by Gina Henning
Jack pushes the door of the bathroom open with his back. He unhooks the back of my bra and tosses it out of the room. His mouth works down to my nipples and I moan from the intensity. Jack tugs on one with his teeth as his thumb and forefinger pull on the other. I’m falling over in cascades of waterfalls of ecstasy. His lips glide up my neck and lock on my mouth and my fingers are searching his body too.
I run my hands over his large shoulders and down his biceps, removing his shirt as I go. His back is so solid I want to trace it with kisses. I want to spend an eternity tracing his entire body with my mouth. Jack’s hands slide down my breasts and to my hips. He pulls my panties off and flings them into the hall along with his pants. He kicks the door shut and I’m being lifted into the air. There is no gravity even if Jack didn’t have me off the ground… I am no longer grounded. I’m floating on a sea of love and intensity. I don’t want to ever leave this ship.
We splash down into a bath full of white fluffy bubbles. I sink deeper into the water. It’s warm and with Jack’s arms around me and his lips over mine I’m burning inside. I pull back and take in the room. The fire is flickering shades of yellows and reds and all I’m seeing is deep crimson pulsating shapes of love.
Chapter Eleven
The air is crisp. Jack has assured me that, despite the low temperatures, he will keep me warm. Our fingers are laced together and even through our leather and suede gloves the warmth of his blood pulsating against mine is strong.
In typical Jack fashion he has not shared our location. All I know is he’s got a tan woven picnic basket in one arm and my hand in the other. Could I possibly need anything else?
We traipse over a dirt path away from the inn and further into a forest until we are among what I’m assuming is an orchard of some sort from the perfect alignment and spacing of the trees. I inspect the leaves. There is nothing growing from these trees currently.
At the end of the orchard we reach a wooden dock and tied at the end, floating in the lake, is a little teal-colored boat. The water is an iridescent dark blue with gentle ripples slowly moving it.
“Ready for our boating adventure?” Jack squeezes my hand as we make our way down to the dock. I’m not sure about this. I’m already cold and being in and or on the water is going to be even cooler. But I don’t want to be a stick in the mud, so I smile instead and try to prevent my teeth from chattering.
“Oh yes, Jack, I’m ready.” And willing, I mumble under my breath. Jack stops and places the picnic basket on the deck. He pulls me in to him.
“I’m glad to hear that.” Jack raises his eyebrows at me and kisses me. He helps me get in the boat. It’s really rocky. We are not out in the middle of the ocean, it’s a fairly quiet lake, yet the fear of this boat capsizing seems real to me. I grasp onto the sides of the boat and try to steady myself. Jack grabs the picnic basket and peers down at me.
“You’re not afraid are you, Lauren?” His eyes inspect my hands and then my face. Thankfully my gloves are covering my most likely white knuckles.
I jerk my head back. “Of course not. I’m just steading this sturdy piece of wood for you.” I flash him my best car salesperson grin.
Jack smiles and nods. He climbs into the boat as if he is stepping onto solid ground. I haven’t been on a boat in a long time and this boat, along with the cold lake, reminds me of a scary drowning movie. I know how to swim, but this does not prevent images of me falling overboard and a branch wrapping onto my body and holding me under. I shake my head.
“Hey, Lauren.” Jack lifts my chin so that our eyes meet. “If you don’t want to go on the lake, we don’t have to.”
I let out a small, forced laugh. “Ha…noooo…what? I’m fine.” The sides of my mouth push up at the corners. “Come on—row, row, row this boat.” I move my head side to side.
Jack nods and picks up the oars. “Impatient to get out to the center of the lake?”
I raise an eyebrow. “Why the center?”
“It’s got the best view. Besides the one in front of me right now of course.” Jack moves the oars back and forth, digging deeper into the water and further away from the dock and solid land.
Jack rows with precision like he was on the team at Yale. I wouldn’t be surprised if he admitted this. It would make sense. His shoulders move back and forth and through his heavy wool coat his biceps are bulging. I wish I wasn’t sitting across from him and instead was wrapped in those big muscles and surrounded by his warmth. A light breeze blows across my face. I rub my arms.
