The only place of respite in Hastinapura for me, my brothers and Srikrishna was Mahatma Vidura and his simple but neat residence on the border of Hastinapura. His heart was as simple and pure as his home was. His wife Parasavidevi was a perfect match for him. Mahamantri Vidura was extremely learned, pure at heart by penance and also very pragmatic. His face reflected the brilliance of his wisdom. It always reminded me of Uddhavadeva in Dwaraka. All of us Pandava brothers called him Vidurkaka with respect.
What if Vidurkaka had not become the Mahamantri of the Kurus? Then he would have certainly acquired a great position like Srikrishna’s gurus, Aacharya Sandipani or Ghor Angirasa. Grandsire Bhishma had recognized this potential of his and had stopped him from going to the Himalayas. Srikrishna’s name always came up in their talk. Grandsire Bhishma and Mahatma Vidura were two among the few in Hastinapura who knew what kind of Truth Srikrishna was and were touched by it.
As a Kshatriya warrior and a disciple, whenever I think of Guru Drona I am always reminded of the vast Yamuna under the sprawling Kadamba tree, the waters of which glisten in the rays of the sun and the depth of which is immeasurable. I could never comprehend three things in his life. The first one was the discrimination that he made between Ashwatthama and me as his son and his disciple. I was his best disciple hence like his son. Merit-wise I was a bit better than his son. I could never forget that he silently observed these qualities and secretly offered the Brahmastra to his son.
The second thing was the incident of the disgusting game of dice. At that time Draupadi had implored him, wailing and spreading both her hands in front of him. Even today it is chilling to remember her words. At that time, she had said to him, “Aacharya Drona, you are their guru. Practise your right as the guru and control Duryodhana and Dushasana. Bring my husband to his senses, who was foolish enough to play the game of dice. This daughter-in-law of the Kurus – your daughter – spreads both her hands in front of you and begs you to save her honour.” But Guru Drona simply kept staring at Grandsire Bhishma. She gave out a heart-wrenching cry that I could never forget when she saw the helplessness in his eyes, of the realization that ‘the men in this hall are slaves of wealth’.
The third thing that I couldn’t comprehend was his refusal to accept Karna and Ekalavya as his disciples based on their caste by birth. Both of them were dynamic youths who were seekers of knowledge and hard workers. Eventually, they proved their incredible mettle though they didn’t receive any guidance from him as a guru. Ekalavya had erected an earthen statue of the guru and in front of it he rigorously practised archery. Just like me he had also achieved mastery over the skill of hitting a target only by hearing the sound it made. One day during a hunting expedition Guru Drona got to witness this feat of his archery in front of all of us. Ekalavya had consecutively shot five arrows with different pressures in the mouth of a continuously barking dog with such skill that it had stopped the barking without causing the slightest injury to the dog’s tongue. This was indeed an ultimate matchless feat of archery. While witnessing it at least I felt like removing my bow from my shoulders and surrendering it at Ekalavya’s feet.
But Guru Drona demanded Gurudakshina at that very instant from that phenomenal disciple of his, whom he had never given any kind of training. At that time, I had found it bizarre, and I continued feeling so for the rest of my life. Guru Drona asked his tribal disciple to give his right thumb as the Gurudakshina. Even Ekalavya cut it immediately in front of us with his left hand and offered it at the guru’s feet. Nothing like this had happened ever before in the Aaryavarta region and one could never tell if it would happen in future. I could never forget the brilliance with which his eyes shone while offering that unique Gurudakshina at the feet of his guru.
Later I came to know from Guru Drona himself that the unprecedented event had taken place because of me and for my sake. He demanded that strange Gurudakshina as a precaution to avoid anyone else getting better than me as the master in archery.
That day itself two weird thoughts passed through my mind. I was getting news that Karna was also becoming an expert at hitting a target by its sound. He was the disciple of Kripacharya and not Drona. What if, coerced by Drona, Kripacharya had demanded Karna’s impenetrable Kavacha-kundala as Gurudakshina! I couldn’t tell the reason behind my faith, but I certainly believed that he would have removed it from his body and offered it at his guru’s feet. The second thought was about Srikrishna. Had Aacharya Drona been his guru instead of Aacharya Sandipani then would he have demanded something like this from Srikrishna? What would have Krishna answered as a staunch, obedient disciple? I am quite sure that at such a time he would have just given a naughty smile as usual and said, “As far as my knowledge goes a guru would never accept a blood-soaked Gurudakshina! I wish to offer my thumb at my guru’s feet, but it wouldn’t be possible for me to cut it with the left hand. Besides I wouldn’t like to spill my blood on the guru’s feet. Therefore, the guru should be so kind as to cut my thumb himself! Emancipate me from the ‘sanskar’ of Gurudakshina and give me blessings for a successful life!”
