by Kara Lennox
With each thrust she rose up to meet him, counter-thrusting almost as hard as he did. He was still afraid of hurting her, she was so small, but she did not seem bothered by his lack of finesse.
He didn’t last long. Even if he kept his eyes closed, he intuitively saw her—her wild, tangled hair the color of dark chocolate, her lips moist and red as if she’d been eating cherries, her dark eyes glazed with passion. Her image was etched into his brain—at that moment, he believed it would be the last thing he ever could forget.
He held on until he felt her tighten around him. When she found her release, she screamed loud enough to break glass and he cried out words of encouragement and meaningless endearments until he, too, shook the house with the intensity of his peak.
When the real world came back into focus, Nadia was weeping. Rex quickly withdrew from her, hoping like hell he’d done the right thing by giving in to her slightly mad seduction. What if he’d just made everything worse?
But maybe she was just crying from her climax. It was a common physiological reaction and might have little to do with her current state of emotions. He gathered her against him and just held her while she wept.
She quieted after a few minutes, but she made no move to pull away. He could have held her like this forever, with the dying fire casting a red, unearthly glow over the whole room, as if they were in a cocoon where no one and nothing could touch them.
But reality intruded soon enough.
“You must think I’m insane, a monster, to want to have sex with a man I barely know when my daughter’s been kidnapped by a maniac.”
“I don’t think anything like that. It’s normal.” And he told her about his previous experiences in life-or-death stress situations, and how she needed a safe outlet for her emotions. He thought she was somewhat comforted by his words.
“It’s not very fair to you, though,” she said. “You must feel used.”
“When was the last time you heard a guy complain about that?” he teased.
“Well, at any rate, I want you to know that it wasn’t just because you were available and had the right equipment. I would never have done that with just anyone. In fact, I’ve never—well, not since Peter, anyway.”
“You don’t owe me any explanations, Nadia.”
“But I need to say it. It’s true I don’t know a lot about you, but I know most of the stuff that counts. You’re smart and you’re kind and incredibly gentle—”
“Gentle?” That was a word he’d never heard applied to him. Ex-sniper bounty hunters weren’t usually described in those terms.
“Yes,” she insisted. “You would never hurt me, or anyone innocent. I know that about you as surely as I know the color of your eyes.”
She was right about that, anyway. In only a few hours he’d come to feel incredibly protective toward her. But he’d always been a bit of a sucker when it came to defenseless women. That was part of what had ended his military career.
“You should know something about me, though,” Nadia continued. “It can’t be anything more than the here and now for me. Not that you’d be interested, but just in case.”
It took him a few moments to assimilate what she meant. “You mean you can’t get involved.”
“Yes, that’s what I mean.”
Rex should have felt relieved. Usually he was the one who made that speech. He’d learned through painful trial and error that he wasn’t destined for a long-term relationship. Men like him didn’t mix well with normalcy—dating, meeting parents, remembering birthdays, going to company Christmas parties. Those few women he’d hooked up with who weren’t totally freaked out by his history quickly tired of the other garbage they had to put up with. His schedule was unpredictable, and he often picked up with no notice at all and would be gone for weeks. Then there was the fact that he never knew when some jerk he’d dragged into custody might get paroled and come gunning for him.
Most women didn’t like sleeping with a loaded gun always within reach. Most women couldn’t tolerate a man who wouldn’t sleep through the night, either.
But having Nadia beat him to the punch—well, it wasn’t good for his ego, he supposed.
“I don’t do relationships,” he said. “You’re safe.”
“Really? Why not?” She propped herself up on one elbow and absently toyed with his chest hair. Then she ran her finger over the bandage that covered his most recent injury. She looked a damn sight better than she had before they’d had sex.
“You first.”
“I know what you’re thinking,” she said. “That after Peter, I think all men are jerks, once bitten, twice shy and all that.”
“That’s not the case?”
“I know there are good men in the world. My father was one. Here’s the thing, though. Any two-bit terrorist can do what Peter’s done—blackmail me by threatening the person I love. Even if I didn’t have physical access to dangerous technology, I have things in my head that should never be shared. The more people I have in my life, the more vulnerable I am.”
“You can’t go through life—”
“Lily is everything I need,” she said softly.
God, no wonder she was so panicked at the thought of anything happening to her daughter. Not that any mother wouldn’t be, but Lily was everything she had—everything.
They were silent for a while as reality reestablished itself around them—the reality that Lily was absent. Then Nadia said, “Your turn.”
After Nadia’s confession, he couldn’t very well blow her off now. “Bounty hunters don’t make good boyfriends,” he said, simplifying his explanation.
“You could do something else.”
“So could you. You don’t have to work in top-secret research.”
“Touché. You love your work?”
“It keeps me busy.” He paused, realizing she deserved a less flippant answer. “I honestly don’t know what else I would do.”
“Same here.”
That pretty much negated any possibility of this going anywhere. And he didn’t want it to, Rex reminded himself. He had no business feeling even the tiniest disappointment.
But he did.
