by Janie Marie
“No, we’re not!”
He shook his head. “You always feared I would walk away from you, but it’s you walking away.”
“I left to save Jason!” She didn’t like him reminding her this was her fault. She knew it was, but it hurt to have it thrown in her face. “And I’m leaving now so you and everyone else can be safe.”
“I know why you left. I wish you hadn’t, but I understand why you took such drastic measures. Baby, I didn’t want him to die either, but it isn’t up to us to decide who lives or dies.”
“Yeah, Death does.” She glared at the table. “I wasn’t good enough for the deal, though.”
David sighed, grabbing his fork. “Eat. And stop saying you are not good enough. You know you are everything to me. And Death. That bastard has no one but you.”
Tears blurred the sight of her plate. “He has someone. He fucked her when I needed him.”
David was quiet for a few seconds. “So you’re upset he has another woman? When you have me?”
“Tell him yes,” Lucifer whispered. “It will help him let you go.”
“Yes,” she said, watching her tears fall into her food.
“Do you care for my feelings at all? Or are you intentionally trying to hurt me so I will yell and tell you to leave?”
“You can’t help me, David,” Jane whispered, wiping her face.
“That’s not what I asked.”
Her heart hammered in her chest. “I care about you staying alive! I care about not ripping your heart out when I finally lose. And, yes, I care that Death chose to leave me when Jason did what he did to me. It fucking hurts! Just like Jason, I wasn’t enough for him, so he went to please himself with another woman. At least Jason stuck to online women, that I know of, but to have Death admit he enjoyed fucking her, that he came multiple times while I was in my own personal Hell, it destroyed me. Okay, it destroyed me. Because I fucking love him, just as much as I love you. I’m sorry about that, but I loved him before I ever met you, and I can’t stop. Even hating him as much as I do for hurting me, I can’t stop. And I hate myself for that. I hate that I can’t give you what you give me. I hate that I still need him, so I won’t have either of you.”
“You don’t have to give him up, Jane.” He put his fork down, glancing around the room slowly. “I just don’t want you fucking him, but I know you’re going to love him until the end of time. I see there is something incredible that you two share, but I am the one who decides if I want to put myself through watching it. And I choose you, Death, your demon—and two kids who are not mine—I choose all of it because I love you.”
“Stop being perfect,” she cried, covering her eyes. “Why can’t you just hate me like a normal person? I freaking took off my clothes and gave myself to him, and you’re acting like it’s fine.”
“It’s not fine. I beat the shit out of him when he told me about it, mainly because he told me what he did to you after refusing you. I know he let me because he felt he deserved it, and he did, but I’m not saying it’s okay. I’m saying I love you and we can work through it. I know there is something awful inside you; that isn’t a new development, but I have faith we can manage it until we find a way to get her out of you.”
“You can’t help me! Why can’t you see that? Even Death can’t touch her. I’m meant to be this way, and you are not. Just give me the fucking chance to save you so I don’t wind up holding my babies’ dead bodies, or yours. That’s all I’m asking. I don’t expect you to remain faithful. I know this thing in me wants to fuck every asshole she sees, and I’m afraid of what she’s going to do when I finally lose against her for good. I don’t want you to forgive me. I want to fucking rot. I don’t deserve you or anything good. I want to die.”
Lucifer rubbed her leg soothingly, but he stayed quiet.
“I know she is probably the darkest creature I have ever encountered, my love, but she is not you. Any act she performs is not your doing. I don’t expect you to win every battle against her.”
“So, say Lucifer or a demon came . . .” She ignored how Lucifer tightened his hold on her leg, and she glared at David. “Say, one of them came to me, said he could keep you all safe, but I had to go with him. Say he was the only one who could tame her, could keep her from tormenting me, would you be okay with that?”
“No. You’re not leaving with anyone else. If Death has to take you to keep you from harming the children, fine, but you’re not going to sacrifice yourself to save everyone, especially to Lucifer.”
Lucifer chuckled but still said nothing.
“You don’t know what it’s like,” she said, pulling her hair. “You don’t know what it’s like to see you all dead in your head, to hear her threats, to feel her attack your soul. It hurts. All the time!
“Baby, I have been fighting evil beings for centuries. I have seen countless innocent women and children dead because I didn’t get there soon enough. I have seen babies torn to pieces because I was one man among hundreds. I know the burden.”
“You’re not the one who would tear them apart, David. I see myself doing it! I see myself bleeding you dry and eating your heart. I see my babies with their throats ripped out because I did it.”
“We will stop you. There has to be a reason for all this, but you and I are meant to be together.”
“Why? Because Michael told you that? What if he didn’t give you the entire message?”
“Which would be what, Jane?” David asked, staring into her eyes. “And he didn’t tell me Jane Mortaime was the woman I should look out for. I saw you, and I knew. My heart knew you were the woman I’ve been dreaming of. So what message would he have left out?”
“Maybe that you’re supposed to kill me.”
“I’m not supposed to kill you, baby.” He laughed sadly. “I would never harm you.”
“So how would you stop me from attacking you or my children?”
He leaned back in the chair. “I don’t know. And how are you going to stop this? Besides talking to yourself, you seem fine.”
