by Aimée Thurlo
Moving quietly, they made their way across an open area, then ducked inside. The barn’s dirt floor was covered with several inches of straw. There were no animals penned inside, but two sheep were munching alfalfa from a wooden trough, and an opening in the back led to a fenced-in corral.
“We’ll be safe here for tonight,” Travis said. “I just hope he doesn’t own a dog that might sound an alarm.”
Fox gathered up some of the hay, trying to fashion a makeshift bed for herself. “Once this is all over, I’m going to buy a cozy little house. I’ll never go anywhere that doesn’t come equipped with soft beds and fresh linen.”
Travis lay down a few feet away from her. “Setting down roots isn’t the way to feel safe, you know.”
“I can’t go through life without forming attachments.”
“It’s not as hard as you think.” Travis turned over onto his side, propping his head on one elbow. “After a while it becomes second nature. I’m so used to guarding my emotions now, I’m not sure I could stop doing that, even if I wanted to.”
“You’ll never find love that way,” she said in a barely audible whisper.
“Love?” Travis shook his head. “That’s not for me. I don’t want it in my life. And, to be perfectly honest, it’s beyond what I’m capable of giving. I can honor my word, and I can be loyal. But giving my heart away... That’s an entirely different matter.”
“Love isn’t something you plan—it just happens.”
“Not as far as I’m concerned,” Travis answered quietly. “I’m too practiced at avoiding it.”
The words wrenched her heart. “Are you so sure? Refusing to acknowledge feelings doesn’t mean you don’t have them. You have ties to other people, though you may not admit it.”
“There are only two people who are close to me. My brother, for one.”
“And the other?”
“You,” he replied in a husky murmur.
“I know.”
Kneeling on the soft bed of straw, she took his hand and pulled him toward her. Travis rose to his knees and gathered her into his arms. Pressed against him, she could feel the hardness of his body and the proof of his desire.
“I should push you away,” he said, as a shudder racked his body. Travis kissed her hard and felt her lips part beneath his. “But it’s too late for that now,” he said, drawing in a ragged breath. “Forgive me.”
Chapter Thirteen
Travis held her, feeling her body tremble against his. Fox wanted him, and the knowledge made his body grow as hot as a furnace.
As her hands slipped inside his shirt, kneading his muscles, he shuddered. The darkness became alive, keeping them hidden in a world where nothing existed except the fires their touch created.
She tugged at his shirt, pulling it away from his shoulders, then pressed a kiss to his chest, over his heart.
“Make me forget everything except you tonight,” Fox whispered.
He kissed her then, his tongue thrusting past her lips and moving in a sensual rhythm that made her melt against him. Her gentleness cast a spell over him. He needed more of her softness. He undressed her slowly, kissing every inch of the flesh he bared, and leaving a hot, moist trail down the length of her body.
A storm raged inside him. Passion swirled around them like a hot desert wind. Desperate to hear her cries as she surrendered to the pleasures he could give her, he gently guided her down onto the bed of straw.
“It’s so dark,” she said, her voice trembling. “I can’t see you.” She reached out for him.
“Then feel me,” he said, guiding her hand over his naked chest, then lower, to where his manhood pulsed, constrained against his jeans. “I want you. Never doubt that.”
“Show me.”
“I am,” he managed. “And I will.” No one had ever touched him so lovingly and no caress had ever burned him so deeply. He brought her hand up to his cheek and pressed a kiss into her palm. “Tonight is for you, Fox.”
Travis then lay beside her, caressing her and wanting her, but knowing he cared too much about her to possess her fully without surrendering his heart.
Struggling against the fires that raged inside him, he drew her nipple into his mouth, sucking and teasing it with his teeth and tongue. She cried out his name, arching into him, eager for more. She was wildfire in his arms, and so compliant it took everything in him to hold back.
Travis raised his head, cradling her even more tightly against him as he murmured dark things in her ear. Then he kissed her again, letting her taste him as he moved his hand slowly down the length of her.
She writhed under his caress, helpless and needing him. Her entire being was focused on him as his palm smoothed over her skin.
Travis smothered her little cries with his mouth as his fingers breached her, pushing into her silken folds. She was so soft and so hot, he thought he would die.
As Travis stroked her, each strangled cry that came from her ripped through him like a bolt of lightning striking dry tinder. He was burning with the need to possess her, but the instinct to protect her overpowered everything else.
“Please,” she begged, her body aching for release.
Shaking, he brought her to the edge. Then, as she arched upward with a gasp, he felt her shatter around him.
“I need you so much, my sweet love,” he whispered, holding her close and absorbing the shudders that traveled over her.
Fox buried her face against his neck.
He capped the back of her head as he continued to hold her. “You are incredible, my heart,” he whispered in her ear.
“But you...”
“You gave me everything I wanted. Now, sleep while I hold you.”
Travis felt her heart beating against his. He wanted her so badly it was a physical pain. He’d forgotten how consuming, how hot, it could be for a man with the right woman.