NADIA STILL COULD NOT believe she’d done what she’d done. Even if there was a logical explanation for it, she felt guilty for focusing on something so trivial-seeming as sex while Lily was missing and in danger. Now, in addition to worrying about her daughter, she had to deal with the awkwardness of ending this interlude and moving forward as if nothing had happened.
She eased away from Rex and looked at his bandaged arm again. “How is your arm? I should have been more considerate. I might have hurt—”
“My arm is fine. Why don’t you take a long, warm shower?” He sat up and smoothed Nadia’s hair across her shoulder in a caress that was anything but awkward. “It’ll help you sleep.”
“I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep.”
“It would be good if you could.” He pushed up to his feet in one graceful move, totally unself-conscious about his nudity. He was a gorgeous man, all firm muscle and sinew, not an ounce of anything soft on him. The red glow from the dying fire cast intriguing shadows across the hard, flat plains of his musculature. He seemed to be tan all over, though the taut skin of his buttocks was slightly more pale than the rest of him.
When he offered her his hand, she used it to pull herself up, wishing she had a robe handy. This was one sit uation with which she was totally unfamiliar. She’d never been very adventurous where sex was concerned, and she’d always had at least some bedcovers she could hide under when feeling shy.
To his credit, Rex didn’t stare, nor did he make a point of averting his gaze. He seemed comfortable.
Taking a deep breath, she raised up on her tiptoes and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek in gratitude.
“What was that for?” he asked.
“For taking care of me.”
“I wasn’t exactly ignoring my own needs,” he said, looking down at his feet.
PETER HAD FOUND A SPOT on a street one block away, on the side of a hill, from which he had a good view of Nadia’s house. He’d been watching for an hour, now, long enough to know she was home. The curtains and blinds were all drawn, so he had no hope of actually seeing inside. But he’d been watching lights go on and off.
He’d also seen the huge, black dog come out the back door, do its business, then return inside. Since when had Nadia gotten a dog? For protection? Against him, perhaps?
He shook his head at her foolishness. A guard dog was no match for a bullet.
He saw the bathroom light go off. At almost the same instant, the kitchen light went on. And suddenly he was no longer amused as he was reminded of the fact that Nadia wasn’t alone. He’d told her to ditch the bounty hunter, and she had refused. She’d refused! He had her daughter. She should be desperate to follow his orders. What was wrong with her?
He’d wanted Nadia alone, isolated, where he could prey on her worst fears and she would have no one to console her. But she wasn’t alone. That bounty hunter was coaching her to defy him. She’d never talked back to him before, never made demands. When he caught up with the bounty hunter, Peter thought with a grin, he’d kill him. And he’d make Nadia watch.
Chapter Seven
When Nadia emerged from the bathroom wrapped in her favorite, raggedy terry robe, the bedroom was empty. Feeling suddenly anxious, she hurried out to the hallway and down to the living room. “Rex?”
“In the kitchen,” he answered back. Wearing a pair of sweatpants and a long-sleeved U.S. Marines T-shirt, he poured milk into a saucepan on the stove. Sophie, who was the most well-behaved dog Nadia had ever encountered, lay at Rex’s feet. The box Peter had sent and its pseudogrisly contents were gone.
“How’re you doing?” Rex asked.
“Better, I guess.” The panic that had been expanding in her gut, threatening to erupt all day, had receded somewhat. The fear was still there, but Nadia now felt as if she had some control over it, that it wouldn’t overwhelm her and drive her completely mad. “I still don’t think I’ll be able to sleep.”
“That’s why I’m making hot chocolate.”
“I think a couple of horse tranquilizers would work better.”
“You wouldn’t take tranquilizers even if I had them.”
“How do you know that?”
“You don’t like to let go of your control.”
He was right, and it unnerved her that Rex could read her so accurately. She’d always insisted on having a handle on every aspect of her life, whether it was her job, her health, her home or her child. It had hit her especially hard when she’d not been able to save her beloved Nana from the ravages of the horrid disease that had taken her with such agonizing slowness. It had hit her even harder when she’d realized her marriage was a complete sham and she had no power to fix it.
“It seems wrong to sleep while my baby is out there somewhere,” she said. Then again, it had seemed wrong to have sex, and she’d done that. Her face burned at the sudden reminder.
“You have to sleep. Tomorrow, when things start happening, I’ll need you at a hundred percent.”
“I’ll try.”
She sat with Rex in the breakfast nook and sipped at the hot chocolate. She wanted to look out the blinds and reassure herself that Peter wasn’t on her patio. She kept imagining him lurking out there, ready to crash through a window and snatch her away. But Rex had cautioned her to keep the blinds closed. Sophie would know the instant anyone came close.
“Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight?” she asked.
Rex looked slightly startled by the question, but Nadia wanted to know, and she wasn’t the type to mince words.
“Oh, yeah. I want to. But only if you’d feel comfortable.”
“I’d feel safer.” She’d never been afraid to be alone. She’d been a loner as a kid, a brainy nerd with her nose buried in science books, and it had never bothered her. Even after the jaw-breaking incident with Peter, she hadn’t felt afraid, exactly. She’d become extracautious about her personal safety, a bit anxious on occasion, but her precautions had given her a false sense of security.
