Copyright Downfall © 2019 by Jay Crownover
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, without prior written permission.
A letter of copyright has been applied for through the Library of Congress.
All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information, address Jay Crownover LLC, 1670 E. Cheyenne Mnt. Blvd. Box# 152, Colorado Springs, Colorado 80906.
Publisher’s Note: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination. Locales and public names are sometimes used for atmospheric purposes. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or to businesses, companies, events, institutions, or locales is completely coincidental.
Cover design by: Hang Le
Photographed by and Copyright owned by: Wander Aguiar Photography
Editing and Formatting by: Elaine York, Allusion Publishing
Proofreading & Copy Editing by: Bethany Salminen
Other Books by Jay Crownover
Forward
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Epilogue
Acknowledgements
Recovered
GETAWAY SERIES
Escape
Shelter
Retreat
Runaround
THE SAINTS OF DENVER SERIES
Salvaged
Riveted
Charged
Built
Leveled (novella)
THE BREAKING POINT SERIES
Dignity
Avenged (crossover novella)
Honor
Respect
THE WELCOME TO THE POINT SERIES
Better When He’s Brave
Better When He’s Bold
Better When He’s Bad
THE MARKED MEN SERIES
Asa
Rowdy
Nash
Rome
Jet
Rule
CO-WRITTEN WITH REBECCA YARROS
Girl in Luv
Boy in Luv
Hi, Friends!
I really hope you take a second to read this if you are new to my books and if you are new to me as an author.
Downfall is a book I wrote exclusively for my monthly newsletter throughout 2018 and early 2019. Subscribers were able to read along with me as I wrote my rough draft. It’s something fun I started doing a few years ago and plan to keep doing in the future.
This version is expanded, edited, polished, and pretty, so don’t worry.
BUT!!!! Yes, big but: if you are new and unfamiliar you may wonder why there isn’t a name for the city in which the story is set, or why a handful of pivotal characters don’t have names or fully explained backstories and physical attributes.
All that vagueness is on purpose. I am not lazy. I am not forgetful. I wasn’t cutting corners. I want this book to stand on its own, no question, in case it is your first book by me. I don’t want new readers trying to figure out who characters are and how they fit into this story vs. who they are and where they fall in their origin series.
This book is an island in an ocean of a bigger series; however, you don’t need to worry about what you may have missed to read this one… I PROMISE. This one is its own thing. It has its own vibe, feel, pacing, and history.
If you read and do find yourself wondering about The Boss, Boy Genius, The Devil, and his wife, and anyone else who fills out the cast in the city, please check out my internationally bestselling Welcome to the Point series here:
https://www.jaycrownover.com/welcometothepoint
Love & Ink
Happy reading,
Jay
Orley
Being out on the streets when the sun went down was not a good idea in any part of this no-good city.
Not that being on the streets during the day was any better, or safer, but something about the daylight seemed to keep the worst of the predators at bay. When it got dark, all bets were off and the shadows took on a life of their own. Anyone foolish enough to be caught out in the dark, distracted and unaware, was considered prey.
I knew all of this, had learned that lesson the hard way the first few days of living in this god-awful neighborhood. But tonight, everything that could go wrong had, which meant I was walking with my head down, clutching the tiny, sleep-limp body of my daughter in my arms, trying not to draw attention to either of us. It was a nearly impossible task. One look at the fear stamped all over my face, the anxiety which kept my posture tight and stiff, or a glance down at Noble’s designer sneakers, and it was obvious to anyone looking that neither of us belonged here. Unfortunately, not fitting in made us even more of a target. We stood out like a beacon in the darkness instead of blending into the shadows that seemed to come alive at night.
Noble muttered something groggily into the side of my neck where her head lolled. My almost-four-year-old daughter was a champ. She took the move to this hellhole far better than I did. She was excited by the noise, the traffic, the endless amount of colorful characters littering the sidewalks during the day. I was the one crying into my pillow at night, not her. She could sleep through anything, including me hauling her like she was a sack of potatoes while I sprinted the six blocks from my broken-down car to our tiny apartment. I put a hand on the back of her head, letting her dark curls slide comfortingly through my fingers and prayed the rest of the journey home would be uneventful.
She had no idea I was frantically scanning every alleyway I passed. She had no clue my car was dead as a doornail, abandoned on the side of the road, useless and billowing smoke. It was going to have to stay there. I didn’t have the means to get it towed or fixed. Being carless wouldn’t be a big deal if my job wasn’t all the way across town in the more affluent district of the city. I had to have my car to get to work, but I could get Noble to her babysitter by foot in a pinch. It was a slightly scary six-block walk in the daytime; at night it was downright terrifying.