Feeling the moisture in his eyes, Travis held her tighter as the darkness continued to shield them. Until tonight, he hadn’t understood that in an attempt to keep the world at bay, he’d condemned his own heart to a world of isolation.
TRAVIS WOKE UP JUST before dawn. Edging away from Fox, he stood up and washed his face using a nearby garden hose. The water was cold, but helped him wake up. A moment later, he picked up his shirt from the ground, slipped it on, and tucked it into his jeans.
He gazed down at her, watching the morning light dancing over her naked body, then crouched beside her and brushed the hair away from her face. “Wake up. It’s time for us to go.”
Her eyes opened slowly and she smiled. “So much for my beauty rest.”
He turned his back as Fox cleaned up and dressed. The temptation to possess her was still too strong and he didn’t trust himself.
Travis went to the barn doors. He could see movement inside the house through the open curtains. The rancher would be coming out to feed the livestock soon.
By the time he turned around, Fox was fully dressed. Almost as if she understood his need to focus on the present, she refrained from talking about what they’d shared. Instead, she joined him by the door, ready to go. “We should head to the closest gas station and call Ashe while he’s still at home,” she said. “But one thing worries me. Do you think Marc Gray has had Ashe’s phone tapped without his knowledge?”
“You’re trying to figure out how anyone could have tracked us after we left the pueblo, aren’t you?” He saw her nod, and continued. “That’s going to be a tough call. But I can tell you this. If my brother even thought there was a chance his phone was tapped, he would have warned me.”
“There are other possibilities. Both Andrews and Gray found us at the college,” she whispered. “Either of them could have passed the word on to McNeely—if that’s who has been following us.”
Moving quickly, they left the old man’s property.
“Considering how little we know, I think it’s best if I don’t call either my brother or Casey,” Travis said at long last.
“We still nee
d another vehicle.”
“I’ll call a rental agency in Albuquerque where a friend of mine works. John Francis will handle this for me so I won’t have to use a credit card and leave an electronic trail.”
Two hours later they met John near the turnoff to a church near El Rancho, a small, old settlement farther east.
“I appreciate you meeting us here,” Travis said, noting that John’s wife was in a second vehicle, probably the businessman’s own station wagon. She waved when Travis glanced over.
“It’s not a problem, and nobody but my wife, Virginia, knows I’m here.” Sensing the urgency of their situation, John kept things brief. “Once things settle down for you two, stop by the agency and we can settle the account then. I’ve filled out the paperwork in my own name, so you won’t have any problems.” He pointed out the various accessories of the sport utility vehicle he’d brought, as well as the camping gear inside. “I call this my Weekend Getaway Special and promote it for people who want to camp out once in a while without investing in all the camping equipment. The SUV is brand-new, with nearly a full tank of gas, so it’ll take you anywhere you have to go. All you’ll need is food and water.”
“I won’t forget this,” Travis said.
As soon as John and his wife had driven away, Travis switched on the engine of the sports truck and they headed down the main highway in the same direction. “Santa Fe is our next stop.”
“Good.” Fox exhaled softly. “I was afraid that I’d have to talk you out of going on through to Albuquerque.”
“No. This time we agree. The stakes are rising, so it’s more important you take a look at your old house. With any luck, it’ll trigger your memory.”
For once, they seemed focused on the same goal. Fox studied his expression, wondering if what they’d shared had moved him as deeply as it had her. There’d been no promises made, and he hadn’t taken her in the way she would have welcomed.
Yet there was a new fire in her soul now. In the midst of violence, a gentleness she hadn’t expected had touched her.
TRAVIS GAVE Fox A LONG, furtive glance. He could see a change in her this morning. She seemed to have new confidence. The urge to talk to her about what had happened between them last night was nearly overwhelming. He had so many questions he wanted to ask her. Was she okay today? Would she remember what they’d shared and treasure it, or would she force it from her mind, and look at it as nothing more than a mistake? The answers were as important to him as the very air he breathed, but he remained silent.
Travis stared at the road, determined to stay focused on what they were about to do.
“Remember our agreement, Fox,” he said. “I’ll determine whether or not it’s safe to approach the house. It’s daylight now, and that makes it safer for us in one respect, but even more dangerous in another.”
“I already accepted your terms. They made sense to me, and that’s why I agreed to them in the first place.”
Although her statement had been simply put, he sensed a challenge in her words. Fox was reminding him that she belonged only to herself. She’d shown him passion last night, but she remained her own person, relying on herself first, then him.
He was glad, for her sake. But the problem now was that he’d been so focused on protecting her, he’d forgotten to look after himself. What he felt for Fox went past the physical. Somewhere along the way, he’d surrendered a piece of his heart to her. His denying himself and putting her needs and feelings first had proved it
But what the hell was he supposed to do about it now? He still had nothing to offer her. When this was over, he had to rejoin his unit.
From now on, he’d concentrate on the job. He needed to be ruthless—not vulnerable—in order to keep her safe.
