by K. K. Allen
“It’s just a movie, Liam. But it’s okay if you don’t want to.”
“Is this you trying to make yourself feel better for being so quick to judge me? Who’s to say you were wrong, anyway?”
She shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. You don’t owe me anything. I never should have acted like a jealous ex-girlfriend. I just—I guess I was hurt that I had to hear the truth from the television.”
A pang of guilt hit my chest. In retrospect, I completely agreed with the sentiment. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. It was daft to think I could hide it. As wrong as it was, I quite liked the way you looked at me before.”
“I guess we’re both sorry then.”
I nodded, then a moment of silence stretched between us.
She smiled. “Well, I think we can move forward, then.”
“Forward?” I didn’t want to get my hopes up, whatever she meant by that.
“We have fun together, right?” Her brows raised in question. “You need to be out of the limelight for a while. I need more male inspiration for my book. We might as well make the most of your time here.”
And just like that, it was like a weight had lifted off my back. “I love the sound of that.”
She tugged on my hand again. “Good. Now sit. I’m going to find us a movie to watch.”
I rolled my eyes, feigning annoyance, then dropped down onto the couch next to her, leaving no room between us. She wanted to watch a movie with me? So be it.
I swung my arm around her shoulders, relaxing it on the back of the couch, and waited for her to grab the remote, but she never did. Instead, she turned her body to face me, knee bent in front of her, and leaned in with a curious expression.
“Before I turn on a movie, can I ask you something? It’s been bugging me ever since I found out about the show.”
I cringed but nodded for her to go ahead. No question regarding British Bachelor would possibly be enjoyable.
“What was it like to date a bunch of women at the same time so publicly?”
A chuckle rumbled through me. Of course she had to ask the most general question of them all. I didn’t even know where to start. “Do you want to know the truth?”
“I want to know everything. I want to know what it was like.”
Her silver eyes gleamed back at me, and I knew I couldn’t deny her. “About the same as it would be to date a bunch of women in real life, I suppose, except—picture them all in the same place at the same time, giving you their very best versions of themselves. And in return, you give them the very best version of yourself. You go on these extravagant dates that you could never afford to go on normally.”
“Sounds miserable,” she chimed in with a playful smile.
I let out a light chuckle before continuing. “You say all the right things so you don’t give away too much of yourself to the millions of people watching at home. Suddenly, you start to adapt to the new version of yourself a little too well. You start to believe in the glamour and the false reality. The next thing you know, you’re being offered a glass case of engagement rings to choose from because everyone around you thinks you’re in love. With who? They don’t really care. All the women are beautiful, so why wouldn’t you find the one you want to spend the rest of your life with? Hell, even you think you might be falling in love.”
All the air in the room felt like it was getting sucked right out, and my body started to shake with the memories that flooded me—the very real feelings involved with the sweeping high and low emotions I’d lived with every single day. I looked her straight in the eye and swallowed. “And then you wake up the next morning.”
Chelsea’s expression was softer now, all her playfulness gone, her voice just a whisper. “And then what happens?”
I sucked in a slow, deep breath, the words on the tip of my tongue making my heart crash through my chest. “And then you realize that the woman you’re two days away from proposing to hasn’t once asked you about the meaning behind your tattoos.”
Chelsea didn’t pry for much longer before she started the movie. She was curious about the type of dates and the extravagant locations where the producers had taken us, but she didn’t press for any personal information about me and the girls. I wondered if that was for my benefit or hers.
Perhaps it was smart for us to wade in the shallow end, just past surface level. We knew enough. I didn’t keep any secrets, but we wouldn’t dig deeper. Still, I couldn’t stop thinking about her initial reaction—the anger, the disappointment, the judgment. Who knew what other thoughts were swirling around that beautiful brain of hers?
It was almost two in the morning when the credits of the Adam Sandler movie started to roll, and I turned to see Chelsea sleeping against my side. I gently eased her into a horizontal position, placed my lips on her cheek, and got up to stretch.
Turning to look at her, I didn’t want to leave. Not then, not ever. There was something so natural about being with her that I couldn’t imagine ever going back to the madness I’d left behind.
Then she shifted onto her side, a quiet moan slipping from her throat as my eyes perused the sleeping beauty’s body. One glance was all it took for me to make a decision I told myself I wouldn’t regret.
As if it was a sign, my eyes caught on Chelsea’s blue notebook. I smiled, picked it up, opened it to the page with a pen sitting between the pages, and started to write her a letter.
20
Chelsea
It was seven in the morning when the sound of the front door opening jostled me awake. I pulled myself to a sitting position on the couch and stretched my neck, my eyes instantly moving to the baby monitor—not a single movement. The girls would probably sleep in a little bit longer.
I grabbed the monitor and my notebook and walked through the foyer to greet an exhausted-looking Bridget. “Hard night?”
She gave me a look that told me she didn’t want to talk about it then lifted the monitor from my grasp. “Still asleep?”
