by A. L. Zaun
Our breakfast arrived in the nick of time. As supportive as I wanted to be, I was finding it hard not to visibly cringe each time he mentioned her name or lunge across the table and strangle him until he stopped talking about her. I hate her.
He looked at the bowl, grimacing and then his eyes shot up to meet mine.
“Maddy, we’re on vacation. I want real food.” He surveyed the room. “We’re at a fucking diner. Smell that.” He inhaled and smiled. “Bacon. I’m hungry. I used up a lot of energy last night.”
“Yes, and this morning, too.” I brought a spoonful of the parfait to my mouth, making sure to keep my eyes on his hazel ones as I slowly opened my mouth and licked off the creamy delight.
His eyes sparkled. “What I wouldn’t do to be that yogurt.”
“One of these days, you’ll actually trust me.” I winked. “Now, focus, and tell me the rest of your story.”
We were back to the familiar, except the banter and glances now carried a different meaning—the hidden desire was now an open one.
“Focus?” He shook his head. “You just fucked the spoon with your mouth. You do that shit all the time, and this”—he signaled to his pants—”wants some of that.”
“You need to learn self-control,” I said flatly, trying to hold back the smile. I want some of that, too.
“I can tell you want me.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “And you’ve wanted me for a long time.”
“Get over yourself, and finish the story.” I rolled my eyes.
“It was touch and go after Liam got there. I could have spun things to make my actions look romantic, or I could’ve let her believe I was a motherfucking lying asshole.”
“Which you are,” I pointed out, pursing my lips.
“But I didn’t work the angle,” he said before finishing his coffee.
“Why?”
“Chocolate pudding cake.” He smiled at me.
“Now, who’s being cryptic?” I asked before wiping my mouth with a napkin. “I’m having brunch with my grandfather later this morning. I’m sure you can entertain yourself for a few hours while I’m gone.” If he was going to play games with me, then he could enjoy his own company for a while.
His lip curled in a devious grin as he reached for his wallet to pay the bill. “You can dish it out, but you can’t take it?” His phone chirped, and he shook his head. “My mother. Come on, I have to call her back before she sends out a search party.”
Outside, the cold air whirled around us.
Rick quickly brought me in front of him. “Babe, I need you to be my human shield.”
“You’re such a gentleman.” I widened my eyes and shook my head. “So much for your charm.”
“Madison, sweetheart, come here and let me hold you close.” He wrapped an arm around me in an embrace.
God, he smelled good and felt fantastic.
“I want to feel your heat against my body,” he whispered, gazing into my eyes.
“You’re working the cheese factor,” I said flatly, trying to maintain my control.
“Give me a minute.” He tapped on his phone and then held it at arm’s length from his ear. “She’s gonna be—”
Very fast and loud Spanish was being uttered from the phone.
“Buenos dias, Mami.” He widened his eyes and nodded his head. “I love you, Ma.” He smiled, raising his eyebrows. “Relax. I’m fine. I texted you that I was celebrating in New York. I’ll be home tomorrow morning.” He ran his lips over mine. “Yes, that sounds great. We’ll have dinner and celebrate this weekend.” He deepened the kiss, pressing himself against me. “I’ll call you when I land. I have to go. Something’s come up.”
He nodded his head rapidly while she continued talking. I slipped my leg between his, feeling his growing erection.
“Love you, Ma,” he said before pressing the red End button on his phone.
“Something’s come up?” I asked impishly, holding back my grin.
“Yes, I have pressing matters I have to take care of,” he said, leaning into me.
“You’re out of control, you know that?” I asked, slipping my hands in the pockets of his coat.
“Admit it.” He tucked back a stray hair that had escaped my cashmere knit hat. “You love that I can’t get enough of you.”
“Your lunacy is growing on me—that much I’ll give you.”
We started walking side by side when he brought his arm around my shoulder.
I’m liking this a little too much.
“Mama Marin didn’t sound too happy,” I teased.
