His head hanging low he answered, “He is there, but the guards didn’t let even me inside. He is castigating someone severely in his chamber. The guards said that I should not approach him at such a time. So, I waited for some time and came back.”
Hearing that dada alighted from the chariot in a single leap. I followed him. When Balabhadradada’s armed guards saw us, they greeted us with respect and made way for us. We went directly in the chamber.
Balidada was standing with his back to us. Still we could feel that he was trembling with rage. In front of him stood Kritavarma who looked much more aged than him!
Since the end of the Great War of Bharata, Kritavarma had stopped attending the Sudharma assembly. He also avoided dada, and saw me very rarely. Though he was a member of the Yadava ministry he remained intoxicated day and night. That was the reason why the Yadava soldier guards around his residence had also become alcoholic. Gradually, this addiction had spread among all Yadava soldiers in the whole of Dwaraka. Many liquor shops had been opened again in every square of this grand royal city. Intoxicated Yadava soldiers were insanely fighting there with each other.
Since the time dada had announced that mentally he would take to Vanaprasthashrama, he had stopped attending the Sudharma assembly. He was not taking any interest in the administration. Prince Balabhadradada was fed up of drawing decrees and making announcements. The Yadavas refused to conform to any kind of rules.
Balabhadradada who spoke very less otherwise was saying, “You, vile traitor! You are cunningly trying to do what you couldn’t do at Kurukshetra. We should have recognized it that very night when Ashwatthama slew all the sons of Draupadi. That night, you were the one holding your bare sword and keeping a watch outside the pavilion along with Kripa. After that you spoiled all the combative Yadava soldiers left in Dwaraka. You turned them into addicts, alcoholics. You are a traitor. You better leave Dwaraka today, or else I will behead you in front of the crowd with my own hands.”
At that point dada came forward. He stood between them and quietly said, “Jyeshtha, I can understand your rage. You need to control it. It is too late for your severe actions now. In my opinion you yourself should go to the holy land of Prabhasa and pray to the Almighty for the betterment of the Yadavas. You decide and do whatever seems right to you!” Without uttering a single extra word, he left Balaramadada’s chamber. That day for a long time we sat on the stone veranda of the temple of Goddess Ida near the Aindra gate. Only the two of us, sitting in silence. We kept watching the continuous dance of the ocean waves; listening to the unfathomable sound of Time.
The full-moon day of Kojagiri arrived. The Yadavas had a tradition of visiting the holy land of Prabhasa on this day. Accordingly, all the major Yadavas left for Prabhasa in boats. Only the elderly Yadavas and children were left behind. In the end Balaramadada also left along with his brothers Gada and Sarana, and all his sons including Nishatha and Ulmuka. A special caravan of about one hundred boats carrying pitchers full of Maireyaka wine and jars full of Somarasa for the entertainment of thousands of Yadavas also left. Dada had long back given up attending such public festivities.
As it was the night of Kojagiri Paurnima only both of us along with Daruka sat on the stone seats near the Aindra gate in the clear, beautiful starlit night. The waves of the western ocean were dancing in front of us. I had seen dada dance the Rasa with Yadava men and women on countless such nights of Kojagiri Paurnima, on the occasions of weddings and naming ceremonies. Therefore, I opened the topic of Rasa, while watching the foamy, roaring waves. I said to dada, “When you play Rasa it seems like you have become one with everyone. It feels as if it’s you who is dancing with each man and woman. What is the secret behind this?”
For quite some time, he kept looking alternately at me and the roaring western ocean bathing in the starlit night. Then he gave a smile and said in very few words, “Avadhuta, the Rasa dance is symbolic! The Almighty creator of the universe plays Rasa every moment of time. Even at this moment he is playing some kind of Rasa far away!” Then he fell silent. Even I didn’t say anything. In that bright starlit night of Kojagiri we sat on the stone seats near the ocean shore for a long time. In silence! When we came back it was past midnight.
Two days went by. On the third day, early in the morning we heard three sharp tolls on the time-indicating iron disc after a long time, asking for a special meeting with the Lord of Dwaraka. ‘Who could it be?’ Dada and I looked at each other questioningly.
After some time, first came the guard of the time-indicating iron disc platform. Following him was the same guard of the holy land of Prabhasa who didn’t care for the practice of giving advance notice of coming. Shaking with fear he directly prostrated at dada’s feet and began sobbing.
