“I received the news from Aacharya Sandipani that Srikrishna is in the Angirasa aashrama at Prayaga. I promptly left for the holy place of Prayaga without a moment’s delay. In my hurry, I even forgot to take the crown of the Lord of Dwaraka with me.
“Once I had forsaken him due to the misunderstanding over the Syamantaka jewel. Now he has returned after forsaking me. At that time, I had tucked the peacock feather in his crown in the presence of all. Today I have placed the royal crown with that same peacock feather on his head in the presence of you all.
“He is younger to me. I always call him ‘Dhakalya’. But today, in spite of being older than him, I request him to let go of his status of being the younger one and forgive this Yadava prince with a big heart. I love him as my brother as intensely as Vasudevababa and both mothers look at him as their son, and Uddhava, Daruka, grandsire Bhishma, Vidura, Sudama, Sanjaya, Arjuna, Radha and Draupadi regard him as their best friend. He knows it very well.
“He is not only the Lord of Dwaraka but he is the Lord of many more things. That is why I am imploring him.
“What if we had been unable to find his whereabouts? If he wouldn’t have returned to Dwaraka? Then I would have also abandoned Dwaraka. I would have worn saffron clothes like him and wandered from aashrama to aashrama in the entire Bharatavarsha. Sometime or the other he would have met me during this journey. The credit for the fact that he met me and all of you goes to Aacharya Sandipani. I request him to come forward and explain the mystery behind all this to the assembly.”
Balabhadradada’s speech moved the entire Sudharma assembly.
As per the prince’s request Aacharya Sandipani arose from his wood-backed simple seat. He had never before spoken anything much in the Sudharma assembly, but he spoke today. His pure white beard reaching down to his white upper vesture quivered momentarily. Utter silence prevailed in the assembly hall. Aacharya said –
“Everybody is mistaken that my dear disciple Srikrishna went to the Angirasa aashrama in Prayaga without telling anybody. It is not so. I myself had advised him to go to Ghor Angirasa to master the knowledge of Brahmavidya which was essential for him. While leaving, he had genuinely requested me for a favour that until any important person comes asking for his whereabouts I should not voluntarily disclose it to anybody!
“I regarded his request as a command, and so I didn’t tell anything to anybody. I could see the frantic rush of the Yadava commanders through the informers. I could feel the heart-rending anguish of Maharaja Vasudeva and both the rajmatas. That is why I went to their chambers from time to time and tried to console them with certitude saying, ‘Be patient. Do not worry’.
“I was worst affected by this quandary while listening to my wife’s words. She frequently said, ‘Where could he have gone? Will we ever see him again?’ At times, I felt that I should use the right of being his guru and disclose the secret. But I would control myself determinedly. His request seemed very simple to me when I heard it. But it tested even the Guru’s mettle. This was a completely new experience for me.
“It was Srikrishna’s wife Rukminidevi who rescued me from this predicament. She came once to my residential cottage out of the blue along with Jambavatidevi. She did not ask me any question at all. Instead she made a clear, certain statement. I was highly impressed to hear it. The regard that I had for her doubled. She had unmistakably surmised about her husband what no one else could even think of. She said, ‘My Sri would never leave anywhere without visiting his Guru and taking his permission and blessings. Please do me a favour and tell me where has he gone’.
“Keeping my word given to Srikrishna, finally, I told his whereabouts to her. She conveyed it to the prince and due to the prince’s prompt actions this golden day has dawned in the life of Dwaraka.
“I myself used to feel great agony wondering whether indeed he would not come back. When that pain became unbearable, I would intensely feel the urge to get up and go to the Prayaga aashrama directly. But I couldn’t do it, because then I would see the faces of Maharaja Vasudeva and both the rajmatas in front of my eyes.”
Now all eyes in the Sudharma royal assembly turned to Rukminidevi. She was calmly sitting next to her husband. I thought for a moment how tough it must be to be the Lord’s wife! For us Rukminidevi was indeed a Devi who was a dutiful wife and brilliant! She directly went to Aacharya Sandipani at the moment of intense agony, to inquire about the Lord. What if she wouldn’t have done that?