She was taken aback by his words. “Are you saying I’m crazy?”
“No. I know you’re hiding something. You are either talking to your demon or someone else. So I want to know why you so certain your way will keep everyone safe. I know you wouldn’t be here unless you had faith in some plan. So, who or what is helping you maintain control?”
“Stay calm,” Lucifer said, still rubbing her leg.
“Leave it, David. You wouldn’t understand.”
David tapped his knuckles on the table, glancing around again. “Someone is talking to you. And I don’t think it’s your demon. I think you’ve jumped to someone who has fed you lies to make you believe pushing me away is your only chance to save us.” He stared into her eyes. “Is it Lucifer? Because you have to know he is not here to help you.”
“There’s no one here!” She breathed faster. “I was talking to her. I’m losing to her, okay? I am trying to fight her, but she is going to win. So just forget me. I want you to forget me.”
“Well, that’s not happening. You are my world, and I won’t let you go. I don’t believe you, but I still love you.”
“Please don’t love me,” she said, her voice cracking.
“Don’t even ask that of me. And if you think this is your way of not hurting me, or whatever thought process is happening in your head, you’re wrong. This is the only way anyone can hurt me. Losing you is the greatest pain I could ever receive, and you are the one doing it.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, closing her eyes and hoping she was only dreaming.
“Don’t be. I’m not angry with you. I’m angry that I can’t help you—that you won’t let me help. I know I cannot just fix you, but—”
“You weren’t meant to fix me, David,” she interrupted him, staring into his eyes and watching his irritation flare. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I don’t even understand it all, just leave me alone. It’s too late.”
“It
’s too late?” he asked, his tone harsher than before.
She looked back at him, her eyes widening at how furious he looked for saying he wasn’t mad with her.
“He’s not angry at you,” Lucifer said. “Take a breath. I am here.”
She nodded to Lucifer, and David’s glare narrowed on her.
“Yes, it’s too late or are you nodding to someone?” David looked around again.
“It’s too late,” she said, biting her lip as she watched his jaw clenching. “This is the only way.”
“So, you’re going to leave? Walk away from me and your children? From Gawain and Gareth—all of us?”
Jane was about to respond to him, but a pair of voices from the hall carried into the room.
“I need Melody’s meal and the ration set aside for her,” a male voice spoke to another.
“I don’t know why they kept her here, let alone alive,” another male said. “Here, I hope she chokes on it.”
David’s eyes were wide as saucers as he stared back at Jane in horror.
“YOU BASTARD!” She jumped up, completely losing the calming touch Lucifer had on her. “YOU LIED TO ME!”
David stood up quickly and blocked her path out of the room. “Baby, stop! I didn’t know she was still here until this morning. I’ve been so preoccupied with the twins—I wasn’t told the arrangement was postponed.”
“Good,” she said, moving to go around him, but he blocked her again. “Get out of my way, David!”
“No, baby. I’m not going to let you do something you’ll regret.”
“I won’t regret this,” she said, her chest heaving as she began breathing faster. She didn’t know where Lucifer was, but she didn’t care. “I’m going to kill her for what she did.”
“This is why I banished her, Jane. I can’t let you kill her in cold blood.”
“It’s revenge!”
“EXACTLY!” he yelled, holding his hands up when she tried to pass him. “It’s wrong.”
Jane was ready to claw his eyes out. “Wrong? I’m wrong?”
He sighed. “Jane, she will be punished.”
She laughed loudly. “You call sending her to her daddy punishment? You’re a hypocrite, David. You kill innocent people who are forced into immortality all the time—people who have no control over what they do—and then you justify it by saying they would have killed other innocents. But when it’s one of your fucking allies, you bend the rules. Fuck you, David! Fuck all of you. It’s your fucking fault she did this. It’s your damn sister’s fault my family was even around her! You said they would be fine! YOU LIED! Just like you lied to me last night. Now, I’m going to do what you should have done the night we got here!”
Lucifer finally moved close to her, wrapping his arms around her waist as he whispered in her ear. “Foolish boy. Why does he not see you need justice?”
Jane nodded to him. “Why can’t you see I need justice? Jason deserves justice!”
David shook his head. “Baby, listen to me. I want you to have justice for what happened. I wanted her gone before you returned, but something happened with the plane, and they couldn’t get her away. Arthur is doing everything in his power to get her to her father.”
“Oh, how nice of Arthur. The man who loves to pick at people’s minds and accuse people of being evil when he leaves a monster under the same roof as my babies!”
“Jane, please try to think about what you’re doing.”
“I’m seeing that justice is served.”
“No, you’re out for revenge, and it will destroy you.”
She laughed. “Believe me, I won’t hurt from this. I’d feel sorrier for killing Lycaon again than this bitch. She killed my husband and tried to kill my babies.”
“Actually,” Lucifer whispered. “She tried to make Jason kill your children. I stopped him by reminding him of you. I put your smile in his mind.”
Jane stopped breathing for a second. Her heart felt like it was bleeding as she saw her demon smiling next to the sad girl who was covering her ears. “She tried to make Jason kill them?”
“Who told you that?” David asked.
