A few minutes later, I heard his feet slapping against the floor as he returned with a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice.
‘How are you feeling?’
His face hovered above mine, scanning my skin for lingering signs of sickness.
From outside, I could hear the gentle scrape of a sun lounger beside the pool.
‘Better, thanks. Is that for me?’
‘Thank God. I feel so guilty, the food at Niko’s is usually so …’
Leaning towards the side table, I took a grateful sip.
‘Don’t be – I think it must just have been from the flight or something. I’m sure the food had nothing to do with it.’
‘Look.’ He took my hand, his eyes falling to his lap. ‘I’m really sorry about my dad, asking about your mum, that was—’
‘God no, it wasn’t.’ I pushed my lips against his, silencing him. ‘He was just curious about your girlfriend. I thought it was sweet.’
Smiling, he ran a finger through my hair. ‘You’re sweet. And anyway, I’m going to make it up to you.’
‘Don’t worry about packing a bag, I’ve thought of everything.’ David guided me through the kitchen by the hand, an hour later. An older woman was sweeping the stone decking on the terrace. She looked up at me briefly, her eyes taking me in before snapping her attention back to her work.
‘Sun cream, hats, towels, swimming costume. And last but not least …’
He pushed me out through the double doors onto the driveway where a motorbike was propped up, two helmets hanging either side, watching the smile break across my mouth.
‘Now, do you want something to snack on now or can you wait until we get there?’
‘Get where?’
‘I’ve told you, it’s a surprise.’
I felt a pang of warmth towards him as I watched him carefully fill the storage unit under the seat, his body, warm with sweat, my anchor as I pulled myself over the bike, gripping his waist.
‘Ready?’
He revved the handlebars, sending a plume of smoke and dust in our wake.
‘Ready.’ I laughed, my voice drowned out under the roar of the engine, the stench of petrol, hot black metal burning against my calves.
It was the first time we had left the confines of the house in daylight since we had arrived the previous afternoon, and with a growing sense of awe I watched the views unfold as we soared around the winding road that clung to the mountain. Swathes of sea, like precious gems, moved in and out of focus as the bike followed the tarmac. At points, the rock fell away, silent shrines marking the spots where the dead had fallen.
‘Here it is.’
David’s voice strained above the engine, which settled to a low purr as we pulled onto a strip of dirt track lined with tall shrubs. Silence replaced the purr of the engine as we pulled ourselves off the bike, and then the gentle lapping of the water.
Through a gap in the bushes, a stretch of powder-white sand revealed itself. There was a small taverna at one end, a cluster of rocks at the other. Fleetingly, I thought of the beaches I had visited as a child: sharp pebbles catching my toes, the slurring hum of the merry-go-round.
‘Wow, this is so beautiful.’
David nodded as I took in the view, the headland jutting out to meet the cloudless sky.
‘Isn’t it? Now, choose somewhere to sit. Wherever you like, it looks like we’re pretty much the only people here. I’m going to get our stuff.’
David disappeared back towards the bike and I slipped off my flip-flops, my feet submerging themselves in the sand, which was hot and prickly. Cursing under my breath at the unexpected heat, I stuffed my feet back into my flip-flops, moving further towards the water before settling on my sarong.
‘Is iced tea OK or shall I go and get us a couple of coffees?’ David had returned and was rifling in the cool-bag, pulling out two glistening cans. ‘I even brought straws.’
‘This is perfect,’ I replied, pressing my elbows into the sand, my head rolling back in tandem with the crack of the ring-pull.
As we looked out across the beach, my eyes fell on two girls, who must have been around three or four, slapping at the sand with matching spades. For a moment, I thought of Thomas and my heart tightened. A second later, one of the children leaned forward and pushed the other, who instantly burst into tears. As their mother intervened to defuse the situation between sparring siblings, I felt David reposition himself on the towel next to me.
‘Bloody hell, aren’t you glad you were an only child?’