“Ah, she’s fine. She does this shit for attention. When I was in hot pursuit of you, I didn’t take her calls or answer her text messages. She thought I was dying in some ditch. Sometimes, she drives me fucking insane with her meddling, but for the most part, she’s awesome.”
“I don’t know why I fell asleep on the couch,” I blurted out, shocking myself.
What the hell is wrong with me?
I rubbed my lips together, trying to keep them from allowing anything else to come out of them, but the words pushed out. “I just did. I’m not used to this.” I motioned between us with my hands. “I don’t have men sleep over, I don’t do the boyfriend thing, and I certainly don’t talk about myself. You’re pushing me out of my comfort zone, Marin. I’m not sure how I feel about that. I am who I am, and that’s not going to change. So, take it or leave it.”
Am I giving him an out? Or do I actually think this could last?
He took a deep breath and looked away. “Who said I wanted you to fucking change? I woke up and wanted you next to me. I think you’re creating abandonment issues with me. Every time I need you, you’re gone.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Babe, I’m the last one who knows how to do a relationship. I prefer to just fuck women, and when I get bored of them, I move on to the next. It’s not complicated. I don’t deal with mood swings, drama, and communication shit. I don’t know what this is either.” He motioned between us. “But I want to figure it out because it’s nothing like I’ve ever experienced before.” He brought his lips to mine “You’re like no one I’ve ever known, but right now, Maddy, I think I’m the sane one, and that’s a fucking scary thing.”
“You have a way with words,” I said sarcastically, reaching for his hands. “Come with me, I want to go ice skating.” I stepped backward, leading him.
His dimpled smile popped. “Who the hell wants to be outside in this weather? You know…” He wiggled his eyebrows. “There’s something else we could do.”
I chuckled and shook my head. “You’re an idiot. Let’s go.”
He reluctantly walked with me, but he was smiling the entire time. “You know, that looks good on you.”
“What does?” I asked, confused, looking down at my coat.
“Happy.”
My cheeks warmed as I rested my head on his shoulder. His arm tightened around me, and we walked over to Wollman Rink in Central Park. The park was beautiful with its snow-covered trees. The springtime colors were always vibrant and beautiful, but there was something serene about the grays and whites. The moment was magical—if I believed in any of that.
As I took everything in, I was taken to another time when I’d come here with my grandparents as a little girl on Saturday mornings before brunch at Tavern on the Green. It had been our tradition, skating and making our figure eights. My grandmother had been graceful and elegant while my grandfather had been playful and competitive. We’d race around the rink, laughing the entire time. It had been a happy time and a very happy place. After Nana had gotten sick, we’d stopped coming. I hadn’t been back in years. In fact, so much had changed after she was gone.
“Do you want to tell me what all that shit with your brother was about last night?” he asked as we walked along the tree-lined path.
Daniela, Mason, Alex, Donovan’s, Mark’s, work, restaurants, bars, disappointment, betrayal, conflict, rejection, abandonment, and frustration had no place here.
My e
yes glanced over at him. I wanted this moment with him. I wanted to be the object of his affection. I felt myself letting go. Please catch me.
“Nope, not now,” I said, bumping my hip into his. “Let me have this.”
He brought his arm around my shoulder, dragging me against his body.
“I’ll race you.” I pulled away, jogging toward the ice rink.
“It’s too cold,” he whined, catching up to me. “Can’t I just snuggle here with you? Chicks like snuggling.”
“I’m not most chicks.” I snickered.
“I’m going to win, and then…”
He came up behind me, scooping me up in his arms.
I yelped like a silly girl, laughing and wrapped my arms around his neck. “You cheated.”
He dragged his nose along my jaw, tickling me with his stubble.
He softly began to sing, “I am the champion.”
We made our way down to the rink and got our skates. The diehards were already warmed up and skating their laps. Some were arm in arm. Others in the center were spinning or practicing simple jumps.
