The Fallen Queen: (Gods & Monsters Book 2) (The Gods & Monsters Trilogy)

by Janie Marie

  David crossed his arms and leaned his back against her door as he listened to her cry for Death. The doors may be soundproof, but he could hear her every sob and every plea she sent to her angel.

  He sighed, staring up at the ceiling. After a while, her cries stopped, and he figured she’d finally passed out.

  “If she chooses you, take her,” he whispered even though he knew Death had not come. His chest ached, but he continued speaking aloud. “If you can make her happy, take her.” He slid down to the floor and held his head. “But if you are going to let her down, stay the fuck away. Because if you’re not here when she wakes, I will not leave her side again. I’m done standing back. So come to her now or step aside.”

  David felt stupid for talking like this, but he was done. Not with Jane—never with Jane—but he was done being useless. He let her make her choices, and now he had made his.

  Jane squeezed her eyes shut tighter when the sun’s rays peeked through her curtains. A cold feathery caress swept across her cheek as she relaxed back in her cool cocoon. There were no dreams or nightmares, just nothing.

  Her body and mind felt completely anesthetized. She wasn’t thinking about what happened last night or her constant urge to be with David. The desperate need for Death was gone as well. She was detached from wanting all that she held close to her heart. All she did want was to stay in her neutral state. No pain. No worries—just there.

  It wasn’t better than being in David or Death’s arms. They simply didn’t matter while she was like this. Everything seemed better without actually being any different.

  The frozen cocoon wrapped tighter around her body, and an icy sensation brushed her cheek. Then, suddenly, it vanished.

  Jane opened her eyes wide. The numbness was gone. All the pain and sorrow clawed at her mind with a vengeance. Her horrible memories from the night before crashed into her with the force of a freight train.

  She pressed her hands against her chest as tears pooled in her eyes. She had attacked Nathan. She had pushed David away again, and she had been willing to let Death take her.

  Everything was her fault. The fact she was alive, the fact her children were in danger, the fact David was miserable—it was all her fault. Jane swallowed her cry and sat up, roughly wiping her tears.

  She briefly took in the pretty room. It was nowhere near the size of her family’s—closer to a modest hotel room. It was just one room with cream walls and had matching turquoise fabric on her bed as well as the curtains.

  Jane pressed her palm against her throbbing chest and stopped her observations. She needed to find David and make sure everyone was all right.

  She walked to the door but hesitated to open it, pressing her ear to the cold wood so she could listen. Someone was out there. She couldn’t hear much, but she sensed a presence there.

  Jane wiped her wet cheeks again, then turned the crystal knob. She only opened it a crack and sighed as soon as she saw David slumped against the doorframe, fast asleep.

  Her panic and heartache came to a peaceful halt. Even in his sleep, and in need of a shower just like she was, David was still so incredibly handsome.

  He had his back against her doorframe with his long, muscular legs sprawled out in front of him. His arms were crossed, and his head was slightly cocked to the side like a little boy who had fallen asleep on a car ride.

  A small, sad smile formed on her lips. She couldn’t help it; David made her feel better. Not in the way Death or her children did, but just better.

  A tear quickly fell, but she wiped it away as she tried to figure out what to do. What she needed was not the same as what she wanted. What she wanted was to crawl onto David’s lap and never let him go. He hadn’t let her down like Jason had. He didn’t make promises he couldn’t keep, unlike Death.

  Death didn’t love you enough to come last night . . . But David stayed.

  Her head bobbed as she agreed with that thought. David did stay. He made sure she didn’t hurt anyone and guarded them all throughout the night.

  She searched his face and saw how tired he looked. Her heart beat a little faster because it was likely that he stayed there all night. He could have left, but he didn’t. He told her not to assume he was like other men, and she was realizing there was no man out there like David.

