by Janie Marie
“You will watch them suffer,” her demon said, laughing as the sad girl tried to stand again. She was bleeding, her chest clawed open, her precious heart damaged and exposed.
Jane curled into a ball as she pressed her hands against her chest. She gasped, trying to breathe as her heart beat wildly out of control. “Please,” she whispered to the sad girl. “Please hold her.”
Before the sad girl could respond, Jane froze. She held her breath, shivering from an icy caress on her cheek. She knew what it was—who it was.
Her demon hissed, but she froze as well when the chill seeped inside her body.
Jane watched the sad girl tighten her grip on the demon, but she sobbed, knowing what was happening. Still, Jane and the sad girl stayed silent as they were soothed by the numbing cold that paralyzed their demon. “Thank you,” they whispered together.
A wintry kiss brushed the corner of her mouth, and she closed her eyes, accepting the cold embrace as it hugged her weak body. The cold wrapped around her tighter. It kissed her cheek and neck before a freezing jolt shot through her chest.
Jane tried to move, but another kiss brushed her skin, as if promising it was okay. She nodded, trusting him.
Another kiss was pressed on her neck, and a second jolt shot through her chest. She sobbed, relieved when her demon collapsed. She wasn’t dead, but she was subdued in a way Jane had never felt before. For once, she wasn’t fighting her. For once, she wasn’t hearing or seeing awful things, or fearing what her demon would unleash. The war within had halted.
“Thank you,” she murmured.
It held her tighter, rewarding her with a peaceful drowsiness. “You’re welcome.” Icy lips pressed against the very corner of her mouth before resting at the back of her head. “Rest now.”
Another tear escaped, but she and the sad girl closed their eyes together as a peace she’d never experienced before blanketed her soul.
Waking up with her head resting on a cool pillow shouldn’t have been disturbing to Jane, but it was. She’d fallen asleep on the cold floor of her bathroom, which meant someone had carried her to bed. She didn’t make any move to get up and simply stared into the darkness, shifting her gaze around the quiet room.
“I know you’re there,” she whispered before she was quickly greeted with a cold caress on her cheek. A tear slipped free, but she wasn’t afraid. She was only heartbroken for what she had done—for what she knew she was about to do.
Another tear slid across her nose, and she closed her eyes as the chilly sensation spread across her face, soothing her swollen eyes. It was numbing but still leaving her the ability to think and stay awake.
“Will you show yourself?” she asked, sighing as the chill touched her lips. “I’m not afraid.” She sucked in a breath when a pale hand suddenly appeared inches from her face. The owner of that hand—Lucifer—stayed silent as they watched one another. He was kneeling beside her bed, his gray eyes following the tears she still shed.
Jane had no fear of the angel before her. It shouldn’t be that way, she knew. She was aware he might have been tormenting her all this time, but she wasn’t quite sure how or when. For now, all she could focus on was that he had come when she was about to lose her fight. He’d done something even Death had failed to. He had stopped her demon.
“I won’t hurt you,” he said, moving his piercing gaze to hers. He wiped her tears carefully from under her eyes, not showing irritation when she shed more.
“I know. I trust you.” There was just something about him. Even during their first encounter, she’d felt the urge to trust him. It didn’t make sense, but she had to find out what he could do for her. After all, he was the only one who had truly stopped the pain. He was the one who had offered to take her away, to keep her from feeling and from hurting everyone.
He smiled, a beautiful smile. It reminded her of Death, which caused a pang in her heart. If she hadn’t pushed Death away, she wondered if it would be him comforting her instead of Lucifer. No, she couldn’t let Death come back. Even he admitted her demon could restrain him in the mortal realm. Lucifer was her only hope.
He rubbed his thumb across her trembling lips. “This would not have happened had you come to me before. I promised to make it all stop for you.”
“I know.” She whimpered, closing her eyes as his cold hands cooled her heated skin. “I tried to come, but I was stopped. Did you send Thanatos and Mania to attack me?”
A flash of silver lit up his eyes. “No. I was waiting for you where I said I would be. By the time I learned of their attack, Death had already rescued you.”
She suddenly remembered how far gone she had been that time. She’d shut off, and Lucifer had helped keep her numb to everything. “Are you only able to numb me?”
“Only if you wish to be. You have changed since the last time we spoke. That was a defense your mind created to protect you from her. However, if you wish it, I can help numb you as much as you desire.”
Jane shook her head. “I don’t want to be numb. I just don’t want her to hurt them. I don’t care what happens to me.”
He stayed quiet for a moment. “As I said before, I can take you with me, and you will not have to fear hurting them. You just have to trust me.”
“You can stop her?” she asked, studying his emotionless stare. “Like you did last night?”
“Last night I stunned her. She will awake soon, and she will be furious.”
“But you could do it again? Could you keep her from hurting anyone else?”
“I can paralyze her like she is now, as often as needed, but it will begin to tear you apart. However, if you give yourself to me—completely—I will gain absolute control without harming you.”
She stared at him, her eyes wide and her breathing heavier. “Give myself to you?”
