by Genna Denton
“What are you gonna do? Some big shot; couldn’t even save your girl from being put in the hospital last night.” Shane sneered.
Ryder clenched his teeth. “Who told you about that?”
Shane leaned in, and with his cocky attitude said, “The guy who put her there.”
Ryder laughed and looked away. “You know what I like about you, Shane?” he asked, then suddenly threw his whole body into a punch that landed on Shane’s jaw. “Nothin’. And you know why? Because you are nothing. You spend your nights wasted and your days picking fights, and why? Normal teenage rebellion? You’re a poster-child for pathetic. And the truth is, when you’re gone and your life is over, no one will even notice.”
Shane lunged at Ryder and the two landed on the floor, exchanging blows. Ryder was on top when two teachers pulled them apart.
“Both of you, my office. Now!” Principal Wood said.
***
Kay sat on a picnic table of the park she used to play at when she was younger. She looked down at her watch. It was almost five o’clock. Could she really have sat here all day just thinking? She shivered and rubbed her arms with her hands. Even after her childhood had ended, she would often escape to this familiar place. It was peaceful and quiet. The fence that wrapped around the park made her feel safe. Past the fence was a cliff that overlooked the ocean. She looked over at the swings, remembering her and Zander’s happy days spent here. Why did things have to change? Zander was always the one she could count on, the only one. Maybe she’d taken him for granted. Maybe she never realized just how much he meant to her.
“Hey.” Kay jumped as Zander’s familiar voice broke through her thoughts. She looked behind her to see him strolling up the grass; his backpack swung over one shoulder. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
He sat down next to her. She returned her gaze to the front. “It’s okay, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at work?”
“I’m looking for you,” he said with a soft smile. “You didn’t show up at school today so I got worried. What happened?”
Kay returned the smile. “I didn’t feel like going.” She looked down and tightened her grip around her body. She thought about asking how he knew she could be found there, but that was a stupid question. She always came to this park. “I‘ve just had a rough day.”
”You wanna talk about it?” Zander asked.
She sniffled, noticing she’d started to tear up. “Everything. My life, my dad, the group, you. I just can’t take anything else.” Another shiver ran up her spine, giving her goose bumps and making her squirm a little.
“Are you cold?” he asked. She nodded and he removed his jacket and draped it over her shoulders. “Ya know, I hate how hard things are on you.”
“You don’t have to say that. You’re always saving me…I kind of feel…” A few tears slid down her cheeks and her words caught in her throat, making her choke. “I kind of feel like I’ve cheated you out of a lot…like maybe I shouldn’t have leaned on you so much. I think it’d be best if I just took a few steps back and let you be. Ya know? I think I should leave you alone, let you Shiri be together.”
“Kay, you’re not standing in the way. You’re my best friend. Actually, I don’t think that word is strong enough for what you mean to me.” Zander put his arm around her. “And as for Shiri, she’s totally cool with you and me. She’s a pretty amazing girl.”
She smiled. “You really care about her don’t you?”
“Yeah, I do.” He said it with such certainty, and despite the fact that Zander was sitting here with her, with his jacket wrapped around her and his arms around her shoulders, Kay couldn’t help but feel like she was losing her best friend.
“My mom’s having an affair,” she said.
“What? Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. I called her at like six this morning. I was gonna tell her about dad, about everything. I heard another guy in the background call her baby, then she rushed me off the phone and said she’d call me back. She hasn’t.”
“I’m so sorry, Kay.” Zander pulled her into a hug. The warmth of his arms wrapped around her, circling her with safety. Breathing in the scent of his cologne, she felt her body calm. Though most of the time her mind raced with anxiety and fear, Zander always managed to bring about a stillness in her, a peaceful quiet that she longed for when they were apart. She never realized just how much she leaned on him until now.
Pulling back, she looked into his eyes, so overcome with comfort that she didn’t realize she’d leaned in and pressed her mouth against his. Feeling the softness of his full lips, the heat that rushed to hers when he opened them, welcoming her kiss, her body caught fire. Looping her arms around his neck, she pulled him closer, wishing they could merge into one being, wishing she could have him with her always.
“Whoa, whoa, Kay…” Putting his hands on her shoulders he pulled away from her, creating an unbearable space between them.
“What?”
“Look, I know you’re feeling a little lost and vulnerable right now, and you’re trying to make a connection, but I…” He trailed off.
“You…don’t want to be with me?”
“Since I was five,” he said with a chuckle, as if she should’ve known that already. But she’d never seen it, never seen the chance she’d had. Was the opportunity gone for good? “But…not like this.”
