Zee Town Paranormal Cozy Mystery - Complete Series Omnibus: Books 1 - 6

by K E O'Connor

  “Is there any sign of your missing deck hand, Digger?” My hands clutched the railing behind me.

  “No, and I don’t care if he never comes back. Good riddance.” The Flounder grabbed a bucket from the deck. “You two get out of here or I’ll call the police and have you arrested for trespassing.”

  “There’s no need for that.” Selina hauled herself over the railing and onto the beach. “We’ll leave you alone.”

  “You do that,” The Flounder said, still holding the bucket, his beady dark eyes intent on me.

  I hurried after Selina and dropped onto the sand. I grabbed her arm, and we hurried away from the boat.

  A few seconds later, a fish tail flew over my head and landed in the sand. It was followed by several large dripping fish heads.

  “Hurry! We’re under attack from flying fish bits.” I broke into a jog.

  “Eeeek!” Selina stumbled forward, a fish tail wedged in her hair. “That mean old goat got me.”

  I grunted as something cold and slimy hit the back of my head. I turned to see The Flounder, his hand in the bucket and a twisted smile on his face.

  “That’ll teach you to stay off my boat.” He tilted the bucket and threw the contents toward us.

  I tried to dodge out of the way but was hit with a ripe smelling splatter of fish guts. I gagged and stumbled away, struggling not to puke as I dashed away with Selina up to the harbor.

  Selina gasped in air as we both paused and looked at the boat. The Flounder still stood there. He spotted us watching him and gave a surprisingly cheery wave.

  Selina made a rude gesture at The Flounder, which he returned with equal vigor.

  I looked at my fish-encrusted coat. It was beyond saving. “He’s mean enough to harm our zombies.”

  “He’s certainly mean enough to harm to us.” Selina attempted to scrape fish guts from the sleeve of her jacket but only succeeded in smearing it into the fabric.

  “I consider him a suspect, maybe even the prime suspect. He has no care for his zombies. He’s a monster.” I held my nose and grimaced at the mess on my once lovely winter coat.

  Selina nodded. “Me, too. Before we figure out how to prove it, I need to go home for a shower and get this revolting stench off me before I see my next patient.”

  A shower sounded like a perfect idea. “I’ll catch up with you later. We can figure out our next move and see how the others got on.” I went to hug Selina but paused. We both stank.

  She waved me away. “We’ll catch The Flounder. I’ll get my harpoon ready to take that evil old fish down.”

  We parted company. I power walked through town, ignoring the number of people who stepped out of my way. No one wanted to walk into the mad-eyed woman who stank of rotten fish.

  I still couldn’t believe what The Flounder had done. He was being so defensive. He had to be hiding something.

  I stood outside the front door of my cottage, carefully removed my coat, and scraped the worst of the fish from my boots, before leaving them outside on the porch. From the heavy gray clouds in the sky, it looked like rain. That might wash away the smell.

  Once inside, I checked the rest of my clothes for fish guts, before removing them, placing them straight into the washing machine, and putting it on a hot wash.

  I ran upstairs and had the hottest shower I could bear, washing my hair several times and soaping myself down, convinced that the smell of fish had gotten into my pores.

  I’d just dressed in clean gray pants and a warm purple pullover, my hair still wet, when there was a knock at the front door.

  I ran down the stairs and opened it. Nick stood there, his arms crossed and a frown on his face.

  “I was intending to ask you if you knew why The Flounder wanted to have you arrested for trespassing and harassment.” His gaze went to my fish smelling coat and boots that I’d left outside. “The incriminating evidence speaks for itself.”

  “He wants to have me arrested?” My frown matched Nick’s. “We didn’t do anything wrong. If anything, you should arrest him. Any man who attacks women with rotten fish has got something wrong with him.”

  The corners of Nick’s mouth tugged up. “I need to arrest more than one person for this illegal activity?”

  “Oh, no. There was no one else involved. It was just me.” I wasn’t getting Selina in trouble.

  “The Flounder seemed most interested in having you arrested. Although, he did mention a crazy looking gray-haired woman with you. I wonder who that might be.”