“Look, Rick. See, they all have smiles. They’re happy and having fun.” I laced up my skates, looking out over the rink and back at him. A warm smile spread across my face, and I inhaled deeply, taking it all in as I stood up and headed toward the ice.
I hadn’t had the freedom to be carefree and whimsical in so long. My focus had been my career, achieving my goals and trying to keep everything under control. In my spare time, I had kept people at bay so much so that I’d forgotten what it was like to feel light and young at heart.
“That’s not happy. That’s crazy as in they’re whack jobs. They all need to be institutionalized,” he mocked, wobbling on his skates.
I took his hand and led him onto the ice slowly. I skated around him—figure eights, small spins, a little jump here and there—until he got the hang of it. We laughed. We fell. We got back up. I didn’t have a care in the world. For a couple of hours, nothing else mattered but the two of us. Soon enough, we’d meet my grandfather for brunch and reenter life as we knew it. Until then, I was going to savor every second of this moment.
Chapter 14
Madison
Brunch on a late Sunday morning had been a tradition I’d shared with my grandparents. We’d been coming here for years since Sarabeth’s was just a bakery and jam store. I perused the storefront, and a flood of nostalgia washed over me.
I miss Nana.
Rick opened the door, and the scent of freshly baked goods and the warmth melting off the winter frost seductively lured us inside. I took off my gloves and stood on my tiptoes, looking for my grandfather. Rick’s hands wrapped around my waist, nuzzling in my neck.
I pulled away and gave him a look.
“I’m defrosting.” He grinned, nipping my ear.
Once again, I found myself taking in the environment as my eyes scanned the room. It was in my blood. I couldn’t help it. My lips curved in satisfaction as the servers in their white pressed shirts and aprons made their way from table to table. I tipped my head to the side as my eyes glanced at the masterfully adorned pastry counter, zeroing in on the chocolate truffle cake. I rubbed my lips together in anticipation. The flow and energy was harmonious. I inhaled deeply, breathing it all in, and then I exhaled slowly in complete bliss.
Waving from across the room, my grandfather got my attention. I reached down and grabbed Rick’s hand. As our fingers laced together, he squeezed, and my eyes darted to his as my stomach fluttered.
He’s only holding your hand, Madison. God, I’m pathetic.
He leaned into me. “When you get this look in your eyes, I want to kiss you like I mean it.”
“Behave, Rick,” I warned lightly. “My grandfather’s right over there. The threat of cutting off your dick if you embarrass me still stands.”
“That angelic look in your eyes with your badass attitude is a fucking lethal combination.” His eyes traveled my body, and a wide smile broke across his face.
Shaking my head, I asked, “What am I going to do with you?”
“A few ideas come to mind,” he replied before placing a kiss on my head. “I see through your tough act.”
“Think whatever you want if it makes you feel better,” I responded, keeping my voice impassive as I rubbed my thumb along his.
I sighed, relaxing my shoulders. I stole a quick peek at him and bit my lip to hold back the smile. I couldn’t believe what a difference twenty-four hours could make. I was at one of my favorite restaurants, about to have brunch with my two favorite men. Life was good. Weaving through the crowd toward my grandfather, I welcomed the emotion and gave myself permission to feel it.
As we rounded the last table, my grandfather stood up and came toward me. He wrapped me in a tight embrace. He looked down and said in his raspy voice, “I’m so sorry about last night. Your Nana always hated when I would get pulled away while we were having dinner. I promise, I won’t do it again.” He tapped my nose with his finger before extending his hand to Rick. “Good seeing you again, son. Come sit down, and have some coffee. You’re not used to this weather.”
“Is it obvious?” Rick asked with a grin and a sparkle in his eyes as he pulled out my chair.
Manners, Rick—oh, how they go a long way.
“I think the trembling was the first giveaway,” my grandfather teased, taking his seat.
Rick was a natural at all of this. He was smooth and charming with his wit and ability to strike up conversations.
He sat at ease, looking over the menu, and then he quietly chuckled. “I’m eating real food, so don’t even think about changing my order.”
