by Helly Acton
‘My friend Mandy had a boyfriend,’ Vivian continues. ‘Poor Mandy. She had so much spark to her. Her big dream was to start a gluten-free bakery. Brilliant idea! But the more Jasper became a part of her life, the longer she put it off. She got too comfortable in the relationship, and the Bakerfree dream eventually fizzled out. When I asked her about it, she said that she didn’t have the time or headspace anymore. That she was happy in her relationship, and she didn’t want anything to get in the way, or eat into the time she wanted to spend with Jasper.’
The story reminds Millie of Ruth, and the way she’s been acting these past few months. Before she met Sam, Ruth used to talk all the time about taking over Slide. She had grand ideas for how the business could operate differently, expand into different relationship areas, diversify with sex toys and events. When Sam came on the scene, those conversations dried up. But the truth is, Millie can’t put that all on Sam, because at the same time, Slide was bought by Human and the possibility of Ruth having any control became more remote.
‘How do you know it was the relationship that made Mandy give up, though?’ Millie asks. ‘Maybe Jasper saved her from making a big mistake. She can’t have been that attached to her dreams for her to toss them aside so easily, surely? Maybe she wasn’t as ambitious as you thought she was.’
‘No,’ Vivian says, shaking her head. ‘But I knew Mandy well, and for a long time. She could have achieved so much more with her life if she’d just stayed single.’
‘Nan’s parents were a couple, weren’t they?’ June asks. ‘Weren’t they happy?’
‘Look closer at the photos,’ Vivian replies. ‘Nan’s mother has the dull eyes of a stuffed and mounted cat. The eyes of someone whose life has not panned out the way she hoped it would. But she made her choice. We are the product of our own choices, girls, and the architects of our lives. It’s up to us to make sure that no one ever gets in the way of that.’
‘Perhaps I should take an Oxytoxin?’ Millie teases.
‘I don’t think any of us needs to do that, sweetheart,’ her mum says, then: ‘Do you?’ She looks worried.
‘Ummm,’ Millie teases.
‘Don’t you dare. At your age, well, at any age, you two have far more important things to focus on.’
Ben:
So I lost my phone, and my marbles last night
Ben:
It was in the fridge
Ben:
Next to some glazed ham that looks like it’s been mauled by a ravenous bear
Ben:
Still haven’t found the marbles though
‘Oi, why do you keep checking your phone?’ June asks Millie, when they’re in the lift on the way down from lunch at Vivian’s.
‘Emails,’ Millie replies with a half-fib and a hidden smile. ‘The next couple of weeks are going to be crammed with this pitch. Think I need to work tonight.’
‘What about Single Me Out!?’ June looks crestfallen. ‘I thought you were coming over?’
‘Sorry, I can’t. Rain check for Friday? Highlights and takeout?’
June nods and the lift fills with silence for a few seconds.
‘Do you like him?’ she asks.
‘Who?’ Millie asks.
‘Brian.’
‘You mean Ben? Yeah, he’s cool, why do you ask?’
‘I mean like him, like him. I don’t know. Last night, you were . . . different in front of him. The main reason I left was because I felt like a bit of a spare wheel. I couldn’t get a word in edgeways with your riveting puzzle chat. So much for karaoke.’
‘I thought you left because of Erica?’ Millie asks.
‘There was that, too, but I wouldn’t normally dump you for a slide, you know that. I just think I saw something between you and Ben, that’s all. Maybe just be a bit careful. When you’re on the cusp of being promoted, the last thing you want is an office scandal.’
‘June, there’s nothing there, I promise. I need him for this pitch and we just get on, that’s all. He’s funny. You’d like him if you got to know him.’
‘He is funny. And his face? Just your type,’ June says, and smiles with raised eyebrows.
Twelve
To: Millie Jones
From: Ben Evans
Re: The Trip
Bonjour Belle!
Nope, sorry, it’s not Paris. But I have left you a little clue below.