Both of us kept wondering what had happened. I sat down and tried to console the guard lying at dada’s feet.
But dada stood still instead of pulling him up quickly as he usually did when anyone prostrated at his feet. I consoled the guard and made him stand up. I patted on his shoulders and said to him, “Don’t be afraid, and don’t cry. You are standing in front of a great man known for his kindness. What happened? Speak up.”
Wiping the tears continuously streaming down his eyes he uttered barely one word at a time after gathering all his courage, “Oh Lord of Dwaraka – Avadhuta – a devastating thing has happened. The night – night before last, in the starlit – starlit night of Kojagiri – in the holy land – land of Prabhasa – a disaster took place. All major Yadavas of the eighteen royal families got drunk and under the influence of alcohol fought with each other and destroyed themselves!”
“What…?” I almost screamed.
But dada was still calm. He spoke firmly as if he was talking to himself, “Oh guard, calm down and tell us everything that has happened and how it happened, in detail.”
Now the guard who had composed himself began speaking clearly and continuously–
“As the full moon of Kojagiri Paurnima arose in the sky thousands of Yadavas began drinking together from the cauldrons full of Maireyaka wine and Somarasa. By the time the moon reached overhead at midnight all of them were uncontrollably drunk.
“First, Kritavarma provoked commander Satyaki by bringing up the subject of the Syamantaka jewel. He literally called the Lord of Dwaraka a ‘thief’. Hearing that, Satyaki got infuriated and began hurling the iron grass arrows from the nearby meadows of iron grass continuously at Kritavarma, with his bare hands. Then for quite some time both of them fought using the iron grass arrows. It was hard to figure out how quickly and how many grass arrows Satyaki was uprooting and shooting them, much more speedily than he did in the Great War of Bharata. Samba got enraged to see his alcohol-guru Kritavarma wounded with grass arrows. He attacked Satyaki, and shot countless grass arrows at Satyaki. Pradyumna couldn’t
tolerate this attack on the commander. He killed Samba first. Bhadradevi’s eldest son Sangramjita was killed by his own
brother Subhadra with the grass arrows shouting ‘You always insult me…’
“Then for a long time all intoxicated Yadavas fell upon each other noisily, forgetting their age, relations, and morals.
“Prince Balaramadada got exhausted running around, raising both his hands while shouting and pleading ‘Wait! Stop it in the name of Goddess Ida.’ No one bothered to pay any attention to him. The yelling and hurling of arrows by the drunk Yadavas continued till late night. The benumbed prince sat on a boulder holding his head in his hands.
“All the Yadavas killed their own brethren ruthlessly with the grass arrows which had never happened even in any war!
“By sunrise the holy land of Prabhasa had turned into Kurukshetra. The dead bodies of the Yadavas had scattered all over the place like the fruits of a mango tree falling down due to the heavy rains of Mriga and scattering around the tree trunk. All the meadows of the grass arrows were completely wiped out. There was not even a tiny place left on the ocean shore near the meadows where a corpse of a Yadava
did not lay.
“Dejected Prince Balarama took the support of a young Yadava who had escaped and came near the shore of the western ocean. In the ocean sand, he sat in padmasana and went into a meditative trance. Just then the high tide came in. The young Yadava who was with him told me later that a white flame came out of dada’s closed eyes and disappeared far away among the ocean waves.
“Seeing the roaring high tide of the ocean the young Yadava accompanying him ran away in fear. Later we went there. We couldn’t find the prince’s body.
“Oh, Lord of Dwaraka – our prince Balabhadradada has left us, he was swept away by the ocean!”
The guard hid his face in his shawl and trembled.
Benumbed, I held my head with my hands and slipped to the floor.
Dada spoke only one sentence and went inside – “Thoralya, once you got angry with me and left me. So, I sent my peacock feather and brought you back. But now this younger brother of yours has nothing to bring you back!”
As soon as dada got the news he told Daruka to get the Garudadhwaja chariot ready. He took me and Revativahini with him and left for the holy land of Prabhasa. He had left only after instructing the Chief Minister to bring Vasudevababa and Rohinimata along with Thorali to the holy land of Prabhasa. He had also instructed to send informers with the news to places such as Hastinapura, Kampilyanagar, Indraprastha, Viratanagar and Raivataknagar.
