Shadow

by Christi J. Whitney

  I knew she was going to fall.

  There was no time. No thought. No hesitation. My feet pounded over the stretch of bleachers. My shoulders went taut, my back muscles flexed. Every pledge I’d made never to fly melted under the fire of adrenaline as I picked up speed.

  Josephine clung to the metal bar. Something primal exploded inside me. My wings snapped out. I was airborne and streaking across the tent like a rocket. Wind smacked my face as my wings pumped, carrying me to her. Josephine’s fingers slipped. I dove for her plummeting body.

  Oh God! I wasn’t going to make it! I snarled and pushed forward, stretching with all my might, intercepting her fall. My arms wrapped around her. Josephine’s body pressed against mine.

  I had to pull up! I had to pull up!

  I pumped my wings. It was like pulling an oar through water. The air wouldn’t relent. I gritted my teeth and forced my wings to move. My ears reverberated with the sound of flapping leather. The floor grew closer. Then, suddenly, my body changed direction, and we were climbing through air.

  Fresh adrenaline coursed through me. I snarled and banked hard to the right, avoiding the network of scaffolding and platforms as I flew around the high ceiling of the tent. The feeling was incredible; the sensation unlike anything I’d ever known. I threw my head back, almost laughing, until I felt trembling against my chest. Josephine wept into my shirt, clinging to me with iron fingers.

  Elation turned to horror. What if I hadn’t made it in time? She’d be—

  I banked again, gliding beneath the scaffolding. Everyone in the tent had stopped what they were doing and gathered at the center, pointing up at us. Andre hung from the motorcycle. The momentum had flung him upside down, and he was gripping the bike to keep from falling. I pumped my wings in his direction.

  There was no way I could pick him up, and I didn’t have a lot of control. I aimed for the swing that hovered above the cable. Holding Josephine tightly with one hand, I gripped the metal bar with the other as I flew by. I pulled in my wings slightly and dropped down, bringing the entire swing with me until the contraption righted.

  Andre settled himself expertly into the seat as I let go, and he drove the bike back down the cable. The crew was on him as soon as he was low enough. As I passed over, I could see his face. He was shaken, but seemed okay.

  I tipped my left wing to change direction, and I circled. My speed decreased as I closed in on the tent floor. The crew members and performers backed out of the way as I descended.

  I pressed my lips to Josephine’s ear. ‘Hold on, I’m going to land.’

  I’d only experienced a crash landing the first time I’d flown, and I wasn’t sure how this would work. I circled one more time, slowing as much as possible. And then I folded my wings. I hit the ground jogging, but that didn’t stop the jarring pain that shot up my spine as I made contact.

  I came to a stop several lengths from where my feet first touched. Quickly collapsing my wings against my back, I dropped to my knees and eased Josephine to the ground. She held to my shirt, still unwilling to let go, and I kept my arms around her.

  ‘I’m here, Josephine,’ I breathed softly. Her tears soaked through my shirt, and their warmth seeped through my skin. ‘You’re all right, Josephine.’ My eyes closed as I heard the rush of people coming our way. ‘You’re all right.’

  13. Closely Separated

  People pressed in all around us, talking frantically, but my attention remained on Josephine. Her shoulders quaked as she fought against tears, fingers wrapped so tightly in my shirt that I could feel the strain of the fabric against the back of my neck. Overwhelming sensations of terror and relief washed over me. I drew her closer, and stroked her hair. It was softer than I’d even imagined.

  ‘Josephine, please,’ I said, trying to catch my breath and calm her down all at once – and finding it impossible to do both. My voice was thick, heavy with a growl. I swallowed and tried again. ‘Josephine, it’s okay. You’re safe.’

  ‘Get out of the way, people!’ yelled a voice from the crowd. Karl pushed his way through the performers. ‘Let me through!’ The old trainer knelt beside me. His eyes met mine, and understanding flashed quickly over his face. ‘Josie,’ he said in a soothing, yet forceful tone. ‘Josie, look at me. I need to know where it hurts.’

  He reached for her knee, fingers pressing into muscles. Josephine cried out. The sound ignited fire inside me. I pulled her closer; my body shifted around hers in a protective crouch. I glared at Karl, the edges of my vision blurring into red.