Activating Serious Ben Mode now: I’ve found four subjects with different romantic relationship experiences who are willing to be interviewed. Non-Disclosure Agreements are already signed. I think it’ll give us some useful insights to come up with a kick-ass angle for the pitch. Hope you agree.
You in? You’re in. She’s in everyone *screams across the office, everyone cheers*
B
PS Here’s your one-word clue:
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ - _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ - _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
To: Ben Evans
From: Millie Jones
Re: Re: The Trip
I’m in.
How is that one word?
E?
To: Millie Jones
From: Ben Evans
Re: Re: Re: The Trip
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ - _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ e _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ - _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Millie stares at Ben across the desks, pretending to be unamused. Her screen pings.
@bene:
has anyone ever told you that you have a wonderful smile
@milliej:
haha
@milliej:
FAKE CLUES
@bene:
how dare you!
@milliej:
U
Ben pauses typing, smiles, opens his notepad and starts drawing something on the paper. When he lifts it up, it’s a single line, depicting the bottom of the hangman gallows. He stares at Millie and makes a slicing motion with his finger across his neck.
Millie sees Sasha watching them in her peripheral vision, and quickly turns back to her screen to open the attachment from Ben’s first email.
Confidential
Interviewee One:
Deion Matthews
Age:
16
Family:
Parent, Daniel Matthews
Notes:
Deion was a star pupil, but he is now falling behind at school. His father suspects his poor marks are the result of being in a romantic relationship with his classmate, Michaela, but he won’t admit to anything. Daniel is worried that he won’t excel in his exams and qualify for a top university. He’s going to waste Daniel’s time, effort and money, end up abandoning his dreams, ruining his future and regretting everything when he’s older.
Campaign Angle:
Secure Their Future.
Millie feels instant empathy with Deion. Vivian might have put pressure on Millie at that age, but she was never that forceful. She just wanted the best for Millie. She was practical. And pushy. Wasn’t she? Then again, romance was never a risk for Millie. Like all her school friends, the idea of having a partner was laughable. Her mother has never had to worry about her.
When Millie opens up the next attachment, she sees a woman in a pink shellsuit looking bereft.
Confidential
Interviewee Two:
Ginny Hodgson
Age:
70
Family:
N/a
Notes:
Ginny and her ex-partner Gareth were in a relationship for thirty years. Last year, Ginny walked in on Gareth sliding two women in the garden shed. Gareth has since confessed to sliding all over the shop and has left her to lead a single life. Ginny still loves Gareth and misses him constantly – her home and life are filled with reminders of him, they have many mutual friends and her heart breaks every time she sees him at a social event. It’s become so humiliating and hard for her to watch that she no longer sees their friends. If she could stamp out her lingering feelings fo
r Gareth, she could rekindle her friendships and move on with her life (without having to sell all of her possessions) as a confident, happy, single woman.
Campaign Angle:
No More Pain.
Taking Oxytoxin to heal a broken heart like this is the most positive argument yet for the antidote. Millie would love nothing more than to help Ginny’s invisible wounds heal and rediscover how to be happily single, like almost everyone else. If Ruth and Sam ever break up, taking Oxytoxin might be just the tonic.
Confidential
Interviewee Three:
Thandi Nkosi
Age:
53
Family:
None
Notes:
Thandi is the CEO of a marketing consultancy. On the surface, she is a professional success story. Underneath, she’s a personal crisis. She started her business straight out of university and has grown it to be one of the region’s leading agencies, with a string of big clients in its portfolio. But she’s been secretly in love with Simone, her business partner, for 20 years. While she has managed to hide it, her feelings can be all-consuming, and she struggles to cope at times. She just wants to get rid of the weight of them so she can focus on work.
Campaign Angle:
Stay Focused.