He slid a finger down her jaw. “This is why it will take time, Jane. It’s why I wanted you to come to me before. She wants me with you—she calls to me. Even now, I can feel her inside you, but I need you to want me as well. All she wants is to destroy you, but she worries about her own survival since you are so willing to die for everyone around you. She is uncertain of her ability to keep your body alive without simply imprisoning you inside her.”
“She wants me to be a living host to her while she gains control? So, I wouldn’t die—I would be in the dark again?”
He nodded, his gaze fixed on her mouth. “Unless I control her for you, she can do as she likes if you surrender.”
“What if I hang on?”
His gaze slowly fell over her face. “You can’t destroy her, Jane. You would continue to fight and continue to pose a threat to those you love.” He touched her temple. “She will continue tormenting you with your worst fears and memories. The decision is yours: fight her on your own and risk failing, or you can accept my help. I can give you what David and Death cannot.”
Jane looked away from his calming gaze, once again realizing there was no pain, no fighting with her own mind, no threats. Not even a whisper. Nothing. “I can’t hear or feel her.” She looked back into his eyes and found him smiling. “If I give myself to you, you can make this last?”
“Yes, she will bend to my will once you become mine. Right now, she is more or less asleep. I can keep her that way or simply lock her in darkness as she has done to you before. I can keep her from accessing your thoughts or memories, anything you would like me to do. You simply need to accept me and agree to be mine in every way. It has to be genuine on your part, so until then, you must allow me to feed her. This will strengthen your commitment to me and eventually grant me absolute control over her.”
Jane bit her lip as she tried to think. There was only silence. Even the sad girl seemed far too quiet. “The girl inside.” She looked back at him. “The one who cries. What about her?”
His lip twitched. “She is you. Your soul, to be precise.”
Her mouth fell open, and she watched as he touched the center of her chest—the same place Death often foc
used. “She’s my soul?”
Lucifer nodded as a warm silver glow lit under his hand hovering over her chest. “She is lovely—just like you. So innocent despite all you have suffered together.”
Jane watched the light from his hand pulsing, and she finally saw her soul. She was asleep. No, she was wounded, and Lucifer’s silver light was pulsing over her torn chest. “What are you doing to her?”
“Healing her injuries. Just as you have fallen during your battles, so has she. This last one nearly destroyed her. That is why I stepped in.”
She put her hand over his, smiling as a stream of silver light wrapped around her wrist. “It’s warm.”
“Light often is,” he said, taking her hand, holding it over her chest as more light entered her body. “Breathe. I am almost done.”
She obeyed, breathing slowly as she looked between their hands and his face. He was pale like her, but his skin was flawless, whereas she was riddled with scars.
He definitely had the bad guy look about him with his slicked back hair and pristine white suit, but he was truly beautiful. She kept watching his face. Sometimes he resembled Death, especially when all emotion was absent from his face. A part of her wished he were Death playing a trick on her by pretending to be Lucifer, just to be near her, but then he’d look at her with those silver eyes, and she knew she was not looking at the same angel.
“She is strong,” he said as the light dimmed. “When the other wakes, she will as well, and they will resume their battle inside you.”
“You don’t think she’s strong enough?”
He inspected her scars without any sign of emotion. “They have different strengths. It simply depends on which choice you make. If you choose to isolate yourself because you fear for the others, I believe you will grow weak and have no chance to distance yourself before she wins. Your heart and soul are attached to the two men in your life, as well as your children. Your emotions give you strength but they are also a weakness. Do you want to risk their lives because you cannot control your emotions when tragedy strikes?”
Jane quickly shook her head. “I tried once. I can’t put faith in myself after watching myself fall so low. And I don’t think Death or David would be very happy about it, if I asked for you to help.”
A faint smirk teased his lips. “Unfortunately, if you stay, I cannot. So, you would be on your own, and neither Death nor David can give you what I can.”
“I see,” she said, watching as he slid his fingers over her forearm. Some of the scarring had actually gone away after she melted her skin off, but she was still marked from the silver. “Can you help me control the power she has?”
He sighed, withdrawing his hand. “No. I can, however, force her to aid you. She can teach you, or you can learn on your own as you have been. With my help, you will have peace and safety instead of fear over what your powers might cause to happen. Do you want me to give you this?”
“I want to keep them safe. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to keep them safe, but I’m afraid of being bad.”
“Do you see me as bad?” He tore his gaze away from her mouth, his expression still blank.
“No,” she said. “I don’t know what I really think. I want to trust you, but I have no idea why, or why you are even offering to help. What do you mean by giving myself to you?”
“I want you. Just you.” He caressed her cheek. “You are so fragile, yet you are destined for greatness. I want you by my side. I want you to be my queen.”
Jane leaned away. “Your queen? Like marry you?”
“Not in the sense of a husband and wife, no. You would be my equal, ruling at my side.”
“Ruling Hell?”
He shrugged. “Wherever you like. The choice is yours, as long as you accept me in every way.”
Jane looked at the ceiling for a long time as she tried to focus. Her mind wasn’t shifting through a million things like it normally did, but she was still confused. It was too quiet. Peaceful, but she no longer had the side that questioned and analyzed every little thing. “Do I have to have sex with you?”