The humiliation washed over her, filling her with the urge to crawl inside someplace dark, secluded, and safe. He thought she was acting out—latching on to the first male body she could find and using that as a way to get back at her father, or compensate for his lack of affection. He had no idea that kiss awakened something in her…something she hadn’t even known existed. What did she feel for him? Why did she run to him when she was hurt? Why did she cling to him so closely? Why was she so jealous of Shiri? The answer was so simple, and yet she’d failed to see it. She loved Zander as much more than a friend, probably had for a long time. But she couldn’t find the words to tell him. Shrugging out of his jacket, she backed away from him. “I—I’m sorry.”
“Kay, wait!”
She didn’t stop, though, couldn’t stop, not without bursting into tears. Time—that’s what she needed. Time to think and sort this out, work up the courage to tell him how she felt.
***
From his spot in the school’s parking lot, Alex could see the crowded bleachers that flanked the football field. The rumble of conversations carried over to him where he stood leaned against the front bumper of the car.
It shouldn’t be so hard. All he’d have to do is give Wakefield’s knee a super-powered kick and he’d be out of the game for awhile, if not forever. But then, what consequences would that have in the long run? Who would Wakefield become if his football dream was shattered? Would he turn out just like Alex’s dad, always trying to accomplish his dream through his child?
Alex had to give himself props for even thinking about the consequences. He’d never done that before, not once. When he’d slept with Kelly, he’d never dreamed he’d get her pregnant. When he followed his dad’s orders, he had no idea it’d cause so much damage. And if he followed orders now, what would happen, and could he live with it?
He didn’t want to find out. As he looked down at the football field, he realized he didn’t want to go out there at all. The dream he’d worked so hard to fulfill meant nothing to him now. He heard footsteps come up behind him, and he knew who it was, but didn’t turn to look at her. Instead, he just said, “Hey, Kelly.”
“Hi,” she replied quietly, moving to sit next to him by the bumper. “What are you doing up here? The game starts in a few minutes. Shouldn’t you be on the field by now?”
“I’m not playing tonight,” he said as he decided.
“Why not?” She was already dressed for homecoming, and he figured it was because she’d volunteered to help set up. Wrapping her black shawl around her shoulders, she glanced over at him. The black and pink homec
oming dress gave her an edgier look than she normally had, more punk-rocker instead of preppy-princess, and he had to admit he liked it. She looked amazing with her hair pulled off her neck, wrapped up in some kind of fancy, curly bun. Her dress came down just past her knees and her long legs led to sexy, strappy high heels. But he wouldn’t let himself think about her beauty or the attraction that burned in his gut. It was better not to torture himself with fantasies that would never happen.
He shrugged, turning his gaze back to the field. He needed to get out of here soon if he didn’t want his dad to find him and drag him into the game.
“I’ve been thinking,” Kelly said, her voice cutting through his thoughts like a sharp knife. “Maybe I’ve been a little hard on you.”
Alex nodded his head. “The thought occurred to me,” he said with a small laugh.
She chuckled. “It’s what I do…when I feel guilty, I shift the blame. Pass the buck, so to speak. I just…I don’t know…I’ve been thinking a lot today. About all the mistakes I’ve made. I’d like to blame them all on you, but I can’t…and trying to isn’t fair to either of us.” Kelly looked down at her hands.
Alex picked another twig from the bush and repeated the motion of tearing it into tiny pieces. He knew Kelly like he knew the back of his hand, and although he knew her apology was genuine, he knew it stemmed from something recent. Something had happened, something that upset her and made her think. Kelly wasn’t the type of person to sit around and contemplate and suddenly decide she was to blame. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
“Talk about what?”
“Whatever happened that brought on this epiphany of yours.”
Kelly gave a small laugh and then looked at the side walk. “I just never stop making mistakes. Same song, different verse. I think someone wants to be with me, and I’ll give myself over and it’s all just dashed.”
Alex felt a twinge of guilt because he knew it had all started with him. “Was it Gage?”
“I don’t know why I like him,” she admitted. “I mean, he’s gruff and grumpy most of the time. I guess it’s stupid to think he’d want to be with anybody but Peyton. But when I see how he is with Lizzie...”
“I’m lost,” Alex said, hating to interrupt her. “Who are Lizzie and Peyton?”
“Oh. Sorry, I keep forgetting it’s his big secret. Peyton is his dead wife, and Lizzie’s his daughter.”