  ‘Easy, Sebastian,’ he said softly, staring me right in the eyes.

  My lip curled back, and I bared my teeth.

  Karl raised his hands. ‘I’m not going to hurt her.’ He turned his palms out and slowly spread his arms. ‘I just need to examine her, all right?’

  He was talking me down. My low growls echoed in the sudden silence of the tent. Gypsy faces surrounded me – everyone watching, wary and unsure. Of me. I squeezed my eyes shut. Adrenaline pumped hotly through my blood, and I felt it banging like a hammer in my brain. I gritted my teeth and took deep breaths through my nose, forcing the protective instincts to let me go.

  I nodded slowly at Karl and released my grip on Josephine. He rubbed her shoulder and called her name again. Josephine’s trembling body gradually stilled. Her hand slid from my shirt, her fingers lingering on my chest for one brief moment. She turned her face to Karl, and he smiled.

  ‘May I?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Josephine replied, wiping her face.

  Karl’s fingers probed around her knee, and I saw the Gypsy girl wince. She was pale, but her expression was solid, almost defiant.

  ‘Josie, what were you thinking?’ Karl sighed. He glanced up at the long high wire cable. ‘Your knee may have been feeling better, but doing stunts like this won’t help it heal.’

  Josephine brushed the last streak of tear away, and a hard glint came into her green eyes. It seemed to be a Romany family trait. ‘I had to, Karl. The Circe opens in a few days, and we’ve barely had time to review that stunt. I’m not about to let it get axed!’

  ‘Josephine Romany, you’re impossible,’ he grumbled. ‘No practices for the rest of the week.’ She gasped and tried to get up, but the trainer put his hand on her shoulder. ‘I mean it. If you want to perform in the show, you have to give it a rest.’ Karl looked over his shoulder at Andre. ‘Can I trust you on this?’

  Andre’s face was lined with concern. ‘Yeah, no practice, Karl. I’ll make sure she doesn’t.’

  ‘Karl,’ she pleaded. ‘I’m fine.’

  Josephine pushed up to standing this time, and I stood along with her. She took a step forward and gasped in pain, catching my shoulder. I put my arm around her waist.

  Karl rose. ‘Sebastian, take her home.’

  His face was set on Josephine, and the tone of his voice was firm enough to quell whatever protest may have been on her lips. I felt Josephine’s frustration keenly, and I hated acting on Karl’s instructions, even if it was for the best. But with a guilty nod I slid my other arm under her legs and lifted her easily, cradling her against me.

  To my surprise, Josephine didn’t protest. Her body relaxed, and she slid her arms around my neck. I was acutely aware of the tense silence that had fallen over the crowd as I stood there with Josephine Romany in my arms. When I moved forward, the Gypsies immediately parted for me. I walked through the crowd and out of the tent, holding the most important thing in my life protectively against me.

  I expected Josephine to stiffen at any moment and insist I put her down, but she never did. Instead, she curled into me wearily, her head bobbing gently against my chest. She didn’t say anything. Neither did I.

  I crossed the center of the caravan, walking as smoothly as I could, soaking up the moment and feeling guilty while I did it. We reached the Romany’s trailer quicker than I wanted to, and I pushed open the door, nearly bowling Francis over in the process. His eyes widened as he moved aside to let me pass.
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  ‘Whoa, what happened?’ he asked.

  Josephine sighed. ‘It’s my own stupid fault, France. Andre and I were working on the bike stunt, and my knee gave out.’

  With great care – and a good bit of reluctance – I eased Josephine onto the living room couch. Her arms left my neck, and she gingerly stretched out her leg. Francis shook his head disapprovingly at her.

  ‘Didn’t Karl—’

  Josephine cut him off. ‘Yeah, I know. But I couldn’t skip another practice on that stunt. We’re too far behind as it is.’

  ‘Well, now it looks like you’re even more behind,’ Francis replied, crossing his arms. She shot him an angry look and then tenderly prodded her knee, wincing again. Francis glanced at me. ‘So what happened?’

  ‘She … fell.’

  Francis sucked air through his teeth.

  ‘But Sebastian caught me,’ Josephine added quickly.

