“It might work, but what will we do with Sammy? He’s still a little too young for the shows, and we never know when he’ll have an outburst.”
“We can leave him with my parents. You know my mom will never pass up the opportunity to spoil him rotten.”
I smiled at him then; I’d really missed our little ritual. I was elated by the idea of getting out of the house to do something alone with Justin.
“You have yourself a deal, Mr. Sever. When shall we begin?”
“Today is Wednesday, our usual date night,” my heart jumped at the word ‘date’, “no reason not to resume tonight, unless you already have plans.”
I smiled even brighter. “No, I don’t have any plans. I don’t get out much anymore, you know that.”
“Not even with James?” he asked.
“I haven’t seen or heard from James since when I still lived here, Justin.” This information brought a wide smile to his face.
“Well, from here on out, I declare Wednesday nights our night! Nothing will get in the way of our date, I promise.” There was that date word again.
“You’re on, hot stuff,” I teased. He wiggled his eyebrows back at me with a sexy grin before standing and making his way back to his office. I couldn’t help but give one of Vance’s signature fist pumps. It may not mean more than him wanting to restore our friendship, but it gave me the opportunity to spend some time, just the two of us, which I had sorely missed. If I were lucky, I might be able to remind him he once loved me and maybe could again.
I left the house a little early that night, much to Sammy’s displeasure. I hated interrupting his schedule, but I was a bundle of nerves. It wasn’t uncommon for me to feel that way before a first date, and after all this time without hanging out with Justin, it felt a lot like one. It was also the first time we’d be going out since I admitted I loved him. I didn’t know if that was in the forefront of his mind since so much time had passed. I doubted he’d forgotten it, but maybe he thought I’d come to grips with my feelings. I had to admit I didn’t know anything so that only served to heighten my nervousness.
I was also at a loss for something to wear. I wanted to look my best, but we were only going to the movies, so it had to be casual. The weather was nice, but it had been a little cool in the evenings. I decided on my favorite yellow sundress with a light, oversized, cream-colored cardigan, and a pair of soft, slouchy, tan boots. It was pretty, but still casual.
I was sparing with the make-up and left my hair in its usual riot of curls, not wanting to look like I’d gone to any special effort. I did make sure to spray on my favorite perfume, in case we got a little close. Boy did I hope we would though I admitted to myself the chance was remote.
When I got back to Justin’s house, his mom was there, fussing over Sammy. He didn’t seem too keen on all the attention, but he didn’t get upset. She kept telling him what a big boy he was now that he was going to spend a whole night with Grandma and Grandpa. I didn’t bother to point out that he had spent the night at their house plenty of times already. It had been a long time and there was no way he could remember it. He was only a year old, so there was no way he would this time either, but I was sure Audrey would have the camera close at hand, so she could show him pictures when he was older. Or anyone else she could find to show the next day.
Snowflake was close at hand the whole time they were getting ready to leave and sat at the door whining after they left. I felt bad for her, she was so attached to Sammy. I made a mental note to ask if she could go with them the next time.
As soon as they were out the door, I turned to Justin and smiled. He gave me a slow look up and down, then a low wolf-whistle.
“You look fantastic, Peaches. Maybe we should pop the popcorn here and stay in watching a video,” he said with a sexy wink. My heart raced faster, and I stumbled over my words. He looked mighty fine in a tight, dark grey t-shirt which showed off his muscles and the tattoos on his arms, along with a pair of worn jeans that hugged him in all the right places.
“Um… uh… sure, Justin. If that’s what you’d prefer to do. I can borrow one of your t-shirts and a pair of shorts and get settled in.”
“I was kidding, Mimi. With you looking like that, there’s no way I’m not taking you out and showing you off.”
Much to my annoyance, I blushed. I didn’t want him to think I was reading too much into this that I thought it was anything more than two old friends going out together. Sure, I had hope it would kindle something more between us, but wouldn’t allow myself to anticipate anything.