Taken off guard, my body flinched. ‘What?’
He must have sensed something in my expression. As his eyes narrowed slightly, I pulled myself straighter on my sarong, following his lead.
‘Yeah, I mean twins – can you imagine?’
‘Nope,’ David snorted, relaxing again. ‘They run in families, you know that?’
‘Do they?’ I averted my gaze so that I was looking at a family settling themselves at one of the tables at the beach bar; the way they moved so naturally around one another was captivating, none of them ever bristling at each other’s touch.
‘Yeah, I mean fuck that.’ His voice was emphatic.
I mirrored his tone. ‘Massively fuck that.’
He made a shuddering sound and I laughed, picking up my drink, the bubbles fizzing against my throat as I swallowed.
The morning passed by in a wash of blues and golds, the sun lightly prickling my skin as I stretched out across the towel. After a while, the red glow inside my eyelids turned to black.
I could not be sure how long I had slept. When I came to a while later, the sound of the water breaking against the shore, I felt myself blinking against the sky’s savage glare. Slowly lifting my weight up onto my elbows, I looked around for David, but he was nowhere to be seen.
Assuming he must have headed to the bar for a drink, I turned onto my front, undoing the clasp of my bikini top, watching the waves gently lap at the shore. For the first time all day, I let myself think of Harry.
He had already sent two messages since I had arrived in Greece. The sensible thing to do would be to reply then and there, while I had the chance, to let him know I was OK. Reaching into my bag, I let my hands glide over the hot surface of my phone for a moment before letting go; something about the idea of him thinking of me, wondering where I was, stopped me. Why not let him stew for a few hours longer? Taking a breath, I pulled out a cigarette instead.
With a passing flutter of guilt, I breathed in the smoke, exhaling the thought of him away.
‘David, this is insane.’
I let him lift me into the speedboat like a child, squealing as he jokingly threatened to drop me back onto the deck.
‘Are you actually safe to drive this thing?’
‘Only one way to find out …’
As the boat set off, I was thrown back, the spray of the water slapping against my legs.
Steadying myself, I faced the beach, watching it shrink and then disappear as we cut around the headland, enjoying the longing in the faces that followed us from the shore.
David turned briefly to smile at me from the wheel. The wind tearing at my cheeks, I felt the urge to scream. What would my parents have said if they could have seen me now?
As unexpected as the rush of joy that had seized me a moment earlier, I felt a stab of pain as I thought of my mother, picturing her reaction if I had been able to tell her about David. There would have been the usual show of happiness for her only daughter, followed by an ill-disguised swell of pain. The surviving child, an unrelenting reminder of all she had lost. The loss of Thomas followed by the collapse of the business; my father’s refusal to turn anywhere but inwards. The blame for all of it safely stowed at my door.
‘Here we are!’
My cheeks were wet from the spray, stinging as the salt rubbed against my sunburnt skin. As I turned, another beach came into view, this one deserted, a cove at the far end like a gaping mouth.
Once he had laid
the blanket on the sand, pulling the corners neatly in line, David pulled out a bottle of champagne and popped the cork.
Sucking the foam from the side of his glass, he pulled out a plate of fresh calamari, still warm, from the taverna, and a selection of dips and olives, with soft, greasy bread.
‘David, this is perfect.’
It was, almost. Watching David scooping tzatziki into his mouth, I thought how proud Harry would be of me, of how far I had come. Jealous, too? The thought pleased me as I let the straps of my bikini fall from my arms, tilting my head back to catch the sun.
‘So are you. That’s why I love you.’
The words made me freeze.
‘Hardly.’ I laughed lightly, turning my attention to the cooler bag. ‘What else have you got in here?’
Pulling out a tub of fresh fruit, I willed him to look away.
‘Anna, I mean it.’
Pushing against the sensation rising in my belly, I lifted my eyes to meet his. I opened my mouth and the words rolled out, round and easy on my tongue.
‘I love you too.’
