by Anna Robbins
Could one of his own?
He didn’t have anything else to lose at this point. His heart couldn’t feel more bruised than it did now.
With a madness that seemed to overwhelm him, he dug out a piece of paper, writing his own letter to Santa. Pouring out his heart and his own wish until he felt purged, exhausted from his feelings. Without an empty bottle, he grabbed a bottle of wine, uncaring which vintage it was as he poured out the contents, washing and drying it before placing his own letter inside.
Finished, he crawled into bed, praying for a few hours of sleep before the dawn of Christmas came. Only then would he’d go out and toss his wish in the ocean, hoping that someone, or something, would hear his wish and grant it.
Chapter 11
Abby hadn’t slept much the night before. Tossing and turning as her heart ached. Dylan had been trying to speak with her for three days, and she had turned him away, unable to face him.
She’d taken the time to reflect over what had happened over the last month. To think about the letter she had written, of what had developed because of it.
In her car, she hugged the curves of the canyon that led to the beach. That led to Tower 1 where it all began.
She had been angry when she had learned that Dylan had found the letter, thinking he had used it to make a fool of her. But as the days had passed, she realized that no matter what Dylan had done, no matter what his intentions had been, her wish had been granted.
She pulled into the deserted lot, parking in the first spot closest to the tower. Getting out of her car, she walked toward the structure, the late-December sand cold beneath her shoes.
Her wish, so desperately thrown into the water, had been granted. She had found someone she could love, had found someone to share the holidays with. Someone she could spend the rest of her life with.
He may not have been in love with her, but that didn’t matter now. What mattered was that she had loved. That she had grown, had experienced a love so blinding, so deep, that she was changed.
They may not have ended up together, but she would forever be grateful to him.
Maybe that’s what she should say to him. Thank him for everything. But it seemed too trivial. Perhaps it was better that she not see him again. To break cleanly from it all.
She was like this beach. Overcast, empty. But people would eventually come, filling up the lots, parking their coolers, towels, and umbrellas on the sand, running headlong in the water. This feeling of hollowness, of loneliness, would pass. Others would come into her life, and while she may never feel this aching love for another, she was grateful that she had had it once.
Looking out to the water, wondering what her life would be like, how she would go on after loving someone so deeply and not having that love returned, she didn’t hear the car that pulled into the lot, nor see the man that stepped out, faltering in his movements when he saw her leaning against the tower.
“Abby.” Her name was a whisper on the breeze, and she closed her eyes, her heart aching as she recognized Dylan’s voice. He was here. Had come to the beach where she had launched her dreams.
“Hello, Dylan,” she said, trying to give him a friendly smile as she turned to face him. It didn’t quite reach her eyes.
“I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“No. I imagine you didn’t.” She looked at his windswept face, memorizing each feature, sealing them away in her mind. He looked tired, just as she felt. Perhaps this last meeting, where they could part as friends, was for the best. “I’m glad you’re here though.”
“You are?” His eyes moved to hers.
“Yes. I’m sorry that I haven’t returned your calls. I just needed time.”
He stepped forward. “Abby, I want you to know that I never meant to hurt you.”
“I know that.” She saw a flash of disbelief in his eyes and wanted to soothe him. “Honestly, I know that you never meant to. I’ve known you for awhile now. I don’t think you would purposely cause me pain.”
“I wouldn’t. I’ve missed you so much over the last few days. It’s been killing me.”
“Me too.” She turned away, searching the ocean for answers. “But it isn’t enough.”
“What isn’t?”
“Don’t you see? It will never be the same now.”
He nodded slowly. “No it won’t. I don’t want it to be.”
She gulped, trying to fight back the pain after hearing him end it. She turned back to him, a wobbly smile on her face. “I understand. I hope we can part as friends.”
“Friends?” He looked confused.
Her gut clenched. She couldn’t stand the thought of them meaning nothing to each other. “Yes. At least I hope so. Don’t you?”
“Of course we’re friends.” Her body sighed in relief. “But I want to be more than that.”
She didn’t think it was possible, but her heart broke a little more. How could they build anything on such a flawed foundation? They were friends, as he said himself, but there were lies between them, secrets that made trust difficult. “I don’t know if I can.”
“And I can’t let you go.”