The entire Sudharma assembly was now completely charged only by my Lord’s name and his presence. So much so that Chief Minister Vipruthu completely forgot to request the Lord as per the custom, to say something for the citizens of Dwaraka. He simply kept gazing at the Lord.
The Lord arose, without anyone requesting him, like a big bud of Brahmakamala blooming at the exact moment of the sunrise on the distant Manasa sarovar. He spoke very little this time, but it was indeed unforgettable. In his sweet, flute-like voice he said, “My dear brothers and sisters of Dwaraka!” The assembled members of the Sudharma assembly who were touched just by hearing the Lord address them showered a loud round of applause. For a long time, they kept clapping continuously. Every heart was overflowing like the rising tide of the western ocean, with ecstatic joy, due to two things.
One, joy was of the Lord’s return to Dwaraka. And the other because he had called each citizen of Dwaraka his ‘dear brother and sister’.
As the deluge of the applause subsided the Lord spoke only a few words. “I did not go secretly or stealthily to the holy place of Prayaga at the feet of venerable Guru Aacharya Ghor Angirasa. I did not go there in the gloom that the Pandavas left without meeting me. Sometimes deep melancholy engulfs the human mind. I went there to seek guidance from the Guru himself to find out in what does the root of melancholy lie, and how to eliminate it. In short I went there to revise the knowledge of Aatmavidya -Brahmavidya thoroughly.
“Who knows, maybe in future the entire Aaryavarta might need it! Whatever my intention and however grand it was, you all had to suffer for it. For that my brothers and sisters, I genuinely ask for your forgiveness.
“I promise that I will never ever leave my Dwaraka! And if at all such an occasion arises I will never ever come back! Therefore, at this moment all of you forgive me kind-heartedly and accept me as your own!” As the Lord bowed down, held his palms together and implored everyone earnestly, the entire Sudharma royal assembly was touched.
That evening I brought the Lord in the Garudadhwaja chariot to the shores of the western ocean near the Aindra gate to offer the evening oblations. Uddhava Maharaja also accompanied him. It was an exclusive and unique experience for me to see both of them standing in the ocean with their eyes closed and offering the oblations to the setting sun. A single thought kept revolving in my mind while staring at the sinking platter of the Sun. “No matter how hard I try I don’t understand who exactly the Lord is.”
Draupadi
I am Draupadi! The daughter of Panchala king Drupada. Everyone also used to call me Yajnasena; rightfully so. My brother Dhrishtadyumna and I were born out of the Putrakameshti Yajna performed by my father Drupada under the guidance of sage Yaaja and Upayaaja.
It was due to this Yajna that Sautramanimata was utterly neglected by all. Is the one who gives birth to you your only real mother? What about the one who nurtures and moulds your mind with Sanskaras? Is she not significant at all? If not, then in my opinion it should change. I became Draupadi as I was named after my father Drupada. But like the fire burning in the Yajna pit I became the dauntless, fiery and proud woman that I am because of my mother’s sanskaras. At the mere mention of her name, the Panchala royal city – Kampilyanagar and our grand royal palace stands vividly in front of my eyes. It also reminds me of our brother Shikhandi born before Dhrishtadyumna’s and my birth. Word was that he had become impotent due to some curse. That was the reason why my father Drupada had performed the Putrakameshti yajna. After our birth eight more sons were born to our parents. They
were named Sumitra, Priyadarshana, Chitraketu, Suketu, Dhwajaketu, Veerketu, Suratha and Shatrunjaya. Meaning, I was the only sister to ten brothers. All my brothers always showered me with love as I was their only sister.
Though I had ten brothers how come Yadava Srikrishna of Dwaraka came to be my only brother? It is a never-ending story. Almost everyone including his close relatives called this exceptional and supreme leader of Yadavas ‘Srikrishna’. Only a few of us called him ‘Krishna’ with loving affection. He also genuinely liked it. Those selected few people included my mother-in-law – Pandavas’ mother Kuntidevi, Bhishma – the grandsire of the Kurus, Vidura, Sanjaya and a few more.
How do you exactly measure someone’s worth? There are two ways to do that. Two questions need to be asked. First, what if that person was not born at all. And second, what if that person wouldn’t have met you in your life’s journey? Indeed, what if my Krishna was not born? What if he wouldn’t have come into my life at all? I can’t imagine what kind of twists and turns my life – the scorching life of a Yajnasena would have taken then?