My heart raced again as we left the house because he picked up my hand in his and gave it a small kiss. He held onto it all the way to his car before releasing me to open the door. Justin was always affectionate with me, so I kept repeating in my head that it meant nothing out of the ordinary.
“The movie doesn’t start until nine, so I thought maybe we could grab some dinner beforehand. Maybe go to Garcia’s for some tacos?”
I hated to admit it, but I thought Garcia’s would be a danger zone. We used to go there a lot and they made Margaritas which were out of this world. I didn’t think I’d ever been there without indulging in a couple. Reluctantly, I had to confess to Justin my hesitation over going to one of our favorite spots.
“I’m sorry, Mimi,” he shook his head sadly. “That should’ve occurred to me. We can go somewhere new where there are no memories or old habits to dredge up.”
“Don’t feel bad. There’s no way for either of us to know what might make me too uncomfortable. Garcia’s is a natural suggestion, and someday it might be fine. I just want to be cautious.”
“Okay,” he smiled at me. “How about we try this new Chinese restaurant that opened? It’s a little way away from the theater.”
“I could go for some egg rolls. Oooh, do you think they have those cream cheese wontons? That would be awesome.”
“I guess we’ll see, Peaches,” he said as he started the car.
The restaurant was elaborately done inside. Red walls embellished with gold foil patterns surrounded the dining room and the black lacquer tables were adorned with bright white table cloths. Dim candles in the center set off a nice glow and gave each eating area a sense of intimacy. To further the illusion of privacy, each booth which ringed the room also had beaded screens to offer a little more discretion to the diners. To my surprise, Justin requested a booth.
Once we were seated, Justin asked, “So what do you think? It’s kind of upscale without being too fancy, wouldn’t you agree?”
I poured myself a cup of the green tea the waitress had left on the table after she introduced herself to us. “It’s great. I hope the food is as good as the place looks.”
“I’ve heard good things, so I’m sure it will be.” Justin paused for a moment, looking at me thoughtfully. “You know, Mimi,” he began, “I’m sorry we let our weekly dates fall by the wayside when Sammy was born. I really missed this. I missed us.”
“We’ve been so busy since he came along, Justin. Plus, we’ve spent more time in each other’s company than ever before.”
“Yes, but not alone. It’s like we became one of those married couples who got caught up in the routine of things.”
“It’s not surprising. Even though we’re not a ‘couple’ couple, we were still overwhelmed like any other new parents. It makes more sense it would happen to us since we’re not romantic, and a lot of your free time was spent with Marina.”
“Well, no more.” Justin looked sheepish. “We’re going to make time to have our special nights, no matter what.”
“I’d like that,” I smiled brightly. “I really missed it, too.”
The waitress came then and took our orders. We made idle chit-chat while we waited for our food, keeping our conversation light and easy. We mostly talked about the movie we planned to see, what the critics had to say, how the trailers looked, what the current gossip was about the stars in the film. Well, I talked about that last part. Justin knew
absolutely nothing about that sort of thing and probably cared even less than that. He indulged me, anyway.
When our order arrived, we enjoyed sharing from plates of lo mein, barbecued pork, and paper-wrapped chicken. They didn’t have the wontons I loved so much, but we did get some tasty egg rolls. We talked and laughed all through our meal like we always used to. As we were enjoying the orange slices they served after dinner, Justin looked at his watch.
“Oh no, Peaches. We spent so much time lingering over our meal, we’ve missed the beginning of the movie.”
“It’s okay, Justin,” I smiled softly. “I’ve enjoyed this time far more than I ever would any movie. We can see it next week.” He took my hand and smiled back at me before signaling the waitress for the check.
He picked up my hand again as we were leaving and swung it back and forth as we walked to the car. It also wasn’t uncommon for Justin to hold my hand. He’d frequently done so in the past, but again, my heart pounded to feel his palm against mine. At a loss for words, I said the only thing I could think of.
“How do you think Sammy’s doing? I wonder if he misses us much?” I asked.
