by Liv Brywood
“Come, lie down with me,” she said.
Stryde followed her even though he knew he shouldn’t. This was dangerous territory.
Brandy lay on her side on the bed. Her shirt dipped enough to give him a great view of her breasts. It couldn’t be intentional, but he silently wished it was. Not that he could act on it. He wasn’t the type of man who’d take advantage of a vulnerable woman, no matter how sexy she might be.
“I’m cold,” she whispered in a sultry voice.
He fisted his hands at his sides. This was madness. He already had to fight the flow of blood threatening to fill his cock. If he crawled into bed beside her, there was no way he’d be able to hide his arousal.
“I really should stand guard,” he said.
“I really think you should keep me warm.”
The challenge in her eyes made his decision. If she wanted him wrapped around her enticing body, fine. He was a man in total control of himself. He could resist her. Hell, he’d consider it a challenge.
Careful to position his hips as far away from her as possible, he crawled onto the bed and lay down between her and the wall.
It had been a long, long time since he’d been this close to a woman. The lilac scent of her hair was slowly driving him mad. He longed to caress her silky tresses, but settled for the intoxicating smell.
She pushed back against him until he was pinned against the wall. “Put your arms around me.”
He gulped. “I don’t think—”
“Cold.” She grabbed his hand and pulled it across her body. After tucking it under the curve of her breast, she sighed. “So much better.”
His breath rustled the strands of her hair. “You barely know me.”
“I know I can trust you. And I owe you my life.” She turned and faced him. Her green eyes searched his, looking for something he wasn’t sure he could give her.
“You don’t have to do this,” he murmured.
“I want to.” She lowered her lips to his and brushed a featherlight kiss across them.
Oh hell. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her body tightly against his. As he deepened the kiss, strings of desire tugged at his cock, coaxing it to life. He stretched and grew against the top of her thigh.
Her lips parted and her tongue pressed against his mouth. The first electric touch of her tongue rocked him to the core. He moaned. It had been so long since he’d been with a woman. Too long.
She dragged her mouth from his and kissed along the edge of his jaw. Her hands caressed the muscles on his back and arms. As she trailed her lips along his throat, everything he’d been missing came rushing back.
He rolled her onto her back and nudged her thighs apart with his knee. She gasped and her eyes flew open. Trepidation had replaced the dreamy expression on her face. Shit. He’d gone too far, too fast.
“It’s okay,” she murmured as she regained her composure.
This was wrong. He couldn’t take advantage of her. He pulled away. “You don’t owe me anything.”
“I just… I just needed to be close to you.” She buried her head against his chest.
He pulled her close and caressed her head. “I’ll get you to your uncle’s house, I promise.”
“Thank you. I feel so stupid about this.”
He tilted her chin up until she met his gaze. The sadness in her eyes tugged at his heart. She sounded so lost and alone. He knew that feeling well.
He’d spent the last few months in self-imposed isolation. But he could always go back to his wolf-family, to his den, if he wanted to. She didn’t sound like she had anyone else to turn to.
“You mentioned your father, but not your mother. Is she…”
Brandy’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t have a mother. Well, technically a woman gave birth to me, but she wasn’t ever a mother.”
“What happened?”
“She divorced my dad when I was thirteen. They fought all the time and I knew she was secretly planning on leaving. I assumed she’d take me with her, take me away from his drunken rages. But no, she was self-absorbed to the core. But that’s what my dad got for marrying a stripper.”
“A stripper?” He couldn’t help blurting it out.
Brandy laughed bitterly. “Yep. One step above a whore. She cheated on my dad. She used to take me to her boyfriend’s house and leave me in the living room to watch TV while she went into the guy’s bedroom. It made me sick, but I didn’t want to hurt my dad so I never said anything. Maybe I should have. Maybe he would have divorced her and been happier. Maybe he wouldn’t have kept drinking. Maybe he wouldn’t have killed Annabelle. Maybe—”
“Stop. You can’t blame yourself for your parents’ bad choices. You can’t carry guilt around for something that wasn’t your fault.”
“Have you ever done that? Felt guilty for something that intellectually you know wasn’t your fault, but emotionally you still feel guilty?”
No, he didn’t feel that way at all. He knew he was to blame for Leah’s death. “I’ve only felt guilt for problems I’ve caused. Everyone has something to regret.”
“What do you regret?” she asked as she snuggled into his arms.
Leaving Leah to die. Not stepping up to be a man when Ryker had asked for his help. He’d replayed all the mistakes that he’d made leading up to Leah’s death through his mind a thousand times. But he wasn’t ready to bare his soul to someone he hardly knew, even if she’d shared her own regrets.
He shook his head. “Nothing.”
“There has to be something.”
“I said nothing.” The force with which he spoke surprised him. He didn’t have to defend his actions to her, but he didn’t have to be a jerk about it either. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so harsh.”
“I get it. You don’t have to say anything.” Silence stretched between them for a few minutes before she said, “Tell me about being a werewolf.”
“What about it?”
“Were you born that way?”