  We both looked up as the rain that had been threatening pounded onto the cobblestones. For a second, I was tempted to leave Nick outside to get soaked. It would serve him right for wanting to arrest me.

  He raised his eyebrows and hunched his shoulders. “Shall we continue this inside?”

  “Fine. You’d better come in.” I nudged my boots and coat into the rain.

  As I shut the door and turned into the room, I was surprised by how much Nick filled the tiny lounge. I was used to it just being me.

  As he stood in the middle of the room, his gaze shifting around as he took in his surroundings, the place seemed too small.

  Nick finished his inspection of my lounge. “Tell me what happened.”

  I let out a sigh. “Why don’t we have tea first? I need it after being attacked by rotten fish.”

  Nick tried to repress another smile and failed. “Tea would be good.” He followed me into the kitchen.

  I busied myself with mugs and milk as I waited for the kettle to boil. “I’m surprised you could spare the time to come here, given how busy you seem to be right now.”

  “I was in the area when the call came through,” Nick said. “The Flounder was so angry, I thought it would be easier to drop by and sort things out. Otherwise, I’d have to convince you to come to the station for questioning, and you never turn up when you’re supposed to when I need a statement from you. Anyone would think you don’t like the police.”

  “It’s not that.” I set out some cookies, not meeting Nick’s gaze. “I’m busy.”

  “Busy getting involved in matters that you shouldn’t.” Nick took a cookie and bit into it. “These are good.”

  “They should be. Laura made them.”

  “Do you bake?” Nick asked.

  I glanced at him. “I try, but with Laura’s diner down the road, I’ll never beat her amazing creations. How about you?”

  “I cook,” Nick said. “Desserts aren’t my thing. I make a good stir fry and my homemade veggie burgers are decent enough.”

  That was interesting, but not a surprise. Nick lived alone, he’d need to fend for himself. Either that or spend a fortune on takeout food.

  “Let’s go through to the lounge.” I picked up the plate of cookies, and Nick took the mugs.

  I settled in my favorite seat and waited for Nick to start his interrogation. I was a little worried. We had been trespassing. I wasn’t big on breaking the law, but it was for a good cause.

  Nick looked at me. “Tell me what you were doing on The Flounder’s boat.”

  I broke a cookie in half. “It was nothing. I wanted to know the price of crab.”

  Nick shook his head and took a drink of tea. “Try again.”

  “I wasn’t doing any harm.” I ate half of my cookie.

  “You boarded his boat without permission. From his yelled account of what happened, he found you below deck trying to steal from him,” Nick said.

  “That’s not true,” I said. “There’s nothing to steal down there. It’s tiny and cluttered and full of revolting smelling fish things.”

  “So, you were below deck and you did board his boat without permission,” Nick said.

  I winced. “I was there because he’s involved with the zombies who have gone missing. He doesn’t think the zombies are important.”

  “What makes you think The Flounder would take zombies?” Nick asked.

  I studied him for a few seconds before replying. Nick wasn’t raising his voice or si
ghing, which I took as good signs he was prepared to listen. “The Flounder doesn’t treat the zombies properly. He doesn’t pay them a wage, only fish, which I’m sure they like, but it’s not the point. He sees zombies as cheap labor. He could be taking them, working them to death, and not feeding them properly.”

  Nick scrubbed his fingers across the stubble on his chin. “It’s a possibility, but why wouldn’t he feed them properly? The Flounder has had zombie deck hands for as long as I can remember. He feeds them the scraps and leftovers from his hauls of fish. That’s quality food for a zombie. If anything, they do him a favor by gobbling up the fish he can’t sell.”

  “He doesn’t pay them money,” I said. “Every zombie employee is entitled to a wage.”

  Nick nodded. “You’re right. I’ll have words with The Flounder about that, although it’s more a Council matter. He makes enough money from his boat to pay the zombies.”

  “We need to watch out for our vulnerable residents,” I said. “Other people might start exploiting them if they learn what The Flounder’s doing.”