“Are you cold?” Jack inspects me as if he is trying to determine the amount of warmth my attire offers. I’m wearing my black suede slouchy boots, skinny jeans, and an amber-colored sweater underneath my navy pea coat.
I bite the inside of my cheek. I don’t want to tell him I’m cold. The last time I admitted this to him, he took off his jacket. Granted, he said he was about to warm up by sawing down a Christmas tree for me, but he’s not sawing a tree right now and it has got to be much colder on the lake.
Jack brings the oars out of the water and places them in our boat. He shifts out of his jacket and wraps it around me. The scent of his sandalwood and apple cologne wafts around me. I’m immediately warmed by his coat and his selflessness.
“Jack.” I sigh.
“Lauren, you know I would freeze if it meant keeping you warm, so let’s not go through this again.” Jack begins rowing again. I’m glad to see he’s wearing a grey pullover. At least there are some extra threads to it than just a button-down shirt.
“I know you would, but that doesn’t mean I want you to freeze while I sit wrapped in jackets.” I laugh. I can’t help it.
Jack shakes his head and smiles at me. He stops rowing and takes in our location as if he’s measuring with his eyes to see if we are in the exact middle of the lake. I can somewhat understand this as I like to sit in the exact center of a theater row.
He nods. And lifts the oars into the boat. Jack unbuckles the picnic basket and pulls out a blanket and places it over my legs. He digs through the wicker and finds a bottle of Cabernet Franc and unscrews the cork. Methodically he pours some wine into two glasses that he has retrieved from the basket. Jack offers me one.
“Cheers to the prettiest skipper I’ve ever set my eyes on.” He clinks my glass.
I crinkle my eyebrows. “Skipper? That makes me think of Gilligan’s Island.” I take a sip of my wine.
My mind wanders. Why am I always his assistant? I’ve never really thought about it before but Jack always seems to take charge. What will happen when we marry? Will I take second seat to everything? He has already taken my driving seat…granted, I gave it up…but I don’t want to give up everything else. I want to be partners. It seems more like Jack is taking on the role of the CEO and I’m supposed to be, what, his VP? I don’t want that. I’ve been on my own for too long to just sink into some sort of antiquated gender role ideology. I swallow hard.
“To my Lady of Shalott.” Jack raises his glass and takes a swallow.
“Jack, that poem is so full of tragedy! I can’t believe you even said it out loud while we are in a boat.” I shake my head.
Jack runs a hand through his hair. “All right…here I sit on a boat…my heart is tugged every which way, the current is strong and the tide is high, but no matter what it takes I’ll be there for the ride. I’ll hold on tightly and make my mark, for no ocean can keep us apart.” I blink. Wow. I haven’t heard this one before. It’s really beautiful. I hesitate, then ask, “Did…did you just make that one up?”
A warm grin floods Jack’s face. “Did you like it?”
“It was beautiful.”
Jack leans in and kisses me. The boat begins to move from side to side and I jerk my head back. “Jack, I do not want to fall into the lake.”
Jack shifts from side to side. The boat rocks and water splashes up against the sides.
“Jack, I’m serious.” I half laugh.
“I know you are and if you think for one second
that I would let you fall in, then you need to reassess your feelings for me or at the very least how you think I feel about you.” Jack’s eyes are back in the basket. He pulls out a cutting board, a few chunks of cheese, and an apple.
He slices the apple and cheese onto the board. “Would you care for a bite?” Jack inspects my face. I’m sure his question is not related to the food on the board but rather if I might like a bite from him.
I raise my eyebrows and take an apple slice. It’s crunchy and loud and full of delicious juices. It kind of reminds me a bit of the wine with its spicy yet sweet flavor. The light color of the apple reminds me of Gala apples, but with its spicy taste, this can’t be possible.
“What kind of apple is this?” I take another bite.
“Braeburn.” Jack grins at me.
“Tasty.” I wipe my chin.