  Jane crouched down and observed the dark circles under his eyes. He fed her even though he was still recovering from blood loss. She felt like such a fool for running away from him when he offered to feed her before, but she wasn’t an idiot; she knew she acted inappropriately when she fed from him. Still, she should’ve listened to him. After all, they could have excused themselves so she could go feed. He would have likely fed after and wouldn’t be in the state he was in now. Most of all, if she had listened, she wouldn’t have nearly killed Nathan.

  She looked toward the hall where her family stayed. There was no way she could go to them any time soon. They must be terrified of her, and Jason probably hated her more than ever.

  Jane turned back to David. He didn’t hate her, even when she showed him her worst. She smiled sadly and reached out to touch his face. He immediately woke up and covered her hand with his, but he looked disoriented.

  “Shh, everything is fine,” she whispered.

  David checked her over quickly. Jane knew he was searching for injuries, and she smiled again.

  “Come on, David. You need to sleep in your own bed.” She stood, holding out her hand.

  David took it but mumbled sleepily to her once he stood up. “I’m fine, sweetheart. You can go back to bed.”

  She grinned at how cute he sounded and tugged him toward his room. “I’m fine, but you definitely need to get in bed.”

  He seemed more alert and followed her without further protest.

  After they were inside, she looked around. It was identical to her room, but it smelled like him. Heaven. Jane took a deep breath as she led him to the bed. As she turned and looked up at him, she blushed. He had that look in his eye that made her insides get all tingly.

  “Jane, are you sure you’re all right?”

  She smiled when he lifted a hand to her cheek. “I’m sad about what I did, or almost did.”

  “I checked on Nathan. He was perfectly fine. Arthur said he seemed more worried for you than afraid.”

  Jane sniffed, nodding. “I’m sorry for yelling at you last night. I don’t want you to go away.”

  He smiled brightly. “I’ll never leave you. Even when you tell me to go away, and I give you some space, I am there. I promise.”

  “I know you’re here.” She leaned into his hand. “I just don’t want to hurt you or anyone else.”

  He shook his head. “I only hurt when you are in pain. I will keep the others safe for you.”

  “But they’re in danger because of me. What if I left? Maybe that’s the only way—”

  “If you left, that would ruin me like you keep believing you will. It would hurt your children, too. I know you worry about not returning my feelings, but I need you in my life. You’re my baby.”

  “I need you in my life, too,” she croaked. She still refused to believe she might love David, but she knew she needed him. It might be selfish to need him, but she didn’t care anymore. Her love for Death and Jason was still there, but David was special.

  David let go of her face and hugged her. “You have me. I promise we will figure everything out.” He rubbed her back as Jane wrapped her arms around his waist. “I will always be here, okay?” He held one hand to her head as she nodded against his chest. “I’ll find a way for you to safely be around your family.”

  “How? I’ll hurt them. And I always do stupid things like not feeding when I’m supposed to.”

  “I told you we made mistakes last night. We will be more cautious, but we must agree to work together. You need to trust me. No more believing you have to do it all alone.”

  Jane pulled out of the hug. “I don’t want to burden you, David.”

  He sighed and
moved some hair behind her ear. “When will you see I cherish every moment I spend with you?”

  She looked away to hide her smile. “Quit being perfect.”

  He sat on his bed. “Am I perfect enough for you to stop pushing me away?”

  Jane bit her lip and tensed when he placed one hand on her waist. “I think it’s my nature to push away the people I care about.”

  A sad look flitted across his face, but he smiled and said, “It’s my nature to hold the woman I love.”

  Jane stared at his handsome face as she debated her options.

  Maybe it’s better to just be with him…

  It was an irresistible thought to consider. Jane held his gaze as he watched her with a worried look. Why couldn’t she have him? Maybe she could be happy just once.

  You deserve to be happy.