She took a deep, bracing breath of salt air, nothing could be resolved now. Time would only tell what would happen between them. She began to tell him so, only her eyes narrowed on what he was holding.
Another bottle?
“Why do you have that?”
He looked down at it, slowly lifting it between them. “I was going to throw it into the ocean.” He waited until her eyes met his. “Someone else threw a bottle into the ocean a while ago, with a letter to Santa. If her wish was granted, I wondered, even on Christmas Day, if my own could be as well.”
Her mouth opened and closed, but she couldn’t find the words. He was making his own wish? Tossing it into the water?
“Would you like to read it?” He held the bottle out to her.
Reaching out, she gripped the cool glass, spying a rolled up piece of paper in the dark depths. Her heart began to race as she took the paper out, and she wondered if it might leap out of her chest.
Her breath caught as she began to read his words.
Dear Santa,
I’m in love with a woman who is more amazing and kind than anyone I’ve ever met. She wished to find a love, true and lasting, for Christmas this year, and I found her wish. I love her with all of my heart, but I’ve also hurt her.
I’ve lost her. And it is tearing me up to know that I’m the cause of her pain. If Abby can find a man to love, as she has said she loves me, and I can return that love with all the passion and wonder I possess, then why couldn’t this letter find its way to her as well?
I wish for Abby. I wish to have her in my life forever. As my wife. I want to marry her and have children with her. I want to wake up every day and see her smiling at me, laughing together as our children race around us.
Please, Santa, grant me this one wish.
Sincerely,
Dylan
(Although I can’t promise as fervently as Abby that I’ve been good this year, I can promise that if my wish is granted, I’ll be extra good next year.)
A laugh escaped her lips the same time a tear slid down her cheek. She looked up at him with wonder in her eyes. “Is this true?”
“Every word.” With anguish and hope in his eyes, he searched hers. “I love you so much, Abby. I wanted to tell you at the Christmas party but everything got screwed up. After meeting you, I honestly forgot about the letter. I never meant to hurt you, never meant to make you feel humiliated. You mean everything to me.”
More tears tracked down her cheeks as her heart soared. Launching herself into his arms, she wrapped around him tightly. “I love you so much, Dylan. Thinking this was all some elaborate hoax on your part, I was crushed. The note that came with my letter said you tracked me down only to amuse yourself. I couldn’t bear the thought of it.”
He swore softly before gently taking her face in his hands. “That letter was a lie. Chari
sse sent it to hurt me.”
“Charisse? Your old girlfriend?”
“Yes. She came over to confront me and I told her that we had been over for some time. She was upset and I told her to take whatever belongings she had left there and leave. She must have found the bottle, realized that that was how I found you.” She felt him willing her to believe him. “But I swear, none of it was true.”
“I believe you.” Her hands streaked into his hair. “I believe you,” she said again before bringing his lips softly to her. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” He shakily let out a breath. “More that you’ll ever know. The time that I’ve spent with you means everything to me. You mean everything to me.” He grinned suddenly. “I guess Santa is real. Both of our wishes came true.”
“Not all of them.”
“What do you mean?”
“Wasn’t there more to your letter than just having me love you in return?” She felt the first true smile light her face as realization slowly dawned on his.
“Do you want to?” His jaw was slack.
“Do I want to what?” There was a twinkle in her eye.
“Will you marry me, Abby?”
She pretended to think it over before laughing again, holding him tightly against her. “Yes. Absolutely, yes.”
He picked her up, crushing her body against his as he captured her mouth. “You won’t regret it,” he said between kisses. “And I won’t let you get out of it either. You’re stuck now.”
“And so are you. So don’t be getting any ideas.”
“You’re all I’ve ever wanted. All I’ll ever need.”
“Just keep loving me.”
He kissed her softly, sealing the promise.
“I hate to cut this short,” she said, leaning back after their kiss. “But my family will be expecting me.” She wanted to smile when disappointment flashed to his face.
“You’re right.”
She began to walk toward her car before turning back to him. “Aren’t you coming?”
“You want me to come with you to your parents’ house?”
“Absolutely. I wouldn’t spend the holiday with anyone else.”
Linking hands, they walked toward their future, both knowing that this would be the first of many Christmases together.
*****