Just as I was addressed as Draupadi and Yajnasena, I was also called Panchali, Krishnaa and Shyamaa, which was also appropriate. I was quite dark complexioned. That is why everyone called me Shyamaa. But Krishna addressed me as ‘Krishnaa’ for the first time. I came to love my name ‘Krishnaa’ which meant dark, as it matched with the name of blue complexioned Krishna who first became my brother and later Sakha. Yes, Krishna was my most favourite brother. More than that, he was my best friend. Whenever I go back in time trying to figure out the time my friendship with him began, my Swayamwar ceremony in Kampilyanagar flashes in front of my eyes.
In my Swayamwar Dhrishtadyumnadada and father Drupada had put a condition of piercing the fish-eye, which was quite difficult to fulfil. Many renowned archers and kings had failed to do it. As dada had severely lambasted the warriors assembled in the Swayamwar pandal, it was bubbling with tremendous tension. So many questions arose in my mind at that moment! What if nobody really succeeds in fulfilling the Swayamwar condition? Am I going to remain a maiden in the royal palace of Panchalas? In spite of having ten brothers what kind of pitiful life would it be for the unfortunate unmarried sister? Oh, why have father and dada imposed such a difficult condition?
At exactly that moment my Sakha stood up. Whispers arose in the Swayamwar pandal – ‘the Lord of Dwaraka – the master of Sudarshan, owner of the Sharanga bow, executor of
Kansa …’ oh, how many goose bumps arose on my body when I heard those words. So far, I had been looking at the ground with feminine modesty, holding the wedding garland in my hands. But now I raised my head to take a good look at the Lord of Dwaraka. He was indeed ‘Sudarshan’ – good-looking! Instantly, so many white royal swans of thoughts soared sky high from the lake of my mind. The first thought that came to my mind was – what if he indeed pushes aside the Shiva bow and pierces the fish-eye with his own Sharanga bow and fulfils the condition at this instant? How would my life in Dwaraka be, as his wife? I had heard a lot about his first wife Rukminidevi. Would she accept me? How would she treat me?
But whatever was supposed to happen, happened. Master archer Arjuna in the disguise of a Brahmin fulfilled the condition. I put the wedding garland around his neck amidst roaring applause, and glanced at ‘Sudarshan’ Srikrishna. There was no indication in his eyes whatsoever of the desire of winning my hand in marriage that was there a few moments before. His face shone with crystal clear brotherly love that was difficult to fathom. I tried my best to analyze it for quite some time, but was unsuccessful.
After the Swayamwar ceremony he came to meet me and Arjuna at the potter’s place along with some Yadavas like his elder brother Balarama, Uddhava, and Satyaki. An enigmatic smile that I had never seen before blossomed on his blue face and he casually said to me, “Krishney! This is my dear cousin – master archer Arjuna. Have a happy married life with him.” The moment I heard him call me ‘Krishney’ I realized that he was my Sakha – my best friend!
His beloved wife – my vahini – shared an invaluable secret with me in my very first meeting with her at the time of the Rajasuya Yajna in Indraprastha. Rukminivahini said to me, “Yajnasena, a woman’s life is a potential core with tremendous power of creation. She never looks back in her life once she discovers her inner strength. She keeps marching forward.” While thinking about her words I felt something very strongly. I had decided that I was going to share that with her as soon as we met next. ‘It is not enough for a woman to just discover her own core of potential, but she also needs to find the core of potential of the other people entering her life.’ In my case, it was about more than one husband who was entering my life. In case of Rukminivahini it was very difficult to discover the many cores of potential in her husband, my best friend Krishna. Indeed, extremely difficult!
Whenever I think about my five husbands, my best friend Krishna comes to my mind without fail. He had introduced all my five husbands to me completely, without holding anything back. Had he not done that, I could not have survived the quintuplet of these brothers even for a moment.
So, how were my five husbands? All five Pandavas – everybody’s favourites, what kind of disposition did they have?
