The Boat-wreck

by Rabindranath Tagore

  Rising to his feet, Akshay said, ‘Why didn’t you say so earlier? Ramesh-babu keeps everything close to his heart, and then gets frantic when there’s no time any more.’

  After Akshay had left, Ramesh lowered his eyes to gaze at his shoes and said, ‘Annada-babu, you have given me the right to treat your home like a member of the family. I do not have the words to tell you how fortunate I consider myself because of this.’

  Annada-babu said, ‘But of course. You are a friend of our Jogen’s, I cannot possibly think of you as anything but family.’

  The preamble done, Ramesh could not decide what to say next. To make things easier for him, Annada-babu said, ‘It is my extreme good fortune to be able to draw you into our family circle, Ramesh.’

  Ramesh continued to be at a loss for words.

  Annada-babu went on, ‘You know, people have started saying all sorts of things about you. They say it is time for Hemnalini to get married, that one cannot be too careful about the company she keeps. I tell them, I trust Ramesh implicitly – he will never do us wrong.’

  Ramesh finally said, ‘You know everything there is to know about me, Annada-babu, if you consider me suitable for your daughter…’

  ‘Of course, of course. We have practically decided – it’s just that the mishap in your family has prevented a date from being set. But, my boy, it won’t be right to delay any more. People are talking – it is our duty to stop them as quickly as possible. Don’t you agree?’

  ‘It shall be as you wish. Of course, it is necessary to obtain your daughter’s consent.’

  ‘Indeed. But that has more or less been obtained. Still, I shall get a firm answer from her tomorrow morning.’

  ‘I am keeping you from going to bed, let me leave now.’

  ‘Wait a minute. I think it’s best if the wedding takes place before we go to Jabalpur.’

  ‘That’s not too far away.’

  ‘No, there are still ten days to go. If the wedding takes place next Sunday, there will still be two or three days to prepare for the journey. I wouldn’t have rushed you, Ramesh, but my health worries me.’

  Ramesh agreed and, swallowing a pill, went home.

  13

  The school holidays were approaching. Ramesh had already made arrangements with the principal for Kamala to stay at the school hostel during the holidays.

  Waking up early the next morning and taking a walk on the deserted roads, Ramesh decided to disclose all the details about Kamala to Hemnalini after their marriage. There would be an opportunity to tell Kamala everything too. Once everything had been clarified, Kamala would be able to live with Hemnalini easily as a friend. Because people might talk here in Calcutta, he had decided to move to Hazaribagh and practise law there.

  Ramesh went to Annada-babu’s house after his morning walk, and ran into Hemnalini on the stairs. On any other day a conversation would have ensued, but today Hemnalini reddened, and a trace of a smile appeared through her blushes like the light of dawn. Averting her face, she lowered her eyes and ran away.

  Going back home, Ramesh began to relentlessly play on his harmonium the tune Hemnalini had taught him. But he could hardly play the same melody all day. He tried to read poetry – but none of the poems appeared to reach the pinnacle to which the notes of love had climbed.

  As for Hemnalini, having completed all her household tasks with indefatigable joy, she had shut her bedroom door in the quiet afternoon to sit down with her needlework. She felt fulfilled, tranquil, happy.

  Discarding his volume of verses and his harmonium, Ramesh arrived at Annada-babu’s house well before teatime. On other days he wasted no time meeting Hemnalini, but today he found both the dining room and the drawing room on the first floor empty. Hemnalini had not yet left her bedroom to come downstairs.

  Annada-babu appeared punctually and sat down at the table. Ramesh kept throwing impatient glances at the door.

  Footsteps were heard, but it was Akshay who entered. Exuding warmth, he said, ‘There you are, Ramesh-babu, I’ve just been to your house.’

  A shadow of anxiety appeared on Ramesh’s face.

  Smiling, Akshay said, ‘What are you worried about, Ramesh-babu? I wasn’t there to attack you. It is the duty of friends to congratulate one another on hearing good news – I was there to discharge my duty.’

  This reminded Annada-babu that Hemnalini was not present. Calling out to her, and receiving no reply, he went upstairs and said, ‘What’s this, Hem, still sewing? Tea is ready. Ramesh and Akshay are here.’

