Lila screeched from the porch then rushed back inside. A moment later, a man, who I assumed was Mr. Meyers, came out. When Brent saw him, he hobbled to his feet and staggered to his car.
“Call the cops,” Mr. Meyers told Lila. He then turned to me and Sage. “Go inside.”
When we got to the kitchen, Sage cornered me. He clasped my face in his hands. “Are you okay?”
“Y-yeah. Just scraped my arm.” I glanced at him. “Your lip is bleeding and I think you’re gonna have a black eye. You shouldn’t have done that. He could’ve hurt you.”
“I’m fine, Grace.” He brushed hair from my face. “But you scared the shit out of me. When I saw him jump on you like that … ”
“I promise, I’m all right.” I turned my arm over to see the blood dripping down it.
“This isn’t all right.” He held my wrist to examine my elbow.
Logan stood talking with Mr. Meyers, then shot a quick look at me. His eyes narrowed when he saw my arm. “Here, we should get that cleaned up.”
He left his dad and went across the kitchen and grabbed a washcloth from a drawer. He ran it under the faucet, and then gently wiped my wound.
I cringed. “Ah.”
“Sorry,” he said.
“It’s okay.”
Lila leaned against the counter, crying. “My party is ruined. I can’t believe Brent showed up like that. And look at your face.” She stared at Sage. “Do you want me to get you some ice?”
“No, I’m good.” He waved her off, watching Logan clean me up.
“I’m really sorry about Brent,” Logan said.
“It’s not your fault.”
“I know, but I should’ve made you go inside.”
“No way. I wasn’t about to leave you.”
He chuckled. “I noticed.”
With a sigh, I stood up straight. “Listen, I think I might head home now.”
“I can walk you.” Logan touched my shoulder.
“It’s okay, I can take her. I think I’m gonna head for it too,” Sage said. “Happy Birthday, Lila.”
“Wait, I wanted you to stay.” She pouted.
“No, I think you ought to let them go for now, Lila. I doubt their parents will appreciate them coming home looking like they went three rounds in a boxing match.” Mr. Meyers frowned.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said to Sage.
“See you.” He waved to Lila and then said to me, “Hey, I’m gonna go let Allie and Benji know we’re heading out, if you want to wait down on the beach for me.”
“Okay.”
I waited for Sage and a few minutes later, he joined me. We walked down the shore in silence. I peered up at the sky, the stars twinkled like tiny fireflies. The warm summer air tickled my skin.
“Thanks for coming to my rescue,” I said. “Again.”
“Yeah, this is becoming too much of a thing,” he teased.
“Don’t act like you don’t enjoy being the hero.”
He chuckled. “Tell that to my swollen face.”
“Are you sure you’re fine?”
“Yes, now quit worrying.” He caught my hand in his and pulled me to a stop. “See, I’m gonna live.” He leaned close so I could examine him again.
My breath hitched as my fingers seemed to move of their own accord. I traced the contours of his face and under his eye.
He winced.
“Sorry.” I went to drop my hand, but he stopped me and pressed it closer to his skin.
I stared up at him, the surf surging against my feet. Beneath me, my legs quaked, and I feared I might fall.
“Sage,” I whispered.
“Hmm?”
I inhaled deeply, needing to compose myself. Now was the time to take the leap. I wasn’t sure how it’d end—but I knew I had to try.
“I’m sorry for everything I put you through when we broke up. I-I never meant to hurt you.” Tears trailed down my cheeks.
“I know.” His thumb brushed the salty droplets from my face.
“The thing is—well—I-I never stopped loving you.”
A slow hiss of air left his lips. “Grace, you’ve got the worst timing.”
“I know. I’ve been working up the courage—”
He bent forward until his forehead touched mine. “You’ll always mean a lot to me, Grace, but—”
“Sage.” Lila’s voice sounded in the distance.
No. Why now? Why couldn’t I get just one break?
He stepped away from me and I suddenly felt cold. But I realized then, he’d made his choice. He and I already had our chance. I’d blown it.
