just then. He and Luke were right, I would have been nervous driving down here alone, and walking to my car later.
Finding Bernadette and Marianna, I saw the tears flowing down Marianna’s face. Bernadette was sitting with her, holding both her hands and offering comfort.
Bernadette and I make eye contact as she gave me a small shake of her head. I knew that Celeste hadn’t made it. I felt Gavin move away, positioning himself out of earshot, but where he could watch over me.
Rushing over to the women, I sat on the other side of the grieving mother; she immediately fell into me, and allowed us to hold her up.
She’d just lost her daughter. She was hiding from her husband, but I knew that he would have to be notified. That, thankfully wouldn’t be on Marianna or me.
Bernadette and I coaxed Marianna into a private family room and stayed in there with her for another couple of hours. She was completely distraught, but we are able to settle her down enough to head back to the shelter. Bernadette took her back in her own car, Gavin drove me. Regardless of Gavin’s position as a sheriff’s deputy, I didn’t want him to go inside with us. Thankfully, he was receptive and agreed to stay in the car.
It took another three hours before I was ready to head out. Bernadette agreed to stay on-site, just in case she was needed. I felt terrible that Gavin had been waiting for me for so long, as I started walking toward the front, I pulled out my phone and texted him.
I had another text from Aurora, checking in, but nothing else. Gavin replied back immediately and met me at the front door and walked me out to the car.
“Back to Luke’s?” He asked, confirming where I wanted to go.
“Yeah, thank you so much. I feel bad that you’ve waited for me so long.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
Waking my phone back up, I texted Aurora to let her know I was on my way there. I didn’t want to go home to an empty house tonight. It was almost three-in-the-morning. I had no idea if Jake was home.
If I were being honest with myself, I’d admit that I didn’t want to go to his house and deal with his earlier mood, and I wasn’t yet ready to address the concerns I had about him. I told him I needed time and I did. If I went to his house tonight, he’d get me to talk before I was ready. I was one that needed time to work things out.
One thing I noticed, there wasn’t any communication from Jake. Being an adult, I decided to text him and let him know that I wasn’t staying at his house tonight. I didn’t want to worry him. Obviously, emotions were already high, so making things worse wasn’t my goal.
Hope: Got called into work, st
aying at Luke and Aurora’s tonight. Just wanted to let you know.
There was no response by the time I got to Aurora’s house. Luke opened the door, let me in and stepped outside to talk to Gavin. He closed the door behind him, so apparently, they didn’t want me to hear what they were saying. I shrugged it off, and headed to bed.
“Sweetie, wake up. Jake’s here.” Aurora’s hand was on my arm, shaking me awake. The one thing that actually caught my attention and encouraged me to stir was the smell of coffee. I rolled to look at her, one eye open, the blaring light blinding me.
“What?” I groaned, rolling back and trying to pull the blanket over my head. I had no idea what time it was, but I was exhausted.
“Luke is trying to hold him back, but I don’t know how well that’s going. He’s pissed and demanding to see you.
“Jake’s here?” I asked, confirming what she’d said. I was so out of it. I pried my eyes open and got my first glance at the clock on the nightstand. It was seven-forty-five. I hadn’t even been asleep five hours yet. I started to sit up and reach for the coffee Aurora had brought, when Jake shoved through the door. I raised a brow at Aurora, the silent communication of frustration that only women understand.
No shock, he wasn’t giving me the opportunity to sleep, or to decide I was ready to talk to him; he was barging in and forcing the issue.
Jake stared at me, from the open bedroom door. Not moving, he looked disheveled. His face showed something I hadn’t seen before. It wasn’t rage, wasn’t necessarily anger, it looked more like despair.
Aurora squeezed my arm and quietly left the room, she had to move past Jake and when she tried to get by him, he came out of his trance and walked to the side of the bed. Aurora closed the door quietly and was gone. I peered down into my coffee cup as if it had all the answers I needed. It gave me no help.
“Hope,” Jake whispered, though it didn’t seem like he was actually talking to me.
I met his eyes and waited, certain that his tirade would come soon. Braced for his outburst, I paused, but it never came. Jake stood immovable next to the bed and looked at me. He didn’t speak, but seemed to take in everything.