“It’s no mystery why the first Scumble River novel was nominated for the prestigious Agatha Award. Denise Swanson knows small-town America, its secrets and its self-delusions, and she writes as if she might have been hiding behind a tree when some of the bodies were being buried. A delightful new series.”
—Margaret Maron
Murder of a Pink Elephant
“Get the hammock strung, the lemonade poured, and settle in for the must-read book of the summer… . With a sharp tongue and even sharper mind, Skye once again proves herself adept at outwitting not only the bad guys, but the well-meaning good guys… . The sixth book in the Scumble River series is another enjoyable adventure in everybody’s favorite small town.”
—Butler County Post (KY)
“Swanson’s tongue-in-cheek humor is priceless… . Series readers will be pleased … I know I was. The Scumble River series is a fun one. I can’t recommend it highly enough.”
—Mystery News (3½ feathers)
“One of my favorite series. It has all the nuances of life in a small town. I laugh out loud while I read faster and faster, trying to keep up… . I look forward to all my visits to Scumble River.”
—Crime Spree Magazine
“Continues Swanson’s tradition of building on already wonderful characters… . Current readers will appreciate the trip into Scumble River, while new readers will want to go back.”
—The Best Reviews
“Skye Denison is back and better than ever … the best book in this series so far. The writing is crisp and the plot never wanders… . What makes this book stand out is the perfectly-put-together mystery… . If you like a funny heroine, tight plotting and a homey setting. Murder of a Pink Elephant is for you.”
—I Love a Mystery
Murder of a Barbie and Ken
“Fans of small-town cozies are going to have a good time reading Murder of a Barbie and Ken… . A clever, well-thought-out mystery that is almost impossible to solve, but it is the heroine that makes the novel.”
—Midwest Book Review
“Swanson continues her lively, light, and quite insightful look at small-town life… . A solid plot [and] likable characters who never slide into caricature.”
—The Hartford Courant
“Another side-splitting visit to Scumble River … filled with some of the quirkiest and most eccentric characters we ever have met, with a sharp, witty protagonist.”
—Butler County Post (KY)
Murder of a Snake in the Grass
“Swanson’s Skye Denison, amateur sleuth, is an endearing and realistic character… . A fast-paced, enjoyable read.”
—The Herald News
“This book is delightful… . The characters are human and generous and worth following through the scries.”
—Mysterious Women
“A charming and enjoyable book… . A pleasant afternoon’s diversion and well worth the time.”
—The Drood Review of Mystery
“Bound to send new readers to the bookstore in search of Swanson’s earlier books. They can rest assured they won’t be disappointed.”
—Reviewing the Evidence
Murder of a Sweet Old Lady
“Superbly written with emotion and everything a good mystery needs … Shame on you if you miss anything by Denise Swanson.”
—The Bookshelf
“More fun than the Whirl-A-Gig at the County Fair and tastier than a corndog.”
—The Charlotte Austin Review
“Swanson is on her way to the top of the genre … A magnificent tale written by a wonderful author.”
—Midwest Book Review
Murder of a Sleeping Beauty
“A smooth, pleasant, and ultimately satisfying book.”
—Chicago Tribune
“Another cunning, light-hearted story from Swanson. The book keeps pace, reminding us all over again why we have come to know and love that sly, witty Skye—the paradigmatic sleuth.”
—The Sunday Journal (Kankakee, IL) “Another delightful and intriguing escapade … Do yourself a favor and buy it.”
—Mystery News
“Swanson gets better and better. There’s a reason her books are consistently nominated for awards.”
—BookBrowser
Murder of a Small-Town Honey
“A delightful mystery that bounces along with gently wry humor and jaunty twists and turns.”
—Earlene Fowler, Edgar Award-winning author
“A light-hearted, entertaining mystery.”
—Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel
“A charming, insightful debut mystery.”
—Carolyn Hart
“A likable new heroine reminiscent of some of our favorite childhood detectives—with a little bit of an edge … A fresh, delightful and enjoyable first mystery.”
—The Charlotte Austin Review
“Skye is smart, feisty, quick to action and altogether lovable.”
—I Love a Mystery
“A charming debut novel that rings with humor, buzzes with suspense, and engages with each page turned … An impressive first novel worthy of praise.”
—Daily Journal (Kankakee, IL)
Other Scumble River Mysteries
Murder of a Pink Elephant
Murder of a Barbie and Ken
Murder of a Snake in the Grass
Murder of a Sleeping Beauty
Murder of a Sweet Old Lady
Murder of a Small-Town Honey
Murder of a
Smart Cookie
A Scumble River Mystery
DENISE
SWANSON
A SIGNET BOOK
SIGNET
Published by New American Library, a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA
Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.) Penguin Books Ltd., 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England Penguin Ireland, 25 St. Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd.) Penguin Group (Australia), 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty. Ltd.) Penguin Books India Pvt. Ltd., 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi - 110 017, India
Penguin Group (NZ), cnr Airborne and Rosedale Roads, Albany, Auckland 1310, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd.) Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd., 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa Penguin Books Ltd., Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England
First published by Signet, an imprint of New American Library, a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
First Printing, July 2005
10 9 8 7 6 5
Copyright © Denise Swanson Stybr, 2005
All rights reserved
ISBN: 978-1-101-63987-0
REGISTERED TRADEMARK—MARCA REGISTRADA Printed in the United States of America Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
PUBLISHER’S NOTE
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party Web sites or their content.
The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.
To my dear friends
Joyce and John Favero
Monika and Joe Bradley
Nancy and Robert Chidel
Andrea Pantaleone, Wes Dodd, Kay Lynn Shoemaker,
Laurie Bianchetta, Sandy Kral, Donna Sears,
Monica Granger, and Anne Hiller
Acknowledgments
Thanks to Dave Stybr for Dante’s Route 66 speech, and George Stybr for Monty Lapp’s great one-liner.
As always, I couldn’t have written this book without the continuing support of my husband, mother, relatives, and friends.
Special hugs to my fellow Deadly Divas, the Windy City Chapter of RWA, and the TeaBuds.
Also, to Mark Dosier, welcome to the family.
Author’s Note
In July of 2000, when the first book, Murder of a Small-Town Honey, was published in my Scumble River series, it was written in “real time.” It was the year 2000 in Skye’s life as well as mine, but after several books in a series, time becomes a problem. It takes me from seven months to a year to write a book, and then it is usually another year from the time I turn that book into my editor until the reader sees it on a bookstore shelf. This can make the timeline confusing. Different authors handle this matter in different ways. After a great deal of deliberation, I decided that Skye and her friends and family will age more slowly than those of us who don’t live in Scumble River. Although I made this decision while writing the fourth book in the series, Murder of a Snake in the Grass, I didn’t realize until now that I needed to share this information with my readers. So to catch everyone up, the following is when the books take place.
Murder of a Small-Town Honey—August 2000
Murder of a Sweet Old Lady—March 2001
Murder of a Sleeping Beauty—April 2002
Murder of a Snake in the Grass—August 2002
Murder of a Barbie and Ken—November 2002
Murder of a Pink Elephant—February 2003
Murder of a Smart Cookie—June 2003
The Scumble River short story and novella take place: “Not a Monster of a Chance” June 2001
“Dead Blondes Tell No Tales” March 2003
Table of Contents
Chapter 1: To Tell the Truth
Chapter 2: Truth or Consequences
Chapter 3: All in the Family
Chapter 4: Beat the Clock
Chapter 5: Wild Kingdom
Chapter 6: Let’s Make a Deal
Chapter 7: Mission: Impossible
Chapter 8: Survivor: Scumble River
Chapter 9: Car 54, Where Are You?
Chapter 10: Name That Tune
Chapter 11: Meet the Press
Chapter 12: Jeopardy
Chapter 13: Animal Planet
Chapter 14: Search for Tomorrow
Chapter 15: The Girl from U.N.C.L.E.
Chapter 16: I’ve Got a Secret
Chapter 17: Cheers
Chapter 18: Love Boat
Chapter 19: Twilight Zone
Chapter 20: Strike it Rich
Chapter 21: Price Is Right
Chapter 22: You Bet Your Life
Chapter 23: Saturday Night Live
Chapter 24: Murder, She Wrote
Epilogue: Unsolved Mysteries
Although there is a vase named Curtain of the Night,
Curtain of the Dawn exists only in my imagination.
Scumble River is not a real town. The characters
and events portrayed in these pages are entirely fictional,
and any resemblance to living persons is pure coincidence.
CHAPTER 1
To Tell the Truth
Cookie Caldwell died the third Sunday in August, and the Scumble River First Annual Route 66 Yard Sale almost died with her. She had lived in town only a few years, and no one seemed to really know her. This isolation would suggest that no one would have a reason to murder her, but obviously that supposition would be incorrect.
Cookie’s death raised a lot of questions. Two of the most puzzling ones were what was she doing at the Denison/Leofanti booth in the middle of the night, and how did a piece of jewelry manage to kill her?
For the next week, until the crime was solved, these questions were asked over and over again on the TV news, while a picture of Cookie stuffed into Grandma Denison’s old Art Deco liquor cabinet, one hand thrust out as if she had tried to claw her way to freedom, flickered on the screen.
Heartland TV had been on location taping a program about the Route 66 Yard Sale and thus were able to get exclusive footage of the postdiscovery activities. While the other news stations managed to get a shot of Cookie’s body, Heartland’s film clip included a group of locals who were ignoring the dead woman and arguing amongst themselves. It was not an attractive depiction of the citizens of Scumble River, Illinois. It was an especially unflattering portrayal of its mayor, Dante Leofanti.
Leofanti’s niece, Skye Denison, didn’t look much better. Playing tug-of-war with her uncle over Cookie’s purse was not the image she aspired to project as the town’s school psychologist.
Even though her profession had nothing to do with her involvement in the mess being broadcasted via HTV into homes across the Midwest, the reporters tended to play up her occupation in their stories. That, and the fact that she had solved several of Scumble River’s previous murder cases.
If the journalists had dug a little deeper, they would have discovered that it wasn’t Skye’s full-time job but how she spent her summer vacation that had gotten her into the purse-wrestling predicament. However, the media tended to focus on the here and now, even though the real story had started nearly eight weeks before, after Skye had already lost two summer jobs and been forced to accept a third.
The first loss of employment occurred because of geese with loose bowels and poor toilet habits, and the second because she couldn’t keep her mouth shut. Too bad that the only job she could hang onto came with a dead body attached to it.
Skye stood next to her new boss, Cookie Caldwell, as the proprietor of Cookie’s Collectibles carefully examined a ceramic vase. When Cookie turned it over, Skye leaned down to see the words inscribed on the bottom: “Curtain of the Dawn.”
Alma Griggs, the elderly woman on the other side of the counter, twisted the cracked handles of her white patent leather handbag while she anxiously watched Cookie inspect every inch of the vase’s surface, then repeat the process with the interior. Finally the old lady offered, “Mr. Griggs bought that for me in Texas on our honeymoon in 1932.”
Skye did a quick calculation—even if Mrs. Griggs was married at eighteen that would make her eighty-nine years old. Skye snuck a peek at the woman. There was no sign of frailty. Mrs. Griggs was nearly the same height as Skye, about five-seven, and even at thirty pounds lighter, she was a solidly built woman. Her white hair was worn in a braided crown on top of her head, and her jewelry consisted of a necklace of red plastic raspberries with matching earrings and bracelet.
Cookie interrupted Skye’s inspection of Mrs. Griggs by placing the vase on the counter and saying, “I’ll give you five hundred dollars for it. It is in good shape for its age, but unfortunately there’s not a lot of call for this style around here.”
“Only five hundred?” The older woman’s shoulders slumped under the calico print of her cotton dress. “But Mr. Griggs always told me it was very valuable, and I need at least three thousand to pay the taxes on
my house this year.”
Skye impulsively reached out and patted her blue-veined hand. “Maybe he meant sentimental value.”
Cookie nodded approvingly at Skye and ran a fingertip caressingly around the vase’s metal rim. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Griggs, but the market isn’t very strong right now, and I’ll probably have to hold on to the vase for quite a while before I find a buyer.”
“I need to think about it.” Mrs. Griggs packed the vase back into its box. “I’ll let you know tomorrow.”
“I won’t be here tomorrow, but I’ll leave a check with my assistant.” Cookie walked the older lady to the door and watched it shut behind her before returning to where Skye stood. “If she doesn’t come back by closing tomorrow, I want you to call her and persuade her to sell that vase to me.”
“Me? Why? I’ve only worked here for two weeks,” Skye stammered. “You didn’t seem all that interested.”
“Oh, I’m interested, alright.” Cookie smiled thinly and smoothed her ash blond chignon. “I just don’t want her to know that I’m interested.”
Skye frowned. “You’ve offered Mrs. Griggs a fair price, haven’t you?”
Cookie shrugged. “‘Fair’ is such a relative word.” She toyed with the sapphire ring on her left hand. “Anyway, that’s not your concern.”
“But why do you want me to call? Wouldn’t it be better for you to talk to her? I’m not sure what to say.”
“You are a psychologist, aren’t you?” The store owner narrowed her cool blue eyes. “I’m sure you’ll think of something soothing to tell our Mrs. Griggs. I don’t care if you have to hypnotize her. Just get that vase.”
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