“Hey,” Sage said when Lila joined us.
She stared up at him with her big, perfect, doe-like eyes. “You forgot your sweatshirt on the beach.”
“I could’ve got it tomorrow.”
“I know, but I didn’t get a chance to say goodnight.” Her gaze slid to me.
Three’s a crowd. I got the hint.
“I-I’m gonna head home.” I pointed toward our house. “I’ll see you guys later.”
“Grace, hold on, I’ll walk you,” Sage said.
“No, it’s fine. I’m sure you’ve got better things to do. Go with Lila. It’s cool.” I waved then turned so they couldn’t see me cry. As fast as my legs would carry me, I walked to the house. When I got to the deck, Chico greeted me with a loud meow. For once, he didn’t attack me. Instead, he rubbed against my knee. I picked him up and buried my face in his fur. I carried him inside with me and headed up to bed.
As I lay on my bunk, pain swam through me. My heart hurt so bad, I couldn’t breathe. Sobs raked through me. I felt like I was losing Sage all over again. A few minutes later, I heard him come upstairs. At least he hadn’t stayed behind too long with Lila. I closed my eyes, pretending to be asleep. For a second, I thought I heard him whisper my name. But as the silence stretched on, I realized I must’ve imagined it. Tomorrow would start the rest of my summer. Good or bad, it was mine for the taking.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
The scent of bacon woke me up the next morning. With a sigh, I trudged from bed, threw on a bra, T-shirt, and shorts then went downstairs. When I got to the dining room, everyone was at the table, except for Sage.
“Where’s Sage?” I took a seat next to Allie. My dad had made his infamous omelets. My mouth watered as I waited for him to put one on my plate.
Mr. Castle glanced at me over his cup of orange juice. “Oh, he headed out early to meet up with Lila. I think they were going to get breakfast in town.”
“It’s official, Sage isn’t right in the head,” Benji said. “Anyone who passes up Dad’s omelets is insane.”
The adults laughed, while I slouched deeper into my chair. I pretended to wipe the sleep from my eyes, staring at the bowl of fried potatoes in the middle of the table. I was done. The list was complete and it had changed absolutely nothing. Sage had chosen Lila. Not me.
There’s still time. You still have two-thirds of the summer left. No. It’s really over. There’d be no rekindling of our romance. But at least we’d gotten to the point where we could talk again. That was better than nothing.
“I think I’m gonna go for a run,” I said.
“But, honey, you haven’t eaten your breakfast yet.” Mom caught my eye across the table.
“I’ll eat when I come back. I want to go before it gets too warm out,” I lied. With a fake smile, I hurried to grab my tennis shoes. Once they were laced, I rushed out the back door and down the beach.
Sadness washed over me. I fought back the tears that threatened to spill over. Things were supposed to be different. My feet pounded the sand as I pushed myself harder. My fists clenched as I pumped my arms. I cut through the beach grass and up to the main road. Traffic flew by me in a blur, while I ran on the shoulder of the highway.
Each step brought me further from the house and closer to town. My lungs burned, sweat glistened on my arms and trickled down my brow. But I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. I needed this. Needed to forget every
thing. When I got to the outskirts of town, I made my way to the boardwalk. At last, I slowed to walk. I crossed my arms behind my head and attempted to catch my breath. From here, I saw Sage and Lila headed out onto the pier. She had her arm looped through his. A moment later, he pulled her into a hug.
God, it was like they were everywhere. I couldn’t get away from them. Defeated, I turned to go, when I spotted Logan sitting on a bench, facing Lake Michigan. As if sensing me, he glanced in my direction.
“Why do you look like you’ve just lost your best friend?”
“Because I have.” My voice cracked and I plopped down next to him. “Do you ever wish you could turn back time and change a stupid decision you made?”
He stared at his hands. “Every day of my life. Why, what’s wrong?”
I wet my lips. Choked up, I told him about Sage, my regrets, how I’d come up with the list to get him back. When I finished, he let me cry until no more tears would fall. I wiped my eyes on my palms.
