Tis The Season For Forgiving

by Nikki Lynn Barrett

  Cheyenne got the message. Her expression softened. "Oh. Ouch. Never thought I'd say this, but poor guy."

  "Yeah, exactly. I think all of his past mistakes are hitting him hard. He stayed over last night because part of him was afraid he'd pick up a drink again."

  A shadow crossed Cheyenne's face, but she made no comment. "He did seem different last night."

  "He's very awkward right now, like he wants to try and talk but he can't find the words."

  "Eric never did have an easy time with talking." Cheyenne exchanged a look with her that only two exes would. They both knew the man's habits as they'd both been ones to try to help him before with no wins.

  Petra thought back to last night. "The difference now is I think he wants to."

  Chapter Four

  Eric wondered if he should have left a note with Petra before sneaking out of there this morning. Well, technically he wasn't sneaking away, but when the phone call came in early from Adrian's son he couldn't hide his relief that Petra wasn't awake yet.

  He went from one awkward situation to another. The little boy needed him, and Eric had no idea how to comfort the kid.

  Now, standing on the doorstep waiting for someone to answer the door, he wondered what the hell he was doing. He had no business being here.

  You made a promise to a little boy, that's what.

  Gina opened the door, but didn't seem surprised to see him. "Eric, I'm sorry. You didn't have to come all the way out here this morning. I didn't know Evan was going to call you."

  "It's okay. I did tell him he could."

  "I really appreciate this. I know he's struggling. I don't know what to do for him, or for myself sometimes." She sounded winded. "Come on inside."

  "Mr. Eric! You made it!" Evan bolted toward him with open arms and plowed against his body. "Thank you for coming."

  Not sure what else to do, Eric hugged him. "Told you I would." Maybe he shouldn't have said that. He couldn't find a better response.

  "Want some coffee? Something to eat? I'm about to fix breakfast." Gina stood in the kitchen doorway, watching the exchange between Eric and her son. Something reflected in her eyes that he wasn't sure what to make of.

  "You don't have to go to so much trouble on my account." Coffee and food did sound good though. He didn't eat before leaving Petra's and he hadn't stopped anywhere on the way here.

  "It's not any trouble, especially since you took time on your Sunday morning to come by here," Gina assured him.

  "Will you toss a ball around with me in the yard for a while?" Evan asked, picking up a football that had been sitting on the coffee table. He cradled the dirty ball under his arm and brushed his overgrown bangs away from his face with his free hand.

  Was this what he wanted today? Someone to throw a ball around with? Did Adrian do this with him often?

  "Uh, sure." Eric plastered a smile on his face, even though he felt uncomfortable. He wasn't used to people wanting to do something with him. Most times he kept to himself, especially the past two years.

  "Cool!" Evan's eyes lit up, and Eric knew then he'd made the right choice. "Come on!"

  As Eric passed by Evan's mother, she mouthed a thank you to him. There was relief in her eyes. "Breakfast will be ready in just a bit."

  Evan slid on his jacket and gloves. He walked in front of Eric, tossing the football up in the air and only catching it a few times. He whirled around and tossed the ball at Eric. "So, you were friends with my dad before he died? How come I never met you before?"

  He caught the ball, barely, then tossed it back. "I don't know why I never met you before. Your dad talked about you a lot, though." Adrian had been proud of his son. He'd had a lot of regrets about the anger issues that kept him away from his family for so long. Never did Eric doubt Adrian's love for his wife and son.

  "He used to be mad a lot." Evan caught the ball and immediately tossed it back. "He had to go to a special school for it. I hope I never get that mad. I don't want to go to another school."

  Eric missed the ball this time. He was too busy focusing on this boy who reminded him so much of Ben. Wise beyond his years. How he just accepted things but still wanted to understand.

  "Mr. Eric? Are you okay?" Evan's concern snapped him back to reality.

  This was Evan. Adrian's boy. Not Ben.

