“Oh, no.” She clamped a hand over her mouth. “With everything going on, I forgot all about it.” She dropped her hand. “We’ll have to stop by my house for my dress.”
He gaped at her. “You’re still planning on going?”
“Yes, of course. Why wouldn’t I?”
“The kidnapper is getting more desperate, and he’s escalating. You never know what he might try. You could be in extreme danger traveling to and from the event, or even at the event.”
“But I have to go. I can’t let down the children who will benefit from the funds raised tonight. Also, the founders of CAR are good friends of mine, and they’re counting on me. I won’t disappoint them.”
“I’d rather you didn’t go.”
She stepped closer and gazed into his eyes. “Please, Jake. You know how much helping at-risk parents means to me. Isn’t there a way I can attend and minimize the danger to myself and others?”
He stepped back, because when she looked at him with pleading eyes, he wanted to give her anything her heart desired, and giving in without proper thought would be a big mistake.
He thought about the venue where they would hold the fund-raiser. Could he keep her safe there? Maybe.
“From what I know of the venue, it could be manageable. But I’ll need to visit the place this afternoon and develop a security plan with the team before I’ll agree to let you go.”
“You do know I could just drive myself there.”
“Would you?” he asked, hating that the idea of how her going against his wishes made him feel sick inside.
“No.” She smiled softly. “I’ll just keep pestering you until you say yes.”
“Pester all you want, but I won’t agree unless it’s safe.”
She studied him intently, and he felt like her gaze laid bare all of his inner thoughts and fears of letting others down. Of failing to be there when others needed him.
“This goes back to losing your family, right?” she asked. “You’re overly cautious because of that, I mean.”
He could dodge her question and keep from admitting how his loss lingered and how he allowed it to run his life, but why? She’d figured it out anyway so he nodded.
She sighed. “I understand—at least, kind of. You’re trying to protect people from physical harm. For me, it’s emotional harm. After losing Eli, I have to protect my heart.” She laughed nervously. “That probably doesn’t make any sense to you.”
“It does,” he said.
She eyed him again.
He might have let her know how losing his family continued to direct his life, but he didn’t want her to know how much the chance of her getting hurt affected his emotional health. “We should get going so I have time to check out the venue and talk to the rest of my team.”
“Thank you.” She suddenly wound her arms around his neck and hugged him hard. “I’m so grateful for your help.”
Stunned, he settled his hands at her waist. He wasn’t sure how to react. Especially when her arms tightened and she pulled him even closer.
She smelled like the air after a fresh rain, and she was warm and soft in his arms. A warmth that he’d never known before raced through his veins and flooded his heart. He crushed her to him and held on as if she was a life preserver. She must have felt the change in him as she planted her palms against his chest and pushed back.
“Sorry,” she said and looked away. “I was out of line.”
“No problem,” he replied, though she hadn’t been out of line. It was him—all him—letting the awareness of how wonderful it would be to have a woman like her in his life sway his resolve.
ELEVEN
Rachael glanced around the large ballroom of the downtown Portland hotel. After the week she’d experienced, she didn’t feel much like attending the fund-raiser, but she never backed down from a commitment. She would simply make the best of things. She wished Pam could have accompanied them as originally planned, but Pam wanted to avoid having to answer endless questions about the kidnapping. Rachael didn’t blame her, so they’d left her in Jake’s condo with Cash and Brady in charge of protecting her and Kelly.
The room was decorated for Christmas in cool blues and silvers, everything sparkling in the bright spotlights. Rachael thought of the firehouse, the lights turned down low, the tree lit by multicolor lights and the fireplace glowing and warming up the room. This room didn’t hold a candle to Detective Hunter’s decorating efforts. Rachael found this space to be cold and uninviting, whereas the firehouse she could easily imagine calling home. Calling Jake’s friends her own.
How had she gotten so attached to the FRS, and even to Detective Hunter? She’d tried hard not to, but...
She sighed.
“Is everything okay?” Jake asked, standing next to her.
“Fine,” she said and shrugged out of her jacket.
He took her coat and his gaze roved over her. “Wow. You look amazing.”
He’d seen her dress when he’d picked it up at her house, but she’d dressed and put her coat on in his condo, so he hadn’t seen her wearing it until now.
His gaze lifted to her face and held. “Your dress is even more spectacular than it was on the hanger.”
She was powerless to look away.
No. Oh. No.
She’d been concerned about getting close to the FRS, but what about Jake? She’d let him into a place in her heart that had been vacant for a very long time. Worse yet, she liked the warm feelings instead of the emptiness. Liked it too much. But that didn’t mean she was ready to embrace it, or him, again.
“Thanks again for picking it up from my house,” she said quickly, then looked away so he wouldn’t see how much his simple compliment impacted her.
“I’ll go check the coats.” He took them to the counter, and while he arranged for a number, she searched the room for William and Gloria.