“What about you?” I faced him.
His chest heaved as he took a deep breath. “Remember how I told you I was in an accident my senior year?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, me and that guy, Brent, you met the other night had been drinking at this party. Our curfew was almost up and we had to get home. I’d already been late a few times that week, and my parents had threatened to take my car away if I did it one more time,” he said.
My fingers brushed his arm.
“Brent, me, and our friend Rod hopped in my car. We’d all been drinking, but I was the least drunk out of us, so I drove. On our way home, I crossed the centerline—”
“Oh, God,” I whispered.
“I hit a tree. It totaled the car and Rod ended up in a coma. He was in it for about six months. When he came out, he was paralyzed and messed up in the head. He’s in an adult home now. I try to visit on the weekends. He doesn’t really remember me, you know, but I still go.”
“Logan.” I stroked his arm.
“Brent and I walked away from the crash with broken bones. Injuries that would heal. We both lost our scholarships. We got our licenses taken away for a while.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Me too. I hurt a lot of people. I’m lucky I didn’t kill them. But that night, the accident, is something I have to live with for the rest of my life.”
“Is that why you and Brent aren’t friends anymore?”
“Yeah. Partially. The thing is, he didn’t learn a damn thing from that night. It’s like everything’s a joke to him. You saw him at Lila’s birthday party. He’s constantly getting shit-faced. And he can’t stay out of fights or jail. I try to avoid him, but sometimes he just shows up.”
“But you’re doing better now, right?”
“Yeah. Mostly. I have my moments of nightmares, regrets, anger. Times where my knee still bothers me. A lot of thoughts that it should’ve been me who ended up in the home, not Rod.”
“Everything happens for a reason—even if it doesn’t make sense to us at the time,” I said.
“Sometimes life doesn’t make sense. I think that’s the point. We’re given tests, trials, choices, to see how we cope with them. It’s not just about surviving them, Grace, it’s about how we change to become better. I have to believe that I’m better than I was. That I’m not that same, inconsiderate kid I was.”
I leaned my head against Logan’s shoulder. “I’m glad we met this summer.”
“Me too.” He squeezed my hand. “I know you have a thing for Sage, but I wondered if you might want to go to a beach volleyball game with me Monday? Some of my buddies and me are getting a bunch of people together—it’ll be fun.”
“Sure. Where should I meet you?”
“My house. We’re going to set it up on the beach behind my place.”
“Sounds good. And Logan,” I said as I stood.
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for the talk and for sharing things with me. I know it couldn’t have been easy.”
“Same here. Take care, I’ll see you Monday.”
I gave a small wave, then jogged away.
When I got back to my house, Allie and Benji were swimming with the younger two, pulling them along on their inner tubes. Our parents were sitting in lounge chairs, listening to music, and talking.
Wanting to get out of my sweaty running clothes, I went up to the loft. Here I found Sage, holding my soccer ball in one hand and the “How to Unbreakup” notebook in the other. I froze. Shit. I hoped he hadn’t opened the binder and found the list.
He looked up at me with a black eye. Geez, it was horrible. “Sorry, I was juggling the soccer ball and accidentally knocked some of your stuff off the back of your bed.” He handed it back to me.
“That’s okay. I probably shouldn’t have so much junk piled up there anyway.”
“I’ll see you later. Our dads are taking me, Benji, and Caleb fishing before dinner.”
“Have fun.”
Seeing him made me feel raw, like someone had torn a giant Band-Aid from my heart and dumped rubbing alcohol on it. When he left, I put my soccer ball back and opened my notebook to find the list gone.
“Oh God, where is it?” Freaked out, I checked under the bed. On the bed. The trashcan. The floor. But I couldn’t find it anywhere. Maybe Sage took it. But he didn’t have it in hand when he left. His hands were empty. However, if he didn’t have it. Then who did?
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Allie came up to the loft wrapped in her beach towel, hair dripping from swimming. “What are you doing?”