  Get your head on right!

  "I was just thinkin' about somebody." He bent to pick up the ball and tossed it back to Evan.

  "My dad?"

  "No, a little boy. He reminds me of you."

  Evan was about to say something, but Gina stood at the back door calling their names. "Breakfast is ready, you two."

  "I'm hungry! Come on Mr. Eric. Mom makes the best breakfast." The little boy's sadness faded a little bit as he ran toward the house, football and question forgotten.

  That suited Eric just fine. He didn't want to or even know how to explain to this child about Ben, the boy he'd given up his rights to because he couldn't be the father he needed.

  No, that wouldn't go over well at all.

  Gina had set the table for three. She sent Eric a small smile as she sat across from him.

  This was so strange. The last time he sat down to a meal with a family? Ahh, quite some time ago. Maybe once or twice with Petra before she'd had enough of his BS and moved out on her own.

  Evan kept up the conversation with his mom. Eric didn't have much to add, so he listened while he ate. His being here became less awkward, but he still didn't know what to do from here. It seemed like Evan needed someone to be here because he missed his father and wanted to do things like toss the ball around and talk.

  But this wasn't his place. Wasn't his family.

  How could he keep a promise to be there for a little boy when he wasn't there for any of his own kids? Two of them had someone new in their lives playing Daddy. Granted, Jacob was a much better father figure, and he'd never meant to sweep in and become the kids' father. It just happened. Damn it if it didn't hurt. Not like Eric would let anyone know, but seeing Ben and Desiree with Jacob so happy tore him the hell up.

  After breakfast, Gina made mention she needed to go to the store. As Eric was getting ready to leave, Gina was trying to start her car, and it wouldn't.

  He could just leave, let them deal with their problems, but instead he climbed out of the car and walked over. "Want a lift? I can take you to the store and then bring you back. Can't help you with your car though. I know nothing about them except how to drive."

  Gina's eyes were full of relief. She jumped out of the car and hugged him. "You're a lifesaver!" Then she gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

  Eric stepped away quickly after that. He hoped she wasn't getting the wrong idea.

  What the hell did he just get himself into?

  *****

  Petra's list of things to do today should not have included running to the store to buy new groceries, such as milk and anything else that went in a fridge. When the heck did the stupid thing stop working? Argh! It could have been since any time yesterday, and by the way the foods and milk looked and smelled, that had to have been the case.

  At least the fridge itself was fixed, thanks to a friend of Robin and Jonas. Now it was a matter of heading to the store to pick up some much needed items.

  On the way to the store, Kinley started asking for a Christmas tree.

  "Honey, it's a little too early for a tree." Petra tried to be patient. This could go one of two ways. Kinley would either accept it or not accept it. If she didn't ... hell have no fury like a three year old tantrum.

  "But I want to put sparkles on it!"

  "You still can. Just not yet." Petra kept her gaze on the road, though she peeked in the rear view to watch her daughter's reaction.

  So far, so good. Kinley was still in good spirits at the store when Petra settled her in the seat of the cart. She walked down the aisles and picked out a few non-perishable items before picking up things that went in the fridge.

  An all too fami
liar voice stopped her cold.

  Eric was here. And he wasn't by himself, either. He was with another woman and a little boy who looked to be a little younger than Ben.

  Who the hell were they?

  The most important question she had to ask herself was why the hell it hurt to see him with them. It shouldn't bother her. They weren't together, and there was no reason for them to be. So why did tears threaten to fall? Why did she turn the cart the other way? Kinley gave her away though when she noticed Eric and yelled "Daddy!"

  Eric turned around, along with the woman and child. The look on his face was one of ... guilt? "Petra. Kinley. Hey." His voice came out strangled.

  Well she was caught now. Damn. Did her expression give away what she was feeling? She did not want Eric to know she'd been-

  What had she been? Jealous? Upset?

  Something she didn't understand, that's for sure.