We returned from the beach in the late afternoon, the words that had passed between us earlier stirring behind David’s eyes.
After showering, I slipped on a long dress and sandals, the pale pink of my shoulders fizzing under white spaghetti straps.
‘I thought you were sleeping.’ David looked up from the hammock where he was lying, his face coming to life.
‘I couldn’t sleep, I thought I’d have a shower instead. Hope that’s—’
‘There you are.’ Clive’s voice roared behind me.
He stepped into view, carrying his laptop and a newspaper, wearing a panama hat and linen suit, the off-duty Englishman.
‘You’re feeling better then? You gave us quite a fright at dinner last night.’
‘Much better, thank you.’
He sat back in a wooden lounger, pushing another one forward for me to join them.
‘Athena?’
A woman appeared from the kitchen, small but firm as a fist.
‘We’ll have three G and Ts if you don’t mind? Extra ice, it’s bloody scorching.’
‘Anna, this is Athena, I don’t think you’ve met.’ David held out his arm towards the woman I had noticed earlier that morning, as she returned with a tray.
‘Athena looks after the house and, more importantly, she looks after us.’
Clive held the last word a beat too long.
‘Lovely to meet you.’
‘You too. David and my daughter Maria grew up together. Every summer, the two of them were inseparable. They were like brother and sister …’ Athena held my eye.
‘Oh. David hasn’t mention—’
But then David’s voice cut across mine. ‘We haven’t seen each other in years.’
Did I imagine Athena bristling at his words?
Composing her face, she smiled though her voice was brisk. ‘No, well, lives move in different directions. Anyway, I better get on. Nice to meet you, Anna.’
There was a moment’s silence and then David nodded, switching his attention to the pool.
‘You remember I’m planning a little soirée on Saturday?’ Clive spat a stone into his hand.
‘Of course. Who’s coming?’ David leaned back in the hammock.
‘Oh, just the usual. The Campbells, the Earls and their kids, the Phillimores. Oh, and Jeff and May are thinking of heading over …’
There was a note in his voice, which David responded to with an unspoken question.
Clive waved his arm, silencing him, as I made a mental note. Jeff and May.
We spent the following day at another of the various beaches that lay in discreet inlets around the island, sunning ourselves until our skin burnt. Later on, we made our way back up the mountain, hot stones spitting against our bare, sun-drenched skin as David’s bike swung around the sharp bends.
The house was quiet when we got back, the sun silently lowering itself towards the water that surrounded us.
‘I’m going to use the outside shower. You can join me if you like?’ David spoke as we entered the kitchen, the coolness of the air stinging against my skin.
‘I might have that lie-down now, if that’s OK?’
He nodded, watching me as I retreated upstairs.
Reaching the landing, I took a moment to drink in the house. The sweep of the staircase; the oversized ceramic pots like enormous urns at the corner of each room. Drawing a map in my mind, I processed everything only in small chunks, just as Harry had taught me.
The top floor echoed the footprint of the ground floor, before stretching out into the guest wing and then, separately, the staff quarters where the maid stayed while the house was in use.
The family wing, where I now stood, consisted of two doors along the main walls, and one more at each end. In the perfect stillness of the hallway, I moved slowly, studying the paintings that lined the walls on both sides. An orange grove in heavy slashes of paint. Sea views. A faceless woman crouched over the branches of an olive tree.
Recognising the brushstrokes from the picture which hung above the fireplace at home, and along the landing outside David’s bedroom, I thought of David’s mother, imagining her walking these halls in the months before she died.
Taking a step closer towards the bedroom, I caught the sound of a man’s voice, Clive’s distinct low vibrato humming from the second door on the left, which I now saw was partially open. There was a wall of books just visible through the crack. The study.
His voice rang with the affability of an English gent.
‘Very good, Jeff. Well, I look forward to seeing you then. Will the kids be joining us?’
