by Rhian Ivory
I couldn’t see anything but the stars, as the bats above started their nightly battle with another murder of crows.
CHAPTER 5
NOAH
The bell rings for break. Everyone jumps to their feet and then sits back down again as Mr Hambleton, the D&T teacher, launches into a sarcastic speech about the meanings of bells. Then to make matters worse he starts singing, playing air guitar.
We are all silent until Theo starts a slow clap. Everyone copies, especially Harley who takes it one step further, standing up, holding his hands above his head as if he’s at a gig. Theo gives him an approving nod and stands up too. I clap but stay in my seat. Mr Hambleton doesn’t seem to mind and even takes a bow. He pretends to hold a guitar up and does some rock god power stance as we hurriedly put away our materials.
‘Metallica, music of the gods I tell you, lyrics of kings! YouTube it and learn a thing or two about ROCK!’ he shouts at us as we run away.
‘And no running in the workshop, how many times do I have to say the same thing? It’s like talking to a brick wall. Just another brick in the wall!’ He starts singing again as we escape into the corridor, leaving him to rock it out alone.
Beth meets me outside the D&T room next to our lockers. Theo and Harley high five each other and charge up the corridor chanting, ‘METALLICA! METALLICA! METALLICA!’
‘Ah, I see you’ve met the god of rock. You got off lucky, last term he bought his guitar in and made us listen to him play. You should have picked music; I’ve just had a double which was ace.’ Beth holds up sheet music which looks mad and makes no sense. She’s written all over it or drawn symbols and notes in pencil. Her hands are covered with notes and ink too.
‘Are you writing something?’ I ask impressed.
‘Not writing! Composing! I can’t wait till my piano lesson tomorrow.’ She clutches the paper to her chest as if it holds a secret.
‘So can I hear your masterpiece? What’s it like?’ I breathe out too loudly, instantly regretting my question.
‘Sure. Well, maybe, when I’m finished. I need to practise a bit more first. You’ll just have to wait and see.’ She opens her locker, tucking the sheet music into a folder and shuts the door firmly. I can wait, there’s no rush.
I open my locker and reach in to get my drink and crisps, but most of the contents fall out onto the floor as soon as I open the door. There’s hardly any room in the corridor to reach down and pick up my books and food. Beth kneels to help me gather up my stuff before it gets trampled in the break-time stampede. She passes me my text books.
And then I see it on the floor. I try to pick it up before she notices, but I’m just not quick enough.
‘What’s that … drawing? I thought you had D&T not Art.’ Her inky hand touches the paper, about to turn it over to see better.
I jump as if I’ve been burned and snap, ‘Don’t!’ at her in a low voice which doesn’t belong to me. I throw my hands over hers and my paper, covering up everything I can. My hands throb as she whips hers out from under mine, looking stung.
There’s noise all around us, shouting, laughing, some screaming and singing. I can hear music coming in and out as doors open and slam shut, a teacher shouts and someone nearly trips over the pair of us crouched on the floor in front of the lockers. I try to say sorry with my eyes, before looking down at my drawing.
I rock back on my heels with relief when I see what I’ve drawn. It isn’t anything bad.
I offer her a smile and breathe out, then tip forwards grabbing everything off the floor, including the drawing, and shoving it all back into my locker as best as I can with my cramping fingers.
My hands hurt, but it doesn’t matter now. It isn’t anything bad. I haven’t drawn anything bad.
It’s just a hut, like a small wooden shed with a slanted roof sloping down into a mass of ivy. The hut is bordered by daisies and tall grass. It has two windows with no curtains in and the glass is cracked. The door is ajar, but I haven’t drawn anything inside. It is empty, like someone has just left. It’s all fine.
I don’t know what to say to her. I can’t let this awkward moment linger, as we stand in front of my locker not sure what to do next. I pretend to check I’ve locked it properly but my fingers won’t work, I can’t hold the key steady. She’s staring at me. I can feel the heat of her gaze, but I can’t look at her yet. I don’t know what she’s seen or if it means anything, but the stare is long enough to make me shove the key deep into my trouser pockets where I keep my hands, out of sight.