Not that I’d need to worry about getting either of us anywhere tomorrow. Right after the car malfunctioned, Mrs. Sanchez, the lovely older Hispanic woman who watched Noble for me during the week, informed me that she would no longer be able to watch her. It seemed her husband was tired of coming home from work and finding an extra mouth to feed. What she didn’t say was that her husband hadn’t ever approved of her babysitting Noble in the first place. Apparently, he never liked her “privilege” and the fact she wasn’t a child from the inner city. He didn’t like her bright attitude and endless questions. My daughter was very different from the quiet, solemn children from the Sanchez’s neighborhood, and that never sat well with the man. But, instead of crumbling into a hysterical ball of emotion at Mrs. Sanchez’s door, I thanked her for everything she’d done for Noble up to that point and told her we’d be in touch.
I could see her sympathy for my predicament, but her unwillingness to defy her husban
d did me no good, especially when she patted my arm and told me, “I’m so sorry, Orley. You know how much I love having Noble here.”
The only reason I stopped myself from wilting into a mess of tears and desperation was that I’d already had one breakdown today: my boss at the salon had pulled me aside right before closing and informed me that she had a cousin who needed a job, so she was cutting my hours to accommodate the teenager. Working less than part-time with minimum wage barely kept my kid fed and the lights on in our apartment. Losing a single cent of that moved us into dire straits, but I refused to let my snotty boss see how terrified her words made me. I knew I could get another job, or two, if need be. At least I could have before my car crapped out on the way to pick up Noble tonight.
For the last year, it had been one thing after another. Blow after blow. I couldn’t believe I was still standing. And if it weren’t for the precious bundle clutched in my arms, there was a solid chance I wouldn’t be. There was no way I could stay down when my daughter needed me to get back up after every new hit. I was going to take the damn beating that life seemed determined to foist on me, but I was never, ever going to let Noble see the bruises. It didn’t matter what lengths I had to go to, what lies I had to tell, or what part of this dreadful city I had to hide away in.
“Mommy?” Noble’s tired voice jolted me out of my thoughts and I realized I’d made it two more blocks on autopilot. That wasn’t good. I was supposed to be keeping watch for any number of threats that could jump out at us from any number of places. Reflexively, my fingers tightened on the cylinder of pepper spray that dangled from my keys.
“Go back to sleep, sweetie. We’re almost home.” I cringed as I said it. The rundown, dingy apartment was never going to feel like home, no matter how well adjusted my kid was.
“I’m hungry. I want cake.” She leaned back in my hold, her bright blue eyes that were identical to mine gleamed with mischief. She was such a happy little girl. It was like she was completely immune to the filth that surrounded her every time she stepped outside her very pink bedroom. The sheer innocence of children was nothing short of amazing.
I huffed out a laugh and wrinkled my nose at her. “Are you sure Mrs. Sanchez didn’t already give you dessert?” I wondered why Mr. Sanchez had such an issue with the fact that my daughter looked distinctly different than the rest of the kids his wife watched. She sounded different as well, which was something he’d pointed out more than once when I went to pick her up. There was no hiding the fact that Noble had started off life with privileges most of the kids in this neighborhood would never know. It didn’t seem to matter that she couldn’t tell the difference between herself and other kids her age, or that I no longer had the means to give her every little thing under the sun. She was exactly like the rest of the children in this derelict part of the city now. It broke my heart whenever I thought about it. I was supposed to protect her from the things that could harm her, and I’d only managed to do an okay job thus far. It was hard when I was on my own, but better that way.
Noble smiled, that crooked grin lighting up the night, making the places warm inside of me that felt frozen and brittle.
“She gave me a churr-oh.” She stumbled a little over the words and drew the ‘o’ out in a silly way. “But that’s not cake.”
I guess she had a point.
“I’ll see what I can do when we get home.” I already knew there was no cake. There was rarely anything sweet. I couldn’t afford to indulge, but I did steal her a cookie or cupcake whenever someone at the salon celebrated a birthday or special occasion. I tried to remember if I had anything stashed somewhere I could give her. Right now, her request seemed like the easiest problem to tackle out of all the ones that were piling up.
“Hey.” I jolted at the sound of a deep voice way too close. A screech that, at one point, I would have attributed to a cat, but now knew more than likely belonged to a rat, sent a shiver down my spine. I watched a man step out of the shadows shrouding a nearby alley directly in front of me.
I could see the stoop of our building and the bundle of dirty clothes that indicated that Lester, the homeless guy who called the stairs out front home, was already passed out for the night. We were a hundred yards away. So close yet so far.
I should’ve seen him lurking. I should have been more vigilant. I was just so damn tired and feeling so hopeless. No matter how hard I tried, my best never seemed to be enough.
I took a deep breath and put a protective hand on the back of Noble’s head. She complained about me pushing her face back down into the hollow of my neck, but she was a smart girl and easily picked up on the tension that stiffened me from head to toe.