  ‘Caught you?’ Francis repeated. His gaze drifted to my enormous wings. Then his tone changed. ‘Oh, wait.’ His brows lifted. ‘Do you mean, like, caught you?’

  ‘I slipped from the swing, and I was falling. And then, he was just … there, somehow. And we were … we were flying.’

  I studied the patterns in the carpet as the twins discussed my feat. My nerves weren’t completely settled, and I clenched my fists behind my back, just under my folded wings. I could feel Francis’ eyes on me.

  ‘Huh,’ he mused, sounding impressed.

  ‘I did what I had to do,’ I said.

  ‘You should’ve seen it, France,’ said Josephine. ‘It was like something right out of the show. Talk about an act that would have people on their feet!’

  ‘Except that nobody would ever see it,’ Francis replied, clapping me on the shoulder. ‘Can’t have the whole world knowing about our resident gargoyle, right Sebastian?’

  I tried not to flinch at his words. What it took to make me fly was exactly what I hated. It made me a freak. But that other part of me – the part that clawed deep at my guts on quiet nights when I was alone – had not only enjoyed the sensation, but craved it.

  ‘Yeah, we can’t have that,’ I replied, my voice tinged with a growl.

  ‘Well, I’ve … uh … got some work to do with dad,’ said Francis, taking a step back. He looked at Josephine and cleared his throat. ‘I’m glad you’re okay.’

  ‘Please tell Father that I’m fine,’ she said quickly. ‘I’m sure the whole troupe has heard about this by now.’ She hesitated for a moment before continuing. ‘And tell him that Sebastian’s with me, and I’m going to rest my knee for a while.’

  I looked at Francis, and he looked back at me. He made a face I couldn’t entirely interpret, a smirk tugging at one corner of his mouth. He shrugged. ‘Okay, whatever you say, Josie. I’ll see you two later.’

  He shot me another look, and then he was out the door. I bit my lip, my head already tingling. Anytime I was alone with Josephine, every sense in my body went into heightened overload. I was used to concealing it, but my hands trembled behind my back.

  ‘Could you bring me some ice, Sebastian?’

  Josephine rolled her pants up to her thigh to examine her swollen knee, and I could see faint tinges of pink along her cheekbones. Something about her coloring made my heart rate accelerate.

  ‘Yes, of course,’ I replied, hurrying out of the room. When I returned, I found Josephine attempting to arrange several pillows under her leg to prop it up. ‘Here, let me,’ I said, kneeling beside her. I adjusted the pillows and then held out the ice pack. ‘Do you mind if I put this on your knee?’

  She nodded. I gently placed the ice on her skin. Josephine gasped, but she made no move to hold it in place, so I kept my hand on the pack. She closed her eyes, pressing her lips together. The tingling in my body grew worse. The scents in my nose were distracting, and I had to breathe out of my mouth and look away –to focus on something else in the room.

  ‘That’s really, really cold,’ Josephine whispered.

  ‘I’m sorry.’ I lifted the pack off her knee. ‘Should I get a towel?’

  Josephine put her hand over mine and warmth radiated up my arm. ‘No, it’s fine,’ she replied, guiding the pack – and my hand – back to her knee. ‘It’s just not exactly a good feeling,’ she finished.

  Maybe the ice wasn’t, but the feeling of her hand on mine definitely was. ‘Okay.’

  ‘Thank you … for saving my life today.’

  I swallowed hard, not looking at her. ‘You’re welcome.’

  Josephine laughed, and I couldn’t resist lifting my eyes to meet hers. ‘You’ve been saying that a lot to me lately, haven’t you?’ she asked, smiling. She shook her head. ‘Then again, I’ve been thanking you a lot lately.’

  I returned her smile with one of my close-lipped ones. A silence fell between us that only heightened the current of electricity humming through me. For the hundredth time, I wished on everything sacred and precious that I could read Josephine’s mind. I felt the emotions swirling around her, and I was sure I could decipher them, if I concentrated hard enough – not that I could concentrate on anything right then.

  She brushed a strand of hair from her neck. ‘You know, back there in the tent, you lifted me like I weighed nothing.’

  The corner of my mouth tugged up. ‘That’s because you don’t.’