“Yes, but probably not for much longer.” I smiled, feeling sympathetic toward the hardworking nurse and mom of three. “Do you need me to stay?”
Bridget smiled with appreciation. “I’ll be fine. Simon should be home soon too. I’ll scoop the girls up and put them in bed with me. Just be back tonight at five. We have a charity event downtown. We should only be gone for a few hours. Go enjoy your day.”
And that was exactly what I intended to do. After taking my laptop to the pool and writing a couple thousand words, I went inside, showered, and dressed for a walk down to my parents’ tearoom.
It felt like a normal day except I couldn’t get Liam off my mind—how he’d helped the girls to bed last night just so I wouldn’t have to wake up, the way he’d sat with me after I’d asked him to stay, the way he hadn’t held back answering questions—and somehow, I’d trusted that he would answer anything I asked, which was one of the reasons I’d stopped.
If Liam was willing to tell me the truth, then he definitely had nothing to hide. And from everything he had told me, it sounded like he’d gotten wrapped in a reality of the show’s making, not his own. Of course the producers were mad at him for leaving. He’d walked away from their show. The audience had become invested in the lives of these people and this love story that was never meant to last, but all the audience knew was that Liam had walked away and broken three women’s hearts in the process.
I slipped on my shoes and grabbed my notebook from my bed. I always loved stopping in the park and finding a tree to jot notes under before grabbing my tea. As I walked toward my front door, a fluttering sound caught my attention. I looked down to find a folded piece of paper floating to the floor.
That’s odd. I didn’t remember sticking anything in my notebook.
Bending over, I picked up the piece of paper and unfolded it. At first glance, I saw that it was a letter, then I saw the name, and my heart rate picked up instantly.
I didn’t even read the signature at the bottom before I knew exactl
y who had written the letter. As my eyes scanned the words, I squinted, wondering if I was going crazy or if Liam had just penned a proposition letter.
Dear Chelsea,
I know what you must think of me now that my secret is out, and I can’t say I’m not disappointed. I bloody loved that you saw me as someone other than the bloke my entire country has deemed unworthy of love. Maybe I am, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting you as desperately as I do.
Before you toss this letter in the rubbish bin, just hear me out.
Soon, I’ll need to return home to face the critics—the harsh reminder of the man they all believe me to be, the Forever Bachelor—and you’ll continue to live out your dreams here while nannying the twins. Simon and Bridget are so very lucky to have you.
All I ask is for one night with you, one night to remove the facade we’ve exhibited for the past two weeks to mask our true feelings.
Because I want you, Chelsea Banks, more than I’ve wanted any woman in my entire life, and I dare to imagine that you might just want me too. Even if just for one night.
Liam
By the time I walked back over to the manor to watch the kids, I had reread Liam’s letter a few dozen times. I told myself that my second shower of the day had nothing to do with wanting to smell fresh and clean for Liam and everything to do with the fact that I’d sweated a little from doing yoga earlier. The light makeup I wore was purely for the fact that I hadn’t worn any in weeks, and it felt good to brighten up a little. Also, the jean shorts and white tank top I’d thrown on had nothing to do with the outfits we’d both worn in downtown Providence the night of our kiss, the night I never should have let him walk out my door.
Simon was with the toddlers in the living room when I walked in the house. The girls were wrestling with their father while Bridget and Brendan laughed from the couch. It almost felt like I was interrupting when Bridget spotted me and waved me over.
“Come in,” she said. “We’re just about to go to dinner.”
I smiled and sat on the couch opposite her while I watched the twins squeal with laughter. “They’re the happiest two girls I’ve ever known.”
Bridget threw me a small smile. “I don’t know how we’d do any of it without you, but thank you. I like to think we all work pretty well together.”
The twins and I walked their parents to the door, where they received one last squeeze, while Brendan sat back on the couch with his Switch.
The moment the door shut, the girls turned to me and jumped. “Hide-and-seek, hide-and-seek.”
It was their favorite game, and I always hesitated to play with them without Brendan’s assist. I looked over my shoulder, catching his raised brows and understanding stare. He sighed and set his video game down. “Okay, fine, but only a couple of rounds. I told my friends I’d join ’em for a game later.”
I grinned, knowing he would cave. He would do anything for his sisters. “Thank you, Brendan. Okay, who’s first?”
We played the first round with me on the hunt and the twins hiding with Brendan. I ended up finding them all hiding in the kitchen pantry after a few minutes.
“Too easy,” I teased.
They hid again. This time, I found them under the guest bed down the corridor.
“Your turn, Chelsea,” the twins squealed.
I laughed and waited until they turned around so I could find the perfect hiding spot. I came to the end of the hallway as the pitter-patter of little and big feet grew louder. I reached for the door of a guest bedroom and pulled myself inside before shutting it quietly behind me. Looking around, I realized I’d never been inside the room before, but I didn’t have time to give myself a tour. I was running out of time.