Now she felt afraid to be alone. Even in the shower, she’d had a moment or two of unease.
“Then I’ll stay with you.”
Okay, that was settled. In an uncomfortably businesslike fashion, she admitted. Granted, she was the one who’d made it very clear that she was not up for anything beyond a quickie night of passion. But the night wasn’t over by several hours, and she wouldn’t have minded hiding away in a comforting cocoon of counterfeit intimacy, at least until sunrise.
But Rex had been accommodating enough. She couldn’t possibly ask for anything more from him. He probably already thought she was a needy sex fiend.
“Do you want more?” he asked, nodding toward her almost-empty mug.
She shook her head and stood, taking both their mugs to the sink. Rex just shook his head as she scrubbed them both, put them in the dishwasher, added soap and turned it on.
“You don’t even wait until it’s full to run it?”
“I run it every night. I can’t stand the thought of those dirty dishes getting germier by the minute while I sleep.”
“But they’re not dirty. You scrubbed them sterile before you even put them in the dishwasher.”
“We’re not going to agree on this.”
He smiled. “No, I guess we’re not.” He held out his hand to her, and she took it. They walked together, hand in hand, to the bedroom.
“You’ll be all right while I take a shower?” he asked.
“Sure. Sophie will guard me.”
“I’ll leave the bathroom door open. Just yell if you need me.”
While Rex was showering, Nadia took off her robe and crawled under the covers. It was after midnight, and she’d gotten almost no sleep the previous night at the hotel. Two days ago, her life had been incredibly normal—cleaning house, giving Lily a bath, shopping. Shopping. If only she’d put that off…but no, Peter would have gotten to her somehow.
She let her thoughts drift toward Lily, picturing her soft, curly hair, her rosebud mouth, her incredibly dark brown eyes. What if she never saw her baby again? What if someday she forgot what Lily looked like, what she smelled like, what it felt like to hold her warm little body in her arms?
Rex emerged after a very quick shower with a towel wrapped around his lean hips. He took the clothes he’d been wearing and tucked them into his duffel.
“I sprayed that stuff on your shower door so it wouldn’t get soap scum.”
“I’m not a freak. You can leave any kind of mess you want. You can even leave dirty towels on the floor. I won’t say a thing.”
“You’ll just quietly clean up after me. No, we’re not going there. I’ll just hang this up now.” He stepped back into the bathroom, removing his towel as he did, then returned to the bed nude. “I don’t wear pajamas.”
“Not a problem.” Not at all. She’d have been disappointed if he’d climbed into bed wearing anything as pedestrian as pajamas. Didn’t suit his image.
He turned out the lights, told Sophie to patrol the house and climbed under the covers. “Do you want me to stay on my side of the bed?”
“No.”
“Good.” He slid an arm under her shoulders and pulled her close, nestling her against his chest.
She inhaled deeply and realized he’d bathed with her girly-smelling shower gel. On him, though, it didn’t smell girly, just clean and citrusy and—oh, she didn’t want her thoughts going there.
“Just a warning,” he said. “I can’t hold you like this and not get aroused. You probably noticed.”
No, she’d been too busy noticing her own state of arousal. “I’m sorry. Do you want me to—”
“I want you to sleep.”<
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“But—”
“Sleep.”
“Okay.” And amazingly, she did.
NADIA STIRRED some hours later, disoriented and cold. She knew something was wrong but had a hard time figuring out what it was at first. Then she remembered. Lily was gone. And Rex was no longer in bed beside her.
She heard a noise, a sort of groan, and knew instantly that was what had awakened her. Rex! Had something happened? Had Peter gotten in, gotten past the dog and taken Rex by surprise? Was he in her bedroom, ready to pounce on her?
She’d left a light on in the hallway, which sent a sliver of light through the partially open door—enough that she could make out the shape of Rex’s gun lying on the nightstand on his side of the bed.
The groaning noise came again. It was definitely in the room with her, on the floor near the other side of the bed.
Nadia crawled across the bed, grabbed the gun, pointed it toward the doorway and switched on the bedside lamp. If she saw Peter, she would shoot him.
But what she saw was Rex, naked, lying half under her bed and groping the floor, trying to pick up something that wasn’t there.
She realized immediately what was happening and tossed the gun on the bed. She was by Rex’s side in an instant, but she hesitated to wake him up abruptly. She’d awakened her grandmother from a nightmare once and the old woman had grasped Nadia by the throat and, with surprising strength, had very nearly strangled her unconscious before she’d come fully awake and realized what she was doing.
Nadia moved a couple of feet away. “Rex? Rex!”
“It’s gone!” he cried, the first intelligible words he’d said. “Where is it?”
“Rex!” Nadia said, louder this time. Conventional wisdom said not to wake someone during a nightmare, but she couldn’t just sit there and watch him suffering from what was obviously a very vivid, very upsetting dream.
His eyes opened, but she wasn’t sure he saw anything other than what was in his mind’s eye. “She’s killed them all.” He went limp, burying his face in the carpet, his shoulders heaving as he hyperventilated.