by Gina Wilkins
“Yeah. Holly calls herself a ‘cheerful cheat’ when it comes to games.”
She smiled. “I remember that.”
Avery’s chair scraped against the floor as he stood. “Let’s go check that flooding down the road. Might need to shovel more brush and leaves out of the drainage ditches so Jenny can get out of here. And I’ve got to head back before long myself. Lynne and I are planning to stream a movie tonight.”
She bit her lower lip. Avery was making no secret that he wanted her gone. Seriously, he acted as though she were a ticking time bomb or something. She couldn’t imagine why she still roused such hostility in him after all these years.
* * *
The men were gone longer than she’d expected. After half an hour, she was beginning to worry that something had gone wrong. She sat on the porch for a while, then went inside and busied herself wiping the kitchen counters and cleaning the mud-tracked floor with a mop she found in the pantry. She preferred cleaning to sitting and waiting.
She had just put away the mop when she was startled by a burst of noise. Lights came on in the kitchen and the refrigerator began to hum, cooling the contents that would mostly have to be discarded. A ceiling fan in the living area began to spin lazily. Country music flowed from speakers she hadn’t noticed before. Apparently Gavin’s taste in music hadn’t changed. Her heart clenched when she recognized the tune and the artist. But it wasn’t “their” song, she realized after a moment, and thank goodness for that. It had been a long time after she and Gavin had broken up before she’d been able to listen to country music again, for fear that she might hear Diamond Rio’s “Beautiful Mess,” the song they’d both loved and which they’d always sung along to whenever it came on the radio in his truck.
She’d never been the type to have a little too much wine on a melancholy night, put on an old song and wallow in bittersweet memories. She started across the room with the intent to find the music player and silence it now. She liked this song just fine, though the sentiment about wanting a chance to spend one more day with a loved one made her a bit uncomfortable.
The front door opened before she’d taken more than a couple of steps. Looking as though he’d pretty much rolled in mud, Gavin entered alone.
She’d have thought the sight of him would have grown more familiar, that the impact of seeing him would have lessened. Yet, still her heart gave a hard thump when his eyes met and held hers across the room. She cleared her throat. “The power just came on,” she said unnecessarily.
Gavin strode across the room and flipped a switch at the entertainment center. The music was abruptly silenced. Had he, too, been carried back to a more innocent time by the sound of a familiar voice? Or did he just want the music off?
“Where are the other guys?” she asked, her voice sounding loud in the sudden silence.
“They left. Avery wanted to get home, so I thanked them for their help and sent them on their way. All of them said for me to tell you goodbye and that they enjoyed meeting you today.”
She doubted that Avery had sent quite those words, but she let it go. “How’s the flooding?”
“It’s going down fast,” he assured her. “We dredged out the ditches again and pulled out some debris that was acting as a little dam. I’d give it another fifteen, twenty minutes, maybe, and then the road should be passable if you’re careful.”
A check of the time told her that in just over an hour, Thad would call. She’d like to be on the road by then. She could always pull over somewhere and take the call. She’d just rather not be here at the time.
Gavin pushed a hand through his hair. “I’m filthy. I’m going to try to scrape off some of this mud.”
“Okay. I’ll be carrying my things out to my car.”
“Need any help with that?”
“No, thanks. I didn’t bring in much last night.”
He nodded, then disappeared into the back room. Moments later, she heard the shower running. She swallowed hard, deliberately cleared her mind of any unbidden images and started gathering her possessions.
His hair was still wet when he emerged again, but he wore a clean T-shirt and jeans and looked as though the shower had revived some of his energy.
“You didn’t need help with the bandage?” she asked, glancing toward his covered shoulder.
He shook his head. “I managed. Thanks.”
Lacing her hands, she glanced around the now cheerily lit room, trying to think of anything else to say. Coming up blank, she gave him a strained smile. “I guess I should try to make it out, then. Unless there’s anything else I can do for you before I go?”
As she’d expected, he declined the offer. “No, it’s all good.”
She nodded. “Then I should go before it starts getting dark.”
“I’ll follow you down the hill in my truck, make sure you get across okay. I need to put my truck away for the night, anyway.”
She’d be wasting her breath to tell him it wasn’t necessary to see her off, so she merely nodded again. She took a step toward the door, then stopped when he moved to block her way. “What?”
His gaze was so intent on her face that she almost felt as though he could see her thoughts. “Just one more question before you go.”
Suddenly nervous, she smoothed the hem of her shirt. “What is it?”
“Why did you really come here this weekend?”
She moistened her lips before answering. “I told you. I had work to do.”
“Yeah, that’s what you told me. And it’s probably true. To an extent. But there’s something more you haven’t told me. Something that’s been nagging at you. Probably none of my business, but you can always tell me to butt out, if you want.”
“What makes you think I haven’t told you everything?” she challenged, not quite meeting his eyes.
“Jen.” He reached out and lifted her chin with a surprisingly gentle hand, so that their eyes met fully again. “I know it’s been a decade since we’ve seen each other, but there was a time I knew you as well as I knew myself. There’s a reason other than work that you came here, isn’t there?”