“When you are ready. I won’t take your body until you offer it to me. It would be best that we do soon, though. The act would make it impossible for her to ever break my control. Essentially, giving yourself willingly would be giving me all of you.”
She glanced at him, again seeing a resemblance to Death in his stunning features. His high cheekbones and defined jawline and mesmerizing gaze. “I offered myself to Death to save Jason.”
His expression didn’t change. “I know. I can see your memories when I look into your eyes. I know everything.”
Jane closed her eyes and turned away, her lip trembling as she remembered what she’d done to Death and David. She would be betraying them in the greatest way if she took Lucifer’s offer.
But they’ll be safe. Everyone will be safe, she told herself.
“You will not be my whore, Jane,” he said, tracing his fingers over her lips. “They have had many. I admire your knight’s moral values now, but he was no saint. His count of lovers as a mortal is more than your sweet heart can bear to hear. He knows this, so he has not told you everything about his past. I fear it would devastate you to know the truth.”
“Please don’t say anymore,” she said, crying suddenly. She knew David wasn’t a virgin, but she was so hurt by what Death had done that she feared David doing the same. All she could think of was how she did not give David the release he needed, and she knew what men did without release. A stabbing pain pierced her heart. “Ow.”
“Shh . . .” He leaned over her, nudging her nose with his.
Jane opened her eyes and held her breath as he leaned closer.
“Let me help,” he said, pressing a chilly kiss to the corner of her mouth. The ice seeped in quickly, racing to her heart, numbing the pain instantly. “There,” he whispered, holding her cheek as she sighed. “I will not hurt you as Death has. I’ll be with you when you need me. I’ll make myself known to you, not watch you suffer then leave to distract myself with another. If you are threatened, I will destroy the threat. If you are wounded, I will care for you myself. If you bleed, I will bathe in the blood of the one who harmed you.”
Her tears still came as she sobbed. “But David has been there for me.”
“Has he?” His fingers tightened on her face. “Did he protect you from these beasts who marked you? Did he not leave you vulnerable to attack to save another woman?” He rubbed her trembling lip. “Did he not turn on you, leaving you to suffer because he feared your demon? Did he not call you evil and then allow a truly evil seductress to go free?”
Jane didn’t want to think badly of David. She knew Lucifer wanted her for something more, and he would hit her where it hurt most. The sad thing was he was speaking the truth. Even if David gave some explanation for his actions and words, he still allowed her to suffer, just as Death had. And he still let Melody go.
“They should have never hurt you like this,” Lucifer whispered, tracing her lips again. “I promise to stay with you always. I know that saddens you—feeling abandoned. You will never have to wonder where I am. I will stay under my veil for all others, but you will feel and hear me. Until you decide, I’ll stay by your side. I will give your demon what she wants so she does not hurt them.”
“How long do I have to decide?”
“Only days. As I said, your body and soul will not withstand my attacks for long. She has a huge appetite for blood and lust. I can satisfy some of her lust unless you ask me to do more. Blood is only something I can provide you from donors, which I have plenty. Still, she will push you to be with David or another because she craves a man’s touch. She craved Lancelot because of the vile things you watched him do. She is drawn to darkness, but she will take from David because she knows it will hurt you.”
Her eyes watered. She knew her demon desired David’s blood more than others, but she couldn’t bear the thought of him with her demon. “You said I wouldn’t ha
ve to have sex with you until I was ready. How will you satisfy her lust?”
“I can touch you under my veil. Where you are touched, so is she. This will distract her while you make up your mind and learn to trust me. Remember, I will only gain full control once you give all to me.”
She turned her face away and cried. She couldn’t do this to David again, but this was the only way. She’d already decided to let him go. If Lucifer was the only one who could control her demon, she had to follow him. “Swear to me they will be safe from her. I don’t care what you do to me, but I need to have your word. You’ll stop her, even if that means killing me.”
“Do not be afraid,” he whispered, moving the hair from her neck and pressing his lips against her rapid pulse. “Do you know I am already inside you?”
She nodded, remembering how Death’s bargain put her in the middle of their game with her as its trophy.
“That was more than a wager I made with Death. That night I vowed to make you my queen. I cherish my queen. If she desires her loved ones kept safe from her demon, she will have it.”
“Even if you have to kill me?” She turned her face to his, shivering as his cold breath kissed her lips.
“Yes.” He stared into her eyes. “Even if I have to drain every last drop of blood from your veins, I will keep her from harming those you love.”
A sob got lodged in her throat, so she just nodded.
“Shh, close your eyes,” he said, and when she did, his cold lips pressed against hers.
Jane cried but didn’t move away, and he didn’t deepen the kiss. “This tames her.” He kissed across her cheek and down her jaw. When he reached her neck, he nipped her skin before sucking it, and she felt it all the way to her core. She gasped, pressing her legs together as she began to ache for more.
He smirked against her skin. “She’s waking.”
Jane could only feel the intense sensation growing inside her body. It wasn’t her own lust, it was her demon, and the bitch knew Lucifer was there. “I don’t know what to do.”