  When Jane stared into David’s eyes, she still held onto her thought that maybe she should stay away to keep him safe, to keep from hurting him and ruining his chance at happiness. She didn’t want to get his hopes up because she didn’t know what to do about Jason or Death. Keeping her family together, and giving her children a mom and dad was so important. Her happiness could be set aside for them. It was the right thing to do. But—

  David loves you more than Jason ever will. Maybe even Death.

  She began to panic. She didn’t want to hurt David, but she didn’t want to betray anyone.

  Don’t you want to see what it’s like to be loved completely? Don’t you want to see what it’s like when someone stands by you?

  Yes, she thought quickly.

  Choose David.

  “Jane?”

  She looked up, confused by her thoughts. It would be so easy to listen to them. Normally her mind argued with her about David, but now it was encouraging her to give into her desire. She had tried so hard to not accept him because she knew once she did, there would be no going back. She would have to break apart her family, and she’d have to end her love with Death.

  David was still waiting, and he was looking more tired by the second. She felt awful for forgetting he needed sleep.

  “Lie down, David.”

  David rubbed his face. She knew he would argue with her, so she smiled and bent down to untie his boots.

  He chuckled. “I can take off my boots.”

  She grinned because she could hear the smile in his voice. “Let me take care of you for once.

  When she looked up at him, she knew he could see the hopeful look on her face. She really did want to take care of him.

  “Thank you, sweetheart.”

  Jane beamed up at him, happy to have him pleased with her. It was rare to have someone happy because she’d done something she wanted to, or enjoyed.

  She finished with his boots and pulled them off. For some stupid reason, she felt like she’d accomplished something great by the small act. “Okay, get some sleep.” She pushed on his shoulders. The feel of his muscles under her fingers made it hard to not blush, and he wore a faint smirk across his face as he lay down.

  Jane noticed his legs were still off to the side and quickly lifted them onto the bed.

  “Jane, stop.” He laughed. “I am capable of getting into bed.”

  “Shh . . . What did I say?”

  His smile made her tummy tense, and she breathed faster when he grabbed her hand. “That you wanted to take care of me.”

  She pulled her hand out of his and gestured for him to situate himself better. He followed her silent order, scooting until his head was on his pillow. As she fixed the blankets, she began to feel like a moron. Of course she still wanted to take care of him, but he was a grown man, and she was treating him like a toddler.

  Their eyes met when she leaned over and brushed his hair back. “Get some sleep, David.”

  “Where are you going?” he asked before he touched her cheek. “And stop frowning. Your smile is what I like to see before I fall asleep.”

  The heat from his hand made her skin hotter than it normally was in his presence. “I just want you to sleep. Don’t do this to yourself again, okay? I don’t want you to suffer because of me.”

  “Don’t worry about me. I don’t want you to go anywhere, though. I can rest later.”

  “No, David. Please sleep,” she begged. “You look so tired.”

  He began to sit up. “Jane, I don’t want you by yourself.”

  Of course he didn’t want her alone; she might attack the entire castle. It annoyed her, but she couldn’t fault him for wanting to keep others safe from her.

  Stay with him.

  Her head bobbed along with her thought. “Okay, how about I sit here while you sleep?”

  He smirked at her offer. “You want to watch me sleep?”

  She huffed. “Not really.”

  “Then what do you want to do?”

  Jane shrugged and situated herself against his headboard. “Go to sleep, David.”

  He grabbed her hand and closed his eyes.

  Jane studied their hands and smiled when he linked their fingers together. “Are you making sure I don’t leave?”

  David squeezed her hand gently. “Maybe. You are sneaky when you want to be.”

  A giggle slipped out of her mouth. “I won’t leave, I promise.”

  He tightened his grip. “Mhm.”

  “And I’m not sneaky.”

  “Okay, baby.”

  She sighed then shivered as a chill suddenly crawled up her spine. Jane instantly thought the air conditioner had switched on, and she glanced around to locate the vent. Her eyes felt so heavy, though. She blinked to try and shake off her sudden drowsiness, but it only got worse.