FOX COULD FEEL TRAVIS’S tension. Last night they’d crossed a line that perhaps neither should even have ventured near. And now it was too late to turn back. She knew that her feelings for Travis had deepened.
Since the day he’d first kissed her years ago, she’d made love with him a million times in her mind. She’d envisioned every minute detail. He would enter her body and, before it was over, lay claim to her heart.
The reality she’d experienced last night, though less complete, had been far more intense, more passionate, and better than anything she’d ever imagined. He was a man who did everything with a power and gentleness that could shatter the dreams of a girl and reshape them into ones worthy of a woman.
She forced herself not to even glance at him now. She wouldn’t burden him by asking for more than he could give. She’d known the score, and had chosen to gamble with her heart. Yet, no matter what lay ahead, she’d never regret last night.
“You’re too quiet,” he said. “We’re going where you wanted to go. So what’s up? Have you changed your mind?”
“No. I’m just trying to prepare myself. I keep thinking of something you said a long while back. Finding answers may unlock the door to a whole new set of problems.”
“Are you afraid of what you’ll learn, Fox?” he pressed.
She considered it carefully. “I’m afraid of how the knowledge will change me. By the time this is over, I’ll have paid for everything I’ve learned. The person I’ll be when we reach the finish line may be completely different from the person I am now.”
“It’s life that calls out to you. The People, the Navajo, define death as the inability to grow. When something ceases to evolve and mature—that is death.”
“There’s another death, Travis. A death of the soul. It happens when hope is shattered,” she said, her voice barely audible.
He didn’t answer right away. “Hope has a way of being reborn. It lifts itself out of the ashes like the phoenix,” he said as they entered the rolling piñon- and juniper-covered foothills that signaled that Santa Fe was near.
A half hour later, the skies were dark and thunder rolled overhead as they finally entered a residential district east of the Plaza. Pueblo-style adobe houses were the standard in Santa Fe, a city with strict building codes that helped fend off urban sprawl and cookie-cutter homes. The established areas of the city never changed much at all. “Do you recognize anything around here?”
She remained silent, looking at each house, searching for something that would trigger a spark of memory. Then, as they reached the end of the next block, she saw the house that had always danced at the very edges of her mind.
“That’s the address,” Travis said, almost simultaneously.
“Yes,” she said, in a mere whisper, as if afraid that it would vanish before her eyes. “I remember the long veranda and the way that old cottonwood shades the corner. I want to take a closer look. It doesn’t look like anyone lives there now. See the For Rent sign?”
“We can’t just walk up. For all we know, McNeely is inside, waiting.”
“Okay, then drive on by and park down the street. We’ll go up on foot,” she insisted. “If we sense trouble, we’ll cut and run.”
“All right, but once we reach the house, let’s duck behind the piñons beside the windows. Since it looks like the windows are open, we’ll need to be quiet, but we can take a closer look inside from there.”
“At least the neighborhood seems deserted. It looks like a middle-class section, so most of the people around here probably work. That’s a good thing for us, too. The last thing we need are nosy neighbors calling the police.”
“Some of these houses have garages, so don’t count on the houses being empty,” he warned. “There may even be a Neighborhood Watch program.”
As they got out of the truck, half-formed images from her past teased her, hovering just out of her reach. The threat of the upcoming storm tainted her efforts, continually distracting her. Then, a peal of thunder shattered the silence around them and a familiar terror gripped her.
Fox stared at the house down the street, her eyes on the veranda, and slowly a red haze, like a vision from hell, covered everything before her. Through it, she saw herself as a child
huddled in the corner, her back pressed to the wall, the curtain of red shimmering around her. Shuddering violently, she stopped in her tracks.
“What’s wrong?”
Travis’s question, and the way he was gripping her hand, forced her back to the present. “I’m remembering something, but’s it’s mostly a jumbled image that makes no sense at all,” she explained.
“We should come back in an hour or two,” he said. “Maybe after the weather clears up.”
“No. I have to see this through. That panic I feel whenever I hear thunder relates back to something that happened here, Travis. I know it.” Fox stared ahead, willing herself to remember. “Something happened to me on a day like today, when the thunder was as deafening as it is now.”
Travis gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, his gaze gentle as it rested on her. “All right. We’ll see this through together.”
They made their way slowly down the narrow street. When they got close to the house, Travis hurried with her into the shadows of the thick juniper hedge that bordered the property. “Now let’s listen and see if we’re alone. If we are, we can try to go inside,” he whispered.
They started to look around the end of the hedge when Travis suddenly gestured for her to remain still.
Fox followed his gaze and saw a large, athletic-looking Anglo man in a short military-style haircut setting up trip wires around the back of the house. A closer look revealed that the front had already been booby-trapped. She’d never met McNeely, but intuition told her that he was the man laying the traps for them.
Travis edged back behind cover, and they left the hedge, returning quickly to the truck. “Under these circumstances, we can’t go in there without backup. Since we don’t have it, we’re going to have to pass for now.”
“Let’s call Casey and Ashe, then stick around until they arrive, and make sure whoever’s there doesn’t go anywhere.”