I darted to a closed door in the room, assuming it was the closet, and dashed inside. As I shut it behind me, I realized the room wasn’t a closet at all. It was a bathroom, and as I turned around, I noticed something else. Steam was billowing in the air.
Panic rushed through me. Before I could make a mad dash to leave, a figure walked through the fog like a mirage. The next thing I knew, Liam was approaching me wearing nothing but a towel. Water dripped over his tattoos, and his eyes were bright and mesmerizing. I felt rooted in place as he leaned in, his arm lifting until his palm lay flat against the door.
Then he smiled. “Well, hello. Fancy meeting you here.”
My heart crashed against my rib cage. “What are you doing here?” I hissed, well aware that I was the one the children were supposed to find. The Hogue kids certainly couldn’t find me like this.
Liam’s eyes crinkled at the corners. “The basement guest room doesn’t have a shower, so I use this one. But I should be asking you that question, love. Is there a reason you decided to join me in the loo?”
My entire body felt hot, and it wasn’t from the steam. “I’m hiding from the kids. They’re trying to find me.” I sucked in a deep breath to calm my nerves. It was a futile effort. “I need to go before they do.”
I started to turn, but Liam’s free hand caught my waist. “We need to talk.” His green eyes practically ensnared mine.
Holy hell, my heart was in my throat, hammering away with no hope of stopping. “Not now,” I hissed, desperate to get out of the bathroom before the kids got close enough to figure out that it wasn’t just me inside. “Not here.”
“Did you get my letter?”
I wasn’t sure if I was more afraid to get caught by the kids or face Liam’s question. I’d never had a panic attack before, but I was sure this was what it felt like. My skin was all clammy, and my throat went dry while my heart pounded heavily in my chest. “Yes.” One simple word, but I could barely make it sound like one. It was all breathy, not at all confident like I’d been feeling as of late. I couldn’t lie to the man, but I was uncertain what would happen now that everything was out in the open.
His gaze left my eyes and slid down my body, stopping at the rise and fall of my chest. “You seem nervous. Do I make you nervous?”
I slammed my lids closed, but that didn’t stop me from feeling his dominating presence and taking in his powerful scent. Liam wanted me, and I was still trying to figure out all the reasons why it wouldn’t work. My mind was blank, my stomach in knots, and all I could think about was just how much I wanted to accept his proposition.
Even if just for one night.
I’d never had anything like what Liam was proposing. Could I do that? Could I strip down bare for Liam knowing it could only ever be casual?
A voice on the other side of the door yanked me from my thoughts. “Chelsea,” called Brendan.
My eyes shot open, meeting Liam’s unfazed gaze. I opened my mouth to respond when Liam’s palm covered it, and he held a finger to his lips, telling me to be quiet.
“It’s just me,” Liam said, his eyes on me while his lips curled up mischievously. “Did you try upstairs?”
My eyes bulged at him incredulously. As soon as Brendan’s and the girls’ footsteps faded away, I pushed into Liam’s chest with my hands. “I’m working, Liam.” I hissed my words, still managing to stay quiet. “I can’t just disappear on them.”
Liam shrugged. “You’re playing hide-and-seek. Let them seek for a few more minutes. We need to talk about the letter.” His eyes searched mine. “I laid it all out there. How do you feel about it?”
I sighed and leaned against the door. “I feel—confused.”
Liam closed the distance again, his fingers tipping up my chin. “You don’t look confused, Chelsea. In fact, I think it’s the exact opposite.”
I swallowed, struggling to find the energy to combat his efforts. He was completely right.
He smiled as if he could read my thoughts. “I can’t imagine being this close to you and not pursuing you. I can’t imagine going back to London without having ever had the chance with you. I want you, Chelsea Banks, and I dare to imagine that you might just want me too.”
Those words. They were straight from the letter. The effects of them sent a t
ingle throughout my body. “What are you proposing exactly?”
“Did I not make that clear?”
I let out another breath. “You want one night with me? Then you’ll be done with me?”
His gaze darkened, and he leaned down to brush his lips against my cheek. “I want to fuck you, Chelsea Banks. And the only promise I can make is that you will come harder than anyone from those romance books you like to read. All I’m asking for is a chance.”
His words knocked the wind out of me to the point that I wondered if I was flying. No man had ever spoken to me like that. But from the warmth spreading between my legs, I realized that maybe I had been missing out.
“I don’t know if it’s a smart idea.” I was trying to do the right thing, but I hated that I was potentially sabotaging something I so desperately wanted.
Liam pulled back, shaking his head slowly. “Oh, it’s a terrible idea, but it’s the best I can think of.” He searched my eyes again. “Let me come to your place tonight, and let’s see what happens.”
After what felt like a million moments, I squeezed my eyes shut, silently praying that I wouldn’t regret my next response. Then I nodded.
21
Liam
At half-past eleven, when I knew everyone in the Hogue manor was asleep, I slipped out the back door of the kitchen and walked across the open foyer, down the side of the house toward the pool gate and let myself inside.