I knew the rules. Keep walking. Don’t make eye contact. Don’t engage or act afraid.
The first few were easy enough to follow; it was that last rule which was a real bitch. I was afraid, and it bled out of me so strongly I was sure the man purposely blocking my way to the apartment could smell it.
I tried to take a step to the side so I could walk around him, but he followed my movement. I went so far as to step off the curb and into the street to evade him, but he followed. I clutched Noble tighter to my chest and forced myself to breathe.
“Move.” I wasn’t nice, or timid, when I said it. That was one thing I appreciated about this place, maybe the only thing. There was no reason to play nice with everyone, because chances were the other person was out to get you. It was the first time in my life I’d freely spoken my mind whenever and wherever I wanted. It was liberating, but it wasn’t getting me anywhere with the man in front of me.
He was several inches taller than me. He had a shaved head and nasty-looking eyes. They were small, narrow, bloodshot, and locked on me like he was envisioning every horrible thing he could possibly do to me. He was the cold, slithering snake, and I was the helpless, fuzzy mouse dropped unwillingly into his cage. Predator and prey. It wasn’t a nice feeling at all.
“Pretty little thing, ain’t ya?” His tongue darted out to lick his lower lip, and if I hadn’t been holding onto Noble, I would have pepper sprayed him then and there. “Not in Oz anymore, are you, babe?”
Nope. I wasn’t.
I was in hell and every day it felt like I was running across another devil to battle. It was exhausting, and I never wanted to put my daughter in such a dangerous situation.
“Move.” I said it again and gasped as he lifted a hand like he was going to touch my daughter’s shiny black ringlets. I took a step backward and glared at him. I could feel Noble starting to shake in my arms. “Get away from us.” I narrowed my eyes and returned his glare, aware I didn’t look half as intimidating as he did.
He laughed. It was an ugly, dark sound and I heard Noble sniffle against my throat. She wasn’t crying yet, but she was close. This man was not putting his hands on my daughter, no matter what.
“I’ve seen you coming and going. Scared of your own shadow. Turning your nose up at the people you pass on the street. You think you’re too good for this city? Too good for the rest of us?” His eyes skated over me and his mouth twisted into a sneer that sent shivers racing across my skin. “Stuck up bitch.”
He was so angry, but he didn’t even know me. It was confusing and terrifying.
When he took another step closer to us, I squeezed Noble so tight that she squeaked in complaint. He was lifting a gnarled hand again, so I turned, making his heavy palm land on my auburn ponytail instead of my daughter’s hair. It was a dumb move, one made on instinct alone, but I was kicking myself as I felt his finger latch onto my hair and yank. He pulled hard enough to bring tears to my eyes, and I stumbled back a step.
I felt his chest bump against my back and bit down on a cry.
“Mommy?” Noble’s voice quivered, and I could feel her body shaking against mine.
I tried to shush her, but my throat locked when a pair of rough, abrasive lips hit the side of my neck. He licked a wet trail up the side of my neck and I couldn’t bite back a gag.
/> “You taste expensive, pretty thing. Can’t wait to take a bite out of you, and I got a buddy who likes them young. The younger the better.” The implied threat was horrifying.
I kicked backward with my foot, aiming for a shin, a knee, anything. The heel of my sneaker glanced off something hard, which earned me another furious yank of my hair.
I opened my mouth to scream. Noble was crying, her tiny hands clutching my clothes and my skin. I wanted to believe that if I was able to make a noise, someone would step in and help. If not for me, then for my daughter. Even in this terrible place, surely strangers wanted to keep children safe. Only I knew that wasn’t true, and the more time that passed in this fucked-up situation, the more I realized that we were truly on our own.
I yelped as a hard hand slid over my ass and blinked back helpless tears.
I couldn’t let this happen. I had to keep Noble safe.
The panic was rising to an uncontrollable level. I was whimpering and desperately trying to pull free without losing my hold on Noble. My frantic mind considered putting her down and telling her to run, to find somewhere safe to hide while I was mauled by this aggressive stranger on the street. But she wasn’t even four yet, and I wasn’t convinced anywhere in this city was safe. I thought I knew what it was like to be trapped between a rock and a hard place before, but that wasn’t even close to the pressure squeezing my heart right now.
The groping hand was trying to find purchase between me and Noble, looking for a handful of skin. Any more of this and I really was going to throw up. I opened my mouth to scream, to call for help, even if it was useless, but suddenly I was released. I had to focus on not falling forward and crushing my kid between me and the broken sidewalk.
I whirled around, placing Noble on her feet so we could run if we had to. I pushed her protectively behind me, ready to flee or fight. Her small hands latched onto the hem of my shirt and tugged. She was as ready as I was to run for safety.
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