  Petra studied the woman. She looked worn out. There were bags under her eyes. She was watching her with curiosity as well.

  Who is she? A new girlfriend?

  Awkward.

  Then she remembered. This could be the widow and son of Eric's friend who died. No reason to be jealous.

  Jealous? What the hell? Okay, now she had to get her act together. This was Eric, for goodness sake!

  "I wanna twee, Daddy!" Kinley pleaded.

  Eric looked to Petra for help. Normally it frustrated her when he didn't step up, but she knew what Kinley was trying to do and it was a blindside to him.

  "We'll get a tree soon. I already told you that," she said gently.

  "How about I come by later and we'll see what we can do about your tree," Eric offered.

  "A twee?" Kinley clapped her hands.

  Petra sent him a look that said 'I hope you know what you're doing.' It was too darn early for a tree.

  "How about two hours from now?" he said to Petra.

  She shrugged. "Sure. I just have to get a few things, since my fridge decided to break on me and spoil things. I'll be home later."

  "Okay. See you then. How's your ankle?" He looked down at her feet.

  "Good as new." Almost, anyway. Other than a throbbing pain here and there, it was fine. "If you'll excuse me, I need to get to the milk." Then be on her merry way, still wondering why Eric would be shopping with another family.

  And why it bugged her so much. Ugh.

  Chapter Five

  Eric wasn't looking forward to the conversation he knew he'd have with Petra later. The look on her face was one of confusion and a tinge of jealousy. When Kinley yelled out his name and alerted him they were there, he did feel guilty, but then had to think back on that. Why? He wasn't doing anything wrong.

  His inner evil voice told him otherwise.

  You're focusing on another family when you never did enough to take care of yours.

  What a mess.

  Gina had been talkative up until they ran into Petra and Kinley. Now she hardly said a word. What did that mean? Did she think before that something was going on with the two of them?

  He never was one to understand women.

  All Eric knew was he was tired of the strange tension. He dropped them off at their house, helped carry in groceries, and was eager to get out of there as soon as possible. Even that made him feel a little bad, because Evan had enjoyed his company and was almost in tears when Eric piled back up in the car to leave.

  "Mr. Eric?"

  He turned around with keys in hand to face Evan. "Yeah?"

  "I didn't mean to take you from your family today. I just miss my dad and you were his friend."

  Sucker punch to the heart. Wow. What did he say to this? "I miss him, too. You can still call me any time. My family uh, understands." He hoped Petra would.

  "Okay. I don't want them to be mad at me. I just don't know what to do." Evan's shoulders sagged. "Mom's sad, too."

  "Evan! Come on in and help me put this stuff away please!" Gina called from the doorway.

  Evan hugged Eric before running off.

  There wasn't anything else to be said. Gina closed the door once Evan was inside. Eric drove off, wondering if he'd hear from them again. Part of him was okay either way, but that little boy was struggling.

  On the way to Petra's, Eric stopped at the store and picked up some supplies for his idea to give Kinley a tree early. This would be a good compromise, and even he was proud of his idea.

  Petra opened the door when he showed up and let him in. She didn't appear to be angry, but he couldn't tell what her mood was yet.

  The initial look on her face when he'd run into them at the store was one of hurt. That puzzled him a bit. Was it because he was with another woman? Well, not with her, but from Petra's side, she had no idea who Gina was or why he was with her. Or was it because he never bothered to do that kind of thing when they were together? Would Petra bring it up, or wait for him to say something?

  "What did you bring?" Her gaze landed on the bag he carried.

  He stepped inside. "A compromise for Kinley's tree."

  "I'm intrigued." She quirked up a brow. "I'd love to see how this plays out and what your idea is."

  "Daddy!" Kinley ran down the hall and stopped just before she got to him. "What you bwing?" Her gaze was curious.

  "You wanted a tree, but it's too early for a real tree. So we're going to create our own." Eric moved to the dining room table. As his daughter climbed up in her chair with excitement, he realized he still had a shot to make things right in her world.

