by Mike Faricy
“I just wanted to tell you thanks, again. I phoned Andy Lindbergh this afternoon. I think it went pretty well and I have an appointment with him tomorrow. Can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done, man.”
“My pleasure, Tommy.”
He nodded like that seemed logical then just stood there looking like the new kid in the neighborhood hoping someone would pick him for their team.
I waited for a long, pregnant pause then asked, “You got a place to stay tonight?”
“My car, I was gonna park on one of the side streets down by the police station. It’s pretty safe down there, most of the time, usually.”
“Look, I got a spare couch. Why don’t you come on in and get a decent night’s sleep, shower and shave tomorrow morning so you’re on your best foot going in to talk with Andy.”
“That’s awfully nice of you, Dev. You sure I wouldn’t be cramping your style?”
“Tommy, it’s after two in the morning and I didn’t bring anyone home. I don’t have a lot going on right now so grab your stuff and come on in.”
“I’m traveling light,” he said and followed me up the steps.
I showed him where the guest bath was and got him a glass of water. “If you’re the first one up tomorrow this is how you make the coffee,” I said pouring water into the coffee maker then scooping six spoonfuls of grounds into the filter. “See that button at the base of the coffee pot?”
“Yeah.”
“All you gotta do is push that thing.”
“I think I can remember that.”
“What time are you meeting Andy tomorrow?”
“Eleven, I’m praying I’ll be walking out of there with a job.”
“Just be yourself, Tommy. Who wouldn’t want to hire you?”
Chapter Five
Tommy was gone by the time I got up, but then again it was almost noon. The coffee was still on with maybe a half-cup left in the pot. I just hoped all went well for both him and more importantly, Andy.
“Just calling to say thanks, again,” Andy said when he called a little after four.
“You hired him?”
“Yeah, in fact right now he’s working at the same desk where you failed so miserably, he’s been making collection calls since noon. No offense, but he’s already done about a thousand percent better than you.”
“Terrific.”
“Yeah, he wanted to work until eight tonight, said you actually get the best results between six and eight. Which I guess sort of makes sense.”
“He’d know better than me.”
“Or me. Anyway, I just wanted to thank you again, Dev. He’s gonna be a great addition. I’m thinking there are all sorts of possibilities for someone with his talents.”
“Glad to hear it, Andy, and thanks for giving him a chance.”
“Your guy get the job?” Louie asked looking up from the picnic table that served as his desk.
“Not only did he get it, but he’s working there right now. Andy says he’s already making an impact and wants to work until about eight tonight, says between six and eight is the best time to connect with folks for collections. Andy’s thrilled.”
“Great, so it’s a win all around?”
“Yeah, you know every once in a while I guess you can do something nice for someone and it doesn’t come back and bite you in the ass.”
We wandered over to The Spot for a few hours to celebrate Tommy’s success. When I pulled into my driveway later that night Tommy was standing on the front porch. It looked like he was just knocking on the door.
“So?” I said climbing the front steps.
“Oh hi, Dev, didn’t realize you weren’t home. Hey, I got the job. Actually, I worked until eight tonight, really a nice guy.”
“Well, I gotta tell you, I got a call from him this afternoon and he’s pretty damn happy. You’ll be a great addition there, Tommy.”
“I can’t thank you enough for the help, all the advice, putting me in touch with Andy and of course the place to stay last night.”
“My pleasure, Tommy. What are your plans for tonight?”
“Tonight?”
“That pretty much answers my question, you want to flake out on my couch again?”
“Would you mind? I have to be at work tomorrow by ten. God, it feels great having a job to go to.”
“Come on in,” I said then slipped my key in the lock. My front door was unlocked and I figured I must have forgotten to lock the door on my way out that morning which was very unusual for me.
I was going to throw some cold pizza in the microwave, but there wasn’t any in the fridge so I ordered another. Tommy had a piece when it arrived, but didn’t seem that hungry. He flaked out on the couch while I had another beer. I was going to make coffee for the morning, but it was already made. I figured I was losing my mind if I couldn’t remember making it and the best thing to do was just go to bed.
I spent the following day checking references and employment details on about a hundred job applications for a client, then I called Heidi to see about a night of debauchery.
“Hi, Heidi, you got any plans for tonight?”
“Nothing that can’t be postponed if the right offer comes across.”
“I would be happy to bring dinner over, or if you feel like it, I could wine and dine you at some intimate little place.”
“What’s this going to cost me?”
“Cost you? Nothing. You won’t have to pay a cent.”
“I wasn’t talking money, Dev.”
“Well, I don’t know, I suppose we could sort of see how the night goes and maybe….”
“I was kidding, dopey. It’s just nice to hear you grovel.”
“If it wasn’t so good, I wouldn’t have made this call in the first place, believe me you’re good and I’m groveling.”
“Pick me up at seven and you choose the place, but please, let’s go somewhere nice this time. Not those usual greasy spoon dives you go to for cheeseburgers and beer. Pick someplace romantic.”
“We could do dinner in bed.”
“I’ll see you at seven and don’t be late.”
