Mr. Darcy and the Secret of Becoming a Gentleman

by Maria Hamilton

  “But you came all this way. It would have been no trouble at all to leave it.”

  “Yes, well… perhaps I acted too rashly. I thought there would be another opportunity. I am sorry for any inconvenience that I may have caused.”

  Sincerely puzzled by his behavior, she replied in a distracted tone, “No, there is no inconvenience. I hope I have not unnecessarily troubled you.”

  “Not at all.” As a prolonged silence overtook them, Darcy cursed himself for his inability to express his feelings. He felt too exposed to explain further.

  Before they could continue any further, Caroline Bingley spoke in a voice clearly meant for the whole of the table. “Mrs. Bennet, earlier tonight you and I were discussing one of our neighbors, Sir William’s son, Mr. Lucas. I want to thank you for your kindly suggestion that my brother call on him. We do so want to become more at home in the area. I believe you mentioned that he is the oldest son and therefore destined to inherit Lucas Lodge. Is that correct?” As she finished speaking, she gave Elizabeth a self-satisfied smile before resuming her attention to Mrs. Bennet. In that moment, Elizabeth suddenly realized what her mother’s previous talk about John Lucas entailed and Miss Bingley’s delight in having it exposed to the whole of the table.

  “Oh, yes. You are quite right. One day he will be the master of Lucas Lodge, and while its income is nothing in comparison to Netherfield, it will be quite sufficient. When he was younger, he was inclined to let his mind wander from one thing to another, but as of late, he has become quite interested in the running of the estate. When he called today, we discussed that very subject. I think, like most men, he longs to settle down. I would not be surprised if another wedding is not soon announced. He has always paid particular attention to our Lizzy.”

  As her mother finished speaking, Elizabeth momentarily closed her eyes in shame. She knew it had the potential of escalating her mother’s impropriety, but could not hold her tongue. “Mama, this is hardly the place to discuss such a thing. You have completely misinterpreted the situation.”

  “Nonsense, Lizzy, we are all practically family now. Well, of course not Mr. Darcy. But in as much as he is in charge of his sister’s happiness, he must understand the importance of a woman securing a good match. Lizzy, you cannot wait forever, and you would do quite well to be the mistress of Lucas Lodge.”

  Smiling condescendingly, Caroline Bingley added, “Yes, Lucas Lodge does seem a lovely little estate. Did you say he called here today?”

  “Yes, he was quite disappointed that he could not stay for dinner, but he promised to call again tomorrow. He took special care to ensure that Lizzy would be home to receive him.”

  In a desperate voice, Elizabeth whispered, “Mother, please.”

  “Oh, Lizzy,” interrupted Lydia, “You know you have always liked him. I never understood why the two of you have waited so long. I know that I will marry as soon as I have the opportunity.”

  At this, Mr. Bingley asked in a tone slightly too loud, “Darcy, speaking of your sister. How is she?”

  Looking down at his plate, he replied in a grave voice, “She is quite well, Charles, thank you.”

  Ignorant to all that had transpired, Mrs. Bennet added, “Mr. Darcy, I remember you saying that your sister is not yet out. You should not wait forever. I know that you apparently have no need of a wife just yet, but it would not do for you to put it off for too long. Matters of the heart change very quickly, and all of the good prospects may be gone by the time you decide to act. The early bird does get the worm.”

  Keeping his eyes on the plate in front of him, he simply replied, “Thank you, madam, I will consider it.” Mercifully, Mr. Bingley was able to turn the conversation to a discussion of when Maria Lucas came out and then a lengthy discourse on which of Mrs. Philips’s daughters were out. As the discussion raged about them, Darcy and Elizabeth sat in silence.

  After finally recovering from her embarrassment, Elizabeth raised her head to look tentatively at Mr. Darcy from her position at his side. From her vantage point, she could see his embarrassment and mortification. But she could also detect something else; she thought it akin to despair. She suddenly understood his position. Impulsively she brought her hand to her lap and then slowly moved it toward Mr. Darcy’s chair where his hand sat by his side. With a surge of determination, she reached over, took his hand, laced her fingers in his, and squeezed his hand to express her reassurance. Keeping her head down, she moved her eyes to the side of his face. His eyes flew open. He then darted a glance at her and then back down again. He then swept a look about the table to see if anyone had noticed anything. No one had. As he tried to understand what had happened, he began to feel a warming in his chest and a giddy feeling in his stomach that was spreading, but before he could react further or get used to the comfort of her hand in his, she began slowly to pull her hand away. It took him a moment before he reacted. He then tightened his grip on her hand and brought it back to rest by his leg. He then broke into a wide grin. It was now her turn to look over at him in surprise. Flustered, she attempted to pull her hand back again. To the extent she was able to pull it a few inches toward her, he swiftly moved it back to its original resting place. She attempted to pull her hand away again, but he would not relent. He locked his arm and continued to apply pressure so that both their hands remained resting on his chair. Seeing that she would gain no ground in a physical struggle with him, she turned her head to him and asked, “Mr. Darcy, are you quite well? You look a little flushed.”