‘Hey, Beth, are you coming then? We need to get to the benches before they all go. Or are you busy here with the new boy, Noah? Sam’s meeting Georgia there, but if we don’t hurry up he might take the chance to leg it. Again!’ The tall pretty blonde girl with heavily made-up blue eyes stands in front of Beth towering over her. She looks at me, smiles sweetly and then sticks out her arm to Beth. The other girl, presumably Georgia, is rolling up her already short skirt. She stops and scowls at Eva.
‘Eva, just shut up about Sam, OK!’ Georgia sticks out her tongue. Her lipstick is so dark it almost looks black, which doesn’t quite work with her freckles and bright red hair.
‘Personally I think you should go for Harley. He’s much more your type, Georgia, as in fit and actually interested in you. Sam’s so quiet and not really into redheads, at least that’s the excuse he gave last time he stood you up!’ Eva puts as much disgust into her voice as she can on the words ‘quiet’ and ‘Sam’.
I stand there, unsure what to say, while Beth makes her mind up. I want to say sorry, to keep her next to me, but now she won’t look at me. I can’t string a sentence together, there’s nothing in my head, other than the beat of the blood slowly bringing the feeling back into my hands. I watch her take each girl’s arm, then the three of them turn and walk off as one. United.
‘See you later, neighbour!’ Eva turns back and shouts at me and then there’s more laughing and shoving and Sam, whoever he is, gets a few mentions, some good and some bad.
Eva looks over her shoulder at me as they reach the doors. They step out into the sunshine and she gives me another little smile, but this time it isn’t a nice one.
CHAPTER 6
BLAZE
The door creaked open, sticking on the lintel. It had grown too big in the heat and didn’t fit as it had in the winter. Emilia snapped me out of my worries as she forced the door open with her wide hip.
‘I’ve brung you some more clothes, not that you’ve grown any, but a few more layers won’t hurt, lovey.’ Emilia took out a bundle of browns and blacks from her basket and set them down on the small table with a sigh of satisfaction.
‘Thank you,’ I said as I reached out to touch the material. It was coarse and thick but would be of use when the weather turned. She settled herself down on my stool leaving me to stand. Dog turned about a few times then crouched uneasily by the doorway, keeping his head up and his eyes open.
‘How have you been then?’ she asked, as if we were neighbours meeting at church on Sunday.
‘Fine.’
She sighed. ‘Not much of a talker, are you? It’s a good job I haven’t come for a chat. Can’t that hound sit outside while I’m here? I don’t want to get ill again. Who knows how many ticks he’s got on him. Filthy animal.’ She scowled at Dog, as if he and he alone were to blame for her ailment.
I clicked my tongue and Dog got to his feet slowly and skulked out of the hut, as if to make a point. I knew he was clean, I checked him myself, but I could understand Emilia’s reaction. She smiled warmly at me once we were on our own and I smiled back as she got to her feet to shut the door and keep Dog out.
‘Now I think I have something in here for you. Where is it?’ She rifled through her wicker basket, muttering to herself, and then set a parcel on the table next to the clothes. The small hut filled with the smell of meat and pastry.
‘Here it is. A nice pie, baked it myself just for you. Might put some meat on you, you’re all skin an
d bones, lovey. Help yourself then,’ she offered peeling off the muslin as the scent and spices filled my nostrils. My stomach grumbled loudly and she laughed out loud.
‘Go on then, eat up.’ She prodded me, laughing gently, and I couldn’t stop myself. Dog had crept back in, following his nose, and was watching my every move. Mouth watering, I reached out to pick up the pie she’d kindly made me and share it with Dog when she slapped my hand, hard.
‘Ah ah, not yet. Not just yet.’ She wagged her finger playfully at me. ‘Now then, why don’t you get that little box out and we’ll see what’s what, shall we? Have a little look to see what’s round the bend for me?’
Her voice was light and soft but I could hear what was lurking underneath. I could sense her eagerness as she sat forwards on the edge of the little stool eyeing up my box under the table. She couldn’t keep away. Sometimes I wished she would. I’d happily go without her pies and clothes if it meant I could keep from her the bends in her road. I didn’t want her to see what I had seen. No one should see such an end.