Two of Guru Drona’s relatives made two distinct impressions on my mind. One was his brother-in-law Kripacharya. Not just a guru he was also the family priest of the Kurus. Possibly because of that he had a greater inclination towards the religious rituals of the royal family. The other person was his son Ashwatthama. From birth, he possessed a very precious gift that no one else had. A fleshy red gem was located on the crown of his head. He used to cover his head with a strip of cloth in order to prevent anyone from seeing it. He spent most of his time in Karna’s company. Sometimes Krishna’s brother Uddhavadeva would visit Hastinapura. Then he would spend all his time in Uddhavadeva’s company. I always found Ashwatthama to be different from others. But how he was different, that I couldn’t figure out no matter how hard I tried. Therefore, later, in Indraprastha I even asked Srikrishna once – “Madhava, how do you find the guru’s son Ashwatthama? What do you think of him?” At that time, he didn’t respond with his usual playful irony. His face became solemn as it rarely became and he said, “To tell you the truth he is not the guru’s son and not even Ashwatthama. He is like that permanent blemish on the moon!” I didn’t understand a single word that he had said then. So, with my innate perseverance of an archer I pushed him further and asked one more time, “I didn’t understand a single word that you said.” Then he smiled playfully as usual and said, “Dhananjaya, is it really necessary to understand everything? Arjuna, sometimes ignorance is bliss!” Even this statement got me thinking.
After the coronation of our elder brother Yudhishthira in Indraprastha, some years passed by blissfully. Under Srikrishna’s guidance our newly built kingdom thrived progressively and judiciously. Within the first six years Draupadi had borne us five brilliant sons. The royal palace of Indraprastha bustled with their lively presence. During this time, we had decided to follow certain rules with regards to spending private time with our wife. Once I broke one of those rules. Therefore, I had to leave Indraprastha and go on a pilgrimage for one year. At that time, I travelled in the eastern region of Aaryavarta. During that journey, I performed formal rituals at the holy places of Akshayyavata, Vashishthaparva and Tunganatha, to wash away my sins. I visited the holy places of the eastern region one by one and reached Naimisharanya. There I took holy dips in rivers like Utpalini, Nanda, Aparananda, Kaushiki, Mahanadi and Gayatri. Finally, I entered river Ganga which was considered the holiest of all throughout Bharatavarsha.
I remembered the days in Hastinapura while taking a dip in her warm waters. There, in her expanse, the five of us used to swim to our hearts’ content in our childhood. While I was lost in these thoughts I had no idea that I would have to shoulder the responsibility of one more wife. Seeing me bathing the Naga daughter, Uloopi who had come there to fetch water approached me with her water pot. In a very sweet voice she requested, “I have recognized who you are. Please do me a favour and come to the Naga kingdom with me. Accept the hospi
tality of the Nagas and then continue your pilgrimage.” She was indeed incredibly good-looking. I couldn’t refuse her offer.
Her father, Kauravya Naga, put forth a marriage proposal as soon as he saw me. Meanwhile all the Nagas who had gathered there had realized that I was Kunti’s son Dhananjaya. They made a din and pleaded me to accept the proposal. I couldn’t refuse them too. Finally, I agreed to get married to Naga daughter Uloopi. I became the son-in-law of the Nagas. Uloopi was married to the son of a Naga called Airavata in childhood itself. As her husband passed away when she was still a child she became a ‘child widow’. Now she became my lawful wife. After some time, I left the Naga kingdom.
In the end, I came to Mount Mahendra which was blessed by the stay of Bhagvan Parashurama, who had bestowed the Sudarshan upon Srikrishna. I visited the summit there and the Bhrigu aashrama on it and descended into the Manipura kingdom. The ruler of this kingdom was Chitravahana. His daughter, Chitrangada of Manipura, became my third wife after Draupadi. She loved dancing. She would make me sit in the dance hall and present her splendid dancing skills for hours. She had copper-white complexion. After some time while wiping the beads of perspiration on her forehead and neck she would come and sit next to me. Like an innocent, naive young girl she would ask, “Did you like my dance? Am I making any mistakes? Among the citizens of Manipura even men dance along with women. It is our tradition. Will you dance freely with me?”
