“Why didn't you catch that when you wiped their memories?” Morgan asked.
“The scanner auto-calibrates to the brain in question,” Robert explained. “Our brains work differently from Vox and Doc and theirs work differently from each other. The scanner doesn't display a giant warning: clone brain message when you use it.”
“It should.”
“You may be right. But, be that as it may, the only time all three of the girls were out of our sight – or any of the three of them, for that matter – was when they went to buy dresses.”
“When could someone have gotten DNA samples from them?” Doc asked.
“The day of the awards ceremony,” the traveler replied. “Anyone in the numerous crowds we spent the day in could have snagged a hair from each of them. Plus, they'd have had time to grow the clones between then and date night.”
“Sturm danced with all three of them that evening,” Morgan pointed out.
“That's nice,” Robert replied dismissively. “Fortunately, whoever our foe is, it seems they have some kind of moral code. They haven't tried to kill us outright, and obviously, they kept clone-Celeste's ethics package intact – even though her altered behavior could have tipped us off. That being the case, I think we can assume that the girls are safe.”
“Speaking of being tipped off,” the young man said, “how did you figure out they were clones?”
“Actually,” Robert replied, “there were a lot of little clues. We just missed them. The first, of course, was the girls' odd behavior. Assuming we're right about when we lost them and ended up with the clones; they really overreacted to us being late...”
“We shouldn't have been late,” Morgan asserted.
“Undoubtedly. But, normally, a day or two's punishment would have been enough to cover that. Rather than getting better, however, things got worse and worse; wreaking havoc on the crew's morale. By degrees, their behavior became completely out-of-character, we just didn't notice because they were very effective at using every opportunity that might seem to justify their altered actions. However, Celeste stealing the pod – much less being able to outsmart me...”
“I thought you said she didn't outsmart you,” the young man pointed out.
“Should have told us something was definitely wrong,” Robert continued, ignoring Morgan's observation. “She and Vox have been married for over a hundred years and she'd never done anything like that before.”
“No, she hadn't,” Vox agreed. “But, I just thought she had gotten that worked up missing the kids and everything.”
“Exactly! Clone-Celeste kept escalating the conflict between you two until what she did seemed, under the circumstances, somewhat rational. Which is exactly what the clones of the girls did to us.”
“Meaning, of course,” Morgan said with a wide smile, “that you were completely and totally wrong.”
“When?”
“Are you serious?” the young man laughed. “From the very beginning to the very end!”
“No, I wasn't. For instance, I was right about them being clones.”
“Okay,” Morgan replied, rolling his eyes. “Well, you were wrong about why they got drunk, why Azure hit on you, why each of them kissed...”
“Maybe,” Robert interrupted, “but, I was right about the way Escargotians and Ratatouillians metabolize alcohol.”
“In this context, that isn't you being right,” the young man said, lifting his hands. “That was just you repeating facts you'd heard – like a parrot might have. The kind of right we're talking about here requires supposition and conjecture. Every single thing you supposed was wrong and all your conjectures were absolute bologna.”
“He's getting smarter,” Vox observed aloud.
“I've noticed,” Doc agreed.
Morgan's assertions caused Robert to take a deep breath through his nose while vigorously shaking his head.
“That sounds good, Morgan,” he admitted. “But, you're mistaken.”
“How so?”
“You see,” Robert began, “my calculations were thrown off by the fact that the girls weren't the girls; they were clones. However, had they been the girls and had they done all the things the clones did, you can be positive that I would have been absolutely correct about their motivations and desires.”
“You are totally full of it,” Morgan burst out laughing.
“I agree with him, bro,” Vox chuckled. “That there is a load of classic Rob.”
“Believe what you like,” Robert replied, “however, knowing Cleo as well as I do was what finally caused me to realize her clone was a clone.”
“Out of all the insane things clone-Cleo did, which one gave the game away?”
“Cleo being mad at me could explain almost all of it,” Robert replied. “Especially since the clone had planted the seed with you, Morgan, that she was trying to make me jealous. When Cleo has a goal in mind and fury to drive her forward, there's a lot she's capable of. Although, I admit that I was shocked – far more than shocked, actually – that she went as far as she did. Still, the clone had set the board up where I could believe that her moves were genuine. What I couldn't believe, however, was that Cleo had lied to you.”
“When did she lie?”
“When she told you I wouldn't let her turn the program back on,” Robert smiled. “That was a bald-faced lie. I had, in fact, asked her to turn it back on.”
“Rob, you sly dog, you,” Morgan replied.
“I know a good thing when I see it,” the traveler chuckled. “Plus, I actually think it was starting to work. However, the point is that clone-Cleo lied about it. I knew that was something Cleo would never do. She can't abide dishonesty.”
“Yet, she's engaged to you...”
“Opposites attract.”
“You two must be like the two most powerful magnets ever created.”