  “Are you all right?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine, just a little sleepy.” She yawned softly. “I don’t know why I’m so tired now.”

  Another chill swept across her arms, making her shiver again. David let go of her hand and rolled on his side. He began rubbing his hand up and down her arm before he pushed up her sleeve to rub directly on her skin. It felt wonderful.

  “Your skin feels like ice.”

  “I’m fine.” Fatigue washed over her again, along with another involuntary shudder, and now she was struggling to keep her eyes open.

  David sat up quickly, and she looked over at him when he began to uncover himself.

  Jane immediately scolded him. “David, what are you doing?”

  He ignored her and slid a hand under her legs as the other went behind her neck. She tried to wiggle out of his hold, not that she really wanted to, but he gripped her tighter.

  “David!” She was embarrassed by how screechy her voice sounded.

  He just chuckled and carefully laid her down on his pillow. Jane tried to sit up, but he easily pushed her back down by the shoulder. She glared up at him but wasn’t upset at all by the position he had her in.

  A serious look came over his face as he leaned over her. “You are sleepy and cold. I’m tired, and I’m not letting you out of my sight.” Her head spun from the closeness of him and his wonderful smell. He continued speaking. “We are going to take a nap together.”

  She tried to speak, but he cut her off.

  “No arguing with me, Jane.”

  It’s okay, that persuading thought returned. It’s only a nap. You’ve slept together before.

  She stared into his eyes and savored the heat his body offered her cold one. “You’re so hot,” she blurted, widening her eyes when she realized what she just said.

  He smiled, amused, and chuckled. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

  She looked at him humiliated and sputtered as she spoke, “I mean, your body is hot. Crap! I mean, you make me hot. Oh my God!” She groaned and covered her face with her hand.

  He laughed and pulled her hand away from her face. “Baby, don’t be embarrassed.”

  She turned her red face away.

  “Jane?” There was no attempt from him to hide his amusement with her idiocy.

  She finally grew some courage to look at him. “I m
eant your skin is hot.”

  He smiled. “I know what you meant.”

  “Why is it like that?” She had never felt anything like it with any other person before.

  David lay back down and rolled on his side to face her. “Why is my skin hot?”

  Jane nodded.

  “I am not sure if I should tell you.”

  “What? Why?”

  “It’s somewhat sexual.”

  “Oh,” she said softly.

  “Not all of it is sexual,” he quickly added. “I feel this way to you because I was made for you. My heat comforts and soothes you. Your touch does the same for me. The sexual part is because that is what stimulates you, I suppose. I did not know I felt hot to you, though.”

  “I normally hate the heat. It’s really hot and humid in Texas. I actually used to get sick from being outside too long.”

  “That is interesting.” He grinned. “Perhaps you will grow sick of me.”

  “I doubt it.” Jane blushed and looked away from his satisfied expression. “What do I feel like to you?”

  “You really want to know?”

  She swallowed and turned back as she nodded. Even though it was wrong, she hoped he felt something similar.

  “Be still.” David slowly reached for the zipper on the hoodie she wore. He kept eye contact with her as he slid it down, and Jane’s heart threatened to burst from her chest. After he had it unzipped, he reached up to pull it off her arm.

  He watched his fingers trailing up her arm as he spoke. “You feel incredibly smooth and soft. You’re cold right now, but normally you are the perfect warmth.” He paused and continued watching his hand slide back down. She had to bite her lip to keep from moaning. “I can feel you getting warmer.” His deep voice and the way he looked at her did too many things to her. “You feel perfect. You are all I want to feel.”

  “Really?” She was completely breathless.

  David nodded and grabbed her hand again, linking their fingers. “Really.”

  Oh, dear God. She wanted nothing more than to kiss him, but her mind raced over everything. She thought of Jason and how he would be if he found her like this with David. She thought of Nathan and Natalie, how confused they would be to watch her without their dad. Then she thought of Death.