Blurb
Eric Jensen doesn't need the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future to know he's made his fair share of mistakes. The reminders haunt him every day of his life, but a terrible loss becomes an eye opener this holiday season. A heartbreaking question from a young boy pushes Eric to do some serious soul searching, and helps him strive to be better.
Forgiving is the key...
Petra Cavannaugh spent the past two years growing as a person. She left her ex-boyfriend and struggled to make it on her own as a single mother. When Eric shows up at her doorstep one night just needing to see her, she wonders if he's finally becoming the man she always wished he'd be.
The best gift could be a second chance...
As Eric shows a side to Petra she's never seen, the two grow closer. But is forgiveness enough to take another chance on love? Eric must learn to forgive himself, and Petra has to learn to put her trust in the new Eric and not let his past dictate her future.
There are more than presents waiting to be opened. Will this Christmas finally open the two hearts sealed tightly shut?
Tis The Season For Forgiving
By
Nikki Lynn Barrett
Copyright 2014 Nikki Lynn Barrett
This is a work of fiction. All characters and dialogue are the products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Copyright 2014, Nikki Lynn Barrett
Acknowledgements
There is always many people to thank during the writing and publishing process, and I'm lucky to have so many great people supporting me on this journey.
This story in particular wasn't the easiest to write, but I need to thank Melissa Kendall for planting the idea in my head. Never would I have imagined in a million years someone would want a story for Eric, but you challenged me. I'm glad I took the challenge.
I want to thank my husband, Robert. You also prompted me to take this challenge, and you were a big help in this story once again.
Thank you to my family for your support with my love of books.
Thank you to Carey Abbott for rocking another holiday cover for me! It goes perfect with the stories!
Thank you Melissa, Kim, Melinda, and Crystal for reading early copies ... Melinda, your response still shocks me!
Thank you to Nikki's Book Stormers for your continued support!
My CLA sisters - Love you guys! We really are crazy, but it's all in good fun.
To my readers. Without you, this journey wouldn't be complete. I write the stories, but you bring the stories to life by reading and enjoying them. Thank you for taking a chance.
Dedication
This one's for you, Melissa Kendall. I figure you planted the idea in my head, then the dedication is all in your name. Any gray hairs I will blame on you! Kidding, kidding. Thank you for seeing something in a character I didn't see.
Praise for novels by Nikki Lynn Barrett
Baby Stetson
Nikki reminds me of some of my favorite authors that I couldn't wait to get my hands on the print books. - Kristy's Reviews & Random Thoughts
The Melody In My Head
This book kicked butt. I laughed, I cried, I yelled at the characters. - Fairy Tales Do Come True, Just ask Any Romance Author
The Key To My Heart
In every book we see not only friends and family, but a love through music that is impossible to not love. - Melena's Reviews
A Masterpiece of Our Love
I was intrigued by this book, because it seemed to suggest something more than a simple love story. I was not disappointed when I read it. - Fiona's Book Reviews
Just the way these two came together and came to depend on each other is unlike any other story I've read, but there were some pretty realistic aspects of it all that also pulled me in. - Fic Central
A Masterpiece Unraveled
With all the ups and downs, twists and turns, and moments that made you hold your breath ... this story was beautiful! I can't wait to read the last installment of this saga. Thank you for the inspiring story of love, passion, and destiny, Nikki. - Twin Sisters Rockin' Book Reviews
The Secret Santa Wishing Well
This story will truly lift the reader's spirit and open the heart for this wonderful holiday of giving and love. THE SECRET SANTA WISHING WELL is definitely a page turner, but be sure to keep some Kleenex handy as you will lose your heart to this fantastic little guy. - Fresh Fiction
It touched my heart. There were times I laughed, cried, and just awed by how this book came out. - Melena's Reviews
Take my word for it. Grab this book or any other by this author, get the tissues ready, and fall in love with her books like I did. - Racing To Read
On the 12th Date of Christmas
The author has created characters that touch you deeply, and you never want to let go of them. - Racing To Read
Although this is a hearty Christmas romance, it's still full of anger, pain, suspense, family betrayal, and loved one mistrust! Definitely kept me on my toes and wanting to not put my kindle down, so I could get to the bottom of the story. - Endless Reading
Prologue
Two years ago
True to his word, Eric Jensen agreed to anger management and to get his drinking under control. Released from jail a few days after he'd been arrested, he wondered just how much it was going to work.
He was pissed off at the world. He was pissed at Jonas Aimes, the little punk ass man who thought he was all that. How dare he! Who did he think he was, walking in the jail that day and threatening Eric the way he did?
The more that he'd thought about it though, the more he realized he'd hit rock bottom. Still, that little snot had no right to threaten him just because his parents were a big deal or something.
"Don't let your ass come back here," The guard said as he escorted him out of the gates.