“Yes, I was born out here in the woods. My father refused to believe that werewolves and humans couldn’t coexist. He thought that if he could get his son a good education, he could show the townspeople that werewolves aren’t any different from them. We still have hopes and dreams.”
“And regrets.”
He sighed. “And regrets. When I was old enough, my father sent me to school in Full Moon Bay. His plan seemed to be working until I reached high school. Changing in the locker room with the other boys became a nightmare. They’d laugh and point and make fun of me for being so hairy.”
She ran her fingers through the thatch of hair on his chest. “I think it makes you look sexy.”
He laughed and entwined her fingers with his. “Unfortunately, the other boys didn’t share that sentiment. It also didn’t help that I had an unusual name. During lunch, the other kids would throw full milk cartons at me. They’d trip me and laugh in my face. It was hell. I begged my father to let me leave, but he insisted that I stay.”
“And did you?”
“I did, until my fifteenth birthday.” He paused, remembering the humiliation and pain the other kids had inflicted on him. “On my way home from school, a group of kids from the football team jumped me in the parking lot. They hit me with sticks and rocks, but the worst part was the things they were saying. Freak. Loser. Fur beast.”
“Fur beast?”
“It sounds funny now, but at the time, it was one of the worst things they could call me.”
“Did you tell anyone? Your parents?”
“I told my dad. He said I needed to suck it up and learn how to be a man. So I went to school the next day and tried to fight back. They ended up beating me until I lost consciousness. I woke up in the hospital.”
She put her hand over her mouth. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”
He pulled her closer. “My father finally agreed that it was too dangerous to stay in school.”
“Are you mad at him for leaving you there so long?”
“At the time, I was furious. But I get it now. I know why he was so intent on trying to integrate the wolves into society. I forgave him a long time ago.”
“So after you got out of the hospital?”
“I never went back to school. We moved back into the forest, into the Silver Creek Pack’s den.”
“Den? So there are more werewolves out here?”
“Hundreds, just in these mountains.”
“It’s weird that no one has ever seen a werewolf here. I mean, I’ve heard rumors, but no one actually believes them.”
“A few months ago, a serial killer terrorized several women. Ryker finally caught the killer, but instead of being grateful, the sheriff told him that if he ever saw a werewolf in his town, he’d shoot on sight.”
Brandy tilted her head to one side. “That doesn’t sound like my uncle. He’s usually very tolerant of other races.”
“I’m not another race. I’m a werewolf. It’s very different from something as superficial as skin color.”
“You shapeshift and live in the forest. That’s definitely different. But don’t you have families?”
“Yes.” He turned away so she couldn’t read the pain in his eyes.
“Do your parents live in the den with you?”
“They’re gone.”
“I’m sorry.” She caressed his shoulder.
“It was a long time ago.”
“Can I ask what happened? If it’s too painful, you don’t have to tell me anything.”
“They died in a forest fire. I was sixteen. It happened a year after we moved back into the forest.” He still missed them. Over the years, the acute pain had dulled slightly. But he still cried on their birthdays. He visited their graves on certain holidays and on their anniversary.
“Tell me about the other werewolves. Is everyone born a wolf?”
“Some are born into the pack and some are made.”
He leaned against the wall. The cold stone felt so good against his still-aching back. The adrenaline from their narrow escape from the stalker had finally dissipated, leaving him sore from the tumble down the river.
“How?”
“How does someone become a werewolf?”
“Yes.”
“If someone is bitten or scratched, and the werewolf’s blood or saliva intermingles with theirs, the virus is passed on. Transmission is fairly easy, but some humans have immunity against the virus. No one really knows why. But several people have been bitten and not infected.”
“Have you ever turned anyone into a werewolf?”
He sucked in a breath. She’d just asked the question he’d been hoping to avoid. He considered lying about Leah, but he hated lying. He’d told a lie years ago that led to the string of events which ultimately caused Leah’s death. He’d made a vow not to lie ever again.
“Once,” he muttered.
She stilled. She must have sensed the change in his mood. “You don’t have to tell me, unless you want to. You’ve already shared so much.”
He didn’t know why, but he suddenly wanted to tell her about Leah. Brandy had shared so much with him about her alcoholic father that he felt comfortable enough to talk to her. He hadn’t spoken to anyone about Leah in so long, but now seemed like the right time.
“A few months after my parents’ deaths, I was bathing in the river. The one right below us. During the summer, it can get pretty hot, especially with all the fur.”
“Wolves can swim?”
He recalled his unexpected trip down the river the previous day and chuckled. “Most of the time.”
Her smile lit up her eyes. She was so beautiful. In another life, he’d love to meet someone like her, but in this life, he’d never love again. It was a self-imposed penance for his carelessness and he accepted his fate.
He pushed the sad thoughts away. He wanted to focus on the good times he’d had with Leah. “I was paddling around in the water. The sun’s reflection was shining so brightly that I didn’t see her at first. But when I did, she was like an angel.”