“Mimi, he’s with his Grammy. You know how she gushes over him. He probably hasn’t even noticed we aren’t there.”
“How can you be so relaxed about it? I feel nervous as hell. We’ve been gone so long.
“Do you worry like this every night when you go home?” he asked.
“Well, no. I know I’m leaving him with his Daddy, and I know he knows to expect me the next day. He’s not used to both of us being gone at once.”
“Mimi, I run errands and leave him with my mom all the time. Trust me, he’s absolutely fine.” He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze before he opened the car door for me while I wondered how it was I’d not been more worried until now. I’d not thought about Sammy once while we were having dinner even though I knew he was in my subconscious all the time. Did that make me a bad person? Was it because I knew in the end, I wasn’t Sammy’s real mom or even his step-mother? Justin’s voice broke through my musings.
“Mimi, stop stewing. I’ll call my mom and check on him. Most likely he’s already sleeping.”
I sighed heavily as I turned to look at his profile in the moonlight shining through the car window. He was such a handsome man. He was more rugged than the men I’d dated in my life, but to me, he was still one of the greatest looking I’d ever seen. Too bad I’d probably blown it between us. I felt ashamed for everything I’d put him through with my addiction, yet marveled he was still around and there for me whenever I needed him. I’d tried to make myself as useful as possible since the time I’d left rehab, but it never felt like enough. Helping to take care of Sammy was one of the greatest joys of my life, so it was hardly something I put effort in to make amends. I wanted to try even harder, but had no clue how else I could be helpful.
After we arrived at the house, we stood at the car for a few minutes, talking about our weekend plans, when Justin asked, “It’s still kind of early. Would you like to stay for a while and maybe watch a movie on cable? It would be like the ‘old days.’”
I contemplated the idea for a few seconds, but decided it would only lead me to delude myself there was still a chance for us. I politely declined, letting him know I would see him the next day. He walked me to my car and gave me a long hug before letting me go. As we pulled back, he looked at me for a long time. I felt like a deer in the headlights, captivated by his dark brown eyes as they bore into mine. I began to get nervous, so I did the typical Mimi thing and began rambling.
“Well, yeah, so… I’ll see you tomorrow. Maybe I’ll bring bagels or something for breakfast. Or maybe some fresh fruit. Sammy likes grapes. So maybe some grapes and cheese. Or maybe…,” I trailed off.
Justin chuckled and shook his head slowly. He leaned in and kissed my forehead. “Whatever you decide will be fine, Peaches. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Still flustered, I got into my car and drove home in a daze. I knew his increased affection and the long look meant nothing, but couldn’t help hoping I was wrong. When I got home, I went straight for my stash of Oreos and poured a large glass of milk. I shoved all thoughts of Justin aside, as much as I could anyway, and tried to enjoy my dessert. When I finished, I decided to take a hot shower to help relax me since I’d gotten so wound up. It didn’t help. I tossed and turned in bed, finally falling asleep long after midnight.
When I showed up the following morning, laden with a sack full of fresh fruit and fresher bagels, Sammy was in his high chair noshing on Cheerios. I looked at Justin with an exasperated expression.
“I told you I was bringing breakfast! What’s with the cereal?”
“You know how growing boys are, Mimi. When we need food, we need food. No waiting around. Look at me,” he said motioning a hand down his body.
Unconsciously, my eyes followed the direction of his hand, and all I could do was take in the view. He was dressed in a tight, white tank top and a pair of blue basketball shorts. His biceps, with that sexy fucking ink, were flexing and bulging, while the tight cut of his pectoral muscles was pronounced under the thin white material. My mouth went dry, and I couldn’t help but make the complete trek down his legs to his bare feet. I didn’t know what it was, but I found Justin’s feet incredibly sexy. Probably because they were attached to his amazing body.
I hurried into the kitchen and began washing a handful of grapes for Sammy to rein in the hormones which had begun to course through me looking at him.
“I guess it’s finger foods for our boy this morning,” I said.