Jack takes a bite from one of the slices and nods. “Very.” Jack leans towards me and kisses my lips before retracting. “Even more delicious.”
I smile. “Yes, you are.”
Jack’s chest rises. “Lauren, you have no idea what you do to me.” He bites his lip.
“Do you think we should set a date?” I regret saying this without really thinking about timing and wording. I already messed up before saying this to him and then feeling like a fool and then the aftermath of what followed.
Jack nods. “Yes, I do. But I’m trying to get some things taken care of first. I would rather have things situated before taking on the task of planning a big wedding.” Jack swallows some of his wine.
I feel deflated. He’s deflected the question again. He just told me about what I mean to him, but he isn’t ready to set a date? I’m utterly confused. Does he not want to set a date? Would he prefer we live in this fantasy world where we have these beautiful moments away from reality and not really conform to the idea of a real world for the two of us? One in which we can both be in the same place at the same time where we aren’t traveling or commuting, but actually living together…as a married couple. I can’t let this question sit again.
“Jack…I don’t understand.”
I know my eyes are filling with tears. I blink, trying to downplay the weight of water forming in my eyes.
Jack grabs my hands. “Lauren, we will set a date. But I want it to be the right one at the right time. Not one that we choose just because we feel pressured by some sort of antiquated rule of picking a date in order to progress along with the idea of a wedding.” He squeezes my hands as if I will respond to this and be okay with his suggestion and what he wants.
“Right, I want that too…but what are you trying to figure out?”
Jack sighs. “Lauren, please understand, I haven’t had to run anything by anyone in my whole adult life. I have things I’m working on—for us—but I don’t want to share every bit of minutia with you.”
My shoulders slump. “Why not? Isn’t that what married people do? Isn’t that the point? Having someone to discuss things with?”
“I do want to discuss things with you.” He reaches for my hand.
“Then why are you keeping all of your plans a secret? Why can’t you just tell me something…anything?” I bite my inner cheek. My chest is constricting; I’m barely able to breathe but I need to know. I have to know what Jack is keeping from me.
“Because…Lauren…I’m trying to take care of things for us. I think it will work out, but what if it doesn’t?”
My jaw drops. “What if what doesn’t? Us?” I swallow, but the lump in the back of my throat is not budging.
“No, I know we will work out.” Jack sighs. “It’s my business, Lauren. I’m working on setting up a firm in Maryland. But I don’t want to get your hopes up in case it falls through. I didn’t want to tell you in case it fails…or rather I do.” His face is full of pain and remorse.
But why? Shouldn’t he think we are stronger than whether or not his business is successful in Maryland? Maybe Jack isn’t willing to let go either. Maybe Jack isn’t ready to be all in with me. Am I ready?
I swallow and wipe away a tear. I’m not going to cry. I won’t. I’ll wait till I am alone. Maybe that is where I will end up anyways.
“Hey.” Jack reaches for my hand. Our hands brush and he encloses mine. His warmth is flowing up my arm. But I can’t…I don’t know where we stand. I don’t understand why Jack thinks he has to keep things from me, things that we should talk about and discuss… That’s what partners do.
“Here.” I take his coat off and hand it to him. “Here, it’s too cold for you not to have it on.”
The vein in Jack’s neck pulses. “Lauren, don’t do this.”
“Do what? I don’t want you to get frostbite. Here.” I stand up and try to wrap it around him and I lose my balance. My mind flashes to the idea of being pushed into a swimming pool in the summer. Except I’m not near a pool and the temperature is completely opposite of summer. I wavering and I’m falling.
Jack scoops me in his arms and settles me in his lap. “Not on my watch.” He breathes into my ear. Jack takes his coat and covers me up and I sit in his lap as he rows us back to shore.
Chapter Twelve
“So is Jack picking you up from the airport or is your family going to be wearing some sort of flower costume wear?” Brianna laughs.
“Ha. I’m sure it would be an assortment of flowers and bees to go with the springtime.” I roll my eyes. “Yes, Jack is picking me up this time. With the babies visiting my family wants to stay home and coddle them, and Winter and River.”