I crawled across the floor, checking under the couch. “The list is missing. I’ve checked everywhere for it.”
“Oh Crap. I’ll look through my stuff too. Maybe it’s in my dresser or on my bed or something.”
We both dug through our clothes, books, bedding, but couldn’t find it anywhere.
“Do you think we accidentally threw it out?” Allie asked.
With a sigh, I collapsed on her bed. “It doesn’t matter anyway, I guess. I’m done with it. I’ve done every item on it. He chose Lila, Allie.”
She sat beside me and hugged me. “I’m sorry. I really thought things would be different. But look on the bright side, you’re friends again. I know it’s not what we thought would happen, but at least he’ll be in your life again.”
She was right. But it didn’t make the hurt go away. “Listen, I think I’m gonna go outside and give Lyncee a quick call.”
“If you want, maybe later we can do something, just you and me,” she said.
“Okay.”
I trudged downstairs then went out onto the beach. This place was becoming my solace lately. I sat in the sand, burying my toes beneath the warm granules. A sailboat bobbed in the distance, coasting along the white caps.
Taking a deep breath, I dialed Lyncee’s number. “God, I didn’t think you’d ever call me,” she said as soon as she picked up.
“You do have my number, too, you know.”
“Yeah, but it’s more fun getting calls. Soooo, how are things going?”
My throat seemed to close off. “Life sucks.”
“Grace? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing went as planned. I just feel like I’ve lost everything. Sage and I, we’re not gonna happen.” I wanted to tell her all about it, but right now, I could barely talk to get it out.
“I’m sorry. Damn, I wish I was up there with you. Everything will be okay. I know that’s not what you want to hear right now, but you’re strong, beautiful, and perfect. Some hot guy is gonna come along and sweep you off your feet. Or better yet, you don’t even need a guy—because you’re awesome like that.”
“Thanks. Uh, sorry, I didn’t mean to have a breakdown.” I wiped my eyes.
“You’re entitled to have one. But hey, I know something that’ll cheer you up.”
“What’s that?”
“Brady Wilkes got punched in the face last night,” she said.
“By who
?”
“Yours truly.” Lyncee laughed.
“What? Are you kidding?”
“Nope. He tried to put his hand up my shirt during the pool party. So, I put my fist up his nose. And I may or may not have broken it. All I know is there was a lot of blood.”
“Oh my gosh, that’s epic. I would’ve loved to have seen that.” I giggled.
“It was kind of liberating. Also, I should probably tell you that I kind of told Rori and Michelle off too. So I definitely won’t be sitting at their lunch table this fall.”
“Me either. I stand by what I said the last day of school. I’m done hanging out with them.”
“So we’re officially through with all of them?”
“Yes,” I said, then grew quiet.
“Grace, are you okay?”
“It’s over,” I whispered.
“Wait, what?”
“I finished the list, Lyncee, and it wasn’t enough. Sage doesn’t want me. He wants her, Lila.” I went on to explain everything that’d transpired with Lila, Sage, and Logan. I even told her about telling Sage how I felt.
“Maybe this summer wasn’t really about getting Sage back,” Lyncee said. “Maybe it was more about finding yourself—who you want to be.”
“You know sometimes you’re pretty damn smart,” I half laughed, half cried. But she was right. I’d been unhappy for so long and I’d always attributed it to the summer I lost Sage. But it wasn’t just about losing him that changed me. It was me leaving behind who I really was—the people that mattered most. I’d plunged myself into a world I didn’t really belong or want to be in. Filled with parties, shopping, stuck-up “friends”, and popularity. And with each year that’d passed, I’d lost more of me.
The truth was, I would always love Sage. He was my best friend, my first boyfriend, my first kiss, and my first broken heart. But before I could ever expect to be loved in the way I wanted and needed to be, I had to love myself first. I needed to embrace the real me. Nerd. Band geek. Soccer and basketball player. Sci-fi lover. Sister. Daughter. Star Wars aficionado. That was the real Grace Evers. And I was ready to welcome her back.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
How to Unbreakup Page 15