Yudhishthira – Dharma – the eldest of the five brothers. What kind of a person was my eldest husband Yudhishthira? I am going to address all my husbands by their first names only. If I address the Yadava leader, the Lord of Dwaraka, Srikrishna as only Krishna, there is nothing wrong in my calling my husbands by their first names as they all considered him as much more than an elder brother. In fact, if it might sound odd if I do otherwise.
So, what kind of a person was my eldest husband Yudhishthira? He was the formally crowned king of the Pandava reign in Indraprastha. As his conduct always abided by Dharma he was also known as Dharma. This first husband of mine was also the speaker of truth. Compared to his truthfulness my best friend Krishna would be deemed an outright liar. But the catch was, that was not the case. During the toughest times of my life I experienced that one views truth according to one’s own perception.
After my Swayamwar, at the potter’s house in Kampilyanagar, without looking at me Rajmata Kuntidevi had said, ‘If you have received big alms share it amongst all of you.’ But when she saw me she felt extremely guilty, and repeatedly said, ‘How can the lady of a family be called alms and be shared by many? Oh, how foolishly I uttered my words! I take my words back.’
At that time this truth-speaking, Dharma follower son of Pandu did not take a stand as the eldest brother of the Pandavas and say that, ‘You are right, mother. A lady of a family should never be treated as alms. Only Arjuna had won her hand after successfully fulfilling the condition of the archery contest. The remaining brothers have no right over her.’ At that time, I kept looking at him expectantly. But – but I didn’t see any sign of maturity in his eyes. All I saw was absolute, bare lust! I could not forget that look in my eldest husband’s eyes for the rest of my life. That is why I could never forgive him.
In our very first meeting he did the biggest injustice to me due to his own desire for me.
At that time the way my best friend Krishna advised me, helped me survive. That was the first time I experienced the friendship of Krishna. What if he wouldn’t have met me then? As per my innate proud nature I would have strongly opposed the sharing of my life. But at that time Krishna gave me an extraordinarily friendly smile and said, “Shyamale, Krishney, you have such matchless beauty that your own pulchritude will bring the onslaught of lecherous men on you. Therefore, you are indeed in need of the combined protection of Bhima and Arjuna. It is best for you to regard my aunt Kunti’s words and comply.” That smile of his was befitting only him. It said so much more than his words.
This eldest brother of the Pandavas did not just stop at disrupting my life. But he literally disrobed me of the invaluable womanly honour that any Kshatriya should protect with his soul and life – that too in the crowded gambling hall of
the Kurus. He put me at stake after losing himself. For him the allurement of gambling was greater than his own wife. At that time too, my best friend Krishna came to my rescue. Since the gambling incident I unmistakably realized that wherever he may be my best friend Krishna always resided in my heart. My faith in him strengthened.
Each one of my five husbands would address me by different names in privacy. Pandava Maharaja Yudhishthira inadvertently called me ‘Sugandhe’. My entire body emanated a gentle fragrance like sandalwood paste or a fragrance dispersing from the pollen of blue lotus flowers. It was this fragrance that this formally crowned king loved very much. In that too I could detect the pride of a king. He never praised any other of my innate qualities openly. He always threw his weight around as the eldest of his brothers.
Yudhishthira had a turtle-like mind. Sometimes he would hide under the shell of being the eldest brother and at other times of his kingship. He was much less valiant than his younger brothers, and he overcame that deficiency with his fanciful philosophy.
It was because I became the Maharani of Indraprastha that I strongly noticed such prominent flaws of the eldest Pandava. Yet due to his reserved nature some of his qualities were unseen. Those qualities suited only him. The first ideal quality among these was that he never did anything without seeking advice from his venerable mother. Rajmata wouldn’t have accepted anybody else as the eldest Pandava. Just as he tried to practise his authority as the eldest brother on his younger brothers he also politely respected the authority of his elders. I have no doubt that if rajmata would have been there at the time of the gambling, this eldest husband of mine would have simply tossed away the gambling dice for his mother’s word. As the Maharani of Indraprastha he always treated me with due respect in front of the citizens. While building the Indraprastha kingdom in Khandavavana, in every meeting Krishna had enlightened me by unforgettable lessons on how I should behave as the Maharani.
Srikrishna- the Lord of the Universe Page 55