As Kelly filled him in on Gage’s tragic marriage that ended in a school shooting, Alex had a hard time believing someone his age could be married, let alone widowed, and he suddenly understood why Gage always looked so sullen and angry. He wondered where Kelly’s attraction stemmed from. Did she like Gage for his colorful personality? Or was it because Gage had made the exact opposite decisions that Alex had made? Did Kelly even know the answer to that question?
“You look a million miles away,” Kelly said, sucking him out of his trance. “What is it?”
“Nothing.” He shook his head, trying not to be jealous, not to be completely shattered by the fact that Kelly was attracted to a single father so much braver than himself. But he was only human, and he couldn’t help it. He was jealous. He was pissed at himself, and at his dad. He was just angry, period.
“I’m sorry,” he said, dipping his head in shame. “I thought I could hear this, but I can’t. Kay’s pretty cool. Maybe you could talk to her. I just...I can’t.”
“You can’t what? You can’t listen to me talk about—”
“A guy with a kid he adores? No, sorry.” He cleared his throat, fighting the flood of emotion that threatened to incapacitate him. “I’m still crazy about you, but you already know that, don’t you?”
She looked over at him, her eyes full of surprising wisdom and peace, maybe even a little regret. “I know.”
Tapping his foot against the pavement, he kept his gaze on his sneakers. “Do you think there’s any chance for us?”
Kelly took a deep breath. “I don’t know,” she whispered. “Maybe someday.”
Acting on his impulse, Alex reached out to touch her, but she recoiled. He knew he should respect her boundaries, but he couldn’t care about that right now. Reaching out, he cupped her face in his hands. “I know you’ve heard my apology a thousand times, so I’m not going to burden you with it again. But here’s something that I haven’t told you. You deserve better. Better than me, better than Gage. Don’t let either one of us drag you down.”
“You don’t get it, do you?” Kelly whispered, a disbelieving laugh in her voice. “All of this…the fighting…it’s not because I hate you. It’s because I hate myself.”
“Hate yourself?” Alex grasped for her hands, but she pulled away.
“You don’t get it.” Her eyes filled with tears and she sniffled in an attempt to keep them from falling. “It was a part of you and a part of me. When we went to that clinic, we killed a part of ourselves too. And, I just…I just don’t know if we can ever get that back.”
She pulled away from him, and before she even moved another inch, he knew she was getting ready to run across the parking lot. “Kelly, don’t run away, you do it all the time! Please just talk to me.”
“I didn’t come here to fight, Alex. I didn’t come for one of these long, repetitive conversations you always seem to want. I just came to give you this.” Her hands trembled a little as she opened her small handbag and slipped her fingers inside. She pulled out a picture and handed it to him.
His breath caught in his throat when he realized it was the sonogram photo he’d asked for. With that small act of kindness, he felt himself fall in love with her all over again. He knew Kelly, and this was her way of accepting his apology, her way of telling him that she acknowledged his pain, too. Just the thought that she didn’t blame him as much as she used to lifted a giant weight from his chest and for the first time in months, he felt like he could breathe.
She must’ve seen the intensity of the emotions he was feeling—she’d always told him he wore his feelings on his face—because she backed away. Darting between two parked cars, she then ran across the sidewalk and over the crosswalk until she was on the other side of the street where her car was parked.
If he could just catch her before she left, he knew he could make things better. Alex dashed after her, running into the street without even looking.
He didn’t see the car speeding in his direction until it was too late. The headlights blinded him and he realized what would happen, but there was nowhere to go. The car slammed into his body, shoving him up onto the hood. Before he ever felt the pain, he crashed into the windshield and then rolled back down the hood and onto the pavement. As if every sound was delayed, he heard the squeal of the brakes, the crackling of glass. He heard his bones break as an unbearable, gut-wrenching pain ripped through his body. He lifted his head off the bloody pavement to see Kelly in the distance, running toward him calling out his name. She sounded so far away…so far. Then everything faded to black.
The From the Damage saga continues…
Look for Book 3, Collateral Damage
Summer 2013
About the Authors
Genna Denton
When not working on her new short-story series, From the Damage, she enjoys dancing and painting. However, most of her time goes to raising her adorable two-year-old daughter.
Jasmine Denton
Jasmine Denton wrote her first novel at the age of 18 and published her debut, Inner Demons, five years later. Now she is the author of six novels and is currently hard at work on Collateral Damage, coming soon. If you enjoyed From the Damage, Jasmine’s other works include:
To learn more about Jasmine, you can follow her on Twitter (@JasmineLDenton) or visit her blog @ jasmineldenton.wordpress.com
his book with friends