Rachael still couldn’t believe she’d bonded with the founders of CAR. Wealthy, philanthropic socialites, they lived in a world Rachael had never inhabited, but once they’d gotten to know each other, they’d discovered their hearts were in the same place. And both William and Gloria had lost spouses before they’d found each other. They understood Rachael’s grief and didn’t push her toward finding another mate the way others did.
“Should we go in?” Jake asked, coming up behind her.
She nodded. His black suit and crisp white shirt made him look undeniably handsome. The suit appeared custom-made, but he kept fidgeting with his tie and telling her that he didn’t wear suits often. As they stepped into the room, he remained close by her side. They had taken only a few steps when his stomach rumbled.
“Sorry.” He grinned. “Guess you can’t take me out in public.”
She turned to glance up at him, and her heart did a little flip-flop at his endearing smile.
“I could use something to eat before my speech, too.” She gestured at the buffet tables set up in front of a wall of windows overlooking the river. “Let’s grab a plate.”
He indicated she should precede him, but his gaze continued to rove over the room. He seemed worried about her safety and wasn’t going to let down his guard. Yet one more reason to like the guy.
She stepped up to the white-draped table with blue and silver glittery balls lying atop greenery that ran the table length. Miniature pine trees wrapped in gauzy white and blue ribbon sat in the middle and at each end of the table. White plates and sparkling silverware completed the decor.
Rachael took a plate and loaded it with appetizers, salad and roast beef. Jake skipped the salad and piled the beef high on his plate. The amount of food he’d taken compared to what Eli used to eat took her by surprise, but Jake was a good six inches taller and thirty pounds heavier than Eli, most of it muscle.
What was she do
ing comparing the two of them? It wasn’t like she planned for Jake to become a part of her life as Eli had been.
Plate in hand, Jake searched the room, this time looking like he sought an open table. She wanted to sit next to the window and look out over the river, but he gestured at a round table in the corner, far away from the windows. “That’s a perfect spot.”
She assumed he meant perfect for protecting her, because it wasn’t perfect for socializing or for the scenery. Still, before they’d left the firehouse, she’d promised to follow his directions, so she picked up a glass of punch and stepped toward the table.
“Rachael,” Ursula Ingram, CAR’s program manager, called out, bringing Rachael to a stop as the tall brunette joined her.
“How are Pam and Kelly doing?” Ursula asked.
“As well as can be expected,” Rachael replied.
“I called Pam and left a message, but when she didn’t return my call, I worried that she might have slipped and started using again.”
“No, she’s holding her own.”
“Good.” Ursula changed her focus to Jake.
Rachael introduced Ursula and told her about Jake’s role in stopping the kidnapping.
“You’re a hero, then.” She smiled up at him. “Perhaps we should introduce you after Rachael’s speech so CAR’s members can thank you properly.”
Jake cringed. “That’s not necessary.”
“But it would be nice.”
“Honestly, it might be for you all, but not for me.”
“A hero who is modest.” Ursula turned her attention to Rachael. “And I see that he’s not wearing a wedding ring.”
Heat rushed up Rachael’s neck. “Our food is getting cold. I’ll check in with you when it’s time for my speech.”
She stepped off, and Jake walked by her side.
“Sorry about the wedding ring thing,” she said. “Ursula’s always trying to fix me up and get me married off. Which is really weird, as she lost her husband twenty years ago and never remarried.”
They continued on, but several other supporters stopped her to ask about Pam and Kelly.
“Seems like everyone is concerned about them,” Jake said as they neared the table. “Is that concern common for all of the people CAR supports?”
“Yes, but even more so for Pam, as she represents the success we strive for in every person we help. The members have a vested interest in seeing her continue to succeed.”
“All of the members take a personal interest, then, even the leaders?”
“William and Gloria used to be the best example of that, but as the organization has grown, they’ve had to hand off their administrative duties to Ursula. They work in a fund-raising and PR capacity now, so they aren’t intimately involved in the participants’ lives.”
“They sound like great people.”
“They are,” Rachael said. “William has been so successful with the drug rehab portion of the program that he’s expanded it to include people in the inner circle of the parents we help.”
“Isn’t that a little out of your group’s mission statement?”
“Not really. Many of the women in the program got involved with drugs due to their relationships. If we can assist these other people, too, it keeps our clients away from drugs and helps them stay clean.”
At their table, Jake set down his food, then pulled out a chair for her before taking the seat next to her. She would have liked to look at him during dinner, though she knew it wasn’t a good idea, but he’d chosen for both of them to sit with their backs to the wall and facing the crowd. Safety, she supposed again, but it felt awkward. She turned her attention to her food and spread hummus on a thick pita chip. Jake dug into his beef, but he kept raising his head and watching the action in front of them. She wished he could simply sit back and enjoy the night instead of spending every moment worried about her safety.
“I hate that you have to work tonight.” She took a bite of the freshly made hummus, the adobo chilies used for seasoning giving the hummus a bite.