  “We do.”

  I sucked in a breath. “What next?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Are you going to charge me with trespassing?” I asked.

  “If The Flounder insists, I’ll have to investigate further.”

  “The missing zombies need me. I had to investigate a suspect.”

  “No, you don’t. You have to leave that to me.”

  “But you’re busy. I’m trying to help.”

  “You’re making more work for me. I shouldn’t be here.”

  “You don’t like my tea and cookies?”

  He shrugged. “I’ve had worse.”

  Nick was such a charmer. “So, how do we get around The Flounder? Is there any chance you can say I’m freelancing for you?”

  Nick chuckled. “Zero chance. Perhaps if I mention the issue about the zombie wages and suggest these charges against you won’t be easy to make stick, it might prevent you serving time inside.”

  “I wouldn’t serve any time for something so trivial.” I cast a worried look at Nick.

  Nick raised an eyebrow. “Don’t be so sure about that. We have history. Don’t do it again.”

  “I won’t,” I muttered. At least, the next time, I’d be more discreet.

  “Your lack of conviction is worrying,” Nick said, “despite what The Flounder did to you. Isn’t getting covered in rotting fish enough to put you off going anywhere near his boat for the rest of your life?”

  I sniffed a strand of my damp hair. “Can I charge him with assault by rotten fish?”

  Nick’s smile looked genuine. “How about you both forget charging each other with anything?”

  Since Nick seemed to be in a good mood, I decided to press my luck. “About these missing zombies, are you going to do anything? If The Flounder is hiding them, we need to figure out where they are and set them free.”

  Nick drained his mug. “I’ll admit, I’ve been distracted with Council business. Now they’re off my back, I’ll look into it.”

  “That’s great. I’ve got ideas for other suspects—”

  “Wait! I’ll look into it on one condition,” Nick said. “You stay out of it. If somebody is taking the zombies, for whatever reason, you don’t get involved. We could be dealing with an unprincipled person who might decide you’re causing them problems. That puts you at risk.”

  I ate the other half of my cookie as I thought through Nick’s proposition. “Will you start investigating straight away?”

  “I’ve already asked Alex to compile the information and make inquiries around town with the people who’ve lost their zombie employees.”

  “That’s good,” I said. “So long as you keep looking for them, I’ll stay out of the way. If I do hear anything—”

  “You tell either me or Alex. We’ll add it to the case file and investigate as we see fit,” Nick said.

  I hated that idea, but Nick was trying to be helpful. “If I do find out anything useful, I’ll pass it on to you.”

  Nick nodded and sat back in his seat as he ate another cookie.

  For once, we were getting on. It was oddly nice not to be arguing, and the faint fishy smell on my hair didn’t seem to bother him.

  Despite not minding Nick’s company, I needed to head to the office. I’d left Zara alone for too long. I didn’t want her worrying about me or getting panicked if the phone kept ringing.

  I gathered the mugs as a gentle hint it was time for Nick to leave.

  He took the hint and stood. “I’ll leave you to it. It seems I’ve got some missing zombies to find.”

  I smiled at him. “Yes, and I’ve got Valentine’s dance feedback to sort through. Did you enjoy yourself last night?”

  “The dance?” Nick scratched his head. “It was interesting.”

  “You didn’t stay for long.” I set the mugs on the kitchen worktop.

  “It wasn’t my sort of thing. You seemed to be having a good time with that new guy. What’s his name?”

  “Grant.” I smiled. “He makes a great addition to Zee Town. He’s helping Bill at the store.”

  “I’ve been by the store a couple of times. Grant seems very... excitable.”

  “He is enthusiastic about life,” I said.

  “Are the two of you dating?” Nick looked at the floor.

  “No! Well, it’s nothing serious. At least not yet.”

  “He seems to like you,” Nick said.

  “Don’t seem so shocked. Some people do like me. Not everyone thinks I’m nosy and interfering.”

  “Not everyone runs the police station.” Nick ran a hand through his hair. “I didn’t mean that. You’re a nice person.”