  Reddening a little, Hemnalini said, ‘Send my cup of tea upstairs, Baba, I want to finish this needlework today.’

  ‘This is what’s wrong with you, Hem. You get so obsessed with things that you forget everything else. When you were reading, you wouldn’t abandon your book for a moment. Now it’s needlework, and all else has stopped. No, you cannot do this – come downstairs and have your tea with us.’

  Annada-babu practically forced Hemnalini to accompany him downstairs. Without casting a look at the others, she busied herself pouring the tea at once.

  Annada-babu said testily, ‘What do you think you’re doing, Hem? Why are you adding sugar to my tea? You know I never have mine with sugar.’

  Akshay chuckled. ‘She cannot control her generosity today –she is determined to distribute all that is sweet.’

  Ramesh found this open taunting intolerable. He decided at once that, no matter what, Akshay would not be part of their lives once they were married.

  ‘You’d better change your name, Ramesh-babu,’ said Akshay.

  Even more irked by this attempt at humour, Ramesh said, ‘Why, exactly?’

  Unfolding the newspaper, Akshay said, ‘Here, a student with the same name as yours tried to get someone else to take an examination for him – he has been caught.’

  Hemnalini knew that Ramesh was incapable of repartee –which was why she was the one who had retaliated all this time against each of the barbs that Akshay had thrown at Ramesh. She couldn’t contain herself today, either. Restraining her growing rage, she said with a covert smile, ‘There must be several convicts named Akshay in jail.’

  Akshay said, ‘See, you get angry at friendly advice. Let me tell you the whole story then. As you know, my younger sister Sarat studies at the girls’ school. Last evening, she told me, “Dada, your Ramesh-babu’s wife studies in our school.” “Don’t be silly,” I said, “is our Ramesh-babu the only Ramesh in the world?” “Whoever he might be,” Sarat said, “he’s being very unjust with his wife. Most of the girls are going home for the holidays, but he has made arrangements for her to stay in the hostel. The poor girl is weeping buckets.” I told myself, this isn’t right, others may make the same mistake that Sarat did.’

  Annada-babu laughed. ‘What are you saying, Akshay? Is our Ramesh supposed to change his name because some other Ramesh’s wife is weeping in school?’

  An ashen Ramesh left the room suddenly. Akshay said, ‘What’s all this, Ramesh-babu, are you leaving because you’re angry? Do you think I’m suspecting you?’ He followed Ramesh out of the room.

  ‘What’s all this?’ said Annada-babu.

  Hemnalini burst into tears.

  ‘Why, Hem, why are you crying?’ a troubled Annada-babu said.

  She answered, her voice choked with tears, ‘This is so wrong of Akshay-babu, Baba. Why does he have to insult someone in our house?’

  ‘Akshay said something in jest,’ said Annada-babu. ‘Was there any need to react so violently?’

  ‘This kind of humour is unbearable,’ said Hemnalini, rushing upstairs.

  After his return to Calcutta, Ramesh had tried very hard to find Kamala’s husband. Having located Dhobapukur with great effort, he had written a letter to Kamala’s uncle Tarinicharan.

  The reply came the next morning. Tarinicharan had written that there had been no news whatsoever of his son-in-law Nalinaksha since the accident. He used to practise medicine in Rangpur – Tarinicharan had written to peopl
e there, but they had no news either. Tarinicharan did not know Nalinakasha’s birthplace.

  Any hope that Kamala’s husband Nalinaksha may have been alive was obliterated from Ramesh’s mind.

  Ramesh received several other letters that morning. Many of his acquaintances had written to congratulate him on his impending marriage. Some of them had demanded an invitation to a meal, others had levelled good-humoured accusations of being secretive.

  A servant of Annada-babu’s appeared with a letter. Ramesh’s heart lurched when he saw the script.

  Hemnalini had written. Ramesh concluded that what Akshay had said had made her suspicious, and she had written to him to dispel her doubts.

  Unfolding the letter, he found only a few short sentences.

  ‘Akshay-babu behaved abominably with you yesterday. I had expected you this morning, why didn’t you come? Why are you taking what Akshay-babu said to heart? You know very well I pay no attention to him. Please come quickly – I’ll set my needlework aside.’