“No worries. I’m used to it.”
“Yes, you’re very good at working,” she said, but wished she hadn’t when he narrowed his gaze.
“Then we’re in the same boat, right?” He forked another bite of food and returned his gaze to the crowd.
She nodded, but the thought made her sadder than she’d been in a very long time. Here they were, clearly interested in each other, and yet they allowed their pasts to define them.
What would happen if they changed? Would they pursue this interest between them? Did it matter, as she didn’t see change coming her way anytime soon, if ever?
They finished their meals in silence, and when Rachael finally spotted William, she got up to speak with him.
“Not so fast.” Jake rested his hand on her arm.
“Sorry. I forgot I need to clear everything with you.”
Though her comment had been sincere, he frowned as he escorted her across the room.
In his midforties, William was tall and thin and smelled of peppermint. He wore a tailored black tuxedo, white pleated shirt and black tie. His hair was pale blond, his gaze warm and friendly.
“Rachael,” he said, opening his arms to give her a brief hug.
When he released her, she introduced Jake.
“Excuse us, please,” William said to the others and tugged her off to the side. “Is he here on official business?”
“Sort of.” Rachael explained the events of the last few days.
William took a step closer. “Gloria and I heard about the awful ordeal at your center, but I had no idea it continued to be a problem.”
He shook his head, and his eyes creased. The threat to Kelly and her center had obviously impacted him.
“I wish there was something Gloria and I could do to help.”
“Where is Gloria?” Rachael asked.
“At home sick, I’m afraid.”
“She must really not feel well if she’s missing a CAR event.”
William nodded. “She does cherish her role in CAR.”
“Role.” Rachael laughed. “You’re the founders. Don’t be so modest.”
He waved off her comment.
Rachael wouldn’t embarrass him by belaboring the point. “I’ll give Gloria a call tomorrow to check in on her.”
“That’s most kind of you,” William said, but his attention had drifted to a nearby power couple. “I need to talk to the Grangers. They’ve got more money than they know what to do with, and I’ve been trying to get them to participate in another fund-raiser.” He squeezed Rachael’s arm. “If they agree to a donation tonight, you can expect a call from my assistant Thad in the next few days.”
“Thad? What happened to Charles?” she asked, thinking about the young man she’d met just a few weeks ago when she’d visited William at CAR’s offices.
A smile radiated from his face. “Charles graduated from our program and got a new job. I’m grooming Thad for the same thing.”
Rachael squeezed his hand. “Congratulations on another successful rehab.”
“Charles is the one who needs congratulating. Not me. He’s done all the hard work to get sober. Now if only Thad takes the same route.” He looked at the Grangers again. “I really have to talk to them before they leave. Excuse me.”
After William departed, Rachael tried to cross the room to the dais but was stopped by Olin and Lucy Kempner, a stylish couple in their midthirties. She introduced Jake.
“How is Pam holding up?” Lucy asked, just as so many others had that evening.
Rachael explained the situation.
“I wish I could talk to her to make sure she really is staying sober, but she’s not answering her phone.” Lucy clenched her hands, and Olin worked the m
uscles in his jaw. They were both likely thinking about Olin’s past drug problem and the possibility that he could relapse someday, too.
“Pam is good, trust me. She just needs a bit of privacy right now,” Rachael said, then moved them on to a discussion of an upcoming food drive they were both working on.
As usual, Lucy and Olin’s enthusiasm for the cause rang through their voices and Rachael got caught up in the discussion, forgetting Jake was standing there until he tapped her arm.
He pointed across the room at the dais. “Ursula is waving you down.”
“Sorry, we’ll have to catch up later,” Rachael told the couple and excused herself.
“The Kempners sound like they’re quite involved in the program,” Jake said as they started across the room.
Rachael thought about their struggles in recent years, and she couldn’t help but frown.
“Did I say something wrong?” Jake asked.
“No, it’s just that they’ve been through so much, and it’s looking like Lucy might make things worse for them again.”
“Okay, now you’ve made me curious, and you have to explain.”
“They’d tried for years to have a child and spent all of their money on in vitro fertilization. The stress of trying to have a baby overwhelmed Olin, and he turned to drugs to escape. He lost his job, and they had to file for bankruptcy. They’re just now trying to get back on their feet, but I know Lucy hasn’t given up on having a child, and I worry that they’ll head back down that same path of destruction.”
Jake’s eyes widened, and she could almost see suspicions running through his head.
“Now, wait,” she said. “Just because they aren’t able to have children and don’t have the money for additional in vitro doesn’t mean they tried to take Kelly.”
“He’s the right size for the kidnapper.”
“But wouldn’t seeing him tonight bring back my memory?”
“Not if it’s gone permanently, which I’m beginning to think is the case after these last few days of you trying so hard to remember.”
“I suppose,” she said, sounding disappointed.
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