Now all of us were going to stay at Prabhasa till all the final rites of Balabhadradada were performed. Dada got eighteen huge funeral pyres arranged for all Yadava warriors who had lost their lives in the fight. He had brought one elderly person from each royal family of the Yadavas. Those senior people performed the final rites of all the dead ones together, with chanting of mantras. He was steady and calm even while igniting the sandalwood funeral pyre of Balabhadradada.
To offer Tilanjali to all of them Yudhishthira and Draupadi had come from Hastinapura along with the other Pandavas. Mahatma Vidura and Sanjaya also accompanied them.
After the ritual of Tilanjali was completed dada took aside only master archer Arjuna from among the Pandavas. I accompanied both of them. Very calmly he asked Arjuna – “Did you perform the final rites of Kunti aatya properly in the forest of the Himalayas?”
That question was quite unexpected to Arjuna who was teary eyed in memory of Balabhadradada. With moist eyes, he simply kept staring at dada. Even he looked much older now. He just nodded in affirmation indicating that they had performed all the final rites of Kunti aatya. He didn’t know what to say.
Dada put his right arm on Arjuna’s broad shoulders and patting him gently he said, “My elder brother is gone. Everyone has to go. I will also have to go tomorrow. In memory of Kunti aatya and Balabhadradada promise me something at this moment.”
Dada had never asked for anything from anyone – not even a promise! As Arjuna perceived it he felt even more overwhelmed with tears and gently putting his blue hand on dada’s bluish rosy palm he silently nodded in affirmation to give him the promise.
He said to Arjuna slowly, “Partha, you are to protect all the Yadava women after I am gone!”
I shivered hearing those words. I didn’t at all expect that he would say something like this. Arjuna was utterly stunned. Soon it was time for the Pandavas to return to Hastinapura. While bidding farewell to them today dada knelt down on the ground and prostrated at the feet of eldest Pandava Yudhishthira and Bhimsena like he did at the feet of Aacharya Sandipani and sage Ghor Angirasa. But both of them were so shaken by the news of the destruction of the Yadavas and by the bad news about Balaramadada that both of them didn’t even realize it.
Both younger Pandavas, Nakula and Sahadeva, along with Arjuna prostrated at dada’s feet. At this time, he held only his Sakha Arjuna, the most ideal among men, in a deep embrace. Both of them stood silently in each other’s embrace for a while. I don’t know if anyone else saw it, but I saw tears rolling down Arjuna’s eyes and streaming down dada’s bluish back.
Draupadi who always spoke openly with him without any reservation was speechless now. As dada approached her to bid farewell she leaned forward to touch his feet. With utmost affection dada held both her hands and stopped her.
She thought dada was going to give her some advice if not as much as he had given Arjuna. But dada spoke only one sentence, “Sakhi… you want my words right now. I am giving you my love – in the form of a garment! Take good care of it.” And he handed over his orange shawl wrapped around his throat to her.
The Pandavas left for Hastinapura with Draupadi. We came back to Dwaraka with Vasudevababa and both the matas. Now I could clearly see the disorder in dada’s daily routine. He had stopped going to the ocean shore to offer evening Arghya – oblations to the Sun god. He had particularly stopped meeting any sages, ascetics, or hermits visiting Dwaraka. But he still visited Vasudevababa and both rajmatas twice a day without fail. He was spending most of his time on the charity-offering platform now. He wasn’t speaking much even with me. The only times he spoke was when Sage Ghor Angirasa came to visit from Mount Raivataka after hearing the news of Balabhadradada and when Aacharya Sandipani came with his son Dutta from the Ankapada aashrama in the forest of Avanti.
Just as I could feel his reticence Rukminivahini felt it too. Whenever both of us met we spoke only on this subject for a long time. While concluding such discussions, she would
say, “Don’t worry Avadhuta bhauji. I am sure that Sri will talk with only you and when he does, he will talk to his heart’s content!”
I kept waiting for that day. My heart was getting numb inside. Meanwhile the naval chief brought news which made everyone solemn. An earthquake-like movement had taken place underwater in the western ocean. Due to that the Kroshtu lighthouse guiding the harbour of Dwaraka had sunk at the base. Dada did not open his mind even about this to me. And finally, the day dawned – the day of dada’s speaking – the day of the end of an era!
That day very early in the morning at the Brahma Muhurta,I woke up to melodious tunes of the flute, one after the other. I was seeing him play the flute in Dwaraka for the first time. Even the bards had not yet arrived. Before they could wake dada up with their regular singing he woke me up to the unforgettable unknown tunes on his flute.