This too is convincing. If, in some alternate universe, Millie did fall in love with someone, losing focus on her work would be her biggest concern. She stares at Thandi’s photograph in admiration before moving on to two cherry-cheeked people in white, balancing a young girl on a Shetland pony between them.
Confidential
Interviewee Four:
Betty and Marius Rogers
Age:
36 and 38
Family:
Lily, daughter, 6 years old
Notes:
Betty and Marius met at work ten years ago, where they ‘felt an instant spark the moment they set eyes on each other’. They ignored the comments and concerns from parents and friends and eventually formalised their ‘couple’ status, regardless of the social and financial implications of doing so. Recent tax incentives for single people to stay single along with the pre-existing financial benefits of singledom are making them question whether they should split up for the sake of their daughter – to give her a more stable financial future.
Campaign Angle:
Avoid the Stress.
One of Oxytoxin’s great perks is helping people to avoid falling in love in the first place. Dodging that love bullet. Millie realises she needs to clue up on the financial implications of being in a couple before the pitch. It could be a huge pull. Ruth’s moaned a few times about what it might cost for her and Sam to live together with double occupancy fees, but Millie has never paid attention to the details. All she can think of is the pain of paying for large-order charges on food deliveries and missing out on solo dining deals. She briefly thinks of calling Ruth, but decides against it. Ruth is so perturbed by this pill; it would be unfair of Millie to ask her to participate. What’s more, she hasn’t heard from Ruth since the spin class. She was a no-show on Friday, and she’s been offline all weekend. Millie glances over at Ruth’s empty desk. Old desk. Her chest swells as she imagines herself sitting there, with the best view of the floor, taking delivery of a fresh new batch of business cards.
Her screen pings again.
@bene:
lunch?
@milliej:
yes
@bene:
sorry, I meant to send that to someone else
@bene:
cringe for you
@milliej:
ha ha
@bene:
today’s lunch special: a taste of your own medicine
@milliej:
O
@bene:
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ - _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ o _ e _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ o _ - _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ o _ o _ o _ o _ _
@milliej:
oh ffs
@bene:
_ _ _ _ f _ _ _ _ _ _ _ - _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ o _ e _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ o _ - _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ s _ _ _ _ o _ o _ o _ o _ _
@milliej:
I didn’t mean that!
Millie grabs them a spot for two by the window while Ben fetches their food. It’s a Monday, which means Millie orders the Asian chicken salad with a side of miso and mango juice. When Ben returns, he has ordered the same thing. If Millie was June, she’d flip out. The only thing that annoys June more than Millie reading the menu before they get to the restaurant is someone ordering the same thing as her.
‘You’re not one of those people who hates ordering the same food, are you?’ he asks, as if reading her mind.
‘Not at all,’ Millie says. ‘I say order what you enjoy.’
‘Well, you can have my miso and mango juice. Not a big fan of either,’ Ben says.
‘That’s half the meal! Why did you order it?’ Millie asks, laughing.
‘I don’t know, it just seemed easier and faster! I had Sasha breathing down my neck in the queue and I panicked. Is my neck red? I’m pretty sure there was fire coming out of her mouth,’ he says, spinning round.
Millie slathers her hands with sanitiser, then gives the same treatment to her knife and fork.
Ben sits down, picks a piece of broccoli off the top of his salad and pops it in his mouth, as he puts his notepad and pen on the table.
‘Go on then,’ he says. ‘Know where we’re going yet?’
‘Is this like a trick place? A place that doesn’t actually exist, and you’re going to turn around and tell me that it’s my imagination?’
‘I’m not that much of a knob. And frankly, if you can’t guess it, I’m insulted.’
‘Why?’ Millie laughs.
‘You’ll see.’
Suddenly Millie has a mental breakthrough. She watched a documentary on it last year. It was the longest place name in Wales, and there is no way she’s going to remember how it’s spelt or how to pronounce it.
‘I know where you mean!’ She laughs. ‘As if I could ever spell it, Ben Evans. This is a total trick!’