I was at Heidi’s at 7:15, she wasn’t ready. We ended up at a quiet little Italian restaurant over on University forty minutes later. Despite the sheet of plywood covering the broken glass in the front door, it had the feel of a family place and apparently tonight the family wasn’t talking. The wife served as hostess and her husband was our waiter. They were both pleasant enough when dealing with us, but when they were away from the table we could hear them arguing in the kitchen.
“I wonder what he did,” Heidi said.
“I heard it on the news the other night, someone stole their ATM machine, hauled it right out of the place. That’s why there’s plywood over the front door.”
“Then I don’t blame her for being unhappy,” Heidi said and sipped.
I weighed my options, thought about the potential for the rest of the night. “You’re absolutely right.”
She looked at me for a long moment and said, “That was sweet, Dev.”
Despite the bickering emanating from the restaurant kitchen, we had a pleasant meal. On the way home, Heidi had that warm glow she gets when she’s very content and has been a little overserved. “Want to come in for a glass of wine and stay for breakfast?” she asked as we pulled up in front of her place.
“I think that sounds like a great idea.” I spent the night and woke up just long enough to hear Heidi tell me thanks before she flew out the door, then I rolled over and drifted back to sleep.
I went home to shower and change. Something didn’t seem right the moment I stepped in the door. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it and then I realized I smelled coffee. The pot was empty, the kitchen looked like I’d left it, but I was sure I smelled coffee. I felt the pot, it wasn’t warm, or was it? I opened the top and there wasn’t a filter or grounds in there, but there was moisture. I wasn’t sure, maybe it was just from the day before.
I checke
d the dishwasher, there were more mugs than usual, but then again Tommy had spent two nights here so that sort of made sense. Was the shower wet? I’d already turned it on when I noticed water on the glass, maybe, I couldn’t really tell. I wondered if I was becoming paranoid.
I had to deliver my results on all the employment references to my client later in the afternoon and I wanted to wear something more than a T-shirt. I pulled on some decent slacks, a clean golf shirt, but couldn’t find the sport coat I was looking for and wondered if I’d left it at someone’s house. Once again, the thought of losing what was left of my mind bounced around in my thick skull.
Chapter Six
A couple of days later I was at my desk scanning the apartment building across the street through my binoculars. One of the girls in the third floor unit had been running back and forth from the kitchen to a bedroom wearing just a towel around her head. I sat waiting patiently for her next appearance when the phone rang.
“Haskell Investigations,” I said holding the phone with my left hand and the binoculars with my right.
“Dev, Heidi.”
“Everything all right?”
“Yeah, I’m looking for a date, you busy tonight?”
“I’m sure I’ll be able to deliver whatever particular perversion you’re in the mood for.”
“Not what I meant, you perv. I have to go to a fundraiser tonight, a client sent me tickets. I just need someone on my arm. I had one of my girlfriends lined up, but she canceled.”
“Let me guess, that Mary Francis person.”
“How did you know?”
“Because she always cancels. Yeah, I can go with you. What time do you want me to pick you up?”
“Is six okay?”
“I’ll be there,” I said and went back to scanning across the street.
Heidi’s fundraising events were quasi-formal things that collected a higher class of criminal than the ones I usually rubbed shoulders with. These were big-time scammers; lawyers, politicians, bankers and business owners. The hors d’oeuvres would be lousy and too few, with lite beer that was warm and overpriced, watered-down drinks that were too expensive. Heidi usually made it worth my while at the end of the night.
I rang her doorbell right on time, after the third ring Heidi answered the door in her bathrobe.
“Don’t say anything. I’m almost ready, just give me a moment. Go pour yourself a beer in the kitchen.”
I did as commanded, then sat on a kitchen stool and sipped.
“Just be a minute,” she called about fifteen minutes later. I’d been here before, many times before. I figured since the hors d’oeuvres were bound to be lousy I’d search her cupboards. I came up with rice cakes and an opened bag of lime-flavored Dorito chips that were so stale they didn’t crunch when I bit into one. I ate them anyway.
“Almost ready,” she said after maybe another five minutes. The chips were gone and the beer was empty, I debated opening another.
“Just going to pee and then we’ll go,” she called sometime after that. I should have opened that second beer ten minutes earlier. I heard the toilet flush, then the sink running, then something spray or spritz. She walked into the kitchen and looked at me while she attached an earring. “That’s what you’re wearing?”
“I suppose I could run home and change.”
She actually seemed to think about that option for a moment then said, “No, we’re already late. Do you have a tie in the car?”
“I’m not wearing a tie.”
She shook her head then picked up a purse and keys. The purse was small, a little sort of fancy white beaded thing. It looked like it would barely hold a couple of credit cards and I wondered how that was going to work.
“Here, just carry these for me,” she said then handed me a comb, a hair brush with a folding handle, lipstick, an eyebrow pencil, some sort of makeup compact thing, and a small perfume bottle.
“What do you want me to do with all this?”
“Just bring it and don’t complain,” she said.
I headed to the car as she locked the front door.
“We better take my car. No telling what people would think if we arrived in that bomb of yours.”