I ignored him, laying my menu down. I knew exactly what I would be getting.
“Hmm…” My grandfather sat back with a smile on his face.
My eyes slid up to his, and I felt a warm flush touch my cheeks.
“This makes me very happy,” he said.
“And what would that be?” I asked as my eyes widened.
Grandfather winked at me. “So, Rick, tell me how you met Madison.”
Rick put down his coffee and leaned toward me, bringing his arm along the back of my chair. “Madison took pity on me and then proceeded to unleash all her pent-up frustration against men on yours truly.”
He threw on his salesman’s charm. It was as much a part of his personality as being an asshole. The only thing that made it appealing was the sincerity in his voice. The fact that his fingers played with the back of my neck didn’t hurt either.
I had never been the type to have a boyfriend. Even when I was younger and believed in the fairytale of a happily ever after, I was drawn to older men. After all, I’d spent the majority of my time surrounded by adults. Boys my age had bored me with their immaturity and stupidity. I’d dated a few in prep school. They had either wanted a blow job in the stairwell after school—classy—or to fuck in the backseat of the car—romantic. They hadn’t been the dregs of society. These had been affluent, educated young men who were selfish and spoiled. While the other girls in school would hike up their plaid skirts and have the third button of their shirt conveniently opened, I’d refused to play the game. The boys had eaten it up. The girls had hated me for it. I hadn’t given a shit either way.
Then…I’d met Jonathan, but that had been a lifetime ago.
***
Brunch was divine. I reclined in my chair, taking in the scene playing before me. Rick and my grandfather were arguing over who the true New York team was—the Yankees or the Mets. I hadn’t seen my grandfather so lost in a conversation or laughing so deeply in such a long time. He had occasionally glanced in my direction and winked, but then he’d returned quickly to his intense discussion with Rick.
I wasn’t sure how Rick had done it. I hadn’t thought once about the fiasco brewing with Donovan’s or the players involved—that could very well include the man sitting across from me. At that very moment, I also didn’t care whether or not Daniela was really out
of the picture.
Rick’s arm came over my shoulder as our server took my coveted dessert order. I was in heaven. My pocket buzzed repeatedly, but I’d ignored it. I chose instead to enjoy our brunch. Normally, I answered my calls almost immediately. That fact alone was probably what had sent Rick into a tailspin yesterday. I still hadn’t listened to all of his messages. Although, this morning, I had quickly glanced at his text messages, and I could see that he had been spiraling out of control.
I had, however, listened to Bruce’s rant. He’d promised he was going to kick Rick’s ass if he ever saw that ‘motherfucker’ again. He also believed it was the best thing I could have done by sending Rick a clear message that I was finished with him.
With that bit of information, I knew I’d have to do damage control when I returned. Other than that, Bruce had assured me that everything was under control and in good hands. He knew better than to fuck up his big opportunity to show me he could be more than a pretty face mixing drinks.
My phone continued buzzing. It wasn’t Rick being obsessive, so it could only be Bruce.
I really should take this.
“Um, excuse me, I need to take this call. I’ll be right back.” I pushed back from the table.
My grandfather quickly stood, and Rick awkwardly followed his example.
I glanced back over my shoulder to take them in one more time, my smile growing. As I walked toward the ladies’ room, I passed my chocolate truffle cake traveling in the opposite direction from me.
I shook my head quickly, bringing myself out of this romantic fog. If Bruce was calling me like a lunatic, it could only mean there was a problem. The fantasy was wonderful, but my life wasn’t on hold while I frolicked in Central Park and enjoyed myself at brunch. I needed to focus.
I reached into my pocket as I pushed open the restroom door and pulled out my phone. Opening the Messenger app, my mouth fell open in shock.
“Goddamn it,” I cursed.
My blood boiled, and my neck pulsed with a stabbing pain. I paced the small area in front of the sink, mumbling curses under my breath. I scrolled through all the messages, shaking my head in disbelief.