by Unknown
“Are you going to the Halloween party?” she asked.
“Yep, are you?”
“Yeah, but I still don’t know what to go as. I’m bringing Brandon and he’s just wearing a Jason mask.” She scoffed.
I laughed. “Who’s Brandon?”
“They guy from the bar a few weeks ago.” She blushed.
“Oh, neat. I’m glad you have someone to go with.”
“Me too. He’s super nice,”
“I can’t wait to meet him.” I smiled at her.
“So, what are you going as?” she asked.
“I’m going as a spider.”
“A spider?”
“Yeah.” I showed her the beginnings of my plans to make the costume. “I’m going to rig up four legs like fairy wings. They’ll slip over my wrist to stay in place. Then I’m just wearing skin tight black work out pants and a shirt. I’m going to paint a black widow symbol on the back.” I lifted up the shirt to show her.
“Way cool, Jenna. I wish I was creative like you.”
I just shrugged.
“I think I have cat ears somewhere around here.”
“Good idea.”
“Think it’s safe to go in my room?” she asked.
“I guess. I don’t know if she left or not. We put all the food away, then I came in here.”
“Gotcha.”
She disappeared out the door and rounded the corner into her room. There were no explosive words so either Stefanie was gone or didn’t care enough to complain to Lauren about Michelle.
I still felt bad about shoving Lauren and Stef together. Lauren was a ‘go with the flow’ kind of girl so I know she didn’t mind rooming with a complete stranger. But it didn’t make sense for me to still room with Stef after Michelle’s mom and doctor had basically entrusted me with taking care of Michelle. I needed to be close to her to watch out for any adverse symptoms or reactions to medications or anything out of the ordinary. I couldn’t leave that responsibility to Stef or Lauren. They didn’t know Michelle like I did.
“Found them.” Lauren popped back into my room pointing at the black cat ears on her head. “I have little black dress I could wear too.”
“Sounds perfect.”
“Is Michelle going?” she whispered.
“I think so.”
“What about Stef?” she whispered again.
“I don’t know,” I whispered back.
We both giggled.
“Okay, I have homework to finish up. Should we have a roommate meeting tonight?” I asked.
“I guess.”
“I’ll call Michelle and Stef to let them know. See ya later.”
Lauren skipped out of my room and shut the door behind her. Good. I wasn’t interested in anymore visitors today.
I moved the pieces of my costume and picked up my backpack and shifted through it to find my history book. Since I’d spaced out of the last class I needed to do some extra reading to catch up. My phone was ringing at the bottom of my bag when I removed my book so I grabbed it quickly. Before I knew it, my thumb slide to the right, unintentionally answering the call. Crap, I hadn’t even seen who it was.
“Hello,” I said in haste.
“Jenna?” It was Josh.
“Hey, Josh.” My voice wavered.
“Hey, how are you?” He barely contained his excitement that I’d finally responded.
“Good. Just busy with school and stuff.” I tried my best to sound nonchalant, but inside I was all butterflies and frogs or whatever else moved a lot.
“Yeah. Me too. I’m just taking one class though. The Millers have me working a lot right now with the harvest coming up.”
“That’s good.” I really had no idea what to say.
“Jenna?” he asked. Whatever he was about to ask or say, I knew I didn’t want to answer. “I’m sorry.”
I didn’t say anything. Most of his texts were ‘I’m sorry’ or some form of apology.
“I hope that one day you can forgive me. I was dumb. I know that now. I do. I was confused and I just reacted the wrong way.”
No shit. I didn’t say that though. I didn’t say anything. I looked around my room, keeping my eyes occupied so I wouldn’t cry over him. I’d done well so far, and I wasn’t about to break my resolve.
“Yeah, me too,” I said flatly.
“Jenna, please forgive me. I can’t stand this. I talked to Michelle,”
“You talked to Michelle?” I cut him off.