“As long as you haven’t got spaghetti in there, I think we can manage it without too much damage.”
“Considering I’m the one who would be cleaning him up,” I laughed, “you can be assured he’s not going to be eating spaghetti with me any time soon.”
The grapes sufficiently cleansed, I began cutting into the bagels, preparing half of a plain one smeared with strawberry jelly for Sammy, and two with cream cheese and lox for Justin and myself. As I leaned down to place Justin’s plate in front of him, he moved forward and gave me a kiss on the cheek. While a thrill shot through me to feel his warm lips on my skin, I looked at him, confused.
“What was that for?” I asked.
“I’d say it was because I appreciate you so much and what you do for me and Sammy, and while I do, I really wanted to kiss you. It was the closest, most appropriate spot within reaching distance,” he winked.
Turning a bright shade of red, I began to stutter. “Uh... oh. Well, ah, thanks,” I said, unsure what else to do or say. Rather than look even more like a fool, I sat down next to him and stuffed my bagel into my mouth. I’m sure it didn’t look too ladylike, but at least it would spare me further embarrassment from sputtering like a moron.
Justin gave me the usual roguish grin he got when he was teasing me, then bit into his own bagel. As he chewed, he continued to look at me, his eyes faintly sparkling in the morning sun coming through the window.
“You know,” he said before swallowing down his mouthful of food. “I’ve finished my most recent job and don’t have another one lined up yet. What do you say we do something today?”
“Like what?” I asked curiously.
“Well, I was thinking we could leave Sammy at my mom’s again, and you and I can take the bike out. It’s a nice day for a ride. We could even have a little picnic somewhere.”
“You just picked him up from your parents’ house this morning! Do you really think Audrey is going to want to take him back a few hours later?”
“I mentioned it to her when I picked him up. She’s more than willing to take him for the afternoon. She can’t get enough of him.”
“Oh, so you’re coming at this with a plan, then,” I said as I looked at him with fake suspicion, then straightened my face. “I think I’d feel guilty leaving him again so soon,” I admitted.
“Peaches, you spend every day with him. You have for the
entire year. I don’t think he’s going to hold it against you if you let him spend some extra time with Grandma this week.”
I thought about it, balancing my feelings for spending time caring for Sammy with my desire to have more time with Justin. I remembered how we used to drive up the coast with the wind rushing past us before everything happened. We hadn’t done anything like that since I’d gotten out of rehab, and the idea sounded like heaven. Maybe it wouldn’t be too selfish of me to go along with what Justin was offering.
I smiled brightly at him. “Alright, let’s do it!”
Justin dusted the crumbs off his hands over his plate, then clapped them together. “Okay. I’m eager to get out of this house. While you finish your food, I’ll do a quick walk-through in the shower and then go drop our boy off at Mom’s again.”
I pushed another bite of bagel into my mouth and made a display of chewing furiously. Justin’s enthusiasm was infectious, and I was suddenly in a hurry. It dawned on me I would have the perfectly plausible excuse to wrap my arms around him as I rode on the back of his bike. I imagined allowing my hands to roam over his abdomen and up his chest as he drove even though in reality that was probably not the safest of things to do. So, what? It was my fantasy, and I could do what I wanted. With that thought, I imagined my hands drifting back down, lower and lower until… Giving myself a mental face slap, I rose and gathered our plates.
“We can take care of the dishes later. Let’s go, go, go!” Justin ordered as he stood.
“Justin,” I laughed as I began to soap the plates, “you’re the one who needs to get ready. I have nothing else to do, but wait for you.”
He stood and walked over to me at the sink. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and gave me a brief side-hug. “Thanks for agreeing, Peaches. This is going to be a good day.”
I tilted my head to lean on his shoulder rather than hugging him back with my wet hands. “Why don’t you go take a normal shower, and I’ll run Sammy over to your parents’ house to save time.”
“Great thinking… as long as you don’t mind.”
Just Perfection Page 15