  Turning to look at her, he was unable to repress a smile so broad it made his eyes twinkle as he said, “Thank you, Miss Bennet, I am fine,” adding with emphasis, “I truly appreciate your concern, though. I was feeling slightly uncomfortable before, but I suddenly feel remarkably well.” She flashed him an impish look and attempted to extract her hand again. He simply smiled, exposing both of his dimples, and pulled her hand back. He then asked, “Miss Bennet, if I may be so bold, you look a little flushed yourself. Are you comfortable?”

  “Actually, sir, I am not. I believe it is too hot in here.”

  With a smug smile, he leaned toward her and said, “I am sorry to hear that, but maybe if you tried to relax you might be more comfortable. Just a few moments ago, I was feeling quite overwhelmed, as if the confines of the room were too close, but now my entire outlook has changed. I am enjoying myself exceedingly well. I can honestly say that I hope this dinner never ends.”

  “Mr. Darcy, the evening will eventually end. It will follow the same course of every other dinner, and as such, when the main course is served, I believe both of us will be expected to cut our own meat.”

  “You are probably right. But in the meantime, I will simply enjoy this course.”

  Chapter 16

  QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

  Unfortunately for Darcy, the soup course was served swiftly. As the dishes were placed in front of them, Elizabeth gave him a quick look of expectancy. He responded with a resigned smile. But he did not intend to relinquish her hand as easily as his expression implied. Before he let it go, he brought his other hand to where their joined hands were resting. He then cradled her hand in his own as he traced his thumb in small circles on her palm. Elizabeth felt a shiver go down her spine. She knew her cheeks must be bright pink from the sensation. He then gently squeezed her hand before letting go, hoping that she had felt the poignancy of their connection.

  Elizabeth initially retrieved her hand with a sense of relief. She dared not imagine how the inhabitants of the dining room would have reacted had they been caught in such a wanton display. Her relief was soon replaced with a series of other emotions: a sense of loss from the absence of his touch, giddiness at her daring, humor at the ridiculousness of the circumstances that propelled her to act, mortification at her lack of propriety, and, ultimately, doubt as to the manner in which her gesture was received. As she stole a look at Mr. Darcy, she realized that once again, she could not quite fathom his frame of mind.

  As t
hey both sat there looking at their plates, Darcy wondered what he could say to her in this setting. His joy and relief at her taking his hand could not be understated, but he knew there was still much between them that was unsettled. He remembered his vow from the previous evening to tell her how he felt, even at the risk of losing all that he had gained with her, and determined to stick to his original course of action. He would disregard John Lucas’s presence completely. At the very least, her overture toward him was clearly meant to reassure him in that regard. Whatever her mother thought, Lucas was not a competitor for her affections, and she would never accept the offer of a gentleman against her will. She had already proven that proposition true twice.

  As he thought it through, he realized he still needed to declare himself to her and hope that she could be convinced to accept him. She had risked so much in holding his hand; now was not the time to be shy in response.

  Squaring his shoulders, he said, “Miss Bennet, when I was first here in Hertfordshire, I had the impression that you enjoyed the outdoors. As a matter of fact, I think I even recall you being described as ‘a very good walker.’ In Kent, I also noted your affection for long ambles through the countryside, but since I have returned to the area, I must say, I am beginning to doubt the accuracy of my opinion of you in that regard.”

  Surprised and relieved by his teasing manner, she turned to him with her eyebrows arched and simply answered, “Is that so?”

  With mock sincerity, he replied, “Yes, I regret to say it is. Since my return, I have witnessed you take two strolls in your own garden, but nothing more. Do you only enjoy walks in other counties, or have you lost interest in the endeavor altogether?”

  Smiling, she replied, “Sir, really, I cannot account for your misperception. I walk often and always enjoy the exercise.”

  “Yes, that is clearly what you profess, and you have even been gracious enough to tell me of the paths you prefer, but I have yet to see any verification of your actually walking out.”

  As she looked at him with a mixture of curiosity and mirth, she replied in a tone unable to mask her amusement, “I was not aware that you needed proof. Are you inferring that my word is insufficient?”

  “I just thought that there might be a way to satisfy my curiosity and put the matter to rest once and for all. Maybe you could tell me when you plan to walk out again, and I will endeavor to take my daily ride at the same time. If we meet, then I would be resolved to the fact that you do indeed enjoy the exercise and my faith would be restored.”

  In a playful tone, she responded, “But, Mr. Darcy, if I were to accept such a plan, I would risk everything and you nothing. If I walked out, but our paths did not cross, I would be branded a liar through no fault of my own.”

  “Yes, but the lanes in the neighborhood are clearly marked. I think it highly unlikely that our paths would not cross.”

  “That may be so. But I still have reservations as to the soundness of your premise. If you truly doubt my word, then I’m not sure that the proof of a single stroll would suffice.”

  Fearing that Elizabeth might not cooperate, he suddenly turned very serious. He stared down at his plate for a moment and then turned his gaze intently toward her. After a pause, he leaned imperceptibly closer to her and admitted in a hurried and hushed tone, “Truly, Miss Bennet, I know I do not deserve such consideration, but I would be forever grateful if you saw fit to share such information with me.”