Hearing that, I would smile and say, “I like watching dance. Another thing I like is to make my enemy dance to the beat of my arrows!” Hearing my reply, she would get disheartened.
One day she zealously approached me along with an informer from Dwaraka. Since the beginning of my pilgrimage my best friend Srikrishna had been sending his expert informers one after the other and was always in touch with me. No matter how high a kite flies; she keeps an eye on her young ones. Srikrishna’s love for me was even more than the affection for his own sons. I knew it very well.
Chitrangada presented the informer of Dwaraka in front of me and said, “Oh master archer, listen to what he says. It looks like the right person has taken upon himself to make you understand what is good for you. He has brought a message from the Lord of Dwaraka that as long as you are in Manipura you should take dance lessons from Chitrangada every day. Dance is an art form that keeps one fit. Learning any form of art never goes waste.”
Srikrishna’s message was a command for me. So now the scenario was exactly opposite. As soon as we entered the dance hall I would say to Chitrangada, “Oh Gurudeva, you have won, and I have lost! I can guess well that it must be you who conveyed my opinion about dance to Dwaraka. Otherwise such an order would never be issued from there. Now teach me how to dance in rhythm and to a beat.”
This training in dance that I took in the Manipura kingdom came in handy later during the year of living incognito in Viratanagar while teaching dance to Princess Uttaraa, in the disguise of Brihannada. It was proof of Krishna’s words that ‘Learning any art form never goes waste’. Later, when Chitrangada gave birth to a son I named him Babhruvahana only after discussing it with Krishna. Babhru’s hair was brown. In his youth, instead of a horse he used to ride an animal which was also brown in colour. The citizens of Manipura called it Yak.
There was not a single event in my life that was not connected with Madhusudana of Dwaraka. Dwaraka! I am going to tell you in the end about my beloved friend Srikrishna who was the whole and soul of Dwaraka. In the beginning let me say only this much as a glimpse, that I always addressed him with different names, suitable to the occasion. Every time I found him to be extremely composed and showing a great deal of self-control, I always called him ‘Hrishikesha’ – the one who has control over his organs. Whenever he talked to me about his life in Gokul I addressed him by names such as ‘Gopala, Muralidhara, Damodara, Nandanandana, Mohana, and Govinda’. Whenever he talked about the lakhs of Yadavas of Dwaraka to me, I called him ‘Lord of Dwaraka, Vaasudeva, and Yadava’. From whatever angle, I looked at my life, I saw only Srikrishna there.
With his memory, another face that lingered in front of my eyes was that of his biological father – Maharaja Vasudeva. He had become very aged now. In Hastinapura Grandsire Bhishma and Maharaja Dhritarashtra were also aged. Maharishi Vyasa who visited us occasionally was also aged. But there was a very basic difference between all these seniors. Vasudevababa did not get an opportunity to inculcate sanskaras in Balarama and Srikrishna like Grandsire Bhishma and Maharaja Dhritarashtra who got an opportunity to keep an eye on us since childhood and inculcate sanskaras in us. Nandababa and Yashodamata of the Gopas got that opportunity. That is why Maharaja Vasudeva always tried to send his emissary from the island of Dwaraka to Gokul located near Mathura to invite Nandababa and Yashodamata to Dwaraka. But that aged couple would not leave their beloved Gokul. Srikrishna had often told me, “Going to Gokul now will be wrong on my part. Even I do not have the right to wipe out the image of innocent Gopalakrishna holding his flute, from the hearts of Nandababa and Yashodamata.” The striking quality that I felt about Srikrishna was, he never forgot that his birth parents had to spend their life in prison during his childhood. Therefore, he cautiously made it a point not to hurt them in any way during their old age. Vasudevababa, Devaki and Rohinimata were also aware of Srikrishna’s feelings. In fact, Rohinimata understood Srikrishna even more than Balaramadada.
Among the royal circle of Dwaraka Balaramadada’s personality was a bit difficult to understand. I should have in fact felt resentment towards him because of the stand he took during Subhadra’s wedding. But I didn’t feel that way. That was also due to Srikrishna’s ingenuity. Whenever Balaramadada’s name was mentioned in front of me he would always say almost casually, “Our Balaramadada is hot-tempered but also calms down quickly. Just as quickly as he gets emotional he also forgets his own actions very quickly. The Yadavas don’t mind it. Others also shouldn’t.”
Balaramadada was also a prodigious book, but like the mountain ranges of Aravali, opened by Mother Nature with her own hands. I always had the same respect for him as Srikrishna did. Even after getting married to Subhadra!