"Wouldn't want to come back to this hellhole," Eric muttered, not looking back. He wanted to flip the man off. Instead, he continued to walk straight ahead and not look back.
Much to Eric's dismay and relief, his parents were waiting for him. Eric would bet he'd get an earful from his father. Just what he needed. More lecturing. He climbed in the backseat of the car and slumped in the seat.
"Sit your ass up, boy," his father snapped.
Grimacing, Eric did. Still, he had to have the last word. "What does it matter?"
"Want us to leave you here? Don't sass me, boy. You aren't in any position to turn away help right now. What were you thinking? Breaking and entering? Assault? What's with you, Eric?"
"What's it to you?" he yelled. "You never gave a damn about me or my life for years. Why now, all of a sudden? Ashamed I'm going to ruin your name?"
"Would you two stop this ridiculous arguing?" Mom snapped, pulling out on the road.
"Stop the car and let him walk. Maybe it'll do him some good," his father grumbled.
"What?" The walk was more than fifteen miles home.
"You can't be serious!" Even his mom sounded shocked.
"With this attitude, maybe he'll have some time to think. I mean it. Let him walk."
Once the car stopped, Eric jumped out. "Thanks for all your help," he shot back sarcastically, slamming the door. For a second, he stared back at them before the car lurched forward and went into traffic.
"What happened to your ride?" A male voice asked from behind him.
"What's it to you?" Eric grumbled.
"Well, I thought maybe if you wanted, you could ride the bus with me. If you don't have any money for it, I'll pay."
"Why do you care?"
"Because man
, I'm in the same position as you. Pissed at the world, with no one to rely on. Maybe, I don't know, we could figure this crap out together. I'm Adrian." He held out a hand.
Eric ignored it. Instead, he stuffed his hands in his pocket. "I'm Eric."
"So, what got you in?" Adrian gestured for him to follow. Eric fell in to step beside the man.
"I had a drunk angry rage when my..." He almost said girlfriend. Petra made it clear she was leaving him. "Ex-girlfriend decided she'd had enough of me and wouldn't leave the house she was at."
"What did you do to her?"
"What the hell makes you think I did anything to her?"
Adrian stopped and glared at him. "Just a feeling."
"I yelled at her. A lot. I left her at the mall with our daughter because I got mad." Come to think of it, what had be been so upset over anyway?
"So you went to jail for...?"
"I tried to break into my ex-wife's house. That's where my ex-girlfriend ended up going. In the process, I punched her best friend's boyfriend." Damn that Jonas. Eric's blood boiled just thinking of that man again.
"So you have family." Adrian led them to a bus stop. "Let me tell you something. You'll regret this. I've got a wife and son, and every time I screw up, I think it's the end. I yell. I get drunk. I can't figure out why half the time. But I need my boy and Gina in my life. You got anger management referral?"
Eric nodded.
"Stick with me, man. Maybe somehow we can figure this crap out together. Maybe we'll start an asshole club or something."
Eric snorted. "Doesn't sound like a club I'd like."
"You know, I was thinking the same thing. Maybe that means we need to figure out our crap and get our lives back on track."
Was that even possible? Could it get better from here? Had Eric finally hit his lowest, the point most called rock bottom?
On the way to town, Adrian sat beside Eric and did most of the talking. He only half listened to the guy as he tried to figure out whether he should go see Petra or not. If she was still staying with Cheyenne and Jacob, no way was he going to go around there.
Maybe Petra would be home when he got there. She couldn't have moved her stuff along with Kinley's in just a few days. He could...
He could do what? Honestly, he didn't have a clue any more.
"I'm going to go home and make it right with my girl," Adrian was saying. "What about you?"
Eric snapped to attention. "I think it's too damn late for that," he muttered through a clenched jaw.
Adrian let out a sigh. "It's never too late. If you love her, keep her."
What Eric wanted to keep was a bottle and a smoke. The bottle he'd have to give up, or at least attempt to. He longed to drown his misery up in a bottle of whiskey or vodka.
Then again, that's what got him into this mess in the first place. This was the first time he'd ever been arrested for anything. He was a dumb drunk, an angry man, and he scared the hell out of people half the time, including himself. That night at Cheyenne's was the last straw. He'd had enough and something inside just snapped. He was actually surprised he'd even managed to hit Jonas, but the adrenaline from his anger must have really kicked in.
Just before Adrian got off the bus, he wrote his number down and handed the slip of paper to Eric. "Call me. We'll figure this crap out. See you at the meetings, eh?"
"Yeah, whatever," Eric mumbled, wishing the guy would just get off the bus and leave him alone.
Adrian shrugged and waved, then walked off the bus.
As Eric got off the bus and headed for home, he wondered where his car ended up. He'd driven it over to Cheyenne's, hadn't he? He couldn't remember if Petra had her set of keys to it. Maybe Jacob had it towed. Not that it mattered at the moment, but it would be nice to have his vehicle back.