“We are,” Robert nodded. “In any event, once I realized Cleo was a clone, I was almost positive the other two were. Which is why I asked them those questions. There is no way Sister could have programmed Celeste with everything she would have needed in order to do what she did – not without her getting years of experience first, anyway. Azure, a young woman who puts incredible value on fidelity, wasn't likely to actually two-time with me and then dump you, Morgan. The moment the clone claimed her attraction to me was genuine, I knew she wasn't Azure.”
“Alright,” Morgan nodded. “You were right about that then, I guess.”
“It's amazing we didn't figure it out sooner,” Vox said. “I knew Celeste wasn't acting like herself.”
“You did,” Robert agreed. “But, sometimes people – especially women – don't act like themselves when they're upset. On the other hand, we overlooked even more clues than that.”
“Such as?” Morgan asked.
“All the system problems we've been having,” the traveler explained. “Vox, what turned out to be wrong with the drives, the stealth generators, and the lock on Cleo's door?”
“Well... Nothing, was really wrong with them. The software than runs them had just been tinkered with.”
“Exactly! We were hit with a series of annoying – but, not dangerous – problems, meant to drive us back to Never Never Land for repairs. Which is another reason I didn't want us to head that way until after we had figured out what was causing our issues. Somehow our faceless foe was modifying the software on the ship but, we couldn't work out how.
“It couldn't have been that virus because Cleo would have found it. If someone had somehow managed to install a device that could overwrite our software, Vox would have discovered it by now. It was hard to imagine how a stowaway could have managed to get on board without us noticing, and – after Vox mentioned the possibility – we double checked to make sure one hadn't. The logical conclusion was that one of us was intentionally causing problems but, I dismissed that out of hand. As it turns out, I shouldn't have.”
“We were blind,” Morgan said, shaking his head.
“We didn't expect the unexpected,” Robert replied.
“In future, we had better get better at doing that.”
“Agreed.”
“Well,” Vox sighed, “now that we've finally managed to piece it all together, what do we do?”
“The first thing we do,” Robert replied, “is brain-scan each other to make sure none of us are clones.”
They weren't.
“Now that we've taken care of that, let's get the clone-girls packed away. Then, we can discuss what our next course of action should be.”
The three clones were collected up, placed in clone tanks, and turned off.
“First off,” the traveler said the moment this was finished, “I want you all to know that, no matter what the situation is, we're going to save them. More than likely, they're perfectly safe but, whether or not they are, we're going to do whatever it takes to rescue them – even if it means blowing up the entire universe.”
“Agreed,” both Morgan and Vox replied.
“I think step one of our rescue operation is fairly obvious,” Robert continued. “Unfortunately, it's also going to take a few hours – at the very least. We need to restore the operating systems of every computer control on the ship from a backup made before date night.
“Once that's done, we're going to head for Never Never Land, contact Chairman Ross, and find out what clues they've managed to track down. More than likely they don't know anything more than we already do. However, now that they know that we know – as well as believing they know why we know – we can request any information we feel may lead us to our adversaries.
“Our initial focus, of course, is going to be on finding and rescuing the girls. To that end, we're going to try to figure out exactly where and when they went missing. I believe the first place to check is Celeste and Vox's house. Depending on what we find there, we'll direct our search in one direction or another. Now, lets' get on it.”
They spent most of the next five hours restoring all the ship's systems' software from pre-date-night backups. Normally, this could have been done in minutes. However, all things considered, Robert didn't feel they could rely on the auto-update system, as it was dependent on the individual operating system of each piece of equipment. This being the case, they had to update each one by hand. For extra measure, they even used a physical interface rather than trying to do it by remote. This was thorough, but slow.
This task complete, Robert sent the ship flying back toward Never Never Land and headed for the medi-bay with Morgan and Doc while Vox finally got to go to bed. The decision had been made to back up the clones' minds and then get to work on altering them.
“What exactly is our plan?” Morgan asked.
“We're going to reprogram the clones,” Robert replied.
“Why?”
“Once we find the girls, I'm planning on doing a bit of a switch.”
“So, we're going to replace the girls with clones?”
“We are.”
“What's the point of that?” Morgan asked.
“There are two major points,” Robert explained. “First, it will keep our adversaries from realizing that we've rescued the girls. Second, it will allow us to insert not only potential spies but, potential saboteurs into their operation.”
“That would do to them what they did to us,” Morgan nodded. “Next question: why didn't you reprogram the clones earlier so they could help us restore all those backups?”
“Because we're not sure exactly how long this is going to take us,” Doc explained. “We couldn't head for Never Never Land until after all our systems were working properly. If this ends up taking Robert and me – say, four hours – we'd have lost time by waiting until they could help us.”
“Makes sense, I guess. Next question:...”
“How many more are there?” Robert asked.
“One.”
“Go on.”
“Why don't we grow a Rob clone or two for situations like this?”
“The ship can only carry so much ego,” Doc chuckled.
“Funny,” Robert replied, shaking his head. “The truth is, Morgan, that I don't like the idea of having a large crew. The seven of us – which is actually more than I had originally planned to have on board – are more than capable of doing the job we have to do and keeping the ship running like it should.”