‘Come on now, don’t be shy, lovey. It’s just us friends after all, just a bit of give and take, and now it’s your turn. So give me what I want!’ she snapped at the end, all the lightness and softness gone from her voice.
Dog grumbled low and tense, getting to his feet as I reluctantly pulled the box out from under the table.
She smiled, realising I’d given in and began to cut up the pie, but I’d lost my appetite.
I couldn’t have eaten a thing.
CHAPTER 7
NOAH
‘Come on in,’ Beth invites me, pushing open her front door. We step into a long, narrow tiled hallway with steep-looking stairs at the end. She puts her keys down on a dark round table and walks off into another room. I follow. I wasn’t sure if she’d want me to come back to her house after the weird non-argument we’d had by the lockers yesterday, but we’d been paired up in Mr Bourne’s class for our History project on village life. This was fine with me, better than fine, in fact. It wasn’t like anything had happened, not really, but I needed to take more care. I didn’t want anyone getting hurt.
I shouldn’t even be here, dragging her into my troubles, but I didn’t speak up in History. I didn’t ask for a different partner, or suggest we did our homework in the library at school. Because I didn’t want to. I wanted to be normal, to say, ‘Yeah, sure, let’s go back to your house,’ as if it were nothing, as if I did this kind of thing all the time. I didn’t seem to be able to stop myself from saying yes to her.
‘Do you want to go outside and make a start? I’ve got Mum’s Polaroid and you can have my digital camera if you want. We could try and get a view of the river from the back gate? There’s a path down to the river. Or we could take some of the fish in the pond?’ she asks, putting the lid back on the now empty cake tin.
‘Sure. Can I ask you something first? Does your friend Eva live near me?’
She passes me a bottle of coke from the fridge, which I take gratefully.
‘Yep. She’s staked her claim, said she saw you first. Told us all about you the day you moved in, before you started school. I got a long text that described you from head to toe and back again in full technicolour detail.’ Beth steps out into a tangle of garden. I follow, taking care not to trip over the step. The garden is in lots of different parts. I can’t see it all or where it ends. It is wide, quiet and very overgrown in places. We stop in front of a rectangular long pond tucked underneath some shady ash trees.
‘Thought I’d seen her around the estate, near my house, a lot in fact,’ I reply, feeling uncomfortable.
‘Well, she lives right behind you, says she can see your bedroom window from hers. Eva says you go running every night. Don’t look like that, she’s not a stalker. She just said you looked fit, or words to that effect, but I don’t want to make you blush. Maybe you should draw your curtains before you get changed next time though.’ She smirks, clearly amused at how awkward this is making me. It wasn’t the thought of someone seeing me getting undressed that bothered me. I was more worried about the fact that she was watching me at all. She’d picked me out as someone to take notice of. I hadn’t ever thought about someone watching me, it was usually the other way round. Shit.
‘Anyway, don’t panic, don’t look like that! Theo asked her back out again last week, so you’re safe, well, for now anyway.’ Beth laughs at my face. I must look terrified. I try to rearrange it. People like Eva make me nervous.
‘Have you been friends for a long time then?’ I take a picture of Beth as I ask, hiding my face behind the camera.
‘No, well, sort of. I mean we used to be really good friends, the three of us, but it’s been a bit weird this last year. Eva’s really changed, since she started seeing Theo. She’s with him and Harley all the time now and some others in the year above. They go down to the church at night and hang out in the graveyard.’ Beth stops talking and shivers.
‘Why?’ I can’t think of anywhere less inviting.
‘Good question. Dunno, somewhere to go I guess. They do these dares…’ She stops and sighs.
‘Right, dares. Do you do them? I mean, go down to the graveyard at night?’ I feel concerned for her, but more than that I feel left out, as if she’s been having another life with Theo, Harley and Eva, in the dark, at night, doing dares.
‘No way! I’m … I’m not scared of the dark or anything embarrassing like that but … I’m scared of the dark!’ She bursts out laughing, then puts both her hands over her eyes.