  Sensing the pain in Hemnalini’s kind, tender heart, Ramesh felt tears spring to his eyes. He realized that she had been waiting eagerly to soothe his suffering. The night had passed this way and so had the morning. Finally, unable to take it any more, she had written this letter.

  Since yesterday, Ramesh had been telling himself that it was necessary to disclose everything to Hemnalini without any further delay. But it had become difficult after this incident. It would seem as though he was justifying himself now that he had been found out. Moreover, it would mean a victory of sorts for Akshay, which was intolerable.

  Ramesh surmised that Akshay believed that Kamala’s husband was some other Ramesh. For, if he knew, he would not have stopped at hints but would have shouted it from the rooftops. So he should act while there was still time.

  Another letter arrived in the post. It was from the principal of the girls’ school saying that Kamala was distraught and she did not consider it wise to let her stay at the school hostel under these circumstances. The school would close for the holidays the following Saturday – it was essential that he make arrangements to take her home.

  Kamala would have to be brought home from the school next Saturday. Ramesh was to be married next Sunday!

  ‘You must forgive me, Ramesh-babu,’ said Akshay as he entered the room. ‘Had I known that a harmless joke would upset you so much, I would never have mentioned it. People are usually enraged when a joke holds the germ of truth, but why did you have to be angry in the company of other people over something completely baseless? Annada-babu has been scolding me constantly – Hemnalini has stopped talking to me. When I visited them this morning, she left the room. What have I done that is so heinous?’

  ‘All this can be considered when the time is right. Excuse me for now – I have some urgent business to attend to.’

  ‘Off to hire the musicians for the wedding? There isn’t much time, that’s true. I shan’t come between you and your happy tasks, I shall take my leave.’

  Ramesh-babu arrived at Annada-babu’s house after Akshay’s departure. He ran into Hemnalini at the door. She must have prepared herself for an early visit from him. Her needlework was folded and put away on one side of the table. The harmonium was next to her – she was hoping for a discussion about music, not to mention the ever-present unsung melodies.

  Hemnalini’s face brightened as soon as Ramesh entered, a tender expression appearing on it. But the glow disappeared when the first thing that Ramesh said was, ‘Where’s Annada-babu?’

  Hemnalini answered, ‘He’s in his sitting room. Why? Do you need to talk to him at once? He’ll come downstairs when it’s time for his cup of tea.’

  ‘I have something urgent to tell him. It won’t be right to wait.’

  ‘He’s in his room.’

  Ramesh left. It was urgent. Only what was urgent could not wait. But love had to wait outside the door for attention.

  With a sigh, the unsullied autumn day shut the golden gates to the treasure trove of happiness. Moving the stool away from the harmonium, Hemnalini engaged herself with her sewing. The needle ran through not just the fabric but also her heart. Ramesh’s urgent business with her father was not disposed of quickly. Urgency, like a king, took all the time it could. And love was a beggar.

  14

  Ramesh entered Annada-babu’s room. He was asleep in his armchair, his face covered by a newspaper. As Ramesh coughed discreetly, Annada-babu sat up, startled, and held out the newspaper, saying, ‘Have you seen the number of people who have died of cholera this year?’

  ‘The wedding will have to be postponed,’ said Ramesh. ‘I have some important business to attend to.’

  The list of the dead in the city was immediately wiped out from Annada-babu’s mind. Staring at Ramesh for a moment, he said, ‘What are you saying, Ramesh! The invitations have been sent.’

  Ramesh said, ‘We can distribute fresh invitations right away for the Sunday after next instead.’

  ‘You surprise me, Ramesh. Do you think this a court hearing which you can postpone at your convenience? What is this important business of yours?’

  ‘It’s very important, it cannot be delayed.’

  Annada-babu slumped in his armchair like a tree bent by the wind. ‘Cannot be delayed,’ he said. ‘Very well. Excellent. Do as you please. Withdraw the invitations in whatever manner you see fit. When people ask me I will say, “I know nothing about this – he alone knows what he wants, he alone can tell you when it will be convenient for him.”’ Ramesh did not answer, his eyes downcast. Annada-babu said, ‘Has Hemnalini been informed?’