He paused as the vision of her ethereal spirit in the river flashed in his mind. He shuddered. As much as he liked to believe she was at peace, he wasn’t sure. If she was truly at rest, then why did he still see flashes of her in the forest? Why did she still haunt his dreams?
Brandy reached for his hand. “Are you okay?”
He interlaced his fingers with hers. “It’s just hard to think about her. After we met, we started spending every day together. I knew she was a human and that we couldn’t be together. But at the end of the summer, I couldn’t bear to lose her. She begged me to change her. I tried to tell her that she could never go back to being human, but she didn’t care. She said she’d die of a broken heart if we weren’t together… so I changed her.”
“I wonder what it would be like to have a love like that.”
He laughed bitterly. “Trust me, it’s not worth it in the long run. I thought we’d spend the rest of our lives together, but eventually she left me. I was going through a rough time in my life and I was an ass. When she left, I deserved it. I should have gotten my shit together. Now I’ll never have the chance.”
“I’m sure you can still work things out with her. There’s always more time.”
He bolted upright. “No. That’s a damn lie. You never know when that time you think you have will disappear in an instant.”
Brandy released his hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”
He climbed over her and stepped into the center of the room. “She died a few months ago. We hadn’t been together for a long time. I thought maybe we could reconcile, but we never had the chance.”
Brandy sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Her look of concern surprised him. He’d practically roared at her and she hadn’t even flinched. She almost seemed used to being yelled at. How many times had her father screamed at her? Enough to make it a normal form of communication for her?
He instantly regretted his outburst. “I’m sorry. I’m just—”
“The wounds are still fresh. I get it.”
He sighed. This was exactly why he couldn’t get close to someone. He wasn’t anywhere near being ready. He’d never put his heart on the line again. Losing Leah had destroyed his heart. Another loss would destroy his soul.
“Come, sit with me.” Brandy patted the bed.
The gentle look on her face made him feel even worse. He wanted to apologize more, but he also owed her an explanation for his rude behavior. “I know this doesn’t excuse my outburst, but I want to explain why I lost it for a second.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I want to.”
“Okay, but come sit next to me.”
He padded across the room and sat beside her. He struggled with how to begin the story and finally decided to stick to the highlights. She didn’t need to know every sordid detail of what had led up to Leah’s death.
“Six months ago, a serial killer attacked a woman in the woods. My best friend, Ryker, rescued her and tried to protect her. Leah and Diana, the woman being hunted, were hiding here.”
“In this cave?”
He nodded. “I thought they were safe. I thought they knew better than to leave the cave, but the killer attacked them. Leah died on the beach below. I found her hours later.”
Brandy pulled his upper body into her lap. He rested his cheek against her thigh and took a breath. It felt good to be held by another person. He’d spend months in seclusion away from the other wolves, and far outside the reaches of civilization. With nothing but nature to comfort him, he’d forgotten how a simple hug could make some of the pain go away, even if only for a few minutes.
Brandy said, “I’m so sorry that happened to you. I can’t imagine losing someone like that.”
He fought back the tide of tears threatening to overwhelm him. A total stranger understood him in a way his pack never could. The other wolves had complained that he spent too much time mourning. They had dem
anded that he forget about Leah and move on. What did they know about loss? They’d driven him away with their total lack of respect for his relationship with her.
From the time he was a pup, he’d been told that an alpha couldn’t appear weak. But he wasn’t weak; he was broken. And he couldn’t put himself back together again. No amount of cajoling would make things different and he refused to return to his pack until they treated him with respect.
He sighed. None of that mattered right now. He was taking Brandy to town in a few hours and wouldn’t ever see her again. At least someone had finally acknowledged his pain. He tightened his arms around her waist and relaxed for the first time in months.
Chapter 5
Brandy stood at the edge of the forest as the last rays of sunlight died on the rooftops of the town of Full Moon Bay. She turned to Stryde. “I’ll never forget what you did, saving me from that man. I hope… I hope you find peace. Even if your heart bears scars from your lost love, as long as your heart is beating, you can go on and find someone else to love.”
“Thank you.” His half-smile tore at her heart. As she stepped onto the road, Stryde grabbed her arm. “Wait.”
“What?” A tortured veil of sadness descended over his face. Her heart lurched.
“I wanted to… oh hell.” He pulled her tightly against him and kissed her. His lips pressed against hers until she parted them. As his tongue melted against hers, she moaned. By the time he broke the breathtaking kiss, she swayed to keep her balance. No man had ever kissed her so intensely. Figured that it would be a man leaving her. Just her luck.
Stryde whispered, “Goodbye.”
Before she could respond, he’d sprinted into the forest and vanished behind a wall of trees. She touched her fingers to her lips. As long as she lived, she’d never forget that kiss. It had sparked something inside her that had been slumbering for too long.
Once she got out of this mess, she’d search for someone like him. Even if it took her the rest of her life, it would be worth the wait.
She turned and strolled down Main Street. She hadn’t been to town in at couple of years but it was as if time stood still. Lamps flickered on to cast a yellowish light across the street. She’d often wondered why they weren’t white until her father had explained that they were better for navigating the fog.