Lucifer kissed her cheek. “She hypnotized him, gave him a knife, and ordered him to slit their throats. I was able to break her spell by reminding Jason how much you truly loved him, and he you.” Lucifer kissed her cheek again. “I would have stopped her, my queen, but I am incapable of killing a made immortal right now. I did what I could, which was wake him. I kept him alert long enough to fight back.”
Jane slowly looked up at David. “You knew she bewitched Jason to kill them, and you still want her to live? What if she had succeeded, David? Do you have any idea what that would have done to me? Or to Jason?”
“I know, my love. I will see that she is punished, but I can’t let you be the one to do it.”
“Ask him where she is so you can at least confront her,” Lucifer told her.
“Where is she?” Her voice didn’t even sound like her own.
“Jane,” David said, moving closer. “Don’t do this.”
“He’ll only let her go again.” Lucifer placed an icy kiss on her neck. “The knights are only concerned with winning the war. Your beautiful heart is nothing compared to that. She’ll get away with nothing but a warning to never return. She deserves to burn inside the walls of Tartarus. Send her there, and I will ensure her torture is great.” Another kiss chilled her burning skin before more kisses trailed up to her jaw. “Find her and kill her.”
“Tell me where she is, David.” She saw her demon smiling wickedly, but Jane didn’t care anymore.
David cupped her cheeks and kissed her forehead. “Come back to me, my love. I know you are hurt and angry, but this isn’t you.”
There was an angry growl from Lucifer in her ear and a feral hiss from her demon, but she listened to David.
He kissed her forehead again before he spoke. “My Jane doesn’t want to hurt anyone. Even the most vile of beasts, she feels pity for. My baby wants to take care of her children. She wants to be happy and see them smile. My baby loves me.” He smiled against her skin. “I want to hear those words again. I want to take care of you so we can take care of your children together. Please, Jane. Come back. You’re home.” He kissed her forehead again and held her to him.
She started to lean against him, sighing as his heat raced to her chest, but she froze when an icy jolt pierced her bleeding heart.
“Jason was your home, Jane,” Lucifer said, his fingers digging into her hip as her demon giggled and stroked the sad girl’s hair. Lucifer gently pulled her back. “Your family—Jason, Natalie, and Nathan—they were your home. David broke your home.”
She opened her eyes and moved her face away from David’s lips.
“He broke your home,” Lucifer hissed. “And Melody destroyed it.”
“She destroyed my home,” Jane said, feeling ice surrounding her heart.
“She killed him,” Lucifer whispered. “She ripped him apart and fed on his blood. She fed on Nathan.”
Jane shoved David hard and bared her fangs. “She killed my home!”
“Baby, stop.”
“He won’t kill her for you,” Lucifer said, kissing her cheek. “You have to destroy her. Give her the pain she gave you.”
“She took everything from me!” she screamed. “You’re going to let her get away with destroying my life! You’re choosing your allies over me! I HATE YOU!”
Lucifer kissed her jaw, whispering in her ear, “She’s in the dungeons.”
“David, stop!” Gawain yelled, ripping him off one of the guards.
David had an unknown vampire pinned to the floor with his hand, ready to rip out his throat. He grunted and roughly pushed himself up, breaking the rifle containing silver rounds in half.
“Just go.” Gawain shoved him toward the destroyed hallway. “They won’t be able to kill her anyway. Come on.”
David threw the demolished weapon to the ground before looking down the hall where the
others had already gone. The walls and floors were completely ruined. They were littered with holes or knocked down entirely because Jane had completely lost it.
He knew he was only alive because she was barely hanging on to her true self, but she’d used her abilities to send him through several walls before she bolted to search for Melody. Arthur and the others had heard the destruction, which had only gotten louder when Jane came across some of the palace guards who tried to stop her. So far, she hadn’t killed anyone, but she was only getting more pissed. The guards firing silver at her made him lose his own control. He knew she needed to be stopped, but he wasn’t going to watch her get shot.
“They don’t mean to attack her,” Arthur said as David came to a stop behind him. “They’re scared.”
David wiped blood from his face. He knew he shouldn’t have assaulted the guards, but it was impossible to stop once he saw her nearly get shot in the back. “I know,” he said, peering around the corner.
“She’s inside one of the rooms,” Tristan told him.
David glanced at the others. They were breathing hard, covered in plaster and dust, but they looked mostly worried for him.
“Are the children away?” David asked, glancing at Gawain.
“Yes, Guinevere and Elle are with them. They’ve fled to the safety cabin.”
David sighed. “Thank you.”
Arthur growled before speaking. “David, I don’t know how we are going to stop her. I can’t read her mind, and she’s only getting more violent with her attacks. She’s trapped, and she’s going to take us all out if we are in her way.”
“Stop talking about her like she’s the one doing this!” David glared at his brother-in-law. “That’s why she’s been pushed to this point! She heard everything you said about her before.”
Arthur sighed, rubbing some dust off his brow. “David, she is the one doing this. You said she’s holding her demon back somehow, that she wants to kill Melody herself.”
“Wouldn’t you?” David peered around the corner again, leaning back quickly when a beam of blue energy came straight at his face. “FUCK!”