  I opened my mouth, but no words came out. I was so shocked by Nick being pleasant.

  “I should go.” Nick moved to the front door, tripping on the edge of the rug in his haste to leave.

  “Keep me informed about the missing zombies.” I hurried over and opened the door for him.

  “Am I reporting to you now?” Nick asked, his gaze on the gray sky, the rain still falling in a soaking torrent.

  A thread of irritation traced through me. “No, I just want to know what’s happening. I need to know our zombies are safe.”

  “I can’t give you special treatment, Cassie,” Nick said. “You’ll know what’s happening along for the rest of the town.” He walked away, his hands in his pockets and shoulders hunched.

  I shut the door, a frown on my face. I hadn’t been asking for special treatment, I just wanted to be kept informed. Nick wouldn’t even know about the missing zombies if I hadn’t told him.

  Despite what I’d said, I would continue my own discreet inquiries. I’d just make sure Nick didn’t know what I was doing. It wouldn’t do any harm, both of us working on this mystery.

  After quickly drying my hair, I grabbed another coat from the cupboard and hurried to the office. I still had my own work to do if I wanted to keep my job.

  ***

  It was getting late, and the lights were on in the street outside the office window as I shut down my computer. “It’s time to go home,” I said to Zara.

  She stood and ambled to the door. Before she could open it, Grant bounded through, grinning when he spotted me.

  “I’ve been thinking about you all day.” He had a bright smile on his face. “I had a lovely time last night.”

  “I did as well,” I said. It felt nice to know I was being thought about.

  “What’s this?” Grant grabbed the card from my desk and flipped it open. “Have I got a rival?”

  I tilted my head. Grant seemed surprised at seeing the Valentine card. Maybe he hadn’t sent it to me. That was interesting. If it wasn’t Grant, who else would send me a Valentine’s card?

  I took the card from him. “It’s most likely a friend having a joke.”

  “I’ll fight any rival who tries to take your hand from me.” Grant smiled broadly. He turned to
the window. “What’s with all those hanging things you’ve got on display?”

  “Those are my trinkets. I make them.”

  Grant walked to the window and ran his hand along some of the trinkets, making them chink together and glisten in the light. “They’re pretty. You’ll have to make me one.”

  “Bring good luck.” Zara still stood by the door.

  “Do they now?” Grant peered at her. “Oh! You’re a zombie!”

  Zara nodded and looked over at me, seeming to seek reassurance.

  “Zara’s been working here for a while. She is the best assistant a woman could have.” I smiled at her.

  Grant shook his head. “I still can’t get used to them. I know this is what Zee Town is all about, but it’s so odd walking along the street, bumping into a zombie, and them not trying to eat you.”

  “Odd in a good way,” I said. “These are different times. Our zombies are safe.”

  “Yes, I guess they are.” Grant walked away from the window toward my desk. “Are you free for lunch this weekend?”

  “I definitely am.” I hoped I didn’t sound too eager.

  “I thought we could try the Boat Shed,” Grant said. “People say good things about the food.”

  “It serves amazing seafood, and they do a range of tasty veggie burgers and salads.”

  “Great! I’ll meet you there at noon on Saturday, shall I?” Grant asked.

  “I’m already looking forward to it,” I said.

  “Fab! I can’t stop. I had to close the store to come and see you. Uncle Bill will not be pleased knowing I’ve done that.” Grant bounded out the office as quickly as he’d arrived.

  Zara gazed after Grant’s retreating form. “He’s loud.”

  I grinned. “Yes, he does seem a little... excitable.” The word Nick had used to describe Grant earlier seemed appropriate.

  My gaze shifted to the Valentine’s card, and I picked it up. If Grant hadn’t sent it to me, who had? Zara and Jen both pleaded innocence to sending me a card.

  I took the envelope for the card out of my desk drawer and went to slide it in. As I did so, I spotted something in the bottom of the envelope. I shoved a finger into the envelope and pulled out what looked like a hair.

  As I inspected it closely, my mouth went dry. It was a tan and black dog fur. That had to belong to Stool.