  The clear intent of his words and the earnestness with which he made his last statement temporarily took her breath away. As she looked out the window to regain her composure, she meekly replied, “I believe I will try to walk tomorrow at first light.”

  Breathing out in relief, he leaned slightly closer to her still and quietly said, “Thank you so very much.” Having abandoned his more playful tone in fear that he would not be able to accomplish his goal, he now found it impossible to regain their easy discourse. He sat in silence, contemplating what to do next.

  Their momentary discomfort was relieved by the appearance of the next course. As they ate in a prolonged silence, she reviewed their previous discourse and resolved to gain something from him. She impulsively asked, “Mr. Darcy, what book did you bring me today?”

  Caught off guard, he swallowed ungracefully. Regaining his composure, he put his fork down and turned his attention to her. “The other day, you asked me to select a book for you, and I must say it took me a great deal of time to settle on one. In the end, I brought you a copy of Christopher Marlowe’s Hero and Leander.”

  As she contemplated his words, he became uneasy in the silence and asked, “Does your father’s library already contain that volume?”

  Smiling enigmatically, she replied, “No, it does not.”

  Nervously he continued to explain. “I know it is not typically the type of book that is recommended for a woman to read, but I thought you might appreciate the honesty conveyed in the writing, even if it might be considered provocative by some.”

  “I see.”

  “I was also hesitant to select it because I know your general dislike of poetry, but it has long been a favorite of mine. The story, of course, is taken from Greek mythology, but Marlowe’s treatment of the emotions between the ill-fated couple has always moved me. I find his portrayal of Hero intriguing, as her femininity incorporates both loyalty and a strong, spirited independence.” As he locked his gaze upon her, he added with hushed intensity, “I was hesitant to choose it because the story does not have a happy ending, but at its essence, it is a tale of a man who will brave any obstacle to win happiness with his beloved.”

  She gasped ever so slightly, unable to look away from him, as he continued to stare at her intently. The moment seemed to go on indefinitely, until she realized that Mary had requested that she pass her a dish. Once the task was accomplished, Elizabeth could not help but stare at her plate as she attempted to take in all that had transpired between them. Darcy’s subtle clearing of his throat interrupted her reverie. Leaning slightly toward her, he quietly asked, “Perhaps I could bring you the book tomorrow? I would be curious to see if you enjoy it. When you are finished reading it, we could discuss it.”

  Smiling at him, she replied, “I would like that very much. But I have, in fact, already read it. I would, however, enjoy looking at it again, as your vivid description seems to give the tale a new perspective.”

  “You are already familiar with it? But I thought you said that your father’s library does not contain that volume…” Giving her a broad smile, he added, “Oh, I see; I did not ask you the right question. I always seem to forget that I should never assume anything with you.”

  She smiled in response and then attempted to lighten the air by asking about his sister. They talked easily throughout dinner and were surprised when the ladies were called to retire to the drawing room.

  When the party was reunited, Darcy kept by Elizabeth’s side, but was soon forced to retreat from his position when she was assigned the duty of pouring the coffee. As he stood alone, trying discreetly to watch Elizabeth’s every move, Bingley called him over to talk. As the men stood slightly apart from the rest of the guests, Bingley asked, “Darcy, how are you? I was a little concerned for you at dinner.”

  “Charles, I am fine. Do not worry on my account.”

  Skeptical, he replied, “I know that it is in your manner to keep things to yourself. But in this regard, I think that would be a mistake. Miss Bennet and I had an opportunity during dinner to speak privately, and she tells me that you should not put any stock in what Mrs. Bennet has to say about impending nuptials. You should not forget that she once believed that you intended to marry Miss Bennet.”

  “I know, Charles. I have disregarded it.”

  “Darcy, Miss Bennet also told me that Lydia is the last person that Miss Elizabeth would confide in, and that her comments were spoken without thinking.”

  “Yes, Charles, I know.”

  “I do not want you to feel that there is no h
ope. I think it is simply a misunderstanding.”

  Chuckling, Darcy put his hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Charles, I said I agree with you. In your zeal to speak with Miss Bennet in private during the dinner, all other matters escaped your attention. If you had looked around, you might have noticed that Miss Elizabeth and I are on cordial terms. I am not concerned about John Lucas’s attentions. Well, that is not exactly accurate. I am concerned about his intentions, but I am not overly concerned with Miss Elizabeth’s reception of them.”

  “Oh, well, that is good.” Smiling broadly, he added, “I am glad.” Before he could ask any more questions, Lydia ran excitedly up to him and began speaking without even acknowledging Darcy’s presence.

  “Mr. Bingley, you absolutely must help me. You are the only one who can.”

  “Well, I suppose I can try. What is the problem?”

  “You must promise to postpone your wedding. My father says we will not be able to go to Brighton when the regiment removes there, because we will be preparing for your wedding breakfast. Would it not be more fun if we could all go to Brighton instead? You could come with us, and then you and Jane could get married afterward. We would have such a grand time. All you need to do is tell Jane and my mother that you do not mind putting off your wedding date for a few weeks. Once they see that you have agreed to it, they will have nothing to say on the subject. You simply must say yes.”