From the rise in volume it was clear that the call was coming to an end. Silently, I moved faster down the hall as I heard him ring off, the crack of his knees as he rose from his chair, followed by a low cough.
Holding my breath, I pulled open the door to David’s room, pressing it closed as quietly as I could and leaning back against it. My heart pounded as I finally pulled out my phone from my bag. One message from ‘Dad’, sent three times since Saturday.
Anna?
I took a moment before typing, the thought of Harry calming my nerves.
Hi Dad, I’m here with David. So far so good. x
CHAPTER 15
Anna
‘Don’t worry, they’ll love you.’ David was in the en suite, a razor to his neck, chamber music wafting in from outside through the terrace doors.
I stood, moving in front of the mirror while he shaved, holding a yellow halterneck dress against my body.
Through the terrace doors, I could hear Athena talking to herself in Greek as the caterers laid out hors d’oeuvres on silver platters in the kitchen, the gentle murmur of her voice soothing my heartbeat.
‘I wanted to give you this.’ David walked around to the drawer by his side of the bed and pulled out a rectangular box.
‘What is it?’
‘Have a look.’
Turning, I saw the box in his hand, rectangular black leather, cracked open to reveal a cream-coloured silk.
He watched my face.
‘It’s amethyst. It belonged to my mother.’
‘Oh David, it’s beautiful.’
‘Here, let me help.’
Walking slowly behind me, he took the necklace.
‘It really suits you,’ he said, pulling the chain lightly around my throat.
The final wave of guests started to pile in as if from nowhere at around 7 p.m., cars clogging up the drive. Women in garish reds and greens, lavish silks and pearls; men in linen suits strutted like peacocks, the smell of money oozing from their pores.
‘Go out, I’ll be down in a minute,’ David whispered, heading back upstairs and leaving me in the kitchen where a team of caterers were distractedly piling crudités onto a silver platter.
‘I thought it was just a few …’
I turned but David had already gone.
; Pressing my hands nervously against my thighs, I spotted Jorgos for the first time since dinner the first night, just through the doors where the terrace gave way to the pool and the garden beyond. A gold chain glistened against his tanned wrist as he clamped his phone to his ear, his silver hair swept back in his signature ponytail. His eyes scanned the house behind his shades, taking it all in, not missing a beat.
For a moment our eyes met and then I felt a slight pressure on my shoulder.
‘You must be David’s girlfriend …’
Turning, I was met by a woman holding two champagne glasses, my mother’s age but a different breed. Her skin, a thick mahogany, was pulled tight against her jaw, jewels clinging to her ears.
‘I’m May. Clive has told us all about you.’
She handed me a glass, tilting it so that the rims almost touched.
A small smile formed on my lips and I nodded. ‘I’ve heard so much about you too.’
The answer seemed to satisfy her and she leaned towards me. ‘Do you smoke?’
I nodded, reaching for my bag.
‘Shit.’ Feeling the panic slowly seizing my body, I pictured it, ajar on the bed, both phones inside. Had I left it open? I could not think through all the noise, with May’s eyes trained sharply on mine.
‘Actually, I’ve left them upstairs, I’ll just—’
‘No need.’
She was already heading for the garden, gliding on impossible heels, willing me along with her.
‘So, you’re the one who’s stolen David’s heart.’
Her look was appraising. Taller than her even in flats, I was aware of my dress, the cheap material pulling across my body in all the wrong places.
Trying desperately to keep the fear from my voice, I started to excuse myself, my heart lurching at the memory of my bag on the bed, but she would not hear it.
‘Well, I can’t say I’m surprised, just look at you.’
She inhaled, keeping her eyes on me as I obediently took one of the cigarettes, thin and white, feeling the sheen of sweat rise across my chest as we stepped into the evening sun.
‘May!’
It was David. A tingle of uncertainty rushed over me as he stepped between us, my bag, the clasp locked, in his hand. Had it been closed? Why could I not remember?
The Most Difficult Thing Page 10