As he saw me awake he stopped and smiled at me. I asked him curiously, “How come today you are awake even before the arrival of the bards?”
He said, “Wash your face first, then I will tell you.” He had already finished all his morning rituals.
I washed my face and came back, and sat in front of him as usual on the rug and repeated my question, “Dada, how come you are awake even before the arrival of the bards today?”
He smiled and said, “I have stopped my flute so that you can hear it clearly. Listen carefully. What do you hear?” He began testing me right from the morning today. Closing my eyes, I listened attentively – ‘curr…dhupp... curr…dhupp!’ the continuous sound of western ocean was clearly audible. I said, “The western ocean is playing the flute of his usual sound! I can hear it.”
“No, my dear friend Avadhuta! Listen more carefully and pay attention.” I could feel a considerable difference in the very first sentence that he spoke today. Since the day, he had begun his spiritual Vanaprasthashrama he had never given me an order as such. Whenever he wanted to get something done by me he spoke aloud to himself. But today he had commanded me after a long time. Hearing his order, I felt ecstatic from within. It felt like I had found something invaluable that I had lost. But I couldn’t pinpoint what exactly it was.
I closed my eyes again and listened carefully. After some time. I said, “I can hear some kind of tiny sound like the tearing of a cloth.”
He smiled again. I had seen this smile of his many years ago, when I was in the Ankapada aashrama with him – very innocent, and playful.
He said, “Oh Udho, bandhu, it’s not a cloth! It is the morning cawing of the wild crow that we heard at the Brahma Muhurta on the very first day in the
Ankapada aashrama of Avanti. Today this old friend of mine woke me up by playing the flute of his cawing even before the bards! Our friendship is very old!”
I simply kept staring at dada with my eyes wide. What he was saying was true. This was the second shock that he had given me today.
We performed the morning chores such as bathing, Pranayama, recitation of mantras, worshiping the cows, drinking their milk, etc. Dada sent a Yadava servant to summon Daruka. Within a short time Daruka presented himself in dada’s service. He had brought the Garudadhwaja chariot in the front yard. Today he had decorated the already embellished Garudadhwaja chariot with the garlands of dada’s favourite Kadamba flowers. I boarded the chariot after dada. We left for the morning visit to Vasudevababa and both the mothers. Daruka brought the chariot in front of the palace of Maharaja Vasudeva.
Daruka had not called the names of the four beloved horses harnessed with golden-bordered fabric on their backs as usual. Dada had unmistakably noticed it. Before climbing down, he said to Daruka, “Sakha Daruka, looks like you haven’t groomed my beloved horses for two days! They are not wagging their tails or neighing like usual. They are not raising concentric circles on their bodies with the wind!”
“Yes, my Lord. I didn’t get a chance to collect the thorny wild creepers to groom them. That is why I didn’t groom them. And so, they look a bit fatigued today. Or else they would have neighed in ecstasy as soon as they saw you.” Daruka gave a detailed explanation abashedly.
“That’s okay. You don’t go now; I will go myself in the afternoon and bring the thorny wild creepers for their grooming.” Dada said to him smilingly and descended from Garudadhwaj. The three of us entered the grand and puissant royal palace of Vasudevababa and went to see Vasudevababa and Thorali and Dhakali mata in their chamber. Dada prostrated in front of the three of them. Daruka and I followed suit. Today dada didn’t leave their chamber in a hurry as usual. He sat on Thorali’s bed. A few moments passed by. No one spoke anything. This was the usual scene since the destruction of the Yadavas and Balabhadradada’s passing away. Breaking the emotional barrier for all, dada said to Thorali, “It’s been such a long time since I drank milk from your hands! Will you give me some today?” He gave her such a charming smile that she couldn’t say anything. ‘Yes, I will’ she said and she herself went into the inner chambers rather than ordering the maid to bring it. Dada came and stood in front of Dhakali, who was sitting next to Vasudevababa. With the memories of Balabhadradada both their minds which could read each other well were overwhelmed by emotions. Dhakali put the edge of her Padar in her mouth and began sobbing. Moving forward dada held her wrinkled hands in his palms. His voice had never changed so far, but at that moment it became heavy. Patting Dhakali’s hands he said, “Calm down Dhakali mata! In fact, I should be grieving more than you. Oh, how much I troubled my elder brother – your son!” Dada lovingly patted Dhakali’s weary, old shoulders.
Srikrishna- the Lord of the Universe Page 104