‘And why not? It’s very simple, really.’
‘OK, if it’s that simple, why don’t you try it?’
‘Llanfairpwll-gwyngyllgogerychwyrndrob-wllllantysiliogogogoch. Easy!’ He shrugs. ‘Now you try. Where are we going?’
Millie smiles. ‘Wales?’
‘OK, that’s cheating. Yes, we’re going to the motherland. Sadly, not to Llanfairpwll-gwyngyllgogerychwyrndrob-wllllantysiliogogogoch specifically.’
‘Now you’re just showing off.’
‘I am not! If I wanted to show off, I would have said we were going to Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu.’
‘That’s not even a place,’ Millie replies.
‘It is! It’s in New Zealand. I went with my girlfriend a few years ago.’
Millie’s chest clamps up instantly.
Ben has a girlfriend.
And for some strange reason, it bothers her.
Bruce is being uncharacteristically affectionate this evening, not that Millie is complaining. She dare not move an inch in case she scares him away from his current position on the far edge of the sofa. The warm black fluff of his bottom is keeping her left toes, and her heart, warm.
Ben’s casual announcement that he has a girlfriend earlier has left her feeling queasy. Most of all, she’s irritated by her reaction. Why does she care that he has a girlfriend? It shouldn’t matter to her in the slightest.
What are these feelings? When he walks into a room, her stomach does somersaults. When he sends her a message, she squeals inside and wants to reply immediately, which is kind of pathetic. When he looks into her eyes, her cheeks go hot and she has to look away in case he sees. Does she want something to happen between them? Does she want him to come knocking on her hotel door in the night and grab her in a passionate embrace before stumbling back across the hotel room and falling backwards onto the bed together and slidin
g all night long? Maybe. OK, yes. It can’t be anything more than a crush. A stupid crush that she will never act on. Still, she wishes she didn’t feel an ache at the thought of his girlfriend. She wishes she had the energy to eat something. She wishes she would stop trying to find his girlfriend online, which she’s been doing since she got home an hour ago. Ben’s girlfriend does bother her. But it’s only because it proves Sasha right. He’s . . . odd. And perhaps partnering with him in the pitch will put her on the back foot. If he’s in a relationship, he can’t be objective.
A message appears on her screen as she’s scrolling through his blog for the billionth time, startling her and sending Bruce flying off the sofa.
Ben:
Want to work from mine tomorrow? I’ve bought some fancy biscuits just for the occasion x
Millie might get to meet the mystery girlfriend in person. She scrolls through their messages, trying to find clues from the first time he messaged her. Then she sees his message from last Friday night.
Ben:
_ _ / _ _ _ _ _ / _ _ / _ / _ _ _ _ _ _ _ / _ _ _ _ _ _ x
Whatever he was trying to tell her, she’ll never find out. Like these feelings of jealousy, pain and longing, Millie will have to park it and move on.
Thirteen
‘Breaking park rules, I see!’ Millie says as she scrapes a chair up to Ben, who is sitting with a bag of seeds next to a large sign that says DON’T FEED THE DUCKS. It’s 8.30 a.m., and she’s feeling out of sorts about this routine-switch. She’d normally be at her desk filing her first email by now, not at the pond watching Ben throw seeds into the water, creating tiny duck tornadoes.
‘Well, I can’t sit here and enjoy my toast knowing how much these little guys would love a piece. I’m not a monster,’ he cries.
‘Just a maverick,’ Millie replies.
‘I like it!’ He turns to her with wide green eyes that look especially bright against the water this morning. Millie turns her gaze away quickly.
‘I got you a decaf oat milk flat white and a croissant from the stand at the front gate,’ he says, leaning underneath his chair and bringing up the goods.
‘You remembered,’ Millie says.
‘It was a memorable first meeting.’ He smiles.
‘Plus, it was only a couple of weeks ago,’ Millie replies.