The Yadavas had two commanders – Anadhrishti and Satyaki. Anadhrishti had become old now. A true pillar and guide of the Yadava army was maharathi Satyaki who was experienced and had travelled throughout Aaryavarta with Srikrishna. Satyaki’s disposition was a bit like Balaramadada’s. As long as he was in Srikrishna’s company he seemed very energetic and radiant. Away from him he looked lustreless and dull. Just like him I was also Srikrishna’s Sakha. Then what was the exact difference between the both of us? He was a Sakha, dependent on Srikrishna, I was a Sakha completely surrendered to Srikrishna.
This submission of mine knew no boundaries. On various occasions Srikrishna had assessed the extent of my submission to him through many tests. He had chosen only me as his ‘Paramsakha’ among us Pandava brothers. He never addressed any of my brothers as Sakha.
There was a huge difference between the Yadava ladies and the Kaurava-Pandava ladies. All the Kaurava ladies except for Gandharidevi unknowingly carried the pride of their riches. Such women included Duryodhana’s wife Bhanumati and his sister Dushala. As our Pandava women had to struggle constantly with difficult circumstances they had automatically developed a kind of forbearing maturity. Kuntimata was their esteemed ideal. Draupadi also perfectly suited her as a daughter-in-law. Sometimes I would get this strange thought – what if Duryodhana’s wife Bhanumati had to face a humiliating experience like the one in the gambling hall of the Kauravas? What if Karna’s wife Vrishali had to face it? Whoever was present in that gambling hall, what if their wives had to face it?’ That is why after that disgraceful incident of the gambling hall, Draupadi’s place in my heart was elevated to a much higher position. Bhima had openly taken some vows. My way of doing things was different. Therefore, at that moment, in the gambling hall itself I had taken a vow in my heart to avenge the dishonour of her chastity. Draupadi was Srikrishna’s beloved S
akhi. Other than Draupadi, he had not regarded any other woman as his Sakhi except for Radhika in Gokul. She was Krishna’s dear Sakhi. I was his best Sakha. Draupadi was closer to me than my other wives.
And so, I frequently thought of the Yadava ladies of Srikrishna’s Dwaraka. I also used to think about how Draupadi feels for each of them. The leading ladies of the Yadavas of Dwaraka were Devaki and Rohinimata. Srikrishna had very thoughtfully refrained from accepting the royal throne of Dwaraka and had conferred that honour on Vasudevababa instead. He was also aware that this would cast aside Rukminivahini’s right to be the Maharani of Dwaraka. He had discussed matters with Rukminivahini and only then planned the administrative system of the Dwaraka kingdom. Notably, Rukminivahini had not at all opposed the system that he had in mind. It was this sacrifice of hers that had given her the strength to effortlessly practise the right of love over her seven co-wives. In fact, Gandhari and Kuntimata, Draupadi and Rukminidevi were different manifestations of the same kind of disposition.
Srikrishna’s seven wives in Dwaraka apart from Rukminivahini had completely different dispositions. Like seven different kinds of flowers with different fragrances. It was Rukminivahini who had successfully carried out the tough and unmatched task of being the thread that strung them together in one Vaijayanti garland. That is why Draupadi and I had boundless respect for her.
Rukminivahini had the biggest influence on the women of Dwaraka such as Revativahini, the aacharya’s wife, Gargamuni’s wife, wives of both the commanders, wives of all the ministers including Chief Minister Vipruthu, and those of the troop leaders, the sixteen thousand Kamarupa women whom Krishna had rehabilitated, and their leader Kasheru. Everyone had utmost respect for Devaki and Rohinimata. Indraprastha, Dwaraka and Hastinapura were connected with my life through strong emotional ties. I could never forget Karna’s vow of killing me during Draupadi’s Swayamwar. I had heard that he had impenetrableKavacha-kundala on his body. My brothers and I had already witnessed his expertise in archery, in shooting a target by hearing its sound during the contests organized on Vasant Paurnima. Yudhishthira had clearly expressed concern about Karna in our meeting in the same evening after the contest. I had consoled him saying, “You don’t have to worry about that son of a charioteer.” But the throbbing pain of his terrible vow was always there at the back of my mind. I would particularly discuss this subject in my meetings with Srikrishna. He wouldn’t usually get solemn. But whenever we discussed the topic of Karna he would initially fall silent for a few moments. After some time, he would smile as charmingly as usual and say, “You just maintain your unbreakable unity. Then you have no reason to worry about his Kavacha-kundala!”
Srikrishna- the Lord of the Universe Page 72