“Ooh babies…Lauren, pretty soon that could be you.” She giggles.
“Not likely. I don’t even have a wedding date. There is no way babies are on Jack’s radar.”
“Speaking of radar, I see my hot new client. Catch ya later, Bay-bee.” Brianna laughs.
Bay-bee. Yes, not likely. I swallow at the reality of this. Things have been different between the two of us since our weekend at Pearl Inn. Strained and tense, not really much chatter. He’s flown up a few times and yes it was nice to see him. But every time he left it was a reminder of the fact that we don’t live in the same city or state.
Every time it was my turn to travel, I made some excuse as to why I couldn’t make the trip. Usually it was work related and in reality I have been really busy at work. This weekend is different, however. I’ve been pressured by almost every single member of my family about the importance of this big get-together over Mother’s Day weekend. Aurora and Luke will be there and we don’t know how many more Mother’s Days we will get to spend with my grandmother and all the grandkids together.
Since I hadn’t been making my scheduled trips, I had managed to save on the airfare and my regular savings account was beginning to flush out again. So I agreed to the trip. I only told Jack about it on Wednesday after I found out that my family wouldn’t be picking me up. He seemed surprised that I was coming and it was almost as if he had plans or something. He stopped me from saying I could take a cab or ask an old friend to pick me up.
Internally, I’ve been struggling with the idea of my relationship with Jack. I love him more than anything, but I can’t get past the fact that he won’t set a date. It’s just a number on a calendar—what more significance is it to him than when he actually proposed to me? I would have thought the actual act of proposing would have been more defining than setting a date, yet here we are almost six months later and nothing.
Being at the lake at Pearl Inn was enlightening… Jack opened up that he didn’t want me to see him fail. Which I understand…but I don’t understand him not wanting to share things with me. We should be talking about our future and planning it together. Instead, he is acting like I’m to sit sidesaddle while he has the reins. I swallow. We need to figure things out this weekend. I can’t continue on any further this way. We must set a date, whether he has his new firm location sorted or not.
I roll my eyes. I’ve got other numbers to deal with right now. Ever since the visit at the inn my team’s great number
s have been drifting into a not great zone. Especially Trent’s, which is why I am having a one-to-one with him in the next few minutes. A knock on my door breaks up my internal thoughts. I stand up and tug on my skirt. I chose this outfit because I knew I would be seeing Jack. A light blue buttoned-down blouse with pockets on the sleeves paired with a black skirt and matching blazer.
I open the door. Trent is standing at full attention and staring at me. His dark eyes are somber and a shade of grey. The bags underneath speak of nights of very little sleep. This is not the same guy I hired to be on my team several months ago. He is like a deflated Clark Kent…as if he has had one too many rounds with kryptonite.
“Hey Trent, come on in.” I close the door behind him and his shoulders slump as he takes a seat.
I round the corner of my desk and sit across from him. My eyes glance over the reports. The ones I prepared, not ones he has happily brought me.
“Are you okay, Trent? You seem…off.” I study his face.
“I’m fine.” Trent runs his hand through his hair, shifts in his seat, and straightens up.
“Okay, so we need to talk about—”
“Why didn’t you say you were engaged?” Trent laces his hands together and rests his head on his fingers.
I raise an eyebrow. “I’m sorry?”
“Are you?”
“Am I what?” I raise my eyebrows in question.
“Sorry? You could have told me. It was obvious that I was interested in you.” Trent pops his neck.
“Trent, listen, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I called this meeting to talk about your numbers, which are not good.” I press my lips together.
Trent rolls his eyes. “Of course they’re not good. How was I supposed to keep up with those numbers when it turns out you’re engaged?” He jerks his head back in disgust.
“Okay, like I said, I called this meeting to talk about your numbers. My relationship status is not up for discussion, okay?” I tap the report with my red pen.
“Gosh, Lauren, I’m sorry. You’re right. I need to get my emotions in order. I guess I was just surprised to hear that you were engaged…”