I was driving a silver Sebring, no whitewalls, with a trunk that was sprayed flat black. I’d gotten a great deal on it at the police auction.
“You want me to drive your car?”
“Yeah, I’ve got some touch up to do,” she said then stood next to the passenger door of her BMW and waited for me to open it for her. I watched her get in, then dumped all the things I was supposed to carry in her lap and closed the door.
She had the mirror on the sun visor down before I climbed behind the wheel.
“Heidi, you look wonderful, you always do, just relax and enjoy the ride.”
“Just a little touch,” she said doing something to her eye with a pencil. “Where’d you get that coat?” she asked referring to my black and white checked sport coat.
“Like it?”
“Not really.”
“I got it at Sonny’s.”
“The bargain rack? I’m amazed they even let you out of the store with that thing.”
“I think it looks great.”
“The collar tab on your shirt is unbuttoned.”
“Yeah, the button must have come off at the dry cleaners.”
“Or, when it was lying on your bedroom floor for a week.”
“Are we going to be happy by the time we get there?”
“Okay, here’s the deal, I think a potential client is going to be here and maybe I’m just a little nervous. I’ve been working on this guy for over a year.”
“A little nervous, you’ve been bitching since you let me in the door. Anything I can do to help?”
“Yes, escort me in the door then stay away. I’ll signal if I need anything.”
“Sounds fun.”
“It’s business for me, Dev. You’ll get your reward at the end of the night, provided you behave.”
“I promise to be good,” I said.
Chapter Seven
The valet opened the door for Heidi then just stood there and stared with his mouth half open as she climbed out of the car.
“Do I get a receipt?” I asked, bringing him back to reality.
“Huh? Oh, yes sir. Here you go,” he said then went back to staring at Heidi as she walked into the hotel. Signs for the fundraiser pointed in the direction of an escalator that carried us up to the second floor.
“I’ll just be a minute,” Heidi said as we stepped off the escalator and she made a beeline for the ladies room.
“Can I get you something?”
“A white wine would be nice,” she called over her shoulder. I watched a half dozen heads turn as she made her way down the broad foyer.
I waited in line at the bar for Heidi’s white wine and a lite beer for me. Both items were over priced, the beer was warm and I noticed the tip jar was definitely looking on the sparse side. I carried the drinks back and waited a discreet distance from the ladies room with a half dozen other guys. Heidi returned about fifteen minutes later.
“God, this wine isn’t even chilled you should have gotten an ice cube to put in it.”
“At least yours was cold when I got it.”
“Sorry, I’m just a little nervous, this could be a big account for me, real big.”
“Well, you’re the best looking woman here, and if he doesn’t go for you then you don’t want to work with him because the guy would be an idiot.”
“Thanks, but this isn’t about boobs, Dev, it’s about business and being professional. Still, you know in your own silly, chauvinistic way you’re kind of nice, I think….”
“Heidi? Heidi Bauer, is that really you?”
“Why, Royal,” she called to some fat guy then left me in the dust as she strutted toward him.
I wandered off into the crowd, but kept Heidi in sight from time to time just in case she needed anything.
“Pa
rdon me, sir, but I think you’re in the wrong place, the strippers are next door,” a voice said from behind.
I turned round and there was Andy. “Hey, Andy, didn’t figure you for this stuff. I hope you’re passing out cards some of these guys look like they could drop over from a heart attack at any minute.”
“God, if only it was that easy,” he laughed then took a sip from his wine glass. “Hey, you must have gotten that coat from Tommy, he wore one just like it when I interviewed him the other day.”
“Great minds think alike, he still working out?”
“Yeah, what a tiger, the guy just wants to work. He’s there right now going till eight again tonight. And, he’s getting results for me, too.”
“Really, that’s great.”
“Yeah, can’t thank you enough, Dev. Hey, that’s my wife over there looking for me, I better get moving. Thanks again, enjoy your night.”
“You too, Andy, and behave.”
I lingered around one of the portable bars, delivered another glass of wine to Heidi then made myself scarce. I was right, the few remaining hors d’oeuvres were lousy. Teams of people were walking through the crowd selling raffle tickets at a hundred bucks a pop for two, round trip, first class tickets to anywhere in the world. I couldn’t remember winning anything like that in my life and I figured at a hundred bucks a pop this wasn’t the place to try and start.
From across the room Heidi raised her eyebrows, then her glass, signaling for another wine. I came past as discreetly as possible and handed her the wine, trying not to interrupt her conversation.
“Oh, thanks, Dev. Royal, this is the fellow I mentioned earlier, Dev Haskell, he’s a private investigator.”
“Hi, Royal Baker, nice to meet you,” he said and held out his hand. He was maybe an inch shorter than me, close to a hundred pounds heavier with thinning brown hair and a ruddy complexion.
“Dev Haskell, Royal, very nice to meet you.”
“Heidi was telling me you’re a private investigator.”
“That’s right.”
“I’d like to talk to you, I have a situation at work, but for a number of reasons I’d like to keep it very private and not have law enforcement involved, at least until I know for sure what we’re dealing with.”