She sighed. Perhaps it was the bittersweet reminder of their past that loosened her tongue. “The man I’ve been dating proposed to me last week. I came here to decide what my answer will be.”
Chapter Five
She felt Gavin’s hand twitch against her face, a spasmodic jerk he’d been unable to contain. And then he dropped his arm to his side, his thoughts now closed to her. She was sure her announcement had come as a surprise to him, but she couldn’t tell how he felt beyond that.
“Well, isn’t that a dilemma,” he said. It wasn’t quite a snarl.
Her chin rose. “It isn’t an easy decision. Thad’s a wonderful man, but I’ve worked hard to build the life I have now and obviously marriage would mean big changes for me. If you still know me so well, you should understand that I need to make sure I’ve considered all possible ramifications before I make a lifelong commitment.”
“Sorry I got in your way this weekend. But I’m sure you’ll make the decision that’s right for you, anyway. You always have.”
He opened the door and stepped outside before she could decide if she’d just been complimented or insulted. Wishing now that she’d kept her mouth shut, she swallowed a sigh and followed him outside.
“You have all your stuff?” he asked, pausing on the porch to don his mud-caked boots.
She nodded. “I think I have everything.”
“I’ll drive down ahead of you and make sure it’s safe before you go through.”
Though she thought he was being overcautious, she nodded. “Fine.”
He climbed into his truck without another word. Apparently he wasn’t going to say anything else about the admission she’d made to him. But wasn’t he even goi
ng to say goodbye?
After a moment, she slid into her car. If he wanted to part with nothing more than a wave at the bottom of the hill, that was okay with her. It was probably even for the best.
He drove slowly down the hill and she followed at a safe distance. The road looked different in the afternoon light than it had in the darkness and rain on the way up. Much less forbidding and narrow, though the riverside fell away a bit more sharply than she’d have liked.
At the foot of the long hill, the road was still covered with a muddy puddle, but it looked no deeper now than it had when she’d driven through last night. Water rushed in the deep ditches along the roadside, and she saw the fresh trenches cut into the mud by the men’s shovels. Gavin braked at the foot of the hill, then drove slowly through the puddle. As far as she could tell, he had no trouble getting to the slightly higher ground on the other side. He pulled over as far as he could on the woods side of the road, hopped out of his truck and motioned for her to proceed. Following his example, she drove slowly, staying in the center of the road. She heard the water sloshing against the bottom of her car, but her tires held their grip. Her enforced stay was at an end.
Gavin flagged her down when she’d reached the other side. She put the car into Park as he approached. So he was going to say goodbye, after all. She should at least thank him for his hospitality before she drove away.
Leaving the motor running, she opened her door and climbed out. “That was definitely interesting,” she said with a wry smile.
“A little too interesting. If that puddle had been an inch or two deeper, I’d have insisted you turn around and drive back up the hill.”
She was glad it hadn’t come to that. “Well, it’s been...”
She almost said “interesting” again, but decided she was getting a little repetitive. She couldn’t actually think of an appropriate adjective, so she allowed her voice to fade into a wry smile.
“Yeah. It’s been.” He, too, left it at that. “Drive carefully.”
“Thanks, I will.”
“Again, sorry about the mix-up this weekend. I’ll make sure that refund goes through immediately. I assume it can just be credited back to your card?”
“Yes, that would be fine, thank you.”
“I’ll have someone other than Lizzie take care of it, so it’s done right.”
She cleared her throat. “So...”
He met her eyes, though she still couldn’t tell what he was thinking or feeling. “So...”
“Goodbye, Gavin. Be careful with that shoulder, okay?” And on the job, she wanted to add. Please don’t get shot.
“I’ll take care,” he replied without smiling.
She nodded and started to turn back to her car.
“Jenny...” His hand fell on her arm, detaining her before she could slide behind the wheel.
She glanced up at him. “Yes?”
She was too startled to move when he lowered his head and covered her mouth with his. Or at least that was what she told herself. She wasn’t sure if she reached up to push him away or steady herself, but her fingers curled into his shirt.
His lips were as firm as they looked and so very warm. The kiss was brief, but it rocked her to her toes. Her heart pounded against her chest. She suddenly understood every old cliché about fireworks and trumpets.
During the past years, she had spent a great deal of effort trying not to remember explosive kisses and mind-blowing lovemaking with Gavin. On the rare occasion when erotic memories slipped through the cracks, she’d written them off as exaggerated by time, perhaps made more spectacular through the eager lens of youth and innocence. She’d convinced herself that no mere embrace could be that powerful now that she was a more experienced adult. No mere press of lips could turn her into a mindless mass of quivering nerves.
It seemed she’d been wrong. She couldn’t for the life of her figure out why her eyes suddenly burned as if with long-held-back tears.
Oddly enough, Gavin was smiling a little when he lifted his head.