  ‘Something every girl wants to hear but, believe me, I weigh a lot more than nothing.’ Her gaze left mine and traveled down my shoulders. ‘You’re really strong. I mean, I could feel it, when you picked me up.’

  My half-smile dropped. I wasn’t sure how to answer. Josephine touched my arm, and my bicep tightened reflexively under her touch. ‘Like I said, you don’t weigh much.’

  ‘Have you always been that strong?’ she asked.

  ‘I guess.’ A memory of Avery pinning me down in a mock wrestling match not long after I’d started attending school surfaced in my brain. I’d thrown him off easily – too easily. I’d shied away from physical altercations after that. But knowledge about my strength – just like everything else about my life before I’d awakened – was just a void. ‘I never really thought about it before.’

  Josephine’s gaze drifted along my shoulders. Warmth spread across my face. My wardrobe had always included a jacket over whatever I was wearing. But now, after deciding not to hide my wings, I was suddenly very conscious of the lack of protective disguise.

  ‘What else can you do?’ Josephine’s voice was quiet, intensely curious. ‘Besides saving stubborn girls who don’t listen to their doctors, I mean. I remember that day in the cave under the bridge; you could see in the dark.’

  Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of her fingers trailing under the collar of her shirt, searching for her dandelion pendant. I remembered that day in the cave so well; the day I’d been changed. The day I’d pledged to protect Josephine, no matter what.

  The day I’d told her that I loved her.

  ‘Yeah, I can,’ I said, pushing the thought from my mind. ‘But it’s different than how I see in the daylight. There’s no color, exactly. Things look more like a black-and-white photograph, just really, really clear.’

  ‘That’s gotta be cool,’ she said.

  ‘Well, it keeps me from stubbing my toe on the way to the bathroom.’

  Josephine’s nose wrinkled in a laugh. ‘And what else?’

  ‘My senses are pretty good … smell, hearing …’ I saw Josephine’s gaze flick to my pointed ears, and I ran my hand self-consciously through my hair. ‘And I suppose I’ve got a pretty thick skin – at least, according to Karl.’

  ‘I remember what he said,’ Josephine said. ‘Diamonds are harder than stone.’

  ‘Apparently,’ I replied, studying my arm. ‘And I thought werewolves had it bad with the whole silver bullet thing.’

  ‘Well, at least diamonds are more difficult to come by, right?’

  ‘Unless you’re a Marksman.’ Instantly, I regretted my comment. We sat there for severa
l moments, not moving. My hand still held the ice pack on her knee. ‘Have you heard from him today?’ I asked.

  Josephine looked at me, surprised by my question. ‘No, I haven’t. Quentin doesn’t usually communicate with me when he’s out on assignment, but I honestly didn’t expect him to be gone this long, either.’

  ‘I’m sure you’ll hear from him soon, Josephine.’

  The smile that spread across her features made the turn of conversation worth it. I couldn’t help staring at the way her lips framed her teeth so perfectly. The smile worked its way over her entire countenance, making it shine.

  ‘Thanks, Sebastian.’

  ‘For what?’

  The Gypsy girl took the ice pack from my fingers and set it on the floor. ‘For being my friend.’

  She grabbed my hand. Despite her fingers – which were cold from the ice – intense heat seeped into my skin. My clawed fingers curled tentatively around hers.

  ‘Of course,’ I whispered.

  Josephine took a deep breath, and her bright eyes clouded over. ‘I’ve never really had many, you know. Friends, I mean.’

  Her confession floored me. How could someone like Josephine not have people beating down the door to be her friend? I remembered how easily she got along with everyone at school and how much Katie gushed over her. And I remembered the huge crowd at her birthday party. Josephine read my expression. She smiled, but this smile was not the one that lit up her face and made my heart flutter.

  ‘You don’t believe me?’ she asked.

  ‘Is it that obvious?’

  ‘Well, it’s true,’ she continued. ‘I’m not like Francis.’ She gave a tiny laugh. ‘He could make friends with anyone, and he does. He’s just got that kind of personality.’

  ‘But so do you, Josephine. Everyone adores you.’

  One of her brows arched delicately. ‘That’s not the same thing as having a real friend, Sebastian.’