  *****

  Watching Eric do a project with Kinley really made Petra nostalgic for family gatherings. These were things Eric never did before when they were together, and there were only a handful of times he did do them during his visits with Kinley a while ago.

  Something was changing with this man, and Petra had to admit, she liked it. Maybe he could be a good father to Kinley now. Too bad the changes were due to a loss. No one should have to go through that.

  They cut out circles in different colors to use as ornaments, and then Kinley used a glitter glue pen to make tinsel.

  They were both laughing and having a blast.

  This was what it was meant to be like, wasn't it?

  Why? Why did she have to have unresolved feelings for Eric that decided to resurface now? Why did he have to be so oddly nice and make her heart think something could ever work with them? He'd been a mess of a man. They never talked before or spent quality time together. But with this new version, there could be that chance.

  Damn it. She wanted to jump on the chance, but her beat-up heart from the past wanted her to halt.

  What am I getting so upset for? This isn't going to happen! There's no way it would work. Not with Eric.

  She shouldn't still have feelings for a man who'd done so much damage.

  But, he's changing. Anyone can see that.

  Were the changes for good? He'd done this before. Over and over again.

  Okay, enough already! Sheesh. Petra's inner thoughts needed to just stuff it right about now. She shook her head, then realized Eric and Kinley were both looking at her.

  "Well?" Eric asked.

  Well what? Oh damn, did he ask her something while she was totally spaced out? Ugh! Way to go, self!

  "Umm..."

  He laughed. "You didn't hear a word I asked, did you?"

  She wanted him to laugh like that again. "No," Petra admitted. Heat rushed to her face.

  "I asked where we should hang Kinley's tree. Her room or the living room? Or whatever you decide." He suddenly got a little shy at the last sentence, as if he didn't want to overstep or something.

  "Let her have it in her room. That way, when we do get a tree, she can have this one still. It looks really pretty!" Petra admired the paper tree that her daughter held proudly.

  "Daddy and I made a twee! It spawkles!"

  "Yes it does. I love it." Petra ruffled her daughter's hair. Then Kinley took off to her room. "Great idea. Thank you. I don't know how long
I could have put off not getting a tree without her having a fit."

  Eric shrugged. "It was a spur of the moment idea." Was he blushing? He looked away quickly.

  "Well it worked." Petra reached out to touch his arm. Eric's gaze shot back to her, his hazel eyes full of mystery.

  "Mommy! Daddy!" Kinley yelled from her doorway with loads of impatience. "Come on! I wanna put up my twee!"

  Petra stepped away from Eric and dropped her arm. He moved first, and she followed him to Kinley's room. Thank goodness for small distractions. Her mind was going to places she wasn't sure she liked.

  Like thinking about Eric that way again.

  "Put it by my bed!" Kinley laid the tree down on the bed and pointed gleefully at the empty wall beside it.

  Petra nodded. "That's the perfect place. Let me grab the tape." She brushed past Eric. For a split second, their hands connected, and her pulse immediately quickened.

  Not good, girl. You're starting to feel things for your ex who is not good at relationships. You're heartbreak bound. You told yourself two years ago that this was it.

  Petra grabbed a roll of tape from the kitchen miscellaneous drawer and headed back to Kinley's room. To her surprise, she was sitting on her bed next to Eric, and they were looking at a book together.

  He was becoming more comfortable around her. Petra didn't know why, but for a while, Eric never seemed comfortable around Kinley. Around any child for that matter, but it was always the girls he shied away from the most. He'd begun to bond with his daughter the past few months.

  She stood in the doorway, waiting for them to finish with the book. Eric was reading to her, while Kinley pointed at the pictures. When they both laughed, it melted her heart.

  Petra waited years for Eric to be the man she needed, and it never happened. She wasn't sure she could trust him, nor could she trust her heart. It was just nostalgia for things and wishful thinking, that's it.