“Sorry,” he said, though there was no apology in his expression. “Guess you could say that was for old times’ sake.”
She realized that her hand rested just over his bandaged shoulder. She drew it away as if her fingertips had been burned. Her voice was hardly recognizable to her own ears when she said, “Goodbye, Gavin.”
Only when she was in her car and driving away did it occur to her that he hadn’t said goodbye in return.
At least their parting had been amicable this time, disturbing as the unexpected kiss had been. Maybe there’d been a little sarcasm on his part when she’d mentioned her potential engagement, but no anger, no accusations. Perhaps her chest ached a little, but that was probably a normal reaction. Gavin had been an important part of her past. Of course there would be some nostalgia, some vague reflections of what-might-have-been.
The weekend could not have turned out more differently than she’d expected, but maybe she’d accomplished what she’d set out to do, anyway. She’d said a final goodbye to her past. While sitting on the porch in the rocker, she had reminded herself of all she had to gain by marrying Thad. All in all, a surprisingly constructive day.
So why was there such a hard lump in her throat and a knot in her stomach? And why couldn’t she stop reaching up to touch her lips, as if to see if they somehow felt different to her? And why was she finding it so hard not to compare that disturbing kiss to the pleasant, affectionate embraces she’d shared with Thad?
She had to stop. Going down that path could only lead to heartache again, surely, and she’d had enough of that to last a lifetime.
* * *
The dashboard clock said 5:59 when her cell phone buzzed half an hour after she’d driven away from the cabin. Knowing Thad, she figured her car clock was off rather than him.
She pulled into the parking lot of a closed tire dealership to take the call. She had to draw a deep breath before she answered with her usual measured tone. “Hello, Thad.”
“Hi, sweetheart. How’s the vacation?” His voice was rich and clear, mostly free of accent because he’d been raised to speak with a neutral Midwestern cadence rather than a Southern drawl.
“Over,” she replied lightly. “You were right, it seems. The weather was just too unpleasant this weekend. I’m headed home.”
“Are you all right?” She heard the concern in his voice. “You sound odd.”
“I’m just a little tired. The storm kept me from sleeping well last night.”
She would tell him about Gavin, she promised herself. Just not over the phone.
“I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you get more rest tonight.”
“Thanks. How’s your trip?”
“Successful.” His tone was satisfied now. An image of him popped into her mind—gym-toned and slender, clad in pressed slacks and a discreetly expensive shirt, his chestnut-brown hair combed into his usual impeccably groomed style. If he’d been working in his room—as he almost always was when he wasn’t out making valuable contacts—he was wearing the horn-rimmed glasses she teased made him look like a roguish professor. His handsome face would be creased with the indulgent smile he usually wore when he spoke with her.
Picturing Thad made her feel calm. Comfortable. Much preferable to jangled nerves and trembling fingers and knotted muscles, right?
They concluded their call with his usual breezy, “Love ya, Jenny,” and her habitual, rather lame response of “You, too.” The routine satisfied them both, so she saw no reason to change it.
She put her phone away and started her car again. She had quite a few more miles to travel that evening. She turned up the music—classical, not country—to distract her from the emotions that seethed inside her as she left the cabin and its owner behind her.
* * *
Gavin stood on the front porch of the cabin later that evening, studying the moon-washed grounds with weary satisfaction. The rain had stopped for good finally, and the clouds had parted. Tomorrow was supposed to be dry and sunny, which would let him put in another full day’s work. He needed to stack and burn the remaining storm debris, and rake the lawn immediately around the cabin. The roof was repaired now, thanks to his friends, but he had a couple places to patch on the ceiling of the back bedroom. He had linens to launder, floors to clean and a couple of broken steps down toward the river to replace.
He was sore and bone-tired from all he’d done today. Every joint protested the very thought of all he planned to tackle tomorrow. But he was glad he had so much to do, mostly because the work would keep him too busy to brood about Jenny. Jenny, who was on the verge of marrying someone else, putting her out of Gavin’s life again, this time forever. Jenny, whom he’d once planned to marry himself. He’d even fantasized about proposing here at the cabin, beside the river. Maybe in their private clearing, where he’d go down on one knee and offer her his paternal grandmother’s ring. The pretty little diamond-and-sapphire band had been passed down to him when his grandmother died while he was still in high school. His grandfather had wanted him to have it to one day offer his own bride.
Maybe someday he’d pass it down to his eldest nephew. It seemed unlikely he’d ever use the ring himself, even if he found another woman he wanted to marry. In his mind, that ring would always have been meant for Jenny. Jenny, who hadn’t wanted him, at least not without changing him into something he could never become.
Frowning in response to having her name pop up in his mind again—he’d lost count of how many times he’d had to push it away since she’d driven off—he spun on one heel and went back inside the cabin. It was time for his antibiotic, so he downed one with a glass of water. He flexed his shoulder tentatively, satisfied that it felt slightly less stiff, though still plenty sore. It would feel even better when he had the stitches out in a couple days. He was anxious to get back on the job and put this whole misadventure behind him.