I don’t laugh at her. I know what lurks in the dark. She’s right to be scared.
‘Don’t tell anyone, will you? I’ve never told anyone that before. I thought I’d grow out of it. No idea why I’m telling you now … awkward.’ She peeks through her hands, her eyes narrowing as if she’s deciding whether she can really trust me. I want her to know she can, so I nod several times to reassure her. I’d never laugh at someone else’s fears.
‘So what kind of fish are these anyway?’ I ask, wanting to change the subject, to put her at ease. I hold the camera up and look at the fish. I’m expecting goldfish or carp not these small pockets of colour, whip thin and fast moving.
‘Shubunkins. They’ve been here since the Manor House was first built, obviously not these actual fish but their ancestors. It’s a tradition or something; there’ll always be Shubunkins at the Manor House. Apparently it’s really bad luck not to have them, according to my dad. He believes in all that kind of stuff, knocking on wood, saying “bless you” after you sneeze and keeping up with old village traditions. That’s what comes of living in the same place all your life.’ She pauses to wave a square photo around, waiting for the sun to dry the image. We watch it develop, the fish forming in front of our eyes like the strokes of paint on canvas.
‘Georgia and I’ve got fed up with her, Eva, I mean. She’s desperate to match me up with Harley! I know, Harley! She keeps bugging me about going down to the graveyard so I can see what a laugh it is. I’ve said my parents won’t let me, but I haven’t even asked them. I don’t like Theo, I just don’t trust him, not when he’s with Harley and Jay. Sam’s alright though and Georgia, sometimes, but she just does what Eva says, whatever Eva dares her to.’
Beth gets up and starts towards a small green gate at the back of the garden. She keeps playing with her necklace as we walk along. A thin black band hangs around her neck with a stone threaded on it through a tiny hole. It looks pale and warm against the colour of her skin.
‘You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. No one can make you,’ I say, wishing it were true. I unlock the gate and hold it open for her and she nods half-heartedly as we make our way through the buttercup-filled field down to the river.
I know how easily things can get out of hand and how hard it is to turn from what’s in front of you. Fate. Destiny. The Future. Whatever you want to call it. Unless you run fast, keep running and don’t turn around to see who or what’s behind you, it’ll f
ind you.
It’ll find you, catch you and trip you up until you stumble and fall.
CHAPTER 8
BLAZE
A man came this morning. A man. He came before it was light, before anyone could see him. He must have walked blindly up the river path because he carried no lantern. He didn’t even knock, just opened the door and walked in. He shook me awake in his panic and Dog barked.
‘Help me,’ he instructed.
I rubbed my eyes and looked past him to see if he was alone. He was a big man filling up the room. He had a dark coat on but no hat. He looked as if he’d left quickly, as if he’d run here. I began to speak, to ask him what he wanted, when he grabbed me. He pulled me to my feet and shook me, accidentally stamping on my bare toes with his heavy boots.
‘Wake up. Get up, boy. I need you. My child is ill, my girl. Please, my wife said you’d help us. She said you’d know what to do.’ His voice began firm and hard but changed, breaking into silence. He held out a lump, bound in plain cloth and tied with string. I thought it was the child and shook my head quickly, stepping away from him and it. He pushed the bundle into my arms and I opened it, relieved to find bread and cheese, a bottle of beer and a pair of boots. They were brown leather men’s boots with thick laces. He looked down at my dirty feet and gestured to the big boots.
‘My wife told me you’d help us. Put them on and come with me? Please?’ He was crying, wiping his face on his sleeve.
I said, ‘Yes, I’ll come, I’ll help you.’ What else could I do?
He waited for me to gather herbs, vials and my small knife, which I shoved into my coat pocket. He watched in silence as I put on the boots. They didn’t fit; they were men’s boots, probably once his. But they were still boots and I had none. I pulled the laces as tight as they’d go. I reached for my hat, put it on and told him, ‘Go.’ He pushed open the door and ran to the fence. Dog and I followed him down the dark river path towards his child.