The bus stop was only ten minutes from the house. Eric made it and jabbed his key in the hole, wondering what awaited him inside.
He stood in an empty living room. Only the couch he'd had originally and two tables sat there. Petra had decorated the place up when they moved in together over a year ago. She'd put her woman's touch on the house, something Eric never really paid much attention to, until he noticed everything gone now.
Guilt crept into his abdomen.
She was gone.
He'd driven her away, too.
Eric kicked off his shoes, then pulled off his socks. It was cold out, but the soft carpet on the bottom of his feet felt good. He walked around the house, the emptiness sinking in even more with each room he visited.
She really was gone. Petra had taken their daughter and left him.
"I didn't need you anyway!" he yelled at the wall in the bedroom he'd shared with Petra. Eric tried to convince himself the entire day that he'd do just fine. He ran to the fridge and searched for any liquor he had left.
There was nothing.
The bottles were empty and sitting on the counter next to the sink.
He took one and hurled it against the wall. The bottle shattered and glass flew, glimmering in the light. Hours after being home, Eric pulled out his phone, searched for that piece of paper he'd debated on throwing away and made a call. "Hi, Adrian. It's uh, Eric. The guy you were-"
"I had a feeling you'd call," Adrian interrupted. "She left you?"
"She did. Took the baby and she's gone. Dumped out all my drinks."
"Eric, it's the best thing, even though you don't see it now. Tell you what, how about I meet up with you somewhere? I've been down this road too many times and I know I've got to do something to get in gear. You're going to want someone on your side right about now."
Eric thought about his parents, who'd just left him to walk. He had no one else.
"Yeah, let's do that." Maybe this guy could teach him how to climb out of the rock bottom pit he'd dug.
*****
"There's a place I found from a friend. He can get you a discount on the rent. It's not much, but it'll do for the two of you. How about we go look at it tomorrow?" Petra's mom stood in the doorway of the overly crowded room. Kinley was settled in her playpen in the living room. The whole house was in complete chaos.
"Sounds good to me." Petra closed her eyes. The dull ache in her head turned into a deep throb, and she wondered what was next.
"I heard Eric got out earlier today. Has he tried to contact you?"
As of an hour ago, nothing. Petra wasn't sure at this point because her phone was on the charger. "I don't think so."
"Your father and I won't hesitate to call the cops if he dares to show his face."
With a nod, Petra held back a cry. Her mother didn't need to see her like this. She'd chide her for crying over Eric. And it wasn't like she was just crying over Eric. It was the whole thing of starting over as a single mother. Not that Eric really ever helped out much. For some reason, he seemed almost afraid of his daughter.
"You'll get through this." Mom wrapped her up in a hug. "I'll go see to Kinley for a bit and let you have some time to yourself. Honey, don't go back to him this time if he comes crawling back. You deserve better than what Eric gives."
Petra turned away, staring out the window. "I won't, Mom." She sensed her mother still standing there for a minute more before she walked out of the room.
For more than a year, she'd lived a life of chaos and drama while trying to make a relationship work with Eric. He was a man who hid behind his anger and drinking. It was finally time to realize she couldn't fix a man who didn't want to be fixed. Eric had to realize his low point and figure things out for himself.
Despite his jerk ways, she'd loved him. He wasn't the best person for her, and it took a lot of heartache and a moment where she finally stood up for herself to realize that.
It seemed Eric's ex-wife Cheyenne and her best friend Robin were willing to help Petra. Ever since the day Robin ran across her at the mall after Eric left in a storm of fury, they'd been very helpful and kind. Petra had found that odd, considering she didn't know either of them that well other than
seeing them when Eric went on one of his fits. Petra had always been the quiet one, and she had a feeling that they all wondered about her. Why did she stay? Why wouldn't she speak up for herself?
It was a good question, one she wasn't sure how to answer. Sometimes love, or maybe just lust, didn't make sense.
With the new year upon her, she made a vow to make a change. No going back to Eric. She needed to be the best mother she could be to Kinley, and she needed to learn a few things about herself to become a better person in general.
Eric Jensen would become a thing of the past.
Chapter One
Eric Jensen squinted in the bright sunlight and came to the realization that no one should ever have to bury a loved one two days after Thanksgiving. Really, no one should ever have to bury a loved one at all. But in life, it happens. Death happens. It's the way it goes.
When that death was an act of a handful of wrongdoings, it just made it worse.
Two years ago, Eric had been given an ultimatum by a punk kid. Well no, Jonas wasn't a punk kid. He was actually a good guy looking out for people he cared about. The very same people Eric should have cared more about. After some long, sleepless nights, he'd made a choice that would hopefully be better for people, and maybe at some point, for himself.
The man being buried today had become Eric's best friend. He'd never really had a best friend before. Now because Adrian fell back to his old ways after more than a year of keeping his anger in check, he'd gone and gotten himself killed.
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