“Sure. But, what I'm saying is that it would be handy to have a couple more super-geniuses on the ship in case of emergencies. If three Robs had been working on getting Celeste back to the ship, she'd have probably never outsmarted you even once.”
“I keep telling you, Morgan; clones aren't people. A clone is like a computer; it can't think, it can't plan, it can't scheme.”
“Are you kidding me?” the young man laughed. “Even back in my day, computers could out-think the best chess players in the world.”
“No, they couldn't,” Robert corrected. “A computer is a machine, Morgan. One can no more out-think a person than a car can out-race them.”
“Ummm. A car can out-race a person.”
“Really? Let's put that to the test. Go tell the car that you want it to do three laps around the bay. Then, count to ten and take off running. When you're done, come back and tell me which of you won.”
“Very witty. What I'm saying...”
“What you're saying is that a person in a car can beat a person on foot in a race. I agree with you.”
“You could program the car...”
“Alright,” Robert interrupted again, “so what you were actually trying to say is that a person programming a car could beat someone on foot in a race. Again, I cede that point. My point, however is that cars don't race; people do. Computers don't think; people do. Deep Blue...”
“What?”
“The first super-computer to ever defeat a reigning chess champion on Earth. However, it wasn't actually playing against Garry Kasparov...”
“Who?”
“The chess champion, Morgan! Context, man! Try to keep up.”
“Sorry.”
“Garry Kasparov wasn't facing a computer. He was playing against an army of people – engineers and programmers that had worked for years and years to make a computer capable of running the software capable of defeating a single man. Considering the odds he was up against, it's hardly surprising that he lost. However, had Garry challenged Deep Blue to a rematch of Chutes and Ladders, it would have lost its circuits off. The only thing it knew how to play was chess. At least, to the best of my knowledge...
“Of course, the word 'knew' in that context is a complete misnomer. Deep Blue no more knew how to play chess than the car knows how to fly. It was a machine that turned electricity into chess, like an engine that turns fuel and fire into torque. It was the people behind those machines who wanted to beat a world chess champion and achieve locomotion that did all the knowing – and all the thinking.
“So, even if my – let's be honest – rather fantastic brain could be cloned – which it couldn't be even with our current technology level – the resulting clone-Robert wouldn't have my imagination, my inspiration, or my ability to creatively solve problems. It could run calculations almost as quickly as I can, it could do what I would do in any situation it had been programmed to recognize – provided it had also been programmed with how to deal with them – and it could pretend to be me. What it couldn't do, however, is actually be another me.”
“You could have just said: clones don't work that way.”
“I've tried that with you more than once,” Robert pointed out. “It's never stuck. Now, could you please be quiet so that Doc and I can finish what we're doing?”
“I certainly can be. In fact, I'm going to do better than that. I'm going to bed. It's been a long day.”
“That it has,” Robert agreed.
The following morning, Morgan awoke to find them already back in Never Never Land. Robert had gotten up the moment they arrived and dragged Chairman Ross out of bed. The chairman had then go
tten in touch with both Brother and Sister who quickly sent the data they had collected to the ship. Much as they expected, they already knew most of what been discovered. However, Brother had managed to gather some additional information.
The single hair they had discovered on the ship was from a clone of Martha Summers. There was nothing at all unusual about Miss Summers' background or abilities. Her work at the history department was excellent but, was in no way extraordinary. Her activities outside of work were equally unremarkable; being centered around her pets, a few close friends, and events held by the Robert Nathaniel Hood fan-club.
This information led Brother to believe that it was highly unlikely that she would have been a willing accomplice to a plan meant to subvert Robert's work. As a result, he requested the street surveillance video from her entire neighborhood during the forty-eight hours surrounding the fan-club incident. However, something happened to all the cameras in the surrounding area for roughly twenty minutes just before dawn on the morning the ship was sabotaged. The exact same thing happened again twelve hours later.
She was caught on video arriving at home the preceding evening and leaving thirty-seven minutes after the second time the video went out. If she had left or returned during the interceding hours, she had to have done it during the forty minute period when the cameras were malfunctioning.
This being the case, Sister got in touch with her – putting forth the pretense that she was simply calling her to see how she was doing, as it had been close to a decade since they had last spoken. Sister cautiously led the conversation to Miss Summers having met Robert. She had no idea who had rented the bus they had taken and claimed she had had a severe headache earlier that morning – which is why she had called in to work for a personal day – but that, fortunately, it had already gone by the time Susan Montgomery (the president of the fan-club) had called her.
The fact that she claimed that she didn't know who had rented the bus, as well as the fact that the video showed that she did not leave her house at the time she claimed she had, proved that she was either lying or that she had had her memory modified. Whichever the case, both Brother and Sister felt it would be better to let Robert consider the situation before they did more. The last thing they wanted to do was to tip off their quarry that they were on the scent.
Bad Behavior (The Last Time Traveler Book 3) Page 23