  ‘No, she does not know yet.’

  ‘It is essential for her to know. It’s not just you who’s getting married.’

  ‘I decided to inform you before telling her.’

  ‘Hem! Hem!’ Annada-babu called out to his daughter.

  ‘What is it, Baba?’ asked Hemnalini, entering the room.

  ‘Ramesh says he has some important business to attend to and does not have the time to get married now.’

  Hemnalini looked at Ramesh, her face shorn of colour. Ramesh remained silent, like a man pronounced guilty.

  He had not expected the news to be broken to Hemnalini in this manner. Deep in his agonizing heart, Ramesh sensed what a terrible, heartbreaking blow this unpleasant news had dealt Hemnalini. But an arrow once fired cannot be recalled – and Ramesh saw it strike cruelly at Hemnalini’s heart.

  The blow could not be softened now. It was all true – the wedding would have be postponed, Ramesh had some urgent business to finish, and he was not inclined to reveal what it was. What explanation could there be over and above this?

  Annada-babu told Hemnalini, ‘This is between the two of you; you have to settle this.’

  Lowering her eyes, Hemnalini said, ‘I know nothing about this, Baba.’ She left the room like the fading rays of the sun at the advent of storm clouds.

  Annada-babu raised his newspaper in front of his eyes and pretended to read while sunk in thought. Ramesh sat in silence.

  A little later, he jumped to his feet and went out of the room. In the large drawing room he discovered Hemnalini standing near the window in silence. Calcutta was preparing for the Puja holidays, teeming crowds flowing past like a river at high tide.

  Hesitant about walking up to her, Ramesh observed her from the back for a while. Her silent figure framed in the window by the afternoon light of autumn painted a permanent portrait in his mind. A part of her face, the carefully done up coiffure, the stray lock of soft hair falling on her neck, the hint of a gold necklace below them, the winding line of the end of her sari cascading down from her left shoulder, all etched permanent lines on his troubled heart.

  Slowly Ramesh went up to Hemnalini, who seemed more interested in the people passing by on the street than in Ramesh. His voice choking, Ramesh said, ‘I have just one request to make of you.’

  When she felt the pain rising in his voice, Hemnalini’s expression so
ftened at once. ‘Don’t lose your trust in me,’ said Ramesh, addressing Hemnalini intimately for the first time. ‘Tell me that you will never stop trusting me. And as God is my witness, I promise that I will never betray your trust.’

  Ramesh could talk no more, tears welling up in his eyes. Raising her soft, compassionate eyes, Hemnalini looked at him. And then tears began to flow from her eyes too. Soon a golden heaven of silence, peace and comfort was created between them in the secluded spot by the window.

  Having submitted himself to this deep, tear-soaked silence, Ramesh emitted a sigh of comfort and said, ‘Do you not want to know why I have proposed postponing the wedding by a week?’

  Hemnalini shook her head without a word – she did not want to know.

  ‘I will tell you everything once we are married,’ Ramesh told her.

  Hemnalini reddened slightly.

  While dressing after lunch in anticipation of meeting Ramesh, Hemnalini had conjured up scenes of conversations and laughter, of secret exchanges, of many a small joy. But she couldn’t have imagined the deep happiness, the sense of boundless peace and the extreme reassurance offered by this exchange of trust, just like a vow of marriage. Tears flowed but no words were spoken and they stood side by side for a while.

  ‘Go and talk to Baba, he’s annoyed,’ said Hemnalini.

  Ramesh left cheerfully, ready to weather every blow, every conflict, small or large.

  15

  Annada-babu looked anxiously at Ramesh when he re-entered.

  ‘If you gave me the list of invitees,’ said Ramesh, ‘I could dispatch the letters announcing the change of date at once.’

  ‘So there is a change of date?’ said Annada-babu.

  ‘Yes, I see no other way,’ said Ramesh.

  ‘In that case, I shall have no part in this,’ declared Annada-babu. ‘You can make all the arrangements yourself. I cannot become the laughing stock of people. If you wish to treat marriage like a plaything, a man of my age had better not be involved. Here is the list of invitees. I have spent a good deal of money already, which will all go waste. I do not have the means to squander money over and over again.’