He was silent for a minute “Yeah,”
“What did you talk about?” I cut him off again.
“Um, you?” He seemed confused.
“That’s it?”
“Well, no. There’s something else,”
“I don’t want to hear it. You’ve apologized. I get it,” I spat out the last words. I did get it. I wasn’t going to accept his apology though. No way.
“Okay, well, I’ll let you go then. Bye,” he said after an uncomfortable silence.
I didn’t even say bye. I just waited until he hung up, which took forever because I’m sure he was waiting for me to say goodbye. But I didn’t.
I set the phone down softly on my desk, then slammed my history book down. Why was I letting this bother me? We were together for like, what, two months this summer? I slumped into my desk chair. I’d always loved Josh in some capacity. He’d been the one person I could always count on to be there for me. Even when he was with Michelle. And then I’d ruined it all when I’d all but seduced him on that ugly couch.
Then he ruined it when he decided he needed to be with Michelle over me. The girl he’d just professed his love to, the girl who’d given him her heart, her body, her everything. Stupid girl. I told myself I didn’t care what he and Michelle had talked about, except I did. I added it to the long list of things I needed to talk to her about tonight.
I flipped open my book and fluffed the pages around until I found the one I wanted. I started reading, but gave up and crashed my head into the pictures of men in red coats with muskets and swords. I’m only 19, I shouldn’t be worrying about stuff like this.
“Jenna!” Someone yelled from out in the living room. I picked my head up off the pages and plastered a fake smile on my face seconds before Michelle burst through the door to our room. “Jenna,” she said again.
“Yeah,” I said.
“I have nothing to wear to Andrew’s Halloween party. Nothing!” Her face with inches from mine. “What are you wearing?” She leaned back and searched the room, looking for my costume.
“A spider,” I said and pointed to the pile of black clothing on the bed.
“Are those my tights?” She asked as she inspected the pile.
“Yeah, it doesn’t look like much, but I’m stuffing the tights to make legs. Like fairy wings,” I added when she gave me a questioning look.
“Genius,” she whispered. “Make me something.” This wasn’t a question, she was demanding. Typical Michelle. It was part of the reason I loved her. She knew what she wanted. If only Josh could have been more like her.
“Like what?” I asked.
“A cat?”
“Lauren is being a cat.”
“Dang it.” She looked up at the ceiling, searching her head for an appropriate costume. “A mouse!”
“You want to be a mouse while Lauren is a cat?”
“Oh, good point. A dog then.”
“I don’t know how to make a dog costume.”
“Ugh. I’ll just go to the costume shop then,” she said dramatically.
“Next time don’t procrastinate.”
“Yeah, yeah.” She waved her hand behind her as she left our room, grabbing her purse on the way out.
I spent the rest of the night attempting to catch up on homework. History was so boring so I pulled out my psychology books. I could read them all night long and I probably would.
CHAPTER SIX
A week had passed. The house meeting had done some good. Michelle had stopped picking on Stefan
ie as far as I could tell, but Stefanie as still on edge about something. Every time I asked how she was doing, she’d wave me off and say fine in a way that I didn’t believe. Something was bugging her. I hoped it wasn’t still Michelle, but all seemed quiet on that front.
Tonight was Andrew’s Halloween party and I was excited. I’d finished my costume and it hung on the back of my door. Lauren had found a short black dress to go with her cat ears and she looked amazing. I hoped this Brandon guy she’d found knew what he was getting into with her. I laughed at myself.
“What are you laughing at?” Michelle asked as she wandered into our room.
“Oh nothing. Lauren is bringing a date to Andrew’s party. Brandon.”
“We’re supposed to bring a date? I don’t even know what I’m wearing yet!”
“You haven’t found a costume?”
“No. Nothing looks good.”
“My history teacher made a joke about slutty nurses last week. It was disturbing.”
“Old men talking about slutty anything is disturbing.”
We both laughed.
“Hello?” I said when my phone rang.
“Hey, you okay?” It was Andrew.
“Yes. Michelle and I were just laughing about something.”
“Cool. Hey, I need your help.”
“Anything for you,” I said.
“Can you come over and help me set up?”
“Set up? Like stock your fridge with beer?” I laughed.
Michelle gave me a funny look, but I ignored it.
“No.” He laughed too. “I bought decorations, come help me put them up. Please?” I’d bet a million dollars his bottom lip was stuck out in a pout right now.
“Fine! I’ll be right over.”
“Who was that?” Michelle asked. She’d pulled out her homework and was about to sit at the desk. She looked a little hopeful that I’d ask her to come with me.
“Andrew. He needs help setting up.”
“The party’s not for like two hours.”
“Yeah.”
“Can I come?”
“You have homework.”
“Yes Mom.”
“And you need to find a costume.”
“I’ll go do that.” She slammed her book shut.
I watched her go and packed up my costume and my backpack. I had some homework to do, so if we finished decorating his apartment early, I could probably finish up the reading for two of my psych classes.
The butterflies returned when I thought about being alone with Andrew. What if we are both trying to hang some orange garland over his couch and we lose our balance and he catches me and we end up kissing? What if we both reach into the fridge to straighten the beer and our hands brush and he pushes me aggressively up against the counter and claims my mouth as his, effectively erasing Josh from my memory forever?
I did this a lot. Thought of outrageous scenarios that would probably never happen, but it was still fun to think about. I grabbed my keys and my costume and snuck down the hallway to the front door. I peaked into Lauren and Stef’s room, Lauren was studying at her desk, and Stef appeared to be asleep on her bed.
Good. I left quietly and headed over to Andrew’s apartment.
***
I skipped down the steep steps to Andrew’s basement apartment and flung the door open wide.
“I’m here!” I called into the empty room.
He rented the space from some family friends so it had come fully furnished and was dirt cheap. I don’t even think he paid rent. He’d asked me to live with him over the summer, and I half wished I’d taken him up on the offer.
The room was dimly lit with downward facing floor lamps. A black leather wrap around couch was pushed back against one wall, with a red and white chevron pillows carelessly tossed on the cushions. A large square coffee table sat in the middle of the room, topped with magazines and an abandoned game of chess. I wondered who else he’d brought down here.
A computer desk was opposite the couch, and was littered with Starbucks to-go cups, several iPods, and a thin, silver Apple computer, now shut off and the screen blank. In the other half of the room, against the wall was a flat screen TV in front of a red leather love seat where he and I did most of our homework and general hanging out.
I’d spent most days here during the school year last year. It was a home when the dorms started to feel too prison-like.
“I’m in the bathroom, be right out,” he called from somewhere in the back.
I didn’t need to know that, but that’s just how our relationship was. Comfortable. Last year we’d fallen into this comfort zone where we just knew what each other needed. I’d come over and make him food, usually frozen lasagna or something and he’d let me watch cable TV while I did homework.
I stopped short and stood in the middle of the living room when I realized that making frozen dinners was exactly what I’d done with Josh all summer. Maybe that was my thing. I made crappy food for guys, slept with them, and then let the walk all over my heart. Granted, I hadn’t slept with Andrew yet, but it was definitely on my mind lately.
“What’s up?” Andrew asked as he walked into the room. He fiddled with his belt and I watched with great interest.
“Nothing,” I said and shook my head. Dang, I really needed to get out of my head about sleeping with Andrew. He probably wasn’t even thinking about it anyway.
“Okay, well, I have like three boxes of stuff. I bought every Halloween decoration the store had.” He laughed a pulled out a skull on a string.
“Nice.” Yep, he wasn’t thinking about sex with me. Just Halloween decorations. Sigh.
“Where should I put my stuff? I just have my costume and my backpack in case the party is boring.” I winked.
“Gee thanks,” he said and walked over to me and took my bags.
He lingered for a moment, his left shoulder barely touching my right. He took a deep breath then let it out before turning away and walking into his bedroom. What just happened? I let out the breath I had been holding. Maybe he was thinking about kissing me like I was?
“Let’s get started, okay? We only have a few hours,” he said without even looking at me.
“Yeah, sure,” I said quietly.
“What’s the matter?” he asked. He’d heard the disappointment in my tone.
Nothing,” I said a little too quickly, trying to recover. “I mean, your apartment isn’t that big, it’s not going to take two hours to decorate.”
I joined him at the boxes and started to dig through them. He nudged me with his elbow and threw me a little off balance.
“Hey,” I said. “Watch it.”
“You watch it.”
I looked up at him to find him staring at me intently.
“Um.” I managed before he snaked his arms around me and pulled me close to him. His hands pressed firmly against my back, our hips met as he pushed me against the counter. I knocked a box off the counter and it landed with a thud and a jingle as its contents spilled out.
“Jenna, all I can think about is kissing you. I know last year we were platonic, and you had that summer fling in Riverview, but I want more. I didn’t call you here to decorate for two hours. We don’t have to have sex, I mean, I want to, but God, I just want to feel your lips against mine.”
He stopped himself, but I knew he wanted to say more. I wanted to say something, but all I could think about was how much did he know about Josh? Did he know who Josh was? I didn’t like thinking about Andrew thinking about Josh. The two of them weren’t meant to be in the same thought bubbles.
“Um,” I said again. His maple brown eyes flicked back and forth between mine, searching them. “You can kiss me,” I said finally.
This seemed to be out of nowhere, but I was glad he was acting on his feelings for me, where I was too afraid to do so myself.
He smiled, no grinned. And while I silently contemplated the difference between a smile and grin, Andrew touched his thin lips to mine in the softest, m
ost tender kiss I had ever received. They were barely touching mine, but the sparks shot down my neck, straight to my heart and pumped wildly through the rest of my body.
I leaned in, I wanted more. I parted my lips and pressed into him at the same time he pressed into me. Our lips meeting over and over again in perfect rhythm. His tongue flicked over the roof of my mouth, sliding slowly forward before catching my upper lip between his and he sucked gently. Then he took my mouth again, this time urging his tongue against mine so they met and twisted together. His hands roamed my body, over my arms and up my neck until he cupped my face in one of them, the other still at the small of my back holding me to him.
I sighed, unable to contain myself, his touch was turning me on, and I just couldn’t keep it in. I slipped my hands up and wrapped my arms around his neck and laced my fingers in his wild hair.
“What,” he whispered into my kiss.
I breathed out and smiled. This whole thing was throwing me off a little. Being here in Andrew’s apartment, Andrew’s hands laced in my hair, Andrew kissing me. His face remained close to mine as he waited with bated breath for my response to the reason why I’d stopped kissing him. My hands traveled down his strong arms and settled on his chest. I looked down at them and rested my forehead against his lips and he kissed me there.
I took a deep breath in and closed my eyes. The familiar scent of vanilla and cinnamon with a hint of lavender and peppermint filled my senses. There was a calming sense about it that made me smile into Andrew’s chest. I opened my eyes and looked past him into his basement apartment.
“What?” Andrew asked again.
I didn’t dare tell him I was picturing us naked on the red leather couch. Me on top, he with his arms hooked over the back of my shoulders, our mouths interlocked in a passionate kiss.
“I just like the way you touch me,” I whispered and pulled his arms tighter around me.
“Well, I like touching you,” he said.
He skimmed his hands up and down my arms, then wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling my hips to meet his. He took my mouth in his again, his lips covered mine, his tongue swiped lazily against mine, he was teasing me. His tongue flicked swiftly under mine and sent a shiver down my spine. I may have moaned